Zero countdown. 零点倒计时。 Also remains for 15 minutes. 还剩15分钟。 ...... …… Main control room. 主控室。 Zhang Ye sits there directs fast. 张烨坐在那里快速指挥。 „No. 2 machine cuts!” “2号机切过来！” „Yes.” “是。” „The western side light area is darker!” “西侧灯区暗一些！” „Good.” “好。” „Insufficient, is dark.” “不够,再暗。” „Yes.” “明白。” „No. 5 machine, a while pays attention to near scene!” “5号机,一会儿注意近镜头！” „Good Leader Zhang.” “好的张导。” Side, two make-up artists are giving Zhang Ye to make up the makeup, at this moment, the Zhang Ye image is unsophisticated, a simple dark blue appearance, but also brought a hat. 旁边,两个化妆师在给张烨补妆,此刻,张烨的形象非常土,一身朴素的暗蓝色打扮,还带了个帽子。 Ha Qiqi runs, „whoops, Leader Zhang, how you have not waited on stage, immediately immediately!” 哈齐齐跑进来,“哎呦,张导,您怎么还没候场啊,马上了马上了！” „Came.” Zhang Ye does not feel relieved has directed several. “来了。”张烨又不放心的指挥了几下。 Ha Qiqi said hastily: „Here has me, you feel relieved.” 哈齐齐连忙道:“这儿有我呢,您放心吧。” The Zhang Ye injunction said: „Ok, Old Ha, pays attention to the seat angle.” 张烨嘱咐道:“行,老哈,注意机位角度啊。” Ha Qiqi said: „Good all various professions, I reminded them, you hurried, Teacher Yao and Teacher Shanshan have prepared, you!” 哈齐齐道:“行行行,我提醒他们,您赶紧过去吧,姚老师和杉杉老师都已经准备好了,都等您了！” Zhang Ye said: „Knew.” 张烨道:“知道了。” ...... …… Backstage. 后台。 The Spring Festival work team leadership is inspecting everywhere, exhorts the staff to want earnestly careful, immediately on zero point, more was this time more must be ready in full battle array. 春晚工作组的领导正在到处视察,嘱咐工作人员要认真仔细,马上就零点了,越是这个时候越得严阵以待。 Gets to a workshop entrance time, inside passes on Voice that call regards. 走到一处工作间门口的时候,里面传来电视的声音。 „Does this room have the person?” “这屋有人？” „Who in inside?” “谁在里面呢？” „This looks at Spring Festival?” “这是看春晚呢？” Several leaders frown, a person pushes the door to enter. 几个领导蹙眉,一人推门就要进。 Staff of distant place Director group looked, busy [say / way]: „Leadership, no, inside is” 远处一个导演组的工作人员看了,忙道:“领导,别,里面是” Is who? 是谁啊？ Is everyone is not good! 是谁也不行啊！ Does everybody work some people also loaf? 大家都工作呢还有人偷懒？ Finally the gate shoves open, the leaders of several work teams were shocked! 结果门一推开,几个工作组的领导都愣住了！ In not the big room, on a small television is putting Spring Festival live broadcast impressively, a woman of causing the downfall of the nation beautiful woman sits before the television, unexpectedly is Wu Zeqing. 不大的房间里,一台小电视上赫然放着春晚的直播,一个倾国倾城的女人坐在电视前,居然是吴则卿。 „Whoops!” “哎呦！” „Director Wu?” “吴局？” „You how in?” “您怎么在呢？” „Director Wu?” “吴局？” Several leaders is a little ignorant. 几个领导有点懵。 The Wu Zeqing side first one looks, smiles, „Old He, Old Wang, you.” 吴则卿侧头一看,笑笑,“老何,老王,你们啊。” A leadership said: „Was your this inspection works?” 一领导道:“您这是视察工作来了？” Wu Zeqing shook the head, „does not have.” 吴则卿摇了摇头,“没有。” Another leader strange [say / way]: „You continuously here? Hi, early knows that I make person set aside an office to you specially, this year haven't 30 sons, how you gone home to celebrate the new year?” 另一个领导奇道:“您一直在这边呢啊？嗨,早知道我让人专门给您腾出一间办公室啊,这年30儿的,您怎么没回家过年啊？” Wu Zeqing has smiled, „he he, my lover is busy here, I go home not to have the meaning, where my lover, I naturally where celebrated the new year.” Saying, beckons with the hand saying: „Was good, I did not tell you, my spouse's program must come out.” 吴则卿笑了一下,“呵呵,我爱人还在这边忙呢,我回家也没意思,我爱人在哪儿,我自然就在哪儿过年了。”说着,摆手道:“行了,我可不跟你们说了啊,我爱人的节目要出来了。” hear word, several leaders are very sigh with emotion. 闻言,几个领导都很感慨。 Leader Zhang manages Spring Festival. 张导操持春晚。 Director Wu stays up late to accompany. 吴局熬夜陪着。 Has a look at others this husband and wife sentiments! 看看人家这夫妻感情！ ...... …… On television. 电视上。 Host has strung together the field was similar. 主持人已经串场的差不多了。 Finally to next to last act program go on stage time! 终于到了压轴节目登场的时候了！ The Yan Mei clear and resonant voice said with a smile: „I saw a pair of young couple in behind a moment ago, takes a walking stick not to know to do, do we have a look together?” 闫梅朗声笑道:“我刚才在后面看见一对儿小两口,拿着个拐杖也不知道干什么呢,咱们一起去看看？” The captions come out. 字幕出来。 Sketch «Sales Swindling(crutch)». 小品《卖拐》。 Script: Zhang Ye. 剧本:张烨。 Performers: Zhang Ye, Dong Shanshan, Yao Jiancai. 表演者:张烨,董杉杉,姚建才。 ...... …… Online. 网上。 „!” “哇！” „Really!” “果然啊！” „Shit is really the Zhang Ye next to last act!” “我靠真是张烨压轴！” „Fierce my brother! This big guts!” “厉害了我的哥！这得多大胆量啊！” „This can Sketch be able to suppress?” “这小品能压得住吗？” „Sales Swindling(crutch)? Is listening generally.” “卖拐？听着一般啊。” ...... …… Grandma. 姥姥家。 Grandfather said inspired: „Came!” 姥爷振奋道:“来了！” The aunt called out: „Is the Little Ye one's own next to last act!” 二舅妈叫道:“是小烨自己压轴啊！” Three younger sisters wished one could to lie in front of the television, „my brother must come out!” 三妹妹恨不得趴在电视机前了,“我哥要出来了！” Big younger sister angrily said: „Mengmeng, do not keep off television!” 大妹妹气道:“萌萌,你别挡电视啊！” Two younger sisters shout: „Too anticipated! My brother keep it up!” 二妹妹喊道:“太期待了！我哥加油！” Mother did Father also wink has observed closely the screen, was somewhat anxious! 老妈老爸也一眨不眨地盯住了屏幕,有些紧张！ ...... …… Some telephone conversation. 某通话。 „Hello, Old Sun!” “喂,老孙！” „Li big sister, the new year's celebration is good.” “李大姐,过年好啊。” „Looks at Spring Festival?” “看春晚呢吗？” „, Has not looked.” “呃,没看。” „Looked quickly that Zhang Ye came up!” “快看,张烨上来了！” „Finally arrived at him? Well!” “终于到他了？好好！” ...... …… Some household. 某户。 „Is Zhang Ye!” “是张烨！” „aunt, plays a card.” “大姨,出牌啊。” „Does not play, first does not play.” “不玩了,先不玩了。” „Does?” “干嘛啊？” „Looks at next to last act Sketch.” “看完压轴小品的。” „Oh, plays cards while looks.” “哎呀,一边打牌一边看啊。” „Next to last act Sketch must result in looked earnestly, cannot attend to playing cards.” “压轴小品必须得认真看啊,顾不上打牌啦。” „Good, that looks together.” “好吧,那一起看。” ...... …… Crosstalk. 相声界。 „I must have a look at Zhang Ye to be able but actually to perform anything to come.” “我倒要看看张烨能演出什么来。” „His previous that Sketch, but disputed that is very big.” “他上次那小品,可是争议很大的。” „Table tennis that? He He, he is ill joint performance Sketch, I also think Spring Festival that his first on one's own directs, must say Crosstalk.” “乒乓球那个吧？呵呵,他还是不适合演小品,我还以为他第一次上自己执导的春晚,得说相声呢。” „Gives back to one's own to make next to last act program?” “还给自己弄个压轴节目？” „Yes, he did not fear that dodged the waist.” “是啊,他也不怕闪了腰。” „This year Spring Festival I also acknowledged that truly splendid peerless, but this next to last act program importance who doesn't know? Do not make his finally this all of a sudden discouraged, that entire stage Spring Festival ended! The front excellent situation, must by this Sketch making lacking self-confidence of!” “今年春晚我也承认,确实精彩绝伦,但这压轴节目的重要性谁不知道？别让他最后这一下子泄了气,那整台春晚就完了！前面的大好局面啊,都得被他这一个小品给弄的没了底哦！” „How looks at his ending.” “看他怎么收官吧。” „Definitely cannot compare front several Sketch.” “肯定比不上前面几个小品。” ...... …… Before the increasing number of people returned to television! 越来越多的人回到了电视机前！ Outside more and more Domestic the Chinese turns on the television! 越来越多的国内外华人打开电视机！ Reception population at this moment did not have means to count! 此时此刻的收视人数已经没办法统计了！ Three hundred million! 三个亿！ Five hundred million! 五个亿！ Six hundred million! 六个亿！ The staff who is responsible for the statistics have been scared at this time, several staff look the data that dull the machine collects showed that is a little scared! 负责统计数据的工作人员此时都已经吓呆了,几个工作人员呆呆地看着机器收集来的数据显示,有点傻眼！ World Chinese before waiting for Zhang Ye zero point final next to last act performance! 全世界华人都在等着张烨零点前最后的压轴演出！ They anticipate a pleasant surprise! 他们期待一个惊喜！ Anticipates a final ignition! 期待一个最后的点燃！ ...... …… On television. 电视上。 Picture switching. 画面切换。 Zhang Ye and Dong Shanshan have stood on the stage, the surroundings background is very common, likely on street, bench. Especially their attire appearance make all audiences look at one dull, this clearly is the rural image, Zhang Ye appearance earth of , Dong Shanshan is so, a small red lined jacket, but also is wrapping a kerchief, on the face also played the role by intentionally ugly! 张烨和董杉杉已经站在了台上,周围布景都很寻常,像是在街上,还有个长椅。尤其俩人的衣着打扮让所有观众看得一呆,这分明是农村形象,张烨打扮的很土,董杉杉更是如此,一身小红袄,还包着个头巾,脸上还被故意扮丑了！ Pū! 噗！ This what image? 这什么形象啊？ This what dresses up? 这什么打扮啊？ Dong Shanshan called him: „Hey, Great Swindler! Great Swindler!” 董杉杉叫他:“嘿,大忽悠！大忽悠！” Zhang Ye is carrying a walking stick, joins hands behind the back to take a stroll walks, hear word turns head at a moderate pace: „What Great Swindler shouted, today comes out to sell this gadget, don't ask me the stage name to be good?” 张烨拎着一副拐杖,背着手溜溜达达地走,闻言不紧不慢地一回头:“喊什么大忽悠,今儿出来卖这玩意儿,别叫我艺名行不行？” Audiences: 观众: „Great Swindler?” “大忽悠？” „Stage name?” “艺名？” „Hahahaha!” “哈哈哈哈！” But Dong Shanshan said: „Kid's dad.” 董杉杉无奈道:“孩儿他爸。” Zhang Ye: „Em.” 张烨:“恩。” Dong Shanshan smacks the lips saying: „Wanted me saying that this turned do not sell, this full avenue was the leg and foot is good, who bought your gadget?” 董杉杉咂嘴道:“要我说这个拐就别卖啦,这满大街都是腿脚好的,谁买你那玩意儿啊？” Zhang Ye curls the lip saying: „You rubbish, doesn't sell? Makes this to turn works and builds the material, a day has not slept, doesn't sell does not compensate?” 张烨一撇嘴道:“你废话,不卖了？做这副拐又搭工又搭料,一天一宿没睡觉,不卖不赔了么？” Dong Shanshan: „Oh, that this full avenue is the leg and foot is good, can sell!” 董杉杉:“哎呀,那这满大街都是腿脚好的,能卖出去吗！” Zhang Ye shows a faint smile, „haven't you understood me? Also manages me to call Great Swindler. I can flickering, be able to joke listless flickering slantingly, can pinch sharp flickering, good that the young couple crosses, I can coax to distinguish to him! Today Sales Swindling(crutch), a pair of good leg I to coax to him lamely!” 张烨微微一笑,“你还不了解我吗？还管我叫大忽悠呢。我能把正的忽悠斜了,能把蔫的忽悠谑了,能把尖的忽悠捏了,小两口过的挺好,我能给他忽悠分别了！今天卖拐,一双好腿我能给他忽悠瘸了！” Audiences: „Pū!” 观众:“噗！” Originally is cheats! 原来是坑人啊！ Flickered lamely? 忽悠瘸了？ How you coax you! 你怎么忽悠啊你！ This beginning, has slung the curiosity of audience all of a sudden! 这个开场,一下子吊起了观众的好奇心！ Dong Shanshan: „Ha Ha, you may knock it off!” 董杉杉:“哈哈,你可拉倒吧！” Zhang Ye: „Believes?” 张烨:“信不信？” Dong Shanshan curls the lip: „Didn't I believe others legs well you to the person to coax lamely?” 董杉杉撇嘴:“我就不信人家好好的腿你就能给人忽悠瘸了？” Zhang Ye: „You look, this is my strong point.” 张烨:“你看吧,这就是我强项。” Dong Shanshan has cast aside a lower jaw, said with a smile: „ I have not known that your strong point, my kid's dad may be interesting, heard that others buy person that to sell the car(riage) sets immediately, heard that others buy on the motor that to sell the safety helmet, heard that the person loses sleep that others to sell the sleeping pill, hears others 董杉杉撇了一下嘴,笑道:“我还不知道你那强项,我孩他爸可有意思了,听说人家买马上人那卖车套,听说人家买摩托上那卖安全帽,听说人失眠上那人家卖安眠药,听说人家 Zhang Ye beckons with the hand: „Let alone, this called market, pays special attention to the lead!” 张烨一摆手:“别说了,这叫市场,抓好提前量！” Dong Shanshan he he said: „Your that lead also has dozen of faults time!” 董杉杉呵呵道:“你那提前量也有打失误的时候！” Zhang Ye lets go: „This turned to hit to make a mistake.” 张烨一摊手:“这拐打失误了。” Dong Shanshan pouts saying: „Heard that occlusion opened the four wheeler to pound the leg, was corruptly black the morning to make this turning, finally others pounded heavily, after being out of hospital, sat the wheelchair directly, this turned not to sell.” 董杉杉努嘴道:“听说锁柱子开四轮车把腿砸了,贪黑起早做这副拐,结果人家砸重了,出院以后直接坐轮椅了,这拐没卖出去。” Wheelchair? 轮椅？ Audiences: „Hahahaha!” 观众:“哈哈哈哈！” Zhang Ye snort|hum: „Do not worry, today I kidnap and sell this.” 张烨哼了一声:“别着急,今天我就把这副拐卖出去。” Dong Shanshan: „This full avenue is leg and foot is good, who sells?” 董杉杉:“这满大街都是腿脚好的,谁卖呀？” Zhang Ye joins hands behind the back: „Wife, we look for a leg and foot today specially well sold to him, has a look at my Great Swindler ability.” 张烨一背手:“媳妇儿,今儿个咱们专门找个腿脚好的卖给他,看看我大忽悠的能力。” Dong Shanshan: „Isn't your this deceives people?” 董杉杉:“你这不是骗人么？” Zhang Ye smiles: „Hoping does swallow the bait, understands? Helps me shout two.” 张烨嘿嘿一笑:“愿者上钩,懂么？帮我喊两句。” Dong Shanshan: „I will not flicker.” 董杉杉:“我不会忽悠。” Zhang Ye: „Looked that my meaningful glance handles affairs, very? Yeah, came the person, shouted!” 张烨:“看我眼色行事,好不？哎,来人了,喊！” At this time, Yao Jiancai go on stage! 这个时候,姚建才登场了！ A cloddish appearance, rode the bicycle to pass by. 一身土里土气的打扮,骑着自行车路过。 The Dong Shanshan non- sentiment hope did not say loudly: „, Turned, turned, turned!” 董杉杉不情不愿地大声道:“啊,拐了啊,拐啦,拐了啊！” Yao Jiancai holds the steering handle to be getting more and more crooked, „.” 姚建才扶着车把越来越歪,“诶,诶。” Audiences: „Hahahahaha!” 观众:“哈哈哈哈哈！” „Turns, turns! Turns!” Dong Shanshan is inserting the sleeve tastes. “拐啦,拐啦！拐啦！”董杉杉插着袖口道。 The Yao Jiancai car(riage) stops: „, I said that what you do issue arbitrary and confused orders you? Which you do you know me to want on to make me turn you?” 姚建才车一停:“诶诶诶,我说你瞎指挥啥呀你啊？你知道我要上哪儿你就让我拐呀你？” Audiences: „Hahahaha!” 观众:“哈哈哈哈！” Zhang Ye reminded in the one side: „Auctions.” 张烨在一旁提醒:“喊卖。” Dong Shanshan shouts: „Sells! Sells!” 董杉杉喊道:“卖啊！卖！” Zhang Ye angrily said: „What sells?” 张烨气道:“卖什么呀？” Dong Shanshan: „Turns.” 董杉杉:“拐。” Zhang Ye: „Is connected including the above.” 张烨:“连上。” Dong Shanshan then loudly said: „Kidnapped and sold! Kidnapped and sold!” 董杉杉便大声道:“拐卖了啊！拐卖了！” ...... …… This saying, many audiences one spurted! 这话一出,很多观众一下就喷了！ „Kidnaps and sells?” “拐卖？” „Hahahahaha!” “哈哈哈哈哈！” „Whoops smiled!” “哎呦笑死了！” „Hahahahaha!” “哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！” „This Teacher Shanshan too can do!” “这杉杉老师太能搞了啊！” „Develops really well!” “演得真好啊！” „This next to last act program, is probably good!” “这压轴节目,好像不错啊！” „Which to, just a beginning, the thing that revealed were not then many, was Sketch good, must settle on the segmentum posterius.” “这才哪儿到哪儿啊,刚一个开场,露出来的东西还不多呢,小品好不好,都得看中后段。” ...... …… At this time. 此时。 Backstage. 后台。 Ha Qiqi. 哈齐齐。 Zhang Zuo. 张左。 Little Wang. 小王。 The person of Director group. 导演组的人。 Work team leadership. 工作组的领导。 The people stubbornly were also staring at the screen at this time, some people of foreheads sweat, some people of tight hands and feet are icy cold, some people of hearts mentioned the throat, probably is wanting more anxious than and anxious in the Zhang Ye three people who on the stage performs. Does not have the means that was this next to last act program is too important! 众人这时候也都在死死盯着屏幕,有人脑门冒汗,有人紧张的手脚冰凉,有人心脏都提到了嗓子眼,好像比正在台上表演的张烨三个人都要紧张和焦急。没办法,实在是这压轴节目太重要了！ They prayed silently: Must become! Must become! 他们心里默默祈祷:一定要成啊！一定要成啊！ Leader Zhang! 张导！ Teacher Yao! 姚老师！ Teacher Shanshan! 杉杉老师！ Looked your! 看你们的了！ Spring Festival is becomes is the defeat, one wrestled in this! 春晚是成是败,就在此一搏了！