IRAS :: Volume #9

#886: Zhang Ye, this sketch you come


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The matter was noisily big! 事情闹大了! Many people of Spring Festival do not look, comes to surround! 好多人春晚都不看了,前来围观! «A Letter To Home holds on to Music Billboard third 一封家书坐稳音乐风云榜第三名!》 «Zhang Ye Yao Jiancai new Crosstalk receives the unanimous good marks 张烨姚建才相声受到一致好评!》 The «world table tennis championship men's team is regretfully lost 《世界兵乓球锦标赛男团惜败!》 «Han Li loss reason 韩力的输球原因?》 «head coach Liu Yifeng supports Han Li 《总教练刘一峰力挺韩力!》 The «member in live broadcast complained that A Letter To Home is too coarse! Causes to lose the game 《队员在直播中抱怨一封家书太难听!导致输球!》 Online recent news also one after another! 网上的新闻消息也一个接一个! Han Li also calculates very hot Celebrity athlete, although table tennis player was paid attention to the degree and fame definitely does not compare Entertainment Circle Celebrity, but the Celebrity athlete mixed really well, popularity was also quite high, had Yao Ming, Liu Xiang, Li Na like Zhang Ye that world wait / etc. several examples. 韩力也算个很火的明星运动员,虽然兵乓球球员的受关注程度和名气肯定比不上娱乐圈明星,但明星运动员真混得好了,人气也是相当高的,像张烨那个世界就有姚明、刘翔、李娜等等几个例子。 At this moment, Han Li Weibo was been rotten. 此刻,韩力微薄已经被人烂了。 Also similarly receives has national sports team head coach Liu Yifeng that besieges, even official Weibo of national table tennis team also had been brushed continually! 同样受到围攻的还有国家队总教练刘一峰,甚至连国家兵乓球队的官方微薄也被人刷了一个遍! „Can you speak?” “你们会不会说话的?” A little demeanor, do not lose face to the people!” “有点风度吧,别给国人丢脸了!” I am shy for you, this time disgraced lost to the overseas goes!” “我都替你们害臊,这次丢人都丢到国外去了啊!” Loses to the Republic of Korea team you also to have a face to scold Zhang Ye? My real his mother was given air/Qi to be ignorant by you! You scolded Zhang Ye! Who is Teacher Zhang that? That is a specialized black Han 20 years of person! Others from make a debut to start with Korea - person challenge! Goes to war with Korea Celebrity! Every one time with their battles of words, Teacher Zhang to A-list, even last year today, Teacher Zhang because also hit Li Anxu to shut in the local police station, the innumerable common people crashed in the local police station to help Zhang Ye get free! What scene that is, do you know? Have you seen? Others continuously on black Han's A-list! Has not lost! Which looks like you, lost the game the strange Zhang Ye song not to be of pleasant to hear? Any logic!” “输给韩国队你们还有脸骂张烨?我真他妈被你们给气懵了!你们骂的着张烨么!张老师那是什么人?那是专业黑韩20年的主儿!人家从一出道开始就在和韩-国-人打架!和韩-国明星干仗!每一次和他们的骂战,张老师都是冲在第一线,甚至去年的今天,张老师还因为打了李安旭被关进派出所,无数老百姓冲进派出所帮张烨开脱!那是个什么场面,你们知道吗?你们见过吗?人家一直都在黑韩的第一线上!从来没输过!哪儿像你们啊,输了球还怪张烨的歌不好听?什么逻辑啊!” I also took, touching some did such song people scold?” “我也服了,这么感人的歌都有人骂?” Looks at «Everything Alright»! Visited you to know!” “去看《一切都好》吧!看了你们就知道了!” However, several Weibo do not have any sound. 然而,几个微薄都没有任何动静。 The Liu Yifeng and Han Li and other national sports team of people had not explained that also has not paid attention. 刘一峰韩力等国家队的人都没有解释,也没有理会。 ...... …… Today is doomed is a unusual night! 今天注定是个不寻常的夜晚! The satellite TV Spring Festival blood spells, the Zhang Ye Yao Jiancai new Crosstalk shock nation, «A Letter To Home» sweeps away Music Billboard, the table tennis international championship loses the game, the Han Li loss reason new thing method, the national sports team default manner, a piece of netizen scolded the sound again, and so on, this lunar New Year's Day evening was really too lively! However, possibly is dislikes lively are not enough, but also is not very big, Beijing TV Station had the big condition! 卫视春晚血拼,张烨姚建才相声震惊全国,《一封家书》横扫音乐风云榜,兵乓球世锦赛输球,韩力输球理由再出新招儿,国家队默认的态度,网友的一片骂声,等等等等,这大年初一的晚上真的是太热闹了!然而,可能是嫌热闹还不够多,还不够大,京城电视台又出了大状况! Backstage. 后台。 In the place near assembly hall, one group of people makes a mess! 就在会议厅附近的地方,一帮人乱作一团! Quick, called the ambulance quickly!” “快,快叫救护车!” Whoops, how was this?” “哎呦,怎么了啊这是?” Hits 120!” “打120啊!” Teacher Qu Haiying fainted!” 瞿海英老师晕倒了!” Do not move him! Possibly is heart disease! Do not move casually!” “别动他!可能是心脏病!不要随便动!” Called the leader quickly!” “快去叫领导啊!” This may go bad! This may go bad!” “这可坏了!这可坏了啊!” Teacher Qu! Teacher Qu! You awake!” 瞿老师瞿老师!您醒醒啊!” After the moment, Chang Xiaoliang leads the people of Director group to catch up hurriedly, can like this? Old Qu? Old Qu? Called the ambulance? How not to have come!” 片刻后,常晓亮带着导演组的人急急忙忙赶来,“怎么会这样啊?老瞿老瞿?叫救护车了没有?怎么还不来啊!” Beijing TV Station several Station Leader also hurried to catch up! 京城电视台的几个台领导也慌忙赶来了! Female staff quickly anxiously have cried, lunar New Year's Day had a vacation, the ambulance are few!” 一女工作人员都快急哭了,“大年初一都放假了,救护车少!” Chang Xiaoliang takes the bull by the horns, do not wait! Finds the person to drive to deliver Teacher Qu to go to hospital! In a big hurry quick!” 常晓亮当机立断,“别等了!找人开车送瞿老师去医院!快快快!” Hu Fei said loudly: Has a look in the Old Qu pocket to have the heart disease medicine! Gives him to eat one first!” 胡飞大声道:“看看老瞿兜里有没有心脏病的药!给他先吃一个!” Right, takes a drug!” That side person hurries to be thrown into confusion looks for medicine. “对对对,吃药!”那边人赶紧手忙脚乱地找药。 After the person sends off, in the Chang Xiaoliang heart is very heavy, pressure was too big.” 等人送走以后,常晓亮心中十分沉重,“压力太大了啊。” An assistant station chief sighed, was Spring Festival, everybody boiled day and night was too long!” 一个副台长叹气,“为春晚,大家都没日没夜熬了太久了!” „The Teacher Qu heart was not good!” Partner of this Qu Haiying in Program said: But Program what to do? One hour started!” 瞿老师心脏一直不好!”这次瞿海英节目中的搭档说道:“可是节目怎么办?还有一个小时就开始了啊!” Station Leader looks to Chang Xiaoliang, „does Old Chang, change players to be good?” 一个台领导看向常晓亮,“老常,换人行不行?” Chang Xiaoliang said immediately: Old Qu Sketch, centered on him, this Sketch bases on Old Qu this person to create completely, cannot change players!” 常晓亮马上道:“老瞿小品,就是以他个人为核心的,这小品完全是基于老瞿这个人创作的,换不了人!” Female vice- Director is anxious stamps the feet, „, moreover changed players also without enough time!” 一个女副导演急得直跺脚,“而且换人也来不及了啊!” People of Director group proposed that top spare Program?” 导演组的人提议,“把备用节目顶上呢?” Which is prepared with Program, does not use eliminated!” “哪儿有备用节目啊,不用的都淘汰了!” Moreover before these chose in advance Program not to have the Sketch class!” “而且之前那些预选节目也没有小品类的啊!” Has, now finds person to come, prepares again also without enough time!” “就算有,现在找人过来,再准备也来不及啊!” What to do can this?” “这可怎么办?” Now our Viewership Ratings is rising dramatically!” “现在咱们收视率正在飙升啊!” Right, this returns live broadcast, cannot few Program!” “对啊,这还直播呢,不能少一个节目啊!” „Our can attain this year the satellite TV Spring Festival first prize really hopefully, before our Beijing Satellite TV Spring Festival, never has one time to attain! This is Zhang Ye and Teacher Yao Jiancai to the result that we strive for! If language class Program of next to last act did not have, had finished directly ahead of time, that was also a pity. Most essential is, Program sent only, did not have the means to finish ahead of time, otherwise behind what to do? Do the dozen minutes of emptying, all broadcast advertisement?” “咱们这回真有希望能拿到今年卫视春晚的头筹,咱们京城卫视春晚以前可从来没有一次拿到过!这都是张烨姚建才老师给咱们争取下来的成绩!如果压轴的语言类节目没了,直接提前结束了,那也太可惜了啊。最关键是,节目单都发出去了,也没办法提前结束啊,不然后面的怎么办?空出来的十几分钟,全播广告吗?” Otherwise top with Singing Program?” “不然用歌唱节目顶上?” Singing Program one also 2-3 minutes, at least must look for 34 Program! Looks? Which on looks? This unreasonable!” 歌唱节目一个也就两三分钟,起码要找34个节目啊!怎么找?上哪儿去找?这更不靠谱!” The people of Director group were chaotic, talked at once! 导演组的人都乱了,七嘴八舌! Suddenly, at this time, Xiao Lu in crowd spoke thoughtlessly to propose a suggestion, otherwise, newly did cause Sketch top?” 突然,这个时候,人群里的小吕随口提出了一个建议,“要不然,就新弄出一个小品顶上?” Presently writes Sketch? 现写小品 Presently prepares Item? 现准备道具 Has not rehearsed, on direct live broadcast? 没有排练,直接上直播 Your this is not talks nonsense! Whose line? 你这不是扯淡么!谁行啊? Many people do not have principle. 好多人都没理这茬儿。 But the Chang Xiaoliang hear, is actually suddenly at present one bright, because he has remembered a person! 可是常晓亮听完,却是突然眼前一亮因为他想起了一个人! ...... …… Corridor end restroom. 走廊尽头的休息室。 Yao Jiancai said: Outside? Randomly? Had an accident?” 姚建才说道:“外面怎么了?这么乱?是不是出什么事了?” Zhang Ye actually pays no attention, but also there looks at Weibo while shouts abuse in public. 张烨却理也不理,还在那儿一边看微薄一边骂街呢。 Good brother.” Yao Jiancai is overjoyed, you scolded for ten minutes, rested.” “行了老弟。”姚建才乐不可支,“你都骂十分钟了啊,歇会儿。” Zhang Ye said: Scolded them his three days three nights I not to dislike tired, this group of he very......” 张烨道:“骂他们丫三天三夜我也不嫌累,这帮丫挺……” The door had been opened from outside, has come in all of a sudden several people, has Station Leader, has Chang Xiaoliang, has Hu Fei Xiao Lu Da Fei, many Director of Program group with staff. These people come, hears Zhang Ye this famous Host, famous Director and Peking University Associate Professor and Media College Associate Professor there with class - bum same was foul-mouthed, mouth words that called coarse, the average people unable to scold! 门被人从外面推开了,一下子进来了十几个人,有台领导,有常晓亮,有胡飞小吕大飞,还有节目组的很多个导演跟工作人员。这些人一进来,就听见张烨这个著名主持人、著名导演北大副教授传媒大学副教授在那儿跟流-氓一样地骂骂咧咧,嘴里话那叫一个难听,一般人都骂不出来! Chang Xiaoliang: „......” 常晓亮:“……” Hu Fei: „......” 胡飞:“……” Station Leader: „......” 台领导:“……” Ok, installs not to hear. 算了,装没听见吧。 The people had not discussed that unanimously has made this decision. 众人都没有商量,就一致作出了这个决定。 Zhang Ye had a scare, does not scold, whoops, Leader Chang? Brother Hu? Assistant Station Chief Song? How is this?” 张烨吓了一跳,也不骂了,“哎呦,常导胡哥?宋副台长?怎么了这是?” Chang Xiaoliang comes straight to the point saying: Teacher Qu Haiying heart disease arises suddenly, was taken to the hospital.” 常晓亮开门见山道:“瞿海英老师心脏病突发,被送医院了。” Yao Jiancai is stunned, „is person what kind of?” 姚建才愕然,“人怎么样?” Qu Haiying name Zhang Ye has also listened, is good Sketch Actor. 瞿海英的名字张烨也听过,是一个不错的小品演员 Hu Fei said immediately: Telephoned a moment ago, the person just arrived at the hospital, awoke, should not have the danger, however later Program he affirmed that cannot get up.” 胡飞立即道:“刚才打了电话,人刚刚到医院,已经醒了,应该没有生命危险,但是待会儿的节目他肯定上不了了。” Zhang Ye relaxed, is stylish: Person is all right on the line.” 张烨松了口气,顿时道:“人没事就行啊。” Chang Xiaoliang has a look at Zhang Ye, „, but Sketch of Capital City Spring Festival next to last act, nobody developed!” 常晓亮看看张烨,“但是京城春晚压轴的小品,没人演了!” Zhang Ye yo a throat, worries to say for them: That what to do? You hurry to try to find the solution.” 张烨哟了一嗓子,也替他们着急道:“那怎么办?你们赶紧想办法啊。” Leader Zhang.” Capital City Spring Festival Chief Director visits him saying: You did not say before that has made Sketch?” 张导。”京城春晚一副总导演看着他道:“你之前不是说,弄了一个小品吗?” hear speech/words, Zhang Ye has tarried, what did you say?” 闻言,张烨呆住了,“你说啥?” That person duplicates saying: Sketch.” 那人重复道:“小品。” Zhang Ye has referred to the nose of one's own, I?” 张烨指了指自己的鼻子,“我?” That humanity: Right.” 那人道:“对。” The Zhang Ye staring bead, „have I said?” 张烨瞪着眼珠子,“我说过?” The Chang Xiaoliang nod said: You have said.” 常晓亮点头道:“你说过。” Talk nonsense! 扯淡! My his mother Crosstalk actor, do I make Sketch to do? I am sick! 我他妈一相声演员,我弄小品干嘛?我有病啊! Finally Zhang Ye just about to speaks, that Director a few words have suppressed to him, that humanity: Is you said that the previous dress rehearsal, you and Dong Shanshan have been late, you said that you are studying Sketch, this came late! Leader Chang added that will have the opportunity to with you work next year that Sketch! You added that does not have the issue!” 结果张烨刚要说话,那副导演一句话就给他憋了回去,那人道:“就是你说的啊,上次彩排,你和董杉杉迟到了,你说你们俩是在研究一个小品,这才来晚了!常导还说呢,明年有机会要跟你合作那小品!你还说没问题!” Zhang Ye was scared, Fuck, this saying he seems to be indistinct resembles...... Has said really! 张烨傻眼了,我草,这话他仿佛隐约间好像……真说过啊! Chang Xiaoliang courageously said: Did not need to cooperate next year, on this year, on today, Teacher Zhang, our group of people may depend entirely on you! Sketch of next to last act...... you come!” 常晓亮当机立断道:“不用明年合作了,就今年吧,就今天吧,张老师,我们这一帮人可全靠你了!压轴的小品……你来吧!” Do I come? 我来? Sketch?? 小品?? Zhang Ye almost puts out an old blood! 张烨差点吐出一口老血! Shit! The big brother you do not make to be good! My saying Crosstalk, I came any Sketch I! The previous that words I have meant, but that is because I and Dong Shanshan was late, my was speaks thoughtlessly to arrange a lie to look for by the head! Said that my brain overflowed, my one's own could not remember! Did you also take seriously also? Returns Sketch? You think my anything to be able really! 我靠!大哥你别闹行不行!我一说相声的,我来什么小品啊我!上次那话我是说过,可那是因为我和董杉杉迟到了啊,我那是随口编了一个瞎话找了个由头啊!说完我连脑子都没过,我自己都记不得了啊!你们丫怎么还当真了啊还?还小品?你们真以为我什么都会呐! ...... …… Others one day three before down, I cannot come, can only in giving a name high and low under Kungfu. This chapter of infant name called 100, the childhood name called 200, the nickname called 300! Mother - egg! Asked the monthly ticket!!】 【别人都一天三更五更的,我来不了,只能在起名上下下功夫了。这章乳名叫100更,小名叫200更,外号叫300更!妈-蛋!求月票!!】 ...... ……
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