In stage. 舞台上。 The spotlight sparkle, all people looked that to two who will soon have mounted the stage. 聚光灯闪耀,所有人都看向了即将登台的两人。 Although has a dress rehearsal today, is all seats, the light, the stage effect, the personnel, is one month later when lunar New Year's Day Spring Festival live broadcast lineup, besides audience different, has almost not sold at a discount, therefore first time stood in such large-scale party said that a Zhang Ye time feeling of Crosstalk was also quite novel, Yao Jiancai was also, he was also the head reports Spring Festival, the head returns has a dress rehearsal, could see that Old Yao was a little anxious. 虽然今天是彩排,可是所有的机位,灯光,舞台效果,人员,全都是一个月后大年初一春晚直播时的阵容,除了观众不一样以外,几乎一点也没打折扣,所以还是第一次站在这么大型晚会现场说相声的张烨也一时间感觉比较新奇,姚建才也是,他也是头回上春晚,头回跟着彩排,看得出,老姚还有点紧张。 The applause resounds. 掌声响起。 Xiao Lu Da Fei they applaud very much go all out. 小吕大飞他们鼓掌得很卖力气。 Manager even/including with a smile is also clapping. Atmosphere somewhat Spring Festival same day meaning. 连台长也在笑着拍手。现场气氛真有点春晚当天的意思。 Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai have mounted the stage, brushed past with Dong Shanshan and that male Host, Dong Shanshan gave back to him to push to have the happy expression look, these two Host lines did not have a moment ago they greet with Zhang Ye ahead of time, string together in the process of field to step on imperceptibly shouted Zhang Ye one time. 张烨和姚建才登台了,与董杉杉和那男主持人擦肩而过,董杉杉还给他挤了一个带着笑意的眼神,刚才这俩主持人的台词可没提前跟张烨他们打招呼,串场的过程里无形中踩呼了张烨一次。 Which however Zhang Ye this male servant is the person who is willing to suffer a loss, no one has thought that Zhang Ye to go on stage counter-attacked. 然而张烨这厮哪儿是个肯吃亏的人啊,谁也没想到,张烨一上台就回击了。 Yao Jiancai stands firm before the microphone, bumped the good content according to before and Zhang Ye, on the face brims with the smiling face of most giving birth for the first time, „everybody new year's celebration was good!” 姚建才站定在话筒前,按照之前和张烨碰好的内容,脸上洋溢着最开怀的笑容,“大家过年好！” Finally the Zhang Ye first few words have not come according to word, left has a look right to have a look to say indignantly: „First leaves anxiously paying new year's call, has the security? Security?” 结果张烨第一句话就没按词儿来,气愤地左看看右看看道:“先别急着拜年,有保安没有？保安呐？” Yao Jiancai is startled, „called security to do?” 姚建才一怔,“叫保安干嘛？” Zhang Ye turns round continuously Dong Shanshan they, „seizes that them!” 张烨回身一直董杉杉他们,“把那俩人抓走！” As soon as the person listened to smile. 现场的人一听就笑了。 Dong Shanshan is also smart-alecky blinked. 董杉杉也是俏皮地眨了眨眼。 Male Host, has let go innocently. 男主持人呃了一下,无辜地摊手。 Yao Jiancai said: „Did others do you to make an arrest?” 姚建才道:“人家干什么了你抓人？” Zhang Ye does not like listening to say very much: „What is ‚we have an accident probably frequently’? Whom this says?” 张烨很不爱听道:“什么叫‘我们好像经常出事’？这是说谁呐？” Yao Jiancai said with a smile: „This actually, we do not have an accident.” 姚建才笑道:“这倒是,我们不出事。” Zhang Ye said seriously: „Later again introduced time, removed probably!” 张烨严肃道:“以后再介绍的时候,把好像去掉！” „? Frequently has an accident?” Yao Jiancai hi. “啊？就是经常出事啊？”姚建才嗨了一声。 Dong Shanshan tittered one! 董杉杉噗嗤一声！ Male Host has not borne happily! 男主持人也没忍住乐了！ Under field immediately a laughter piece. 场下顿时笑声一片。 Chang Xiaoliang knows that these may ahead of time not arrange, is actors strain of on site, to praise sighed: „Response was too quick, hangs the burden on the spot!” 常晓亮知道,这些可都不是提前安排好的,全是演员们的临场应变,不禁赞叹道:“反应太快了,现场挂包袱啊！” Vice- Director also said: „Good that Teacher Yao also meets, really worthily is the old buddy, was too tacit.” 副导演也道:“姚老师也接的好,真不愧是老搭档,太默契了。” Xiao Lu is much more excited applauds! 小吕激动得大声叫好！ After such a beginning, Yao Jiancai also relaxed, a moment ago also the tight mood, all of a sudden by Zhang Ye leading into a very good performance condition, Yao Jiancai also has sometimes had to ashamed, not look that his age was bigger than much Zhang Ye, may in the stage, majority of time have the rhythm by Zhang Ye. 经过这么一个开场,姚建才也放松下来了,刚才还紧绷的情绪,一下子被张烨给带入了一个很好的表演状态,有时候姚建才也不得不惭愧一下,别看他岁数比张烨大了不少,可在舞台上,大部分时间还是得靠张烨来带节奏。 Under stage. 台下。 Has the humanity of verification group: „Looks at weibo, some people scolded Zhang Ye.” 有审核组的人道:“看微博,有人骂张烨呢。” Another staff said: „Yes, gave to scold including our Beijing TV Station.” 另一个工作人员道:“是啊,连咱们京城电视台也给骂了。” „Is Tang Dazhang that group of people.” “又是唐大章那帮人。” „CCTV Spring Festival Segment Group also mixed.” “还是央视春晚栏目组的也掺和进来了。” „This fellows were really endless.” “这帮家伙真是没完没了了。” „How what has their matters? Whom did we ask to obstruct them? Tube do that many do?” “怎么什么都有他们的事啊？我们请谁碍着他们了？管那么多干嘛？” Many people raised morning of the day before yesterday knew, today's dress rehearsal, Zhang Ye Yao Jiancai other Crosstalk and several key Program are actually „false Program”, casually said that even if in their platform anything did not speak to consume time on the line, or before them, had said Program , the goal was to feel the location, walks time, did not use that earnestly, how therefore many people have not been serious, had the person in looking at cell phone, had the person in talking in whispers, discussed on weibo CCTV and Crosstalk to denouncing of Zhang Ye. 很多人提前早知道了,今天的彩排,张烨姚建才的相声和其他几个重点节目其实都是“假节目”,就是随便说的,就算俩人站台上什么都不吭声把时间耗过去了就行,或者说一个他们以前说过的节目也可以,目的就是为了感受一下场地,也是走一遍时间,不用那么认真,所以好多人也没怎么当回事,有人在看手机,还有人在窃窃私语,讨论微博上央视和相声界对张烨的声讨。 But quick, the attention of people all by pulling in stage, because they discovered stunned that Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai actually all earnestly were saying the new piece! 可是很快,众人的注意力就全都被拉到了舞台上,因为他们错愕的发现,张烨和姚建才竟然全在认认真真地说新段子！ Yao Jiancai said: „Do not pull other, has given the viewer friends to pay new year's call first.” 姚建才道:“别扯别的了,先给观众朋友们拜年吧。” A Zhang Ye actually listless appearance, „.” 张烨却一副无精打采的样子,“哦。” Yao Jiancai has a look at him, said: „Does obeisance?” 姚建才看看他,道:“拜呀？” Zhang Ye savors the mouth, „.” 张烨咂摸嘴,“嗯。” Yao Jiancai: „How haven't you awaked are? This others performed these many Program a moment ago, is splendid, didn't you have the spirit?” 姚建才:“你这是没睡醒啊是怎么着？这刚才人家都表演这么多节目了,多精彩啊,你还没精神？” Zhang Ye curls the lip, Yang-yang chin has referred to behind, „did you say a moment ago that acrobatics?” 张烨撇嘴,扬扬下巴指了后面一下,“你说刚才那杂技啊？” Yao Jiancai: „Yes, is attractive.” 姚建才:“是啊,多好看啊。” Zhang Ye hey said: „Acrobatics have any quality of being worth looking, is the departments of pediatrics, previous time I watched acrobatics with CCTV Spring Festival on, anything that develops!” 张烨嘿道:“杂技有什么看头啊,都是小儿科,上次我就跟央视春晚上看了一个杂技,演的什么呀！” CCTV Spring Festival? 央视春晚？ Mentioned CCTV Spring Festival? 怎么提到央视春晚了？ People one surprised. 众人一愕。 Yao Jiancai: „What developed?” 姚建才:“演什么了？” The Zhang Ye gesture said: „Is a female, is pulling Old Hu, in that female mouth is holding in the mouth a sugar, then that Old Hu comes, ka opened mouth holding in the mouth from that female mouth that sugar!” 张烨比划道:“就是一个女的,牵着一头老虎,那女的嘴里面叼着一块糖,然后那老虎过来,咔地一张嘴把那糖从那女的嘴里给叼走了！” Yao Jiancai is shocked: „? Old Hu? Holds in the mouth the sugar?” 姚建才惊呆:“啊？老虎？叼糖？” Zhang Ye: „Um.” 张烨:“嗯。” Yao Jiancai whoops said: „This was too splendid.” 姚建才哎呦道:“这太精彩了啊。” Zhang Ye snort|hum said: „Splendid anything.” 张烨哼道:“精彩什么啊。” Yao Jiancai: „This attractive!” 姚建才:“这好看啊！” Zhang Ye has cut one, „attractive anything, I am also good!” 张烨切了一声,“好看什么啊,我也行啊！” Yao Jiancai is startled, „are you also good?” 姚建才怔住,“你也行？” Zhang Ye: „I am also good!” 张烨:“我也行啊！” Yao Jiancai: „You come.” 姚建才:“那你来啊。” „I come me to come.” The Zhang Ye big hand wields, said: „Comes individual, pulls that Old Hu!” “我来就我来。”张烨大手一挥,道:“来个人,把那老虎牵走！” The people stare. 众人一愣。 Yao Jiancai responded the moment, spits blood saying: „Nonsense! Is also good with that female me!” 姚建才反应了片刻,吐血道:“废话！跟那女的我也行！” Zhang Ye rushes saying: „I said first, I come first!” 张烨抢着道:“我先说的,我先来！” The Yao Jiancai corona said: „Who snatched with you!” 姚建才晕道:“谁跟你抢了啊！” The person under field smiled to spurt in a flash, „Hahahahaha!” 场下的人一瞬间都笑喷了,“哈哈哈哈哈！” Gathers is being you holds in the mouth sugar to feed!? 合着是你去叼糖啊喂！？ Brother Hou Younger Brother Hou laughs is patting the leg! 侯哥侯弟大笑着拍腿！ Chief Director Chang Xiaoliang smiles to bend the waist! 总导演常晓亮笑弯了腰！ The eyes of station managers and several Station Leader also smiled a line! 台长和几个台领导的眼睛也都笑成了一条线！ Yao Jiancai: „I calculate that looked, you recently was this sad?” 姚建才:“我算看出来了,你最近这是心情不好啊？” Zhang Ye hey said: „My mood can good be strange, I, made anything not to be suitable starting from the childhood, has not succeeded.” 张烨嘿道:“我心情能好才怪,我啊,从小时候开始就做什么什么不顺,从来就没有成功过。” Yao Jiancai said: „Succeeds gradually comes.” 姚建才说:“成功得一步一步来。” A Zhang Ye gesture, „in childhood always studied, daily reads.” 张烨一比划,“小时候总学习,天天看书。” Yao Jiancai: „This is the good deed.” 姚建才:“这是好事啊。” Zhang Ye: „The ancient said well, in the book has Yan Ruyu, in the book has Yan Ruyu.” 张烨:“古人说得好啊,书中自有颜如玉,书中自有颜如玉。” Yao Jiancai said surprised: „? Huangjinwu?” 姚建才愕道:“啊？黄金屋呢？” Zhang Ye takes a look at him, „what is Huangjinwu?” 张烨瞅瞅他,“黄金屋是啥？” Yao Jiancai: „In book has the Huangjinwu.” 姚建才:“书中自有黄金屋啊。” The Zhang Ye nod said: „You said also right, which not having the Huangjinwu aunts to live.” 张烨点头道:“哦你说的也对,没有黄金屋大娘们住哪儿啊。” Yao Jiancai humph said: „Gathers you to rush to the big woman to go?” 姚建才嚯道:“合着你就奔着大娘儿们去的啊？” Zhang Ye looked that the fool same visits him: „Nonsense, otherwise who reads?” 张烨看傻子一样看着他:“废话,不然谁看书啊？” Yao Jiancai is speechless: „Hey yo, reads for this? The book of any content your this reads!” 姚建才无语:“嘿呦,看书就为这个啊？你这都看的什么内容的书啊！” Zhang Ye: „Turns head my also you.” 张烨:“回头我还你。” Yao Jiancai: „Do I borrow you?” 姚建才:“我借你的啊？” Under many people have doubled with laughter! 底下不少人已经前仰后合！ „Puff Hahahaha!” “噗哈哈哈哈！” „Do not speak to me, making me smile for ten minutes!” “别跟我说话,让我笑十分钟！” „Was whoops happy I!” “哎呦乐死我了！” Did not say casually? 不是随便说说的吗？ Isn't „false Program”? 不是“假节目”吗？ How these two put out new Crosstalk to come unexpectedly! 怎么这俩居然拿出新相声来了啊！ Da Fei under going all out whistle, some side people look at his him no matter also! 大飞在底下拼命吹口哨,旁边有人看他他也不管！ Zhang Ye sighed angrily said: „I was not good in childhood, after big, is not good.” 张烨叹气道:“我小时候不行,大了以后也不行。” Yao Jiancai: „After big, how?” 姚建才:“大了以后怎么了？” Zhang Ye: „Others have not had the skill, cannot compare others, you looked that others that have gotten up CCTV Spring Festival certain Crosstalk actors.” Here, he was also discrete, „, who we cannot raise are, cannot say the name.” 张烨:“没人家有本事啊,比不上人家啊,你看人家那个上过央视春晚的某些相声演员。”说到这里,他也谨慎了起来,“嗯,咱们不能提是谁啊,不能说名字。” Yao Jiancai nods, „right, was needless to say the name.” 姚建才点头,“对,不用说名字。” Zhang Ye said: „On that Tang great kindness, one meter eight big stature, the bone ash can install one -and-a-half boxes, 47 years old, male, on June 2 was born, the id number is 330......” 张烨道:“就那个唐大德,一米八的大个儿,骨灰能装一盒半,47岁,男,六月二日出生,身份证号是330……” Yao Jiancai had a scare, „humph! Hasn't your this been able to say name? Your id number dried in the sun to others!” 姚建才吓了一跳,“嚯！你这还不能说名字呐？你身份证号都给人家晾出来了啊！” Hello! The people smile to pull out! 哎呦喂！众人笑抽！ Tang great kindness? 唐大德？ Tang Dazhang? 唐大章？ Puff! Here we go again! Zhang Ye this pit goods started! 噗！又来了！张烨这坑货又开始了！ Zhang Ye: „You have a look at others to be successful, the fame is much big, makes money easily, others exit to go to the country to perform, which place to said that Crosstalk is a few words.” 张烨:“你看看人家多成功,名气多大,赚钱多容易,人家出去下乡演出,到了哪个地方说相声都是一句话。” Yao Jiancai: „?” 姚建才:“一句？” Zhang Ye: „, For example to Taiyuan, others sang ‚Taiyuan Taiyuan my hometown’, bowed to leave office, finished up, actually at all was not a native of Taiyuan, to Jinan is also, ‚Jinan Jinan my hometown’, bowed to leave office, money succeeded in obtaining, was easy!” 张烨:“就一句,比如到了太原,人家就唱‘太原啊太原啊我的故乡’,一鞠躬下台了,完事儿,其实根本不是太原人啊,到了济南也是,‘济南啊济南啊我的故乡’,一鞠躬下台了,钱到手,多容易！” Yao Jiancai said suddenly: „Did that arrive in Kiamusu?” 姚建才眨眼道:“那到了佳木斯呢？” Zhang Ye: „Same, Kiamusu Kiamusu my hometown.” 张烨:“一样啊,佳木斯佳木斯我的故乡。” Yao Jiancai: „To Urumqi?” 姚建才:“到了乌鲁木齐呢？” Zhang Ye sang: „Urumqi Urumqi my hometown.” 张烨唱道:“乌鲁木齐乌鲁木齐我的故乡。” Yao Jiancai thinks that plays a dirty trick saying: „If to Buenos Aires?” 姚建才想了想,使坏道:“要是到了布宜诺斯艾利斯呢？” The auditorium has been able to hear puff the laughter! 观众席已经可以听到噗噗的笑声了！ Zhang Ye, sang: „Cloth suitable...... Bu Yi...... Coughs......” then waves the arms about, curls the lip saying: „You could rest assured that this actor cannot go abroad!” 张烨呃了一声,唱道:“布宜诺……布宜……咳……”然后一甩手,撇嘴道:“你放心,这种演员出不了国！” Yao Jiancai said with a smile: „Also is, this called any Crosstalk.” 姚建才笑道:“也是,这叫什么相声啊。” Zhang Ye: „Have not despised others, this Crosstalk, others said said for a lifetime as usual, you know how many people have to listen? You know how many prostate patients others have cured?” 张烨:“你还别小看人家,就这个相声,人家说了一辈子照旧说,你知道有多少人听呢么？你知道人家治好了多少前列腺患者吗？” Yao Jiancai: „? Prostate patient?” 姚建才:“啊？前列腺患者？” Zhang Ye: „Others said that Crosstalk that is treats an illness, opens mouth, all prostate patients urinated.” 张烨:“人家说相声那是治病,一张嘴,所有前列腺患者都尿了。” Yao Jiancai: „?” 姚建才:“啊？” Zhang Ye: „Therefore I do not dare to listen to Tang great kindness Crosstalk at the scene.” 张烨:“所以我一直没敢在现场听唐大德的相声。” Yao Jiancai: „Why?” 姚建才:“为什么啊？” Zhang Ye: „I will not swim! Is drown to death to me again!” 张烨:“我不会游泳啊！再给我淹死！” At this moment, under the stage all people know, before Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai absolutely are to go on stage, has looked at Weibo! 这一刻,台下所有人都知道,张烨和姚建才绝对是上台之前看过微薄了！ Xiao Lu: „Hahahaha!” 小吕:“哇哈哈哈哈！” Several cameraman tears almost smile! 几个摄像师眼泪差点笑出来！ When Hu Fei under actually dumbfounded , dress rehearsal lets you and Yao Jiancai „talks nonsense” is polite! Is a simple analogy! 胡飞在底下却哭笑不得,彩排时让你和姚建才“瞎说”就是客气一声啊！就是个简单的比喻啊！ Fuck did you also take seriously? 我草你还当真了？ Fuck you also really talked nonsense!? 我草你还真瞎说啊！？ Zhang Ye was to disperse the flower today, since were false Program, what said also it does not matter, then he naturally had no scruples, to put it bluntly, this goods are play today, was mainly primarily one's own to satisfy a craving, the Capital City Spring Festival same day, this Program definitely was impossible to go on stage, but said in secret, who managed? 张烨今天是撒开花儿了,既然是假节目,说什么也无所谓,那么他自然更毫无顾忌,说白了,这货今天就是来玩儿的,主要以自己过瘾为主,京城春晚的当天,这种节目肯定是不可能上台的,但私下里说说,谁管的着啊？ But presents everyone not to know that some people are recording. 可是在场谁也不知道,有人在录音。 That person in corner is excited trembles, he has not thought when dress rehearsal false Program such will really have „material”, he could not endure, immediately covertly has recorded the good sound recording to send online! 角落里的那个人兴奋得直哆嗦,他也万万没想到一个彩排时的假节目竟然会这么有“料”,他已经忍不了了,登时偷偷摸摸地将已经录好的录音发到了网上！