The breath of Annan becomes even more difficult, in the throat has the phlegm card. 安南的呼吸变得愈发艰难,喉咙中有痰卡着。 He cannot open the eye completely, exhausts also can only make the eyelid move full power slightly. 他完全睁不开眼睛,用尽全力也只能让眼皮微微动弹一下。 Annan felt that own whole body is completely the pain...... does not happen in one, but in whole body hypodermic, internal organs, skeleton is completely the ache. But luckily, his binding curse was still having the effect. 安南感觉到自己全身尽是痛苦……不是发生在某一处,而是在全身皮下、内脏中、骨骼中尽是疼痛。但幸好,他的咒缚仍然在起效。 This made this pain be weakened innumerable times- even if, however was weakened innumerable times, Annan can still the clear feeling this pain. 这让这份痛苦被削弱了无数倍-然而即使被削弱了无数倍,安南也能清晰的感受到这份痛苦。 Role that his binding curse can play, is to make Annan tranquiler. 他的咒缚所能起到的作用,就是让安南更平静一些罢了。 That is the unprecedented weak feeling...... 那是前所未有的虚弱感…… Let alone inquired and chats, Annan even launched in salvos the strength of calling out in grief not to have. The breath became is close dead each time feebly. 别说询问和聊天,安南甚至连发出悲鸣的力气都已经没有了。每次呼吸都变得更加衰弱、更接近死亡。 ...... So that's how it is. ……原来如此。 Is this of senile the feeling and dying of illness? 这就是衰老、病死的感觉吗？ If in the Annan heart has bright becoming aware. 安南心中若有明悟。 That does not exhale the final one breath suddenly, life that can terminate. 那并非是突然呼出最后一口气,就能够终止的人生。 But bit by bit died. It looks like flame that gradually extinguishes general...... 而是一点一点死去。就像是逐渐熄灭的火光一般…… Suddenly, Annan saw anything- 突然,安南看到了什么- That most earnest, grasps the middle-aged woman of hand...... is seeming like „” daughter's same person. Her body shone tall light suddenly. 那个最为热切的,握着自己手的中年女人……似乎是“自己”的女儿一样的人。她的身上突然亮起了高光。 Even if Annan does not need to open eyes, can still see her image. 即使安南无需睁眼,也能看到她的形象了。 (...... This time must finish finally, may toss about me. The old gentleman may be must breathe......) (……这次终于要结束了吗,可折腾死我了。老爷子可算是要咽气了……) As the left eye of Annan gives off heat slightly, the extremely light low sound of talking resounds in the Annan heart. 随着安南的左眼微微发热,极轻的低语声在安南心底响起。 ...... This is, 【Angel's Left Eye】? ……这是,【天使的左眼】？ Annan was startled the flash, responded. 安南怔了一瞬间,才反应过来。 The next quarter, that continuously the young woman who sobs in the corner, finally cried loudly. 下一刻,那个一直在角落里抽泣的年轻女人,终于大声的哭了出来。 That was endures to endure, when has not really borne stretched out from the throat boils up sobbed howlingly. 那是忍了又忍,实在没忍住时从喉咙伸出迸出的嚎泣。 That man of her side deeply sighed, hugged the woman in the bosom, is patting her shoulder silent comfort gently. 她身边的那个男人深深叹了口气,将女人抱在怀中、轻轻拍着她的肩膀无声的安慰着。 But at this time, on that young man also appeared the light suddenly. 而在这时,那个年轻男人身上也突然显出了光。 (...... Really is, might as well dies a bit faster. Jennie several days had not rested, this way her body can definitely unable to bear......) (……真是的,还不如快点死。珍妮都好几天没睡了,这样下去她的身体肯定会受不了的……) When the named Jennie's young girl wails, if there is an essence sad spreads in the room like the curse everywhere. 在名为珍妮的少女嚎啕大哭之时,如有实质的悲伤如诅咒般在房间内四处扩散。 Person who had not planned to cry, cannot bear somewhat sobs. 原本没打算哭的人,也忍不住有些哽咽。 In their eyes subconscious overflow tears, but they could not even detect in own eyes has shed tears. But person who bursts into tears, in the heart is not completely also sad. 他们眼中下意识溢出泪水,但他们甚至自己都察觉不到自己眼中流出过眼泪。而流泪的人,心中也不尽然是悲伤的。 In Annan own corner of the eye, could not bear is somewhat moist. 就在安南自己的眼角,也忍不住有些湿润了。 A middle-aged man stands suddenly, hangs down to focus and sob, cannot stretch out the hand that shivers, to take the handkerchief to clean the corner of the eye of Annan. 一个中年男人突然站起来,低垂着眼、抽泣着,伸出不住颤抖的手、拿着手帕擦拭着安南的眼角。 „Teacher......” “老师……” He uses some sounds of sobbing, in a low voice telling. 他用有些哽咽的声音,低声诉说着。 That grave mentality, no matter what who seems like is also sorrowful extremely. 那庄重的心态,任谁看起来也是悲痛万分。 But in the Annan eye, he was actually indicated by highlight suddenly: 但安南眼中,他却突然被高亮所标示: (...... Good, finally found the opportunity to express 【Filial piety】. The family member of teacher sees my sincerity now, later I use the reputation of teacher to go out sells the picture to make money, they for face-saving consideration, should not come out to expose me......) (……好,终于找到机会来表达【孝心】了。老师的家人现在看到了我的诚意,之后我用老师的名头出去卖画赚钱的时候,他们碍于面子,应该也不会出来点破我了……) In room people, gradually shone in the Annan eye. 紧接着,屋内一个又一个的人,在安南眼中逐渐亮了起来。 xi xi su su, the venomous low sound of talking, resound in the Annan heart: 窸窸窣窣的、充满恶意的低语声,在安南心中响起: (...... The heritage of teacher, should not have my one. I will take away the picture in studio tomorrow......) (……老师的遗产,应该也没我的一份吧。那我明天就把画室里的画拿走吧……) (...... Does not know that Second Uncle's heritage, can fill up the gambling debt of Maring. This obviously is the incurable illness, before wasted so many money Xuming to make anything, tossed about the old gentleman......) (……也不知道二叔的遗产,能填满小马林的赌债吗。这明明是绝症,之前浪费这么多钱续命做什么,折腾老爷子吗……) (...... Really is the retribution, gets what one deserves. If not for the grandfather prevented me and Justin in the past marries, now is also insufficient not to have Priest money Zhao......) (……真是报应啊,活该。若不是爷爷当年阻止我和贾斯廷结婚,现在也不至于没钱找教士……) (...... Wasted my one month, but was dying. But is good, I worked did not have......) (……浪费了我一个多月的时间了,可算是要死了。这下可好,我工作也没了……) As Annan more was approaches dead, the surrounding person was sorrowful. 随着安南越是接近死亡,周围的人越是悲痛。 But in evil intention that their heart ignites, even more is strong. 但在他们心底燃起的恶意,却也越发浓重。 Perhaps that cannot be called the evil intention. 那或许不能称为恶意。 To the hope of death of Annan. 只是对安南之死的期盼。 The long time occupies the senior artist of sickbed, already, in long-time in the journey that was close to dying burnt through the sadness of family members and students. 久居病榻的老画师,早已在长久的、接近死亡的旅途中燃尽了家人和学生们的悲伤。 These noises in Annan brain are gradually pale. 安南脑中的这些噪音逐渐淡去。 Around him all become suddenly peaceful, ache also vanished, during the whole person falls into is completely tranquil. 他周围的一切突然变得安静下来,身上的疼痛也消失了,整个人陷入完全的宁静之中。 ...... He thought. ……他想起来了。 Some time at first falling ill, they are also not this. 在最初病倒的一段时间内,他们还不是这样的。 Oneself are not. 自己也不是。 „Do not waste money to treat to me again, my sickness is not able to cure......” “不要再浪费钱给我治疗了,我这病是治不好的……” „Do not say! Rich doesn't give the old person to treat an illness, makes sense?” “别这么说！有钱不给老人治病,像话吗？” Is ordinary like the flashback, Annan appears at present for four months ago, when oneself just fell ill the scene. 如同倒叙一般,安南眼前浮现出四个月前,自己刚刚病倒时的景象。 What in people eyes is anxious and urgent, in the spoken language and action, are earnest and solid „love”. 人们眼中的是焦急与紧迫,言语与行动中的,是热切而实在的“爱”。 But shortly after that this liked burning through completely. 但在那之后不久,这份爱就完全燃尽了。 Triviality in life, before the sickbed, energy, mental effort and financial resource that consumes, gradually with past „love” impartial, even overflows. 生活中的琐碎,病榻前消耗的精力、心力和财力,逐渐与昔日的“爱”持平,甚至溢出。 Does not know starts from where, that is hoping „finally very passes” the heart, gradually turned is hoping „sooner died”. 不知从何开始,那份期盼着“最终挺过去”的心,就渐渐变成了期盼着“早些死去”。 Perhaps 10%, 30%, 50%. 或是10%,或是30%,或是50%。 They display was still that love of past, however in the old person eyes, anything that in their hearts thought takes in everything at a glance. 他们所表现出来的仍是过去的那份爱,然而在老人眼中,他们心中所想的什么一览无余。 ...... To arouse that love. ……想要重新唤起那份爱。 Only died. 就唯有死去。 Let that exhausted, agitated, painful and sad wash completely only, changes into fondly remembers. 让那份疲惫、烦躁、痛苦、悲伤全部涤净,化为怀念。 Only died. 就唯有死去。 To be hated, wants is not loathed, wants not to give people to put to trouble...... 想要被人们恨着,想要不被人们厌恶,想要不给人们添麻烦…… Only died. 就唯有死去。 ...... This is you want to give me to demonstrate, Denton? ……这才是你想给我展示的吗,丹顿？ Annan looks at the life of old studio flashback broadcast, in the brain appears such thought. 安南看着老画室倒叙播放的人生,脑中浮现出了这样的念头。 Not just died in the nightmare by oneself. 并非只是让自己在噩梦中死去。 By this confuses itself to „living” and „dying” cognition. 以此混淆自己对“生”与“死”的认知。 But lets in the Annan heart plants „me to live is being mistake” the thought that making Annan produce „people to hope I died” idea. 而是让安南心中种下“我活着便是错误”的念头,让安南产生“人们在期盼着我死去”的想法。 What...... then can Denton make? ……然后丹顿要做什么？ In outside, detonates this self-destroying desire? 在外面,引爆这份自灭欲吗？ „- This may be really boring.” “-这可真无聊。” Annan deep sighing: „On might as well a trap is interesting.” 安南深深的叹了口气:“还不如上一个陷阱有趣。” In front of Annan, the nightmare is suddenly torn to pieces. 在安南面前,噩梦突然支离破碎。 He opens the eyes. 他重新睁开双眼。 In eye radiant slightly gloomy some, but then floods suddenly. 眼中的璀璨稍微暗淡了些许,但眨眼间便重新满溢。 „Was too weak, was really weak.” “太弱了,实在是太弱了。” Annan sighed: „ Why this is certain kill? What person do you want to become me? 安南叹了口气:“为什么这个是绝杀？你把我想成什么人了？ „This degree of fear, was too weak...... I was really tiny bit, ‚I should die’ the thought will not have.” “这种程度的恐惧,实在是太弱了……我连一分一毫的,‘我应死去’的念头都不会有。” „...... Unexpectedly, really......” “……居然,真的……” Annan opposite white hair youngster, some unreadable wrinkling brows: „ Don't you...... have the heart? 安南对面的白发少年,有些难以理解的皱紧眉头:“你这个人……没有心吗？ „When likes your person loathing you, won't you tiny bit guilt have? You do not even want to make them give up saving you......” “当爱你的人厌恶你的时候,你连一丝一毫的愧疚都不会有吗？你甚至不想让他们放弃拯救你……” „- That is natural. People loathe me, with my what does/works? I do not live for them.” “-那是自然。人们厌恶我,与我何干？我又不是为了他们而活的。” Annan sighed, stood swayingly. 安南叹了口气,晃晃悠悠站起来。 His remnant of destroyed building, shook suddenly. 他脚下的断壁残垣,突然震荡了起来。 Seven frightened fragment collections simultaneous/uniform...... the entire nightmare shivered suddenly. 七枚恐惧碎片集齐……整个噩梦突然颤动了起来。 The fragmentary building fragment gradually revolves, gathers ; Void , the building outlined, filled up the slit of remnant of destroyed building. 零零碎碎的建筑物碎片逐渐旋转起来,聚集在一起;虚空之中,建筑物勾勒而出,将断壁残垣的缝隙填满。 Became the ship of fragment worn-out, suddenly becomes neat. 原本破旧成碎片的船,眨眼间重新变得整齐。 Finally, Annan recognized. 终于,安南认了出来。 The complete picture of this ship. 这艘船的全貌。 This is the first nightmare that...... he experiences. 这才是……他所经历的第一个噩梦。 Benjamin with the John the complete curse of soul and Don Juan Geraint, the artificial nightmare that makes. 本杰明用约翰的灵魂、唐璜·杰兰特的全部诅咒,制造出的人工噩梦。 That ship. 那艘船。 „Hey, do not make a mistake, Denton.” “喂,别搞错了,丹顿。” Annan overlooks the white hair youngster who was still closing right up against the wall, extremely tranquil saying: „ I am not a sage, is not a god, is not a king. 安南俯视着仍然靠着墙的白发少年,极平静的说道:“我不是圣人,不是神,也不是王。 „ How bystander , there is nothing to do with me. I cannot control so many, I can manage, only then oneself. “外人如何,与我无关。我管不了这么多,我能管的只有自己。 „ It looks like the beforehand spider web nightmare same- I told them, making them follow me. But do I have then wait for them? Do I have to them hope? Do I have to issue the order, to direct them? “就像是之前的蜘蛛丝噩梦一样-我跟他们说,让他们追随我。可我有回头等他们吗？我有给他们期许吗？我有发出命令、指挥他们吗？ „I stipulated that they can follow me? Did I request them not to betray? They flinch have I spoken a few words?” “我规定他们必须跟上我吗？我要求他们不得背叛了吗？他们退缩的时候我有说过一句话吗？” Annan carefree is laughing: „ No joking, Denton! 安南畅快的大笑着:“别闹了,丹顿！ „ Not normal lunatic, only then my, how they like doing how do. I sacrificed am not because I want to respond to their requests, but is I wants to serve this purpose, therefore I will not need the reward ; Then I tired of the hatred, not the needed time, will not make anything to respond to them. “不正常的疯子只有我一个,他们爱怎么做就怎么做。我牺牲也不是因为我想要回应他们的请求,而是我想要达到这个目的,所以我不会需要报酬;那么我被厌憎、不被需要的时候,也不会对他们做出什么回应。 „ They like playing this named ‚life’ game, I lead them to play. But I do not want to bring time, no one wants to force me to help them ; If they do not like playing go back then to live oneself life. In the final analysis...... “他们喜欢玩这个名为‘生活’的游戏,我就带他们玩。但我不想带的时候,谁也不想强迫我帮他们;他们若是不喜欢玩就回去接着过自己的生活。说到底…… „How they hope, always has nothing to do with me.” “他们如何期许,从来就与我无关。”