ROTW :: Volume #5 冒牌总督

#533: The following is I makes out of whole cloth

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In curious, surprised, the attempt and other under factor obligations, ‚Supreme’ instant noodles are the counter potential the line, a night explodes the fire! 在好奇,惊讶,尝试等各种因素驱使下,‘至尊’方便面是逆势而行,一夜爆火！ Anything ‚too does not have sale ‚ not to anticipate that expensively’ feeling ’ ‚star expense is unable to be long-time’, all predicted negative fails completely. After on the supermarket shelf presents universal stockout the phenomenon, various media shock, has to hit oneself face, propagandizes one time. 什么‘太贵没销路’‘毫无期待感’‘明星消费无法长久’,所有负面预言全部落空。当超市货架上出现普遍缺货的现象后,各家媒体是大跌眼镜,不得不自己打自己脸,又宣传一次。 „This is really very strange, midnight we before closing comes a wave of people, the designation to buy this instant noodles.” “这真是很奇怪,半夜我们临近关门前又来一波人,指名要买这款方便面。” „Situation that instant noodles explode the fire has not seen, we stock with goods not many, a day sold-out.” “方便面爆火的情况还真没见过,我们进货不多,一天就卖完了。” „Now some online people increase price to 100 one barrel, is heard that this type of instant noodles are specially delicious, but can only wait for second time to stock with goods now.” “现在网上有人加价到100块一桶,就是听说这种方便面特别好吃,可现在只能等第二次进货了。” „As a glutton, I really by this instant noodles being moved, because I felt after finishing eating , the whole person was cheerful, was too delicious!” “作为一个吃货,我真的被这款方便面给感动了,因为我感觉吃完后整个人都欢快死了,太好吃！” „Now thinks that can by the thing of Victor Hugo recommendation, possibly be been how bad? Really must thank my Prince Charming, this at is not instant noodles, but is happy feast.” “现在想想,能被维克多.雨果推荐的东西,怎么可能差嘛？真是要感谢我的男神,这根本不是一款方便面,而是一份欢乐大餐。” Being haughty at first but respectful later and adding fuel to the flames of media, is makes the consumer to this specially expensive instant noodles big feeling curious, the people who simply had not purchased want to attempt. In the market condition sells outright the goods repeatedly, causing the person who ate has also wanted to eat even to start to store up. 媒体的前倨后恭和推波助澜,更是让消费者对这款特别贵的方便面大感好奇,很多原本根本没有购买的人都想要尝试一下。市面上屡屡买断货,导致很多吃了还想吃的人甚至开始囤积。 But in office building that ‚Wasteland Trading’ is, one group of dealers from land stop up in the entrance do not walk from the start. Such sell, the cargo that such comes into demand very long had not seen, really takes the good thing that can change money. 而在‘废土贸易’所在的办公楼,一堆来自全国各地的经销商堵在门口压根不走。这么好卖,这么走俏的货物已经很久没见过了,真是拿到手就能换钱的好东西。 But the issue is the source of goods is limited, an ability basic with has not receipted! Every day 500,000 barrels of output could not satisfy the market demand, for factory production very vigorously, while expressed our capacities also to continue to enhance, so long as the order lost the guarantee to complete the task. 可问题是货源有限,没点能耐根本拿不到货啊！每天500000桶的产量根本满足不了市场需求,代工厂一边生产的很起劲,一边表示我们的产能还能继续提高,只要订单丢下来保证完成任务。 The dealer also said that let alone a day 500,000 barrels, on the present market reaction, a day 5 million barrels can sell out. A bit faster the expanded capacity, we are willing to sell this type of cargo. 经销商也表示,别说一天500000桶,就现在市场反应,一天5000000桶都能卖掉。快点扩大产能啊,我们很愿意销售这种货物。 The bank also by the sales raging tide of blowout shocking, them only looked at that the quantity of delivery knows how many funds has to flow, calculates thin is to understand ‚Wasteland Trading’ definitely has the formidable repayment capability, is asking that keeps ‚needs not to loan? The interest gives preferential benefit absolutely, the repayments condition is absolutely loose!’ 银行也被井喷似的销售狂潮给惊呆了,他们只看出货量就知道这其中有多少资金在流动,细算一下更是明白‘废土贸易’绝对有强大的还款能力,接着就是不停的问‘需要贷款不？利息绝对优惠,还款条件绝对宽松啊！’ Instant noodles market thoroughly by ‚Supreme’ confusing, so long as has eaten the person does not have the interest to other instant noodles again, when faces the media interview directly expressed that ‚this at is not instant noodles, takes it as the instant noodles simply is an insult.’ 方便面市场彻底被‘至尊’给搅乱了,只要吃过的人对其他方便面再也没有兴趣,甚至面对媒体采访时都直接表示‘这根本不是一款方便面,把它称作方便面简直是一种侮辱。’ Heard that the rehearsing team buys ‚iPhone’, hears the rehearsing team buyer then surface? Now some big city supermarkets to attract passenger flow, even makes advertisement head store newly-arrived one batch ‚Supreme’ instant noodles, the quantity is limited, wants to buy quickly! 听说过排队买‘iPhone’的,听说过排队买方便面的吗？现在大城市有的超市为了吸引客流,甚至打出招牌本店新到一批‘至尊’方便面,数量有限,欲购从速！ Therefore the customer comes in swarms. 于是顾客蜂拥而至。 Afterward the supermarket feels that ‚Supreme’ the effect of attraction passenger flow was too rather good, did not deep cut the potential is not the good drop! Therefore some supermarkets start to trade advertisement head store newly-arrived one batch ‚Supreme’ instant noodles, spends over 200 Yuan customers to depend on the small note purchase. 后来超市觉着‘至尊’吸引客流的效果未免太好了,不深挖潜力是不行滴！于是有的超市开始换个招牌本店新到一批‘至尊’方便面,消费200元以上的顾客可以凭小票购买。 Spends 200 Yuan to purchase? Bought several bags of meter/rice to suffice, the customer said this was not the matter, so long as gave me to come several barrels ‚Supreme’ on the line. 才消费200元就能购买？买几袋米就够了,顾客表示这都不是事啊,只要给我来几桶‘至尊’就行。 From the beginning this merely is the spontaneous action of supermarket fresh department, may afterward the electrical appliances department feel that this point can use!......, Purchases a liquid crystal to here, delivers one barrel ‚Supreme’ instant noodles. Therefore the electrical appliances department discovered that their sales results soar! 一开始这仅仅是超市生鲜部门的自发行为,可后来家电部门觉着这一点可以利用啊！来来来……,到我们这里购买一台液晶电视,送一桶‘至尊’方便面。于是家电部门发现他们的销售业绩直线上升！ Finally everybody discovered that so long as can instant noodles establish the relations with ‚Supreme’, the sales volume is to sit the helicopter rapid rise. 结果大家发现,只要能跟‘至尊’方便面搭上关系,销量都是坐直升飞机般的飞速上升。 Quick, sells the start change of automobile. so long as in the 4 S shop matches one barrel ‚Supreme’, when lets the customer test run eats enjoyable carefree, the transaction success ratio enhances several times! 很快,卖汽车的开始改变。4S店里只要搭配一桶‘至尊’,让客户试车之余吃的舒心畅快,交易成功率提高几倍啊！ In the past wanted the achievement, sold the young lady in house to have must sacrifice the appearance. May only hit ‚Supreme’ instant noodles to go on the market, the sales lady also closely follows the tidal current. At crucial moment so long as said that ‚mister, here started to deliver to purchase homes ‚ Supreme’ ’, therefore sold the room with ease no longer is the difficult matter. 过去想要业绩,卖房子的小姐少不了还要牺牲色相。可只打‘至尊’方便面上市,售楼小姐也紧紧跟随潮流。关键时候只要说一声‘先生,我们这里开始送买房‘至尊’了’,于是轻松卖房不再是难事。 From now on the future, the clerk wants to enhance achievement, looks does not have the personal connection, cannot boast, cannot exploit one's connections, but looks to grasp many ‚Supreme’ instant noodles. Has ‚Supreme’ many person often is called the surface tyrant! 从今往后,业务员想要提高业绩,看的不是多有人脉,不是多能吹牛,不是多能拉关系,而是看掌握多少‘至尊’方便面。拥有最多‘至尊’的人往往被称为面霸！ From now on the future, gives a present to the leader with is useless to the multi- money, if no one barrel ‚Supreme’ to manage absolutely does not accomplish. Even the accurate son-in-law sees mother -in-law continually, perhaps one barrel ‚Supreme’ gets into the stomach everybody to cheer up, does not want house vehicle deposit anything to be able the wife to marry. 从今往后,给领导送礼拿给多钱都没用,要是没一桶‘至尊’是绝对办不成事。甚至连准女婿见丈母娘,一桶‘至尊’下肚大家都能高兴起来,说不定不要房子车子存款什么的就能把老婆娶到手。 The person who has the depression so long as has eaten ‚Supreme’, he can sing loudly immediately joyfully, is all smiles. Henceforth not in overwhelmed with sorrow, depressed, divides a minute of thought to understand, raises to the life the spark of hope. 得抑郁症的人只要吃了‘至尊’,他都能立刻快乐高歌,笑容满面。从此不在愁肠百结,闷闷不乐,分分钟念头通达,对生活重新升起希望的火花。 The patient who has the cancer also no longer worries, said that joyful kills the best medicine of cancer cell, but now eats one barrel ‚Supreme’, can guarantee the joyful three hours. Day in day out eating and ensure cancer cell must wither in the laughter slowly, the life journey once more is henceforth unobstructed, the years are static, enjoy calmly. 得癌症的患者也不再发愁,都说快乐是杀死癌细胞的最佳药物,而现在吃一桶‘至尊’,就能保证快乐三小时。一天到晚的吃下去,保证癌细胞都要在笑声中慢慢萎缩,从此人生道路再次通畅,岁月静好,从容享受。 The patient of neurosis was closed in the mental hospital is how painful, comes one barrel ‚Supreme’. The confused thought will be restored, the thought of distortion will be straightened out, the biased behavior has been corrected. The patient family members weep, we are saved finally! 精神病的患者被关在精神病院是多么痛苦,来一桶‘至尊’吧。错乱的思维将被恢复,扭曲的思想将被理顺,偏执的行为得到纠正。患者家属都喜极而泣,我们终于得救啦！ The vitiligo, the epilepsy, the constipation hemorrhoids, bald fall to send, infertility, sexual impotence premature ejaculation, short, the wrapper is too long, is swollen and painful, the leucorrhea are too much, the skin sinks darkly,......, Although ‚Supreme’ instant noodles cannot cure these diseases, but can be diverting, faces confidently! 白癜风,癫痫,便秘痔疮,秃头掉发,不孕不育,阳痿早泄,短小,包皮过长,肿痛,白带过多,皮肤暗沉,呃……,虽然‘至尊’方便面不能治好这些疾病,但能让人快乐,坦然面对嘛！ Hits LOL also to be scolded is the elementary student? Comes one barrel ‚Supreme’ and ensure you are happy, has plenty of fight in one. Went all out by the negative life again, since then loses steadily, fights on despite repeated setbacks, achievement platinum dream in setback and tribulation! 打LOL还被人骂做小学生吗？来一桶‘至尊’吧,保证你心情舒畅,斗志昂扬。被否定的人生再次发愤图强,从此屡战屡败,屡败屡战,在挫折和磨难中成就白金梦想！ But regarding the genuine elementary student, one barrel ‚Supreme’ can supplement that full energy, the attention is more centralized, the brain thought is more active, the study becomes more joyful. Even if in bear the child two do, can face father and mother's leather whip with a smile. 而对于真正的小学生,一桶‘至尊’就可以补充满满的正能量,注意力更集中,大脑思维更活跃,学习变得更加快乐。哪怕熊孩子中二作死的时候,也能笑着面对爸爸妈妈的皮鞭子。 But regarding the middle-school student, you also is «Five Years of College entrance examination Three Years of Simulation» has a headache? Comes one barrel ‚Supreme’, it can let you confidently facing the dreary life. The mood good to display, the mood good intelligence water to be high, is happy, even if tested to pound has also been able to smile! 而对于中学生,你还在为《五年高考三年模拟》而头疼吗？来一桶‘至尊’吧,它能让你坦然面对惨淡的人生。心情好才能发挥好嘛,心情好智力水才能高嘛,心情好哪怕考砸了也能笑嘛！ Suggested that national all guardians give the child to prepare one barrel before the college entrance examination ‚Supreme’, making the child enter the arena happily, joyful answer, delighted departure. Even if turned in a blank examination paper has not related, cultivates the behavior is certainly happy. 建议全国所有家长在高考前都给孩子准备一桶‘至尊’,让孩子高高兴兴的进场,快快乐乐的答题,欢欢喜喜的离开。哪怕交了白卷也没关系,做人一定要开心。 But university student, master's degree student, postgraduate candidate, big cow that even if teaches the academician rank, don't you need to be joyful? Comes one barrel ‚Supreme’ instant noodles, so-called ‚smiles, ten years of few’, the modernization construction of motherland has heavy responsibilities, you need to smile to face, unprecedented! 而大学生,硕士生,博士生,哪怕教授院士级别的大牛,你们难道不需要快乐吗？都来一桶‘至尊’方便面吧,所谓‘笑一笑,十年少’,祖国的现代化建设任重道远,你们需要微笑面对,一往无前！ ‚Supreme’ instant noodles are the happy source, is the happy foundation, is the harmonious safeguard. Let us hug the future, hugs ‚Supreme’! ‘至尊’方便面是欢乐的源泉,是幸福的根基,是和谐的保障。让我们拥抱未来,拥抱‘至尊’吧！ I......, Really could not arrange! 我……,实在编不下去了！
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