Compared with other diaries, this diary simply with new is the same, looks at Adele also very much to cherish these memories, after so many years, these diaries preserved unusual is good. 和其它的日记比起来,这本日记简直就和新的一样,看得出来阿黛尔也很爱护这些记忆,经过这么多年,这些日记被保存的非常好。 Opens p. 1, above date one year ago, this was the last diary in Adele life, it moved toward the end point along with Adele. 翻开第一页,上面的日期就在一年前,这是阿黛尔人生中的最后一本日记了,它伴随着阿黛尔走向了终点。 After entering into the later years, Adele had no energy to keep a diary obviously again, she basically was separates for several days to record one time, the life became is also monotonous and tranquil. 迈入暮年后,阿黛尔显然没有什么精力再写日记了,她基本是隔几天才记录一次,生活也变得单调与平静。 „I realized suddenly, such monotonous life has repeated good one, does not have any fluctuating, like the tranquil sea level, was quiet, until dying.” “我突然意识到,这样单调的生活已经重复了好一阵,没有任何起伏,就像平静的海面,沉寂着、直到死去。” Adele wrote in the diary like this, her life lost the mood, gradual, life is more like barely managing to maintain a feeble existence. 阿黛尔在日记里这样写道,她的生活失去了情绪,逐渐的、生活更像是在苟延残喘。 „I thought that I like am waiting for death...... think am also, my such big age, this/should experience experienced, this/should doing also did, now should lie on the bed, awaited calmly the arrival of death to be right.” “我觉得我就像在等死……想想也是,我都这么大岁数了,该经历的都经历了,该做的也都做了,现在就应该躺在床上,静候死亡的到来才对。” When writes about these pages, Adele often raised the death, but Rogge from above di writing, has not been afraid, instead was a feeling relaxed feeling. 写到这几页时,阿黛尔时常提起死亡,但伯洛戈从其上旳文字里,并没有感到恐惧,反而是一种释然感。 Adele like the famous soldier, she fired off this happy weaponry, was the time makes the death carefully examine to judge her life. 阿黛尔就像名战士,她打完了这美好的仗,是时候让死亡来审视评断她的一生了。 „ Sometimes I pondered will, actually I how turn into this appearance? “我有时候常会思考,我究竟是怎么变成这个样子的呢？ The life marvelous place lies in this, you immerse in, knows nothing about, when you have turned head, you faint from fear discovered, you had turned into another person. ” 生活的奇妙之处就在于此,你沉浸其中,浑然不知,当你回过头时,你才惊觉地发现,你已经变成了另一个人。” Even old, Adele's handwriting is still neat, her train of thought is clear, not chaotic. 即使年老,阿黛尔的字迹依旧工整,她的思绪清晰,不曾混乱。 „ I think that this stems from my parents probably, now I could not have recalled their appearances, what is strange, I still remembered that last. “我想这大概源于我的父母,如今我已经记不起他们的模样了,但奇怪的是,我仍记得那最后一幕。 I remember that the doctor pulls up the bed curtain, dim white muslin separates us, I can only notice that their by the rickets form that the pain suffers, they sob while to I apologize. 我记得医生拉起床帘,朦胧的白纱将我们隔开,我只能看到他们那被病痛折磨的佝偻身影,他们一边哭泣一边对我道歉。 I do not understand why at that time they must sob, does not understand why must to I apologize, but is quick, they passed away. 我当时不明白他们为什么要哭泣,也不明白为什么要对我道歉,但很快,他们都去世了。 I was probably clear. 我好像明白了。 My repugnant misery, is hating the misery, but I am incapable of preventing the misery, but I think that I can help others, helping them go out from the misery. 我讨厌苦难,也憎恨着苦难,但我无力阻止苦难,但我想我能帮到其他人,帮他们从苦难之中走出。 Just like these nuns help my such, they often said that I eat the child who the holy communion is growing up, I was being blessed by the god, but I should also give the blessing dissemination by misery others. ” 正如那些修女帮助我那样,她们常说我是吃着圣餐长大的孩子,我是被神祝福着的,而我也理应将祝福散播给饱受苦难的他人。” She has not suspected herself, Adele confused, present she in the end point of life, has not reviewed this lifetime legend from the beginning. 她没有怀疑过自己,阿黛尔从一开始就不曾迷茫,现在的她只是在人生的终点,去回顾她这一生的传奇而已。 „ I do the matter that I want to do, becomes person who I want to become, I had many children, they will also transmit my blessing. “我做了我想做的事,成为了我想成为的人,我有了很多的孩子,他们也会将我的祝福传递下去。 I think that I am happy. ” 我想我是幸福的。” After this page, Adele in has not kept a diary for a long time again, she really prepared to greet dead evidently, these words were only in her life the final confession. 这一页后,阿黛尔很长时间里都没有再写日记,她看样子真的准备迎接死亡了,这些话只是她人生中最后的告解。 In such sentence, takes the ending for this long autobiography, Rogge feels but actually also good. 以这样的语句,为她这漫长的自传作为结尾,伯洛戈觉得倒也不错。 He continues to turn the page, according to the date, Adele will take pen in hand in a month, wrote down the new page. 他继续翻页,根据日期来看,过了一个月阿黛尔重新提笔,写下了新的一页。 „God, you cannot believe absolutely, I ran into anyone.” “神啊,你绝对不敢相信,我遇到了谁。” Adele's writing presented out-of-control rarely, the handwriting like having the soul, is screaming on the paper. 阿黛尔的文字罕见出现了失控,字迹就像有灵魂了般,在纸张上尖叫着。 „ I saw him, Rogge Lazarus, when I see him for the last time such. “我见到了他,伯洛戈・拉撒路,正如我最后一次见到他时的那样。 God, actually am I thinking what, all these what's the matter? I...... I also brought back to the family/home him. ” 天啊,我究竟在想什么,这一切到底是怎么回事？我……我还把他带回了家。” Flash Adele was also probably young, stands opposite of Rogge, her both hands hold to squat in the corner, is loudly worried. 一瞬间阿黛尔好像又年轻了起来,就站在伯洛戈对面,她双手抱头蹲在墙角,大声苦恼着。 Rogge's expression is somewhat complex, the corners of the mouth cannot bear show the happy expression, finally smiles to make noise. 伯洛戈的表情有些复杂,嘴角忍不住地露出笑意,最后笑出了声。 After leaving prison , when with Adele meets, Rogge's mood is disturbed, the impact that for fear that oneself bring can scare this old woman, finally she accepted unexpectedly confidently. 出狱后和阿黛尔见面时,伯洛戈的心情忐忑极了,生怕自己带来的冲击会吓坏这个老太太,结果她居然就这么坦然地接受了。 Rogge thinks that is the status of follower, letting Adele can admit everyone calmly, at that time he also deeply felt the awe about such Adele, in fact was only this fellow was too old, nerve slow could not do the expression. 伯洛戈本以为是信徒的身份,让阿黛尔能从容地接纳每个人,当时他还对这样的阿黛尔深感敬畏,实际上只是这个家伙太老了,神经迟钝的连表情都做不出来。 The frequency that in the following day, Adele keeps a diary were many, did not raise anything dead and peaceful, instead was some at sixes and sevens matters. 接下来的日子里,阿黛尔写日记的频率多了起来,也不提什么死亡与安宁,反而是一些乱七八糟的事。 Oneself like the sheatfish, sneaked in the sardine group , to continue the mighty waves that Adele's life stirs, broke this to fill the tranquility of dead intent. 自己就像个鲶鱼,钻进了沙丁鱼群中,把阿黛尔的生活搅的波涛不止,也打破了这充满死意的平静。 „Dear Rogge Lazarus.” “亲爱的伯洛戈・拉撒路。” Suddenly, this page of names that takes Rogge for opening, probably this no longer is the diary, but gives a Rogge's letter/believes. 突然,这一页以伯洛戈的名字为开头,好像这不再是日记,而是给伯洛戈的一封信。 „If you see, this is my life of Adele Weyland.” “如你所见,这便是我阿黛尔・多维兰的一生。” Some strange feeling well ups, Rogge does not talk clearly this feeling, he wants to turn away, but this writing like having the charm, fettered his line of sight firmly, keeping him from evading. 某种奇异的感觉涌上心头,伯洛戈也说不清这种感觉,他想移开视线,但这文字就像有魔力般,牢牢地束缚住了他的视线,让他无从逃避。 „ Here, I show all my to you. “在这里,我向你展现我的所有。 Good, indifferent, benevolence, numb, naive, free, sad Lian as well as that loving, all, all. ” 善良的、冷漠的、仁爱的、麻木的、天真的、自由的、悲怜的以及那充满爱的,所有的所有,一切的一切。” As if had the double gentle big hand to hold own head, he was incapable of struggling, can only shiver the vision, continued to look along the path of writing. 仿佛有双温柔的大手捧起了自己的脑袋,他无力挣扎,只能颤抖着目光,继续沿着文字的轨迹看下去。 „ Sometimes Rogge, I am thinking, what the nun said is real? They said that I have the holy communion to grow up, by the child who the god blessed, may recall all that I experienced, I thought I did not receive the blessing, sometimes this was more like the curse. “伯洛戈,有时候我在想,修女说的是真的吗？她们说我吃着圣餐长大,是被神祝福的孩子,可回想起我所经历的一切,我又觉得我并非受到了祝福,有时候这更像是诅咒。 I saw many misery, I exhaust pull out from the mire people full power, but I then noticed falls into the person in mire. 我看到了许许多多的苦难,我用尽全力将人们从泥沼中拉出,可紧接着我便看到更多陷入泥沼之中的人。 As if all that I make are the useless actions, how regardless of me diligently, I am not able to eradicate from this world the misery as before, when the night, I am not often able to go to sleep because of such pain, effort that but I make, is real, really has people saved by me. 仿佛我所做的一切都是无用之举,无论我怎么努力,我依旧无法将苦难从这个世界上根除,每到深夜,我常因这样的痛苦无法入眠,但我所做的努力,又是真真实实的,确实有一个又一个的人被我拯救。 During clamps is pacing back and forth, is suspended in midair. 夹在彷徨之中,不上不下。 , I no longer want that remote matter, I to place all energy gradually at present, person who helps these me be able to touch, they are my extending, even if I am incapable, or died, would some people continuing all these. ” 渐渐的,我不再想那么遥远的事了,我将所有的精力都放在了眼前,去帮助那些我能触及到的人,他们便是我的延伸,哪怕我无力,亦或是死去,总会有人将这一切继续下去。” Adele sits in Rogge's side, is telling to him in a soft voice, like reading aloud an ancient story. 阿黛尔坐在伯洛戈的身旁,对他轻声讲述着,就像在诵读一個古老的故事。 „ Rogge, I does the matter that I want to do, becomes person who my wants to become, I passed the happy life. “伯洛戈,我做了我想做的事,成为我的想成为的人,我度过了幸福的一生。 After this, I think that I prepared the arrival that greeted the death, lay on the bed confidently, closed one's eyes well satisfied, no longer anticipation next day arrival of sunlight. 在这之后,我想我准备好了迎接死亡的到来,坦然地躺在床上,心满意足地闭上眼,不再期待第二天阳光的降临。 But, I would waking up every day and every night, sometimes I will also complain why the god isn't willing to make me die? I am so old, the consciousness is murky, sometimes the skeleton is vulnerable, lives cannot take care of oneself. 可每一天、每一夜,我总会醒来,有时候我也会抱怨,神为什么不愿意让我死去呢？我已经这么老了,意识昏昏沉沉,骨骼脆弱不堪,有时候就连生活也不能自理。 Why I must continue the ascetic practices of this mortal world, rather than marches into the heaven? 为什么我还要继续这尘世的苦行,而不是步入天国呢？ I am often suspecting like this, until that day, when I knew you also living news, when I when Ou Bosi the street...... saw you. ” 我时常这样怀疑着,直到那一天,当我知道了你还活着的消息,当我在欧泊斯的街头……看到你时。” Adele's voice is pleasantly surprised, but is that gentle. 阿黛尔的声音又惊又喜,但还是那么的温柔。 „ I cannot believe my eye, as if years solidification and reversal, all when we distinguished initially such. “我不敢相信我的眼睛,仿佛岁月凝固、逆转,一切正如我们当初分别时的那样。 I see you to stand in the street confusedly, in the eye is completely exhausted and gloomy, as if has an evil will, exerted all misery on your body, it wants to twist your mental, turned into a bloodthirsty you monster. 我看见你迷茫地站在街头,眼里尽是疲惫与阴暗,似乎有个邪恶的意志,将所有的苦难施加在了你的身上,它想扭曲你的心智,将你变成一头嗜血的怪物。 But you experienced all these, without the compromise, wanders on the humane edge as before, but I know, you must unable to support, the abyss in your behind, will have the retreat to be then beyond redemption slightly. 可你经历了这一切,依旧没有妥协,徘徊在人性的边缘,但我知道,你要撑不住了,深渊就在你的身后,稍有后退便会万劫不复。 That flash I understood suddenly, Rogge. 那一瞬间我突然明白了,伯洛戈。 I understand why the god must make me so live distressedly now, I also realized, my life all tribulations and rough for this moment. 我明白神为什么要让我如此狼狈地活到现在,我也意识到,我这一生所有的磨难与坎坷都是为了这一刻。 For you. 为了你。 For the lamb of your wrong path, saves from the misery. ” 为了将你这只迷途的羔羊,从苦难中拯救。” Rogge looks at the writing on diary silent, an innermost feelings blank, probably all trains of thought were emptied, was only left over the delay and numbness. 伯洛戈沉默地看着日记上的文字,内心一片空白,好像所有的思绪都被清空了,只剩下了呆滞与麻木。 „ I thought that I like the teacher, I teach all that your I know, when I have nothing can teach you, is the time that your I distinguish. “我觉得我就像个老师,我教会你我知道的一切,当我没什么可以教你的时候,也就是你我分别的时刻。 There is nothing, the destiny of teacher was no longer needed by the student. 这没什么,老师的命运就是被学生不再需要。 I was not clear that you passed to have anything, that passed after all, you only need to focus on the present are good, but I can also feel, you certainly my live was longer, perhaps your fellow did not die. 我不清楚你过去发生了什么,那毕竟是过去了,你只需要着眼于现在就好,但我也能感觉出来,你一定比我活的更久,说不定你这家伙还是不死的。 ...... Really wants to ask you, these years you experience anything, but thinks to know, should be some discomforting matters. 啊……真想问问你,这些年你都经历些什么,但想想就知道,应该都是些令人难过的事吧。 Does not die...... 不死…… This sounds bad, time when my life span ends, I can enjoy that thorough peace finally, but like this peaceful does not exist to you, but fortunately, you can walk in this world, is you to do, hopes until all such as you. 这听起来蛮糟的,当我寿命终结的时刻,我终于能享受那彻底的安宁,而这样的安宁对你而言并不存在,但幸运的是,你能一直行走在这世间,做你想做的,直到一切如你所愿。 Therefore...... does the matter that you want to do, becomes person who you want to become. 所以……做你想做的事,成为你想成为的人。 Pledged the festival to be joyful, Rogge Lazarus. ” 誓言节快乐,伯洛戈・拉撒路。” Sees this last line of characters, Rogge understands why Lawson said this was the gift, this was Adele for the pledge festival gift that oneself prepared, but she had no way to give itself again personally. 看到这最后一行字,伯洛戈明白劳森为什么说这是礼物了,这是阿黛尔为自己准备的誓言节礼物,只是她再也没法亲手交给自己了。 Rogge turns the page flustered, the innermost feelings are praying unceasingly, he does not hope that this is the result of story, even if all long ago finished. 伯洛戈慌张地翻页,内心不断地祈祷着,他不希望这是故事的结局,哪怕一切在很久之前就结束了。 Turns to the next page, above has the date that Adele writes, is the pledge post-holiday second day, under the date also has one line of characters. 翻到下一页,上面有阿黛尔所写的日期,是誓言节后的第二天,日期下还有一行字。 „You blessed, was loved.” “你是受祝福的、被爱的。” This is Adele for the gift that Rogge prepares, diary that he continued. 这就是阿黛尔为伯洛戈准备的礼物,一本等他续写的日记。 Rogge put the one side the diary, looked that to woolen sweater that had not woven, strips off the coat, wears the woolen sweater on the body. 伯洛戈将日记放到了一旁,看向了那件没织完的毛衣,脱光上衣,将毛衣穿在身上。 Because without weaving, it only obstructed to Rogge's chest , the navel revealed completely, was joined to that colorful color, like the laughable crop top. 因为没织完,它只遮了到了伯洛戈的胸下,肚脐完全露了出来,配上那花花绿绿的颜色,就像个可笑的露脐装。 But Rogge cannot smile. 可伯洛戈笑不出来。 The whole body loses the strength, Rogge felt the bone of own whole body was drained, the warm feeling that the woolen sweater brings like burning down, is burning his body hot, the stake that making one remember hundred years ago executes the criminal. 浑身失去力气,伯洛戈感觉自己浑身的骨头都被人抽干了,毛衣带来的暖意就像火烧般,烫灼着他的身体,让人想起百年前处死犯人的火刑。 Rogge feels suddenly very sad, he thinks that at Adele's funeral, oneself are sad enough, but currently like having an unexpected blow, it penetrated the time and space, an arrow passed through own heart, nails tight on the wall. 突然间伯洛戈觉得很难过,他本以为在阿黛尔的葬礼上,自己已经够难过了,可现在就像有支冷箭,它穿透了时间与空间,一箭贯穿了自己的心脏,钉死在墙上。 Sea tide filled with grief embezzles Rogge. 海潮般的悲怆将伯洛戈吞没。