„God transition!” “神转折啊！” „Hahahaha!” “啊哈哈哈哈！” „Who holds my one! Smiled but is actually quick!” “谁来扶我一把啊！笑得快倒了啊！” „Zhang Ye you were too mischievous! Originally is waiting finally!” “张烨你太调皮了啊！原来在最后等着呢啊！” „Inadequate was whoops inadequate! This piece damn was too classical!” “哎呦不成了不成了！这段子太尼玛经典了啊！” „Pen? I must remember! Studies a tiny bit from Teacher Zhang here, later scolded spreads around the world Undefeatable!” “笔呢？我必须要记下来！从张老师这里学个一星半点,以后骂遍天下无敌手啊！” The scene had blasted out by laughter a piece by piece, since this can be said as «Zhang Ye's Talkshow» begins broadcasting causes a laughter decibel highest piece! 现场已被一片片笑声炸开,这可以说是《张烨脱口秀》开播以来引起笑声分贝最高的一个段子了！ Dong Shanshan covers the face to smile! 董杉杉捂着脸笑！ Wang Bei smiles stamps the high-heeled shoes! 王蓓笑得直跺高跟鞋！ Ah Qian and Little Yu are hammering the thigh of one's own! 阿千和小育是一个劲锤着自己的大腿！ The sisters and several cameramen are cover mouth to smile, they are recent to the audio frequency receive, does not want to affect live broadcast, can only hold, but that also smiled to shiver tears that the corner of the eye lower reaches came out to look, several photographs quickly smiled to faint, even affected the photography! 四姐和几个摄像师是捂着嘴笑,他们离音频接收最近,不想影响直播,只能憋住,但那笑得颤抖得眼角下流出来的眼泪也能看出来了,几个摄像都快笑晕过去了,甚至影响了拍摄啊！ What jb gadget is this? 这是什么jb玩意儿？ We also think that you will say had understood after Li Puyu, will discover that he is a good person! Finally comes out such! Hahaha! How you think you! This transition damn was too unexpected! Teacher Zhang Ye! Your such noisy Li Puyu will cry! Can cry really! 我们还以为你会说了解了李朴宇以后就会发现他是好人呢！结果就出来这么一句！哈哈哈！你怎么想的啊你！这转折太尼玛出人意料了啊！张烨老师啊！你这么闹李朴宇会哭的！真的会哭的啊！ Some people did not like listening. 有人不爱听了。 That black person frowns saying: „Curses at people!” 那个黑人蹙眉道:“怎么骂人！” Zhang Ye blinks confusedly, „curses at people? Who cursed at people? I said ‚cancels coin’, what meaning jb don't you know? Oh, your foreigners possibly do not speak Chinese, in our Domestic, jb is the meaning of gold coin, JIN -bi the Pinyin abbreviation, what is the gold coin? Is precious Items, is valuable is very very brilliant, I am praising Li Puyu Teacher to be brilliant, where did I have the cursing at people intention?” 张烨迷茫地眨眨眼,“骂人？谁骂人了？我说的‘勾币’啊,jb你不知道什么意思？噢,你们老外可能不太懂汉语,在我们国内啊,jb就是金币的意思,jin-bi的拼音缩写嘛,金币是什么？是贵重物品,是很值钱很光彩照人的,我是在夸李朴宇老师光彩照人啊,我哪里有骂人的意图了？” Blacks: „...... *%¥##!” 黑人:“……*%¥##！” As soon as the audiences listen, is overjoyed, „Hahaha!” 观众一听,更是乐不可支,“哈哈哈！” Zhang Ye has referred to the black person, „does not believe you to ask everybody, jb what meaning?” 张烨给黑人指了指,“不信你问问大家,jb什么意思？” All Republic audiences with one voice shout: „Naturally is the gold coin! Hahaha!” 所有共和国的观众们都异口同声地喊道:“当然是金币啊！哈哈哈！” „You have a look, haven't I spoken incorrectly?” Zhang Ye shrugs saying: „Our is high-end program, how to present the phrase that curses at people.” “你看看,我没说错吧？”张烨耸肩道:“我们这是一个高端节目,怎么会出现骂人的字眼啊。” The blacks are about to have cried, your younger sister! You think really I do not speak Chinese! 黑人都快哭了,你妹啊！你真以为我不懂汉语啊！ Under the stage that man old before his time and commercial management dumbfounded looks to Feng Guiqin, „your this new column criteria are big enough!” 台下那个小老头、公司领导哭笑不得地看向冯桂琴,“你们这新栏目尺度够大的！” Feng Guiqin was also teased has smiled for quite a while, now the recovering consciousness one breath, the respite said: „, WebTV, criterion can fortunately greatly, so long as does not present too obvious prohibited glossary on the line.” 冯桂琴也被逗得笑了半天,现在才缓过来一口气,喘息道:“还好吧,网络电视,尺度都可以大点,只要不出现太明显的违禁词汇就行。” King Hero said with a smile: „I calculate that looked, Teacher Little Zhang this issue of column, was satisfies a craving today! One entire issue is not to scold the Republic of Korea person?” 王雄笑道:“我算看出来了,小张老师今天这期栏目,是过瘾来了啊！不会一整期都是骂韩国人的吧？” It is a pity that King Xiongzhen guessed right! 遗憾的是,王雄真的猜对了！ ...... …… The laughter continues to be a little long, probably 56 seconds, when they smile, Zhang Ye continues saying: „Speaking of the Republic of Korea person, I very have envied actually their, why did you know? Because the Crosstalk actor in our country must carry a thing to call the report name since childhood, we study the broadcast specialized also at school was requested to carry, practices the glib lips, the inside altogether 108 dishes, is a Republic person I feel the incomparable pain at this moment, is Manchu-Han Imperial Feast, I must carry it completely.” 笑声持续有点长,大概56秒钟,等他们笑完,张烨继续道:“说到韩国人啊,我其实一直都挺羡慕他们的,你们知道为什么吗？因为咱们国家的相声演员从小都要背一个东西叫报菜名,我们学播音专业的很多也被在学校时要求背过,练嘴皮子,里面一共108道菜,身为一个共和国人我此时此刻感到无比痛苦,就是满汉全席啊,我要把它全部背下来。” The audiences applaud immediately! 观众立即鼓掌！ „Comes one!” “来一段！” „Right, comes one!” “对,来一个！” Dong Shanshan is startled, they go to school have not carried «Report Name», some Teacher suggested actually everybody practices, has not actually forced to request. 董杉杉一怔,他们上学可没背过《报菜名》啊,倒是有老师建议大家练一练,却没强制要求过。 Other colleagues do not know that Zhang Ye is good. 其他同事也不知道张烨行不行。 This world also has «Report Name» this Crosstalk program, because was too traditional, the Manchu-Han Imperial Feast history has not changed, therefore naturally exists, before Zhang Ye, specially Zha Guo. 这个世界也有《报菜名》这个相声节目,因为太传统了,满汉全席的历史也没有变,所以自然存在,张烨之前特意查过的。 Zhang Ye smiles, „good, I simply come Little Duan to recite without seeming to pause for breath, um, I asked you to eat...... Steams the lamb, steams the bear's paws, steams Lu Weier, burnt the flowered duck......” Zhang Ye to start to say very slowly, but more said that more quick to talk hid more moves is more agile, behind has almost not stopped, „burnt chickling, cooked the child goose, stew salty duck sauce chicken cured meat preserved egg small stomach dries in the sun the meat sausage, assorted Su Panxun chicken Bai Duer steamed the eight precious ingredients pig polished glutinous rice to ferment the duck, the pot pheasant pot quail sauced assorted sauced child goose sauced shrimp...... Waits!” This set of basic skills get down solidly, although does not have anything to smile, may actually very much shock the person, Zhang Ye this recited without seeming to pause for breath even says compared with many Domestic Crosstalk actor agile! 张烨笑笑,“好吧,我就简单来一小段贯口吧,嗯,我请您吃……蒸羊羔,蒸熊掌,蒸鹿尾儿,烧花鸭……”张烨开始说得很慢,但是越说越快嘴皮子越动越利落,后面几乎没有停顿了,“烧雏鸡儿,烧子鹅,卤煮咸鸭酱鸡腊肉松花小肚儿晾肉香肠,什锦苏盘熏鸡白肚儿清蒸八宝猪江米酿鸭子,罐儿野鸡罐儿鹌鹑卤什锦卤子鹅卤虾……等等等等吧！”这一套扎扎实实地基本功下来,虽然没什么笑点,可却是很震撼人的,张烨这贯口甚至比很多国内相声演员说的都利索啊！ „Good!” “好！” „Good that said!” “说的好！” Everybody sends to the applause immediately! 大家立即送去掌声！ Wang Bei and other Host also clap to commend, gives the devil his due, from the basic skills, the people of their several study broadcasts truly is inferior to Zhang Ye, his glib lips are no wonder fierce, others basic skills are solid, this looked that is usually little has not worked hard, gave to have a thorough understanding! 王蓓等几个主持人也纷纷拍手称赞,平心而论,就从基本功来看,他们几个学播音的人确实不如张烨,怪不得他嘴皮子厉害呢,人家基本功就扎实啊,这一看就是平常没少下工夫,都给吃透了！ In fact this was the Memory Search Capsule merit, Zhang Ye recently may almost spend Reputation value that came on the capsule, in the brain the memory thing were also getting more and more, the capital was getting more and more thick, said that recited without seeming to pause for breath or is a cinch, even lets him the back is not having any issue now «Report Name» but actually, because he was different from other person of that mechanical memorizing, his memory was the direct extraction. 实际上这都是记忆搜索胶囊的功劳,张烨这些日子可几乎把得来的声望值都花费在胶囊上了,脑子里记忆的东西也越来越多,资本越来越厚,说个贯口还是不在话下的,甚至现在让他把《报菜名》倒着背都没有任何问题,因为他跟其他人那种死记硬背不同,他的记忆是直接抽取的。 A small interlude, showed one's skill simply, Zhang Ye continued says with a smile: „Listens to be much more tired? I must carry 108 dishes, therefore, I specially envy the Republic of Korea colleague, if I they that would be nice, carries specially to be simple.” His clear throat, said: „I asked you to eat...... The pickled vegetable thinks of the meter pickled vegetable to think of meter pickled vegetable to think of the meter pickled vegetable to think of the meter...... As well as the pickled vegetable thinks of the meter!” 一个小插曲,简简单单地露了一手,张烨继续说笑道:“听着就累得慌吧？我要背108道菜,所以啊,我就特别羡慕韩国的同行,我要是他们该多好啊,背起来就特别简单。”他一清嗓子,道:“我请您吃……泡菜思密达泡菜思密达泡菜思密达泡菜思密达……以及泡菜思密达！” „Hahaha!” “哈哈哈！” „Too was whoops funny!” “哎呦太逗了！” „They have the pickled vegetable!” “他们只有泡菜啊！” The audiences smiled to spurt! 观众又笑喷了！ The Zhang Ye voice just fell and met, but said: „Afterward I discovered that I have thought mistakenly, I knew a Republic of Korea Crosstalk actor, their report names our must be longer than unexpectedly, the type is rich.” Saw everybody puzzled vision, Zhang Ye said: „First, their first 108 dishes are just the same as us!” 张烨话音刚落又接回来,无奈道:“可是后来我发现我想错了,我认识了一个韩国相声演员,他们的报菜名居然比我们的还要长,种类还要丰富。”见大家不解的目光,张烨说:“首先,他们的前108道菜跟我们是一模一样的！” Wang Bei that is finding time to drink water pū spurted the water! 正抽空喝口水的王蓓噗地把水喷出来了！ Ah Qian that front sits was spurted the shoes by the water, no matter he actually, one's own pats the leg to laugh! 前面坐着的阿千被水喷到了鞋子,他却不管,自己拍着腿大笑！ Is the Chinese character your? 汉字是你们的？ Is writing printing your? 文字印刷是你们的？ Is Dragon Boat Festival also your? 端午节也是你们的？ Zhang Ye their 108 dishes with our same words, in people eyes show incisively the Republic of Korea this nationality's despicable image! 张烨一句他们108道菜跟我们一样的话,把韩国这个民族在国人眼中的卑劣形象展现得淋漓尽致啊！ „In carrying this pile, after finally pressed salted duck pony roll chicken, they must add on one.” Zhang Ye raises the hand to gesticulate, „be continuous in 5000 original creation of traditional good food pickled vegetable Rep. of Korea will think of the meter from Changbai Mountains to the Bohai Bay 3000 Lijiangshan unceasingly!” “在背完这一堆,最后板鸭筒子鸡之后,他们还要加上一个。”张烨举起手比划着,“从长白山到渤海湾3000里江山绵延5000年不断大韩民国之独创传统美食泡菜思密达！” „Hahahaha!” “哈哈哈哈！” ! 啪啪啪！ The applause resounds in the laughter sound! 掌声在爆笑声中响起！ Zhang Ye just ended, next came, „actually to the name of food, each place is different, for example the wonton, called the wonton in the north, called dragon won ton to Sichuan ‚’, right?” Looks to the audience, „, if to Republic of Korea you knows that what called?” 张烨一段刚完,下一段又来了,“其实对食物的称呼啊,每个地方都是不一样的,比如馄饨,在北方就叫馄饨,到四川就叫‘龙抄手’,对吧？”看向台下观众,“如果到韩国你们知道叫什么吗？” „To Republic of Korea?” “到韩国？” „Does not know.” “不知道。” „What called?” “叫什么啊？” The audiences asked curiously. 观众们好奇发问。 Zhang Ye lifts the hand, made to say with just now the same hand signal exaggeration gesture: „Be continuous in 5000 original creation of traditional good food wonton Rep. of Korea thinks of the meter from Changbai Mountains to the Bohai Bay 3000 Lijiangshan unceasingly!” 张烨一抬手,做了个跟方才一样的手势夸张地比划道:“从长白山到渤海湾3000里江山绵延5000年不断大韩民国之独创传统美食馄饨思密达！” When Zhang Ye just said „from Changbai Mountains” several characters, the audience understands that he must say anything, starts Ha Ha to laugh wildly from here! 在张烨刚说“从长白山”几个字的时候,观众就明白他要说什么了,从这里就开始哈哈狂笑起来！ „Whoops!” “哎呦！” „Hahahaha!” “哈哈哈哈！” „Lets my resting meeting! I smiled!” “让我歇会吧！我笑得不行了！” The audiences double with laughter, somewhat smiles a lowland to squat on the ground covers the belly to smile! 观众们一个个前仰后合,有些笑点低地都蹲在地上捂着肚子笑呢！ Finally Zhang Ye does not prepare to the opportunity that everybody rests, looks that several are rubbing the tears audience, the next piece came, „spoke of the Republic of Korea good food, actually here I must give everybody to spread a knowledge.” Sees some people to smile, Zhang Ye waves the hand saying: „It is not the joke, is really a knowledge.” 结果张烨根本就不准备给大家休息的机会,看着好几个都在擦眼泪的观众,下一个段子又来了,“说到韩国美食呢,其实在这里我要给大家普及一个知识啊。”见有人要笑,张烨摇手道:“不是笑话,真的是个知识。” The people calm down to listen. 众人都静下来听。 Some blink, some are curious. 有的眨眼,有的好奇。 Zhang Ye looks at the big family fortune: „Truly speaking, I am not really able to understand why the Republic of Korea person likes eating the pickled vegetable, although I also like eating, right, the taste also the acid is clearly sweet and spicy, um, what is most important is cheap, is this kind of thing, but they cannot leave, no matter they will eat anything to eat the pickled vegetable, therefore before my here will urge the television, and will present all people, if can not eat the pickled vegetable try not to eat, because the food of souse will be is carcinogenic!” 张烨看着大家道:“说实在的,我实在无法理解为什么韩国人那么喜欢吃泡菜,虽然我也喜欢吃,对吧,口感清脆又酸又甜又辣,嗯,最重要的是便宜,就是这样一个东西,但是他们顿顿离不了,他们不管吃什么都会吃泡菜,所以我在这里劝电视机前和在场所有人,如果能不吃泡菜就尽量不要吃,因为腌制的食品都是致癌的！” Carcinogenicity? 致癌？ Truly, this has scientific basis actually! 确实,这倒是有科学根据的！ The audiences think that is really the knowledge popular science, earnestly is listening. 观众们以为真的是知识科普,都认真听着。 However under Zhang Ye said: „Um, why this is we, when watches the Korean drama, two people just in the same place...... Before long a person will have on the incurable illness!” 然而张烨下面就说道:“嗯,这就是为什么我们在看韩剧的时候,两个人刚在一起……过不了多久一个人就会得上绝症！” After speaking of here audience to stay, started to laugh loudly! 说到这里观众一呆后,已经开始捧腹大笑了！ Zhang Ye stared at scene to refer to pointing out: „You think that is plot dog blood? No! Is the pickled vegetable!” 张烨盯着镜头指了指道:“你们以为是剧情狗血？不！是泡菜！” Finally this „is pickled vegetable” comes out, the audience has smiled to turn! 最后这句“是泡菜”一出来,全场已经笑翻了！ Many people smile while call! The applause submerged once again entire has recorded and broadcast hall! 好多人一边笑一边叫！掌声又一次淹没了整个录播厅！ ...... …… At this moment. 此刻。 In the network looked live broadcast also smiled upside-down one piece! 网络上看直播的也笑倒了一片！ „Teacher Zhang Ye too fucking awesome!” “张烨老师太牛-逼了啊！” „I have known Teacher Zhang fucking awesome! Has not thought of his such fucking awesome!” “我一直知道张老师牛-逼啊！可没想到他这么牛-逼！” „Hahahaha! Crisp! Scolded was too crisp! Today's Zhang Ye must be blessed by God!” “哈哈哈哈！爽啊！骂的太爽了啊！今天的张烨有如神助啊！” „Satisfies a craving! I am scolded brainless fan, did not know that Zhang Ye this person, I go! Today knows that is my ignorant and inexperienced! Does Domestic have such coquettish Celebrity unexpectedly? So is attractive and vents spleen and entertainment program of comedy? Zhang Ye! I start now am your fans!” “过瘾啊！本来我就是来骂脑残粉的,都不认识张烨这个人,我去！今天才知道是我孤陋寡闻啊！国内居然还有这么风骚的明星？还有这么好看、解气和搞笑的娱乐节目？张烨！我现在开始是你粉丝了！” „Whoops really your mother teases!” “哎呦真你妈逗啊！” „Is this must do the Republic of Korea special performance?” “这是要搞韩国专场吗？” „Scolded the club from beginning to end? Too crisp!” “从头到尾都是骂棒子的？太爽了！” „Has not seemed like so happy today crosses!” “从没有像今天这么心情舒畅过啊！” „Zhang Ye this opens mouth, was his mother goes against heaven's will, you had a look, a moment ago also that many club foreign students and brainless fan cursed at people, now is scolded by Teacher Zhang Ye runs!” “张烨这张嘴啊,是他妈逆天了啊,你们看看,刚才还那么多棒子留学生和脑残粉过来骂人呢,现在都被张烨老师骂跑了啊！” „In the Teacher Zhang brain will have these many things? He is not today has the conflict with that Li Puyu? In the evening was live broadcast, temporarily writes script without enough time, how these classical pieces followed not to ask for money to resemble one after another! Teacher Zhang Ye this literary talent really certainly!” “张老师脑子里怎么会有这么多东西啊？他不是今天白天才和那个李朴宇起冲突的吗？晚上就是直播了,临时写稿子来不及啊,这些经典段子怎么跟不要钱似的一个接一个啊！张烨老师这文采真绝了！” Literary talent? 文采？ This needs the nonsense actually the literary talent! 这其实需要狗屁的文采啊！ Scolded the piece of club? Zhang Ye can say that three days three nights do not have the identical style! 骂棒子的段子？张烨能说三天三夜不带重样的！ In Zhang Ye that world, regardless of Crosstalk is also good, the Talkshow column is also good, these years have done four matters. 在张烨那个世界,无论相声也好,脱口秀栏目也好,这些年来就干了四件事。 First, scolded the club. 一,骂棒子。 Second, scolded small Japan. 二,骂小日本。 Third, scolded American. 三,骂老美。 Four...... Continues to scold the club!( 四……继续骂棒子！( …… ……