Countdown. 倒计时。 Three. 三。 Two. 二。 One. 一。 Spring Festival live broadcast formally starts! 春晚直播正式开始！ First is two minutes of publicity short film emergency broadcasts, the short film photographs very magnificently, is very traditional, the A-list workers of various trades and occupations wear various post various industry clothing to appear in the short film, finally centralized on a spring festival transportation train, the people hold the fist in the other hand, the screen presents several character spring festival galas. 先是一个两分钟的宣传短片插播,短片拍摄得很华丽,也很传统,各行各业的一线工人都身着各岗各业的服装出现在短片中,最后集中在了一节春运的火车上,众人一抱拳,屏幕出现几个字春节联欢晚会。 The dance music resounds, is national Music, in the Music sound, actors draping a red band litchi go on stage, had to dance the Uyghur dance, has to dance the Dai people dance, there are to dance the Mongolian dance. 舞曲响起,是民族音乐,在音乐声中,演员们披红挂绿地登场了,有跳维族舞的,有跳傣族舞的,也有跳蒙古舞的。 „.” “呃。” „I how one unclear premonitions?” “我怎么有一种不详的预感？” „I am also.” “我也是。” „mix-up? Sweat.” “大杂烩？汗。” „Personnel constitution was too complex!” “人员构成太复杂了啊！” „This beginning dance, too ‚Spring Festival’!” “这个开场舞,真的太‘春晚’了！” „Every year is not this, quick, looks for the trough point!” “每年不是都这样么,快,找槽点啊！” „Piece, on!” “段子手们,上！” Had piece go on stage, but the party just started, everybody has not entered the condition, had not found any good breakthrough point, there is two points ridicule one not to have. 已经有段子手登场了,不过晚会才刚刚开始,大家还没进入状态,也没找到什么太好的切入点,有两点的吐槽一个也没有。 At this time, the actors of Mongolian dance took turns front, on the following large screen was also broadcasting each geographic name of Inner Mongolia, when a geographic name time, had the native to wear the Mongolian robe to ride a horse, or was defending the yurt, either in the school, was the pictures of paying new year's call. 这时,蒙古舞的演员们轮换到了前面,后面的大屏幕上还播放着内蒙的各个地名,每到一个地名的时候,都有当地人穿着蒙古袍骑着马,或守着蒙古包,或在学校里,都是一张张拜年的照片。 „Piece!” “段子手呐！” „Person?” “人呢？” „On!” “上啊！” „Everybody's battle efficiency?” “大家的战斗力呢？” „Who fires Spring Festival ‚first’!” “谁来打响春晚‘首槽’啊！” Suddenly, on weibo presented ridicule: „I come from Inner Mongolia, I in ********, I want to say that I explained to the outside friend these many years we do not live in the yurt, does not ride a horse to go to school, does not need the milk to take a bath, does not wear these Mongolian robes, finally Spring Festival broadcasts, my these many years efforts were all in vain.” 蓦然,微博上出现了一个吐槽:“我来自内蒙古,我在********,我想说,我对外地朋友解释了这么多年我们不住蒙古包,不骑马上学,不用牛奶洗澡,不穿那些蒙古袍,结果春晚一播,我这么多年的努力全白费了。” This ridicule, all person laughing like crazy! 这个吐槽一出,所有人都乐疯了！ „Hahahahaha!” “啊哈哈哈哈哈！” „Puff! Has teased feeding!” “噗！太逗了喂！” „This your mother is the specialized ridicule player!” “这你妈是专业吐槽选手啊！” „Looked that is specialized!” “一看就是专业的！” „It was good!” “太牛了！” „Spat to make a sound new year first!” “吐响了新年第一槽啊！” „Hahaha, smiled to pull out me!” “哈哈哈,笑抽我了！” „Which Expert whoops this is!” “哎呦这是哪位大能啊！” „Who I have a look at this am send, too joking!” “我看看这是谁发的,太逗比了！” Finally the netizens see this person of name, time smiles one group! 结果网友们一看到这人的名字,一时间更是笑成了一团！ „Puff!” “噗！” „Is Zhang Ye!” “是张烨！” „Fuck is the Zhang Ye main body!” “我草是张烨本尊！” „Smiles to spurt!” “笑喷！” „Hahahahaha!” “哈哈哈哈哈！” „Originally is Zhang Ye, I said that whose battle efficiency is so fierce!” “原来是张烨,我就说谁的战斗力这么猛啊！” „Comes to see quickly! Teacher Zhang fires off to Spring Festival!” “快来看啊！张老师又对春晚开炮啦！” „I said that the Spring Festival Program group had just released a pointed such strong statement, pointed at the nose to say Zhang Ye basically, Zhang Ye did not counter-attack absolutely is not his style!” “我就说春晚节目组刚发了一个针对性这么强的声明,基本都是指着鼻子说张烨了,张烨不回击一下绝对不是他风格啊！” „Teacher Zhang also joined the piece army!” “张老师也加入段子手大军了！” „Zhang Ye formidable might!” “张烨威武！” „Teacher Zhang is great!” “张老师好样的！” Zhang Ye this joins, the piece army exceptionally is encouraged immediately! 张烨这一加入,段子手大军登时异常振奋！ If ridicule of other piece, perhaps dissemination so will not be quick, but this ridicule stems from the hand of Zhang Ye, disseminated Speed naturally can be imagined, Zhang Ye weibo fans was an extremely huge quantity, 10 million must be little, time, the beginning dance on television had not ended, this ridicule had spread over the network! 如果是其他段子手的吐槽,或许传播的还不会这么快,但这个吐槽是出自张烨之手,传播速度自然可想而知了,张烨的微博粉丝可是一个极其庞大的数量,足足有10000000还要多一点点,一时间,电视上的开场舞还没结束,这个吐槽就已经被传遍了网络！ ...... …… Grandma. 姥姥家。 Three younger sisters shout: „Hahaha, brother your too bad!” 三妹妹喊道:“哈哈哈,哥你太损了！” Two younger sisters laugh, „did brother, you also really go to ridicule?” 二妹妹大笑,“哥,你还真去吐槽了啊？” „Was too classical!” The big younger sister also looks that Weibo covers mouth to keep laughing, „our brother glib lips are fierce! This ridicule was too specialized, breakthrough point and ruthless!” “太经典了！”大妹妹也看着微薄掩嘴笑个不停,“还是咱哥嘴皮子厉害！这吐槽太专业了,切入点又准又狠！” Zhang Ye actually muddily does not care. This is essence that his netizens and piece of world summarize - can magnificent, not permit? Can not be ruthless? 张烨却浑不在意。这都是他那个世界的网友和段子手们总结出来的精-华,能不准吗？能不狠吗？ ...... …… The beginning dance ended. 开场舞结束。 Host started the string field! 主持人开始串场了！ Chen Ye red color clothes, „once a year celebrated the festival!” 陈野一身大红色衣服,“一年一度迎佳节！” Nearby female Host said loudly: „The whole nation has joyfully celebrated the new year!” 旁边的女主持人大声道:“举国欢庆过新年！” Several Host lines do not have what fresh idea, is compares the hackneyed stuff the New Year message, with beforehand Spring Festival only different was the stage changed, was more magnificent than before, the technical element were more. 几个主持人的台词都没有什么新意,全是比较老套的新年贺词,和以前春晚唯一不同的就是舞台变了,比以前更加华丽,科技元素更多。 Quick, second Program began. 很快,第二个节目开场了。 Program of dance class, centers on Singing. 还是歌舞类的节目,以歌唱为重点。 A famous singer enters the stage, sang: „Ancestor oh country, new look!” 一个大牌歌星出场,唱道:“祖噢国,新气象！” Movies Celebrity mounts the stage, „year after year, new appearance.” 一个影视明星登台,“年年啊,新样子。” Old Singing sang loudly, „common people, were very happy.” 一个老歌唱家高歌,“老百姓,很幸福。” A soprano, „Qi Kua, altogether - produces - party.” 一个女高音,“齐夸啊,共-产-党。” This is first new song, does not know that is who writes words to compose, in the past had not listened actually. 这是首新歌,也不知是谁作词作曲的,往年倒是没听过。 Netizen ridicule: 网友吐槽: „This word, too energy!” “这个词,太正能量了啊！” „Sweat, didn't have other Program?” “汗,没有别的节目了吗？” „I have been about to fall asleep.” “我已经快睡着了。” „Can don't this? This year Spring Festival probably is how more arid than the old times!” “能不能别这样啊？今年春晚怎么好像比往年还要枯燥啊！” „Trough were too many, I actually do not know how should spit.” “槽点太多了,我竟然不知道该怎么吐了。” „Sketch came!” “小品来了！” „Anticipation language class Program!” “期待语言类节目啊！” Third Program welcomed this year's Spring Festival first Sketch finally. 第三个节目终于迎来了今年春晚第一个小品。 But the audience looked that was dizzier. 可是观众一看,更晕了。 Sketch called «This Is New Policy», what narrated was a family of pair of rural area because of some issues and hindrance of going out the management coming across, the new policy that because finally the country approved but has completed the matter smoothly, the conclusion before Sketch conclusion, everybody uneven quart policy was good. 小品叫《这是新政策》,讲述的是一对儿农村的家庭因为出门办事而遇到的一些问题和阻碍,最后因为国家批下来的新政策而顺顺利利地将事情办成了,小品结束前的收尾,大家齐夸政策好。 The netizens have different opinions. 网友褒贬不一。 „Also assembles.” “还凑合吧。” „Smiles on front that also several.” “就前面那一段还有几个笑点。” „Talked nonsense, smiling that which came? My entire journey in speechless!” “扯淡,哪儿来的笑点啊？我全程都在无语！” „Was too bored! It is not funny!” “太无聊了！一点也不好笑啊！” „This what Sketch?” “这什么小品啊？” „Faint, anticipates with me is different!” “晕,跟我期待的不一样啊！” Then is the dance, shouts the slogan, finally, the first Crosstalk work also came, is 60 People many mouths Crosstalk «Family reunion» of Tang Dazhang Crosstalk association! Before resembled this Program to enter the stage is quite late, nearby close zero point, because afterward the public opinion pressure was too big, everybody's question sound were too many, therefore caused the Spring Festival Program group to make the interim adjustment, was ahead of time Tang Dazhang Crosstalk. 然后又是歌舞,又是喊口号,终于,第一个相声作品也来了,正是唐大章相声团体的60人大群口相声《阖家团圆》！以前好像这个节目出场比较晚,接近零点附近的,不过后来因为舆论压力太大,大家的质疑声太多,所以导致春晚节目组做出了临时调整,将唐大章的相声提前了。 Language class stage scene. 语言类舞台现场。 Tang Dazhang mounts the stage with audiences Senior Brother Junior Brother and apprentices stride. 唐大章携众师兄师弟和徒弟们大步登台。 Comes up, Tang Dazhang with a smile waved with the audiences, „viewer friends, we met.” 一上来,唐大章就笑着跟观众们挥了挥手,“观众朋友们,咱们又见面了。” The following applause is sparse, as soon as many people listened to be happy, was not these words has comedy, but was many people remembers Zhang Ye that «Me To want On in the Spring Festival» piece to the satire of Tang Dazhang. 下面掌声稀稀拉拉,好多人一听就乐了,不是这句话有多搞笑,而是很多人想起了张烨那《我要上春晚》的段子里对唐大章的讽刺。 „Here, we paid new year's call to you first!” “在这里,我们先给您拜年了！” 60 people of simultaneously bow, said with one voice: „New year's celebration is good!” 60人齐齐鞠躬,异口同声道:“过年好！” „Today is an auspicious day.” “今天是个好日子。” „Right.” “对。” „One year of such a day.” “一年就这么一天。” „Right.” “没错。” Crosstalk started, was two people said first that afterward entered the link of singing songs, the remaining that more than 50 Crosstalk actors together have joined, had urheen, had the ball string, several sang female comrades(s) of dagu storytelling also one after another to join, Crosstalk made the momentum to be enormous and powerful, the happy song carried the dance! 相声开始了,最先是两个人说,后来进入到了唱曲的环节,剩下那50多个相声演员就都一起加入了,有拉二胡的,有弹弦儿的,还有几个唱大鼓书的女同志也陆续加入了,一场相声弄得声势浩荡,欢歌载舞！ The netizens looked silly. 网友都看傻了。 „Is this Crosstalk?” “这是相声吗？” „Felt that is Singing Program?” “怎么感觉是歌唱节目啊？” „Quite bored!” “好无聊啊！” „Inside only several smile, but also is several years ago old stems, the stem is very as if familiar, probably was Zhang Ye Yao Jiancai had used a stem modifying!” “里面唯一的几个笑点,还都是好几年前的老梗,有一个梗似乎还很熟悉,好像是张烨姚建才曾经用过的一个梗给改动了一下！” „This also is really the family reunion! I listened to urinate!” “这还真是阖家团圆啊！我都听尿了！” „Slogan shouted clearly, anticipated compared with me must miss!” “口号喊的真亮,比我期待的还要差啊！” „Tang Dazhang was old, now was less good, came apart with the time.” “唐大章岁数大了,现在已经越来越不行了,跟时代脱节了。” „This year's Spring Festival probably with us not in a time, if some people told me it are five years ago Spring Festival, I believed in firmly!” “今年的春晚好像就跟咱们不在一个时代的,如果有人告诉我它是五年前的春晚,我都深信不疑！” „I know why finally Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai cannot get up CCTV Spring Festival this year, Teacher Zhang Teacher Yao they are obviously impossible to have the politics of Tang Dazhang this group of people - governs comes to understand!” “我终于知道张烨和姚建才今年为什么上不了央视春晚了,张老师姚老师俩人显然不可能有唐大章这帮人的政-治觉悟啊！” Several Program in the past, many people thoroughly did not have the temperament! 几个节目过去,很多民众都已经彻底没脾气了！ Piece assume an awe-inspiring pose. 段子手们纷纷发威。 Participated including Zhang Ye fans group regimental commander Big Sabre Bro. 连张烨粉丝团团长大刀兄都参与了。 Fan Yingyun: „This night, the whole nations can go to sleep peacefully, mother does not need to be worried issue that I lose sleep!” 范映芸:“这个夜晚,全国人民都可以安然入睡,妈妈再也不用担心我失眠的问题了！” But all ridicule from top to bottom, there is a ridicule sound especially to be conspicuous, „splendid, was too splendid! This year's Spring Festival, this is I lives a best news broadcast that more than 20 years looked. It abandoned regularly the news broadcast sole mouth to broadcast the image form, the collection song, the dance, Sketch, vcr and other forms as one. Explaining the profound in simple language publicity the good policy of party, national happy Xiang Rong, the people to enjoy a good and prosperous life, is another innovative breakthrough of news publicity, enters the brain to enter the heart, fulfilled three to draw close to the principle profoundly, being worth all news publicity front comrades studying to comprehend!” 可是从上到下的所有吐槽中,有一个吐槽声却格外显眼,“精彩,太精彩了！今年的春晚,这是我活了20多年看的最好的一次新闻联播。它摒弃了惯常新闻联播单一的口播加图像形式,集歌曲,舞蹈,小品,vcr等形式于一体。深入浅出的宣传了党的好政策,国家欣欣向荣,人民安居乐业,是新闻宣传的又一次创新型突破,入脑入心,深刻践行了三贴近原则,值得所有新闻宣传战线同志们学习领会！” weibo promulgator: 微博发布者: Zhang Ye. 张烨。 Under piece look, is startled is the beauty! 段子手们一看之下,都惊为天人！ „Fuck this is ridicule!” “我草这才是吐槽啊！” „Teacher Zhang shone!” “张老师又亮了！” „News broadcast?” “新闻联播？” „Hahahahaha!” “哈哈哈哈哈！” „A others party, made you talk into the news broadcast well feeding! Ha Ha!” “人家好好一个晚会,怎么让你说成新闻联播了喂！哈哈！” „This ridicule, real his mother god!” “这吐槽,真他妈神了！” „Tonight, Teacher Zhang must offend a group of people!” “今晚,张老师又得得罪一批人了！” Several minutes later, Host started to play to the antithetical couplet. 过了几分钟,主持人开始玩上对对联了。 This Host sets the topic, „national happy Xiang Rong.” 这个主持人出题,“国家欣欣向荣。” Chen Ye to the second line, „common people enjoys a good and prosperous life.” 陈野对下联,“百姓安居乐业。” At this time, Zhang Ye sent Weibo: „Told you a good news, told you a good news, can persist in seeing this year's CCTV Spring Festival comrades, ridge that next year could not have passed absolutely!” 就在这时候,张烨又发微薄了:“告诉你们一个好消息,告诉你们一个好消息,能坚持看完今年央视春晚的同志们,明年绝对没有过不去的坎儿！” „Hahaha!” “哈哈哈！” „Smiled!” “笑死了！” „Makes you offend Zhang Ye! Look!” “让你们得罪张烨啊！看！” „Puff Hahaha, I decided that did not look at Spring Festival, my Zhang Ye Weibo celebrated the new year!” “噗哈哈哈,我决定不看春晚了,我就张烨的微薄过年了！” After next Program had finished, the Host team came out, thank the leader, thank audience these many years did not leave not abandoned, thanked industrious payout of Spring Festival Program group. 当下一个节目结束后,主持人团队又出来了,感谢领导,感谢观众这么多年的不离不弃,又感谢了一下春晚节目组的辛勤付出。 Almost is simultaneously, Zhang Ye ridicule came out, „thanks, everybody should thank this year's Spring Festival Program group, is you make me realize that the one's own mistake, tonight, we have owed previous, on previous, in a previous Spring Festival deep apology to sorry!” 几乎是同时,张烨的吐槽又出来了,“感谢,大家都应该感谢今年的春晚节目组,是你们让我认识到了自己的错误,今晚,我们欠上届、上上届、上上上届春晚一个深深的道歉对不起！” „Sorry? Puff!” “对不起？噗！” „I am not whoops good!” “哎呦我不行了！” „Zhang Ye too bad!” “张烨太损了啊！” „Has smiled to faint in front of the computer! Hahahaha!” “已经笑晕在电脑前！哈哈哈哈！” „Yes, we owe a previous Spring Festival apology! Initially should not scold their!” “是的,咱们都欠上届春晚一个道歉！当初不应该骂他们的啊！” „You must be so funny!” “你们要不要这么逗啊！” „Has a look at level that others Teacher Zhang harms others, you are not really good!” “看看人家张老师损人的水平,你们真不行啊！” „Nonsense, by harming others Kungfu, who can compare with Teacher Zhang?” “废话,论损人的功夫,谁能跟张老师比？” „fucking awesome! Critical moment, must look at Teacher Zhang!” “牛-逼！关键时刻,还是得看张老师的啊！” Many piece were then sincerely convinced, „is really Zhang Ye, the style and eloquence is the specialized levels, with our these amateur piece completely is not one horizontal!” 很多段子手们这下都心服口服了,“果然是张烨,文笔和口才都是专业级的,跟咱们这些业余的段子手完全不是一个水平的啊！” Piece, high under stands sentences. 段子一出,高下立判。 Tonight, Zhang Ye and people had a good time together, change to join the ridicule army, and directly became the leader of piece, the incisiveness of ridicule display, has put out the new altitude, has put out the new realm! 今晚,张烨与民同乐,摇身一变加入了吐槽大军,并且直接成为了段子手们的领军人物,将吐槽发挥的淋漓尽致,吐出了新高度,吐出了新境界！ Spring Festival live broadcast continues. 春晚直播继续。 Zhang Ye ridicule is also continuing! 张烨的吐槽也在继续！ Host each words can be grasped a point by him, each Program each detail can be turned flowered ridicule by Zhang Ye. Innumerable piece early „work suspension”, all looked that Zhang Ye there the first second of Spring Festival starting, ridicule to the last second that Spring Festival had finished! Naturally, there is Zhang Ye not to have ridicule, for example Zhang Yuanqi, for example Zhang Xia, for example Ci Xiufang Sketch Program, as long as is the relations of Zhang Ye understanding is good, he has not spoken any words, since this male servant has been such...... To person not to matter! 主持人的每句话都能被他抓住槽点,每一个节目每一个细节都能被张烨翻着花儿地吐槽。无数段子手们早都已经“停工”了,就全看张烨在那里从春晚开始的第一秒钟,吐槽到了春晚结束的最后一秒钟！当然,也有张烨没有吐槽的,比如章远棋,比如张霞,比如慈秀芳的小品节目,但凡是张烨认识的关系不错的,他都没有说任何话,这厮一直以来都是这么的……对人不对事！ The people smile double with laughter! 民众笑得前仰后合！ Zhang Ye family member also dumbfounded . 张烨的家里人也哭笑不得。 Mother said: „Doesn't son, you eat the stuffed dumpling attended to is sending weibo? Are you so how bored?” 老妈道:“儿子,你连饺子都不吃就顾着发微博啊？你怎么这么无聊？” Zhang Ye is full of energy, „you just know that I so have been bored!” 张烨却精神抖擞,“您刚知道啊,我一直都这么无聊！” Three younger sisters anxious to stir up trouble, „brother, comes one again! Comes one again!” 三妹妹唯恐天下不乱,“哥,再来一个！再来一个！” Zhang Ye said: „Has sent one, gives me to select to praise!” 张烨道:“又发了一个,去给我点赞！” „Receives! Hahahaha!” “收到！哈哈哈哈！” ...... …… Spring Festival finished. 春晚结束了。 When the people of Director group want to access the net to look at the netizens and people's echo to this Spring Festival, opens weibo that moment, including Chief Director and Xu Yipeng and other vice- Chief Director and staff...... Was silly!! 当导演组的人想上网看一看网友和民众对这次春晚的反响,打开微博的那一刻,连总导演和徐一鹏等几个副总导演与工作人员……都傻了！！ What is this? 这是什么？ What is this? 这都是什么？ The people almost put out an old blood! 众人差点吐出一口老血！ Zhang Ye! Fuck - you - big - master -! 张烨！我-草-你-大-爷-啊！ Your his mother also too wicked you! 你他妈也太缺德了啊你！ Zhang Ye this successive over a hundred ridicule and weibo brush the screen, really the people of Spring Festival Director group being startled! More than 100! You will participate in Capital City Spring Festival live broadcast obviously tomorrow, your one pile of matters are obviously busy, Celebrity of your such major suit, did his mother eve of the Lunar New Year the evening actually such have leisure the heart to defend in front of the television has spent evening's time ridicule our Spring Festival? The people of Spring Festival Director group shouted'mother-fucker'!! 张烨这一连上百条的吐槽和微博刷屏,真的把春晚导演组的人给惊到了！100多条啊！明明你明天就去参加京城春晚的直播了,明明你丫一堆事情要忙,你一个这么大牌儿的明星,他妈大年三十儿晚上竟然这么有闲心地守在电视机前花了一晚上的时间吐槽我们春晚？春晚导演组的人都一个个骂起娘来！！ This is smelly rogue! 这就是个臭-流-氓啊！ A class that in Entertainment Circle most cheats - bum! 娱乐圈里最坑人的一个流-氓啊！ ...... …… 【Airplane changed, can only tomorrow return to Beijing, after going back, writes well!】 【飞机改签了,只能明天回北京,回去后好好写！】 ...... ……