Online. 网上。 Looks at live broadcast of Crosstalk big game, countless people are dumbfounded! 看着相声大赛的直播,无数人目瞪口呆！ „Teacher Zhang made a determined effort!” “张老师发狠了！” „Ha Ha, this group of people are bad luck!” “哈哈,这帮人要倒霉！” „This was Teacher Zhang provoking anger!” “这是把张老师给惹恼了啊！” „Zhang Ye, if class - bum gets up, the space world no one can block!” “张烨要是流-氓起来,天上天下谁也拦不住啊！” „Good! Scolded well! Vents spleen! In the society that many broken matters have not had a bad effect on the audience, how Teacher Zhang Ye said that Crosstalk isn't good? Like mad?” “牛！骂得好！解气啊！社会上那么多破事儿都没带坏观众,怎么张烨老师说个相声就不行了？就要死要活了？” „Top Zhang Ye!” “顶张烨！” „Spoke in my mind!” “说到我心坎上了！” ...... …… On the spot. 现场。 Audiences is also very excited. 观众们情绪也很激动。 Zhang Ye said: „If Crosstalk can have such big might, that also studies any missile, studies any nuclear weapon, wants any army, made one basket of Crosstalk actors to say Crosstalk directly in the past, whom caught to extinguish who!” 张烨道:“如果相声能有这么大威力,那还研究什么导弹啊,研究什么核武器啊,要什么军队啊,直接弄一筐相声演员过去说相声,逮谁灭谁！” Below applauds again and again! 下面叫好连连！ „Good!” “好！” „Said well!” “说得好！” Zhang Ye continues saying: „Certain people always like hanging vulgarly on the mouth, this can appear their loftiness, the upper circles of society said the person to be vulgar, that is holds is installing clearly silly, the experts said the person to be vulgar, that is the east wind broken...... I broken than the east wind!” In the bursting out laughing sound of audience, he said: „The Crosstalk actor said others to be vulgar, this is envies! Envy! Hates!” 张烨继续道:“某些人总喜欢把低俗挂在嘴上,这才能显出他们的高雅,上流社会说人低俗,那是揣着明白装糊涂,专家学者说人低俗,那是东风破……我比东风还破！”在观众的捧腹声中,他道:“相声演员说别人低俗,这是羡慕！嫉妒！恨！” The applause begins! 掌声再起！ „Hahaha!” “哈哈哈！” „yi!!” “咿！！” These Crosstalk artist almost motherfucker! 那些相声艺术家都差点骂娘！ That group of collectives have resisted the Zhang Ye Crosstalk big game player, air/Qi heavily! 那帮集体抵制过张烨的相声大赛参赛选手,也都一个个气得不轻！ Yao Jiancai said with a smile: „Only then among the colleagues is * the bare hatred.” 姚建才笑道:“只有同行之间才是*裸的仇恨。” Zhang Ye said: „I have a poem, writes is the Crosstalk present situation.” 张烨道:“我有一首诗,写的就是相声界的现状。” Yao Jiancai said: „You can read.” 姚建才道:“您可以念一念。” Zhang Ye discussed: „Several nine deep winters hopes that spring - light, hopes late at night before morning sun......” this verset Zhang Ye, has said that calling eight to hope that spoke of here, many have listened to the audiences actually together loudly recited, Zhang Ye also slowed down recited the rhythm, read with everybody together! 张烨念道:“数九隆冬盼春-光,三更半夜盼朝阳……”这首小诗张烨以前说过,叫八盼,说到这里,好多听过的观众们竟然都跟着一起大声朗诵上了,张烨也不禁放慢了朗诵节奏,跟着大家一起念！ People: „Beautiful face moon/month appearance hopes the rich person!” 众人:“花容月貌盼大款！” People: „At ease two - milk hopes class - bum!” 众人:“闲散的二-奶盼流-氓！” People: „Night alone wolf hopes demoness!” 众人:“夜独的豺狼盼女鬼！” Ten people...... 十个人…… 50 people...... 50个人…… 100 individuals...... 100个人…… The people recited, this scene appeared quite magnificent! 众人吟诵,这场面显得相当壮观！ „Single old man hopes the aunt!” “单身的老头盼大娘！” „Acts in a play to hope can win a prize!” “演戏盼着能得奖！” Last, Zhang Ye and everybody shouts to shout together: „Said that Crosstalk is hoping...... Death! With! Ok!” Then, all people are tacit Ha Ha laugh wildly, under stage to go on stage simply coordination was good, plays very happily! 最后一句,张烨和大家一起扯着嗓子喊道:“说相声盼着……死！同！行！”然后,所有人都默契得哈哈狂笑,台上台下简直配合的太好了,玩得非常开心！ Yao Jiancai talked about with interest: „Good, this was also too complete!” 姚建才乐道:“好嘛,这也太齐了！” Before Zhang Ye, that this poem has scolded Literature, is very famous, is singlish, many people looked at two to carry, this had such magnificent one! 张烨以前那这诗骂过文学界,很出名,也朗朗上口,好多人看过两遍就能背下来了,这才有了这么壮观的一幕！ But Zhang Ye and audiences were amusement, the people of these Crosstalk were actually mad almost bite, Zhang Ye you - big - master! You scolded us, but can also lead the audience to scold us together? Your five lines of wicked you! This group of common people are also! You create a disturbance! 可张烨和观众们是玩乐呵了,那些相声界的人却都气得差点咬人,张烨你-大-爷！你骂完了我们,还得带着观众一起骂我们？你五行缺德吧你！这帮老百姓也是！你们跟着起什么哄啊！ Zhang Ye said: „What is lofty? What is vulgar?” 张烨道:“什么是高雅？什么是低俗？” Yao Jiancai said: „Now the online many people are also discussing this.” 姚建才道:“现在网上好多人也在讨论这个。” Zhang Ye said: „We had the Crosstalk actor saying that listening to the symphony to be lofty, listening to the network song to be vulgar.” 张烨道:“我们有相声演员说了,听交响乐高雅,听网络歌曲低俗。” „Hi.” Yao Jiancai shakes the head. “嗨。”姚建才摇头。 Zhang Ye: „Listens to Celebrity to sing false loftily, looked that the network original is vulgar!” 张烨:“听明星假唱高雅,看网络原创低俗！” Yao Jiancai said with a smile: „This noisy.” 姚建才笑道:“这闹的。” Zhang Ye: „Looked that person - body - skill - technique is lofty, the couple said that yellow - color joke is vulgar!” Said: „Drinks the coffee to be lofty, eats garlic...... Vulgar!” 张烨:“看人-体-艺-术高雅,两口子说黄-色笑话低俗！”紧接着道:“喝咖啡高雅,吃大蒜……低俗！” „yi!” “咿！” The audiences all laugh, they saw certainly yesterday's Tang Dazhang and his apprentice said the Zhang Ye work like eating the garlic online unbearably vulgar! 观众全哈哈大笑,他们当然看到了昨天唐大章和他一个徒弟在网上说张烨的作品像吃了大蒜一样俗不可耐！ Zhang Ye scolded: „Extraordinary personality taught that we said...... Goes to him - milk - milk son!” 张烨骂道:“伟人教导我们说……去他-奶-奶个崽儿吧！” Yao Jiancai said: „Which extraordinary personality has spoken this saying?” 姚建才啊道:“哪个伟人说过这话啊？” „My uncle.” Zhang Ye said. “我二舅。”张烨道。 „Good!” “好！” „Hahaha!” “哈哈哈！” „Goes to him - milk - milk -!” “去他-奶-奶-的！” The audiences also scolded! 观众们也跟着骂上了！ Zhang Ye said: „I reiterated that lofty, is not...... he who installs” scolds with emphasis: „Grandson is an attire!” 张烨道:“我再次重申,高雅啊,不是装出来的……”他加重语气骂道:“孙子才是装的！” Tang Dazhang was in an uncontrollable rage, air/Qi wants to leave the field! 唐大章怒不可遏,气得都想离场了！ Other Crosstalk actors are first time had also seen at the Crosstalk competition scene said the Crosstalk person! 其他相声演员也是头一次在相声比赛现场见到过这么说相声的人！ Zhang Ye scolded continuously: „Has that free time, you said that you said the tongue twister does practice the basic skills to be good? To saying Crosstalk, this is the proper business.” 张烨连续骂道:“有那个闲工夫,你说你们说说绕口令练练基本功好不好啊？对说相声而言,这才是正事。” Yao Jiancai nods: „This actually.” 姚建才点头:“这倒是。” Zhang Ye more said that more comes the interest, „sometimes I looked that they install me to come air/Qi, the day has well well, day in day out? A on bus, pushing with small sour pear, his face is green, but must pester to death to stretch an English to report. You know you!” 张烨越说越来兴致,“我有时候看他们装我都来气,好好日子好好过吧,一天到晚都怎么了？一上公共汽车,挤的跟酸梨似的,他脸都绿的,还得死乞白赖地抻出一张英文报来。你认识么你！” The audiences laugh: „Hahaha!” 观众大笑:“哈哈哈！” Zhang Ye said: „Near street is also a speech, in half - country words, half English!” 张烨道:“马路边儿也是一说话,一半儿中-国话,一半儿英语！” Yao Jiancai: „Right?” 姚建才:“是吗？” Zhang Ye: „Buys the apple is also, hello, Uncle, my look look, your this is apple two money seven jin (0.5 kg)?” The voice changes, „you bought the rotten apple your also cocky anything! Only is this goods!” 张烨:“买苹果也是,hello啊,大爷啊,我look一look啊,您这apple是两块钱七斤么？”嗓音一变,“你都买烂苹果了你还得瑟什么呀！净是这个货！” The Yao Jiancai smile, „has actually.” 姚建才微笑,“倒是有。” Zhang Ye said: „A that belt Chinese rhubarb chain!” 张烨道:“还有那带一大黄链子的！” The people with high aspirations suddenly discovered that a front 40-year-old Crosstalk actor, brought a big gold chain today, shining on the neck, this person also resists one of the Zhang Ye main armies on weibo, is very big in the Crosstalk reputation, is not shallower than the Tang Dazhang qualifications, is the high level of Crosstalk association. 有心人忽然发现,前排的一个40多岁的相声演员,今天就带了一个大金链子,明晃晃的在脖子上呢,这人在微博上也是抵制张烨的主力军之一,在相声界名头很大,不比唐大章资历浅,是相声协会的一名高层。 Yao Jiancai asked: „Gold chain?” 姚建才问道:“金链子？” Zhang Ye curls the lip: „Do not perspire, perspiration vest dirty!” 张烨撇嘴:“别出汗,一出汗背心儿准脏！” Yao Jiancai humph said: „Falls color? It is not gold/metal?” 姚建才嚯道:“掉色儿呀？不是金的吗？” Zhang Ye damages saying: „Plastic, pours the copper!” 张烨损道:“塑料的,注铜！” Yao Jiancai loses says with a smile: „Good, this also too imitation!” 姚建才失笑道:“好嘛,这也太山寨了！” Under that hung the Crosstalk actor face of gold chain all of a sudden has become the pig liver color! Wishes one could to put out an old blood to exit! Has not thought that Zhang Ye scolded on him! 底下那挂金链子的相声演员脸一下子就成了猪肝儿的颜色！恨不得吐出一口老血出去！没想到张烨骂到他头上了！ Zhang Ye continues to scold: „Also some people, oh, I have bought a shampoo, I must arrive in Hong Kong rustle the shop. Does a bit less you! You did not have the Teacher Yao hair to be many!” 张烨继续骂:“还有人,哎呀,我买了个洗发水,我必须要到香港沙沙店。少来吧你！你还没姚老师头发多呢！” Because before Yao Jiancai , the time period making a movie need, shaved baldly, heard that said his speechless [say / way]: „Bald person? That also washes any head!” 姚建才因为前阵子拍戏需要,剃了光头,闻言他无语道:“秃子啊？那还洗什么头啊！” Zhang Ye said: „What said is this matter.” 张烨道:“说的是这个事儿啊。” Under, before three, scolded the Zhang Ye Crosstalk actors not to have the hair, heard this saying, almost the lu sleeve hits the person! 下头,有三个之前骂过张烨的相声演员都是没有头发的,闻得这话,也是差点撸袖子上去打人！ Also does not know how the photograph thinks, but also hit scene, possibly does not know live broadcast, therefore patted subconsciously! 也不知摄像是怎么想的,还把镜头打过去了一个,可能是知道不会直播吧,所以下意识地拍过去了！ On the large screen presented the expression of that three bald Crosstalk actors immediately! 大屏幕上顿时出现了那三个光头相声演员的表情！ The audiences looked that smiled to pull out! 观众们一看,都笑抽了！ „Hahahaha!” “哈哈哈哈！” „I am not whoops good!” “哎呦我不行了！” Zhang Ye is indifferently free: „Some person of pants were wet, non- told others saying that oh, ate the abalone to fall...... Your urination pants said urine pants!” 张烨淡然自若道:“还有人裤子湿了,非告诉人家说,哎呀,吃鲍鱼掉上的……你尿裤子就说尿裤子！” Yao Jiancai: „Hou!” 姚建才:“嚯！” Audiences: „Pū! Hahahaha!” 观众:“噗！哈哈哈哈！” Zhang Ye said: „That goods, here eats meal, I sign the list, that side customer service personnel said: Is unfair to the mister, cannot sign list. I swipe the card......” expression, Zhang Ye despise saying: „What calorie you drink the bowl wonton to brush you!” 张烨道:“还有那个货,这儿一吃饭完,我签单,那边服务员说:对不起先生,不能签单。那我刷卡……”语气一顿,张烨鄙视道:“你喝碗馄饨刷哪门子卡啊你！” Yao Jiancai was also happy: „Is the value is improper.” 姚建才也乐了:“是值不当的。” Zhang Ye: „Only this attire big tail wolf! Especially our lines said Crosstalk, day in day out requests this loftiness, that loftiness. Yesterday not? - Country Crosstalk met.” 张烨:“净这个装大尾巴狼的！尤其是我们这行说相声的,一天到晚都要求这个高雅,那个高雅。昨天不是吗？中-国相声界又开会了。” Yao Jiancai said suddenly: „Their this really will be industrious.” 姚建才眨眼道:“他们这会真勤。” Zhang Ye said with a smile: „That is, this group of people did not have the place to say Crosstalk, remaining met!” 张烨笑道:“那是,这帮人也没地方说相声,就剩下开会了！” Yao Jiancai said: „On there practiced the basic skills?” 姚建才道:“上那儿练基本功去了？” The audiences laugh! 观众大笑！ Zhang Ye said: „Afterward had an expert, the Crosstalk expert, Xu.” 张烨道:“后来有个专家,相声界专家,许某某。” Yao Jiancai said: „Don't experts dare to keep full name?” 姚建才道:“专家都不敢留全名儿啊？” Xu? 许某某？ Crosstalk Master allow Wenxiang? 相声大师许文祥？ Many audience spirits inspire! 好多观众都精神一振！ Zhang Ye said: „He makes on me the family|home go, said that on Comrade Little Zhang the family|home goes, what speaks to you are lofty and vulgar. Does not go appropriately, goes.” 张烨说道:“他让我上家去,说,小张同志上家去,给你讲一讲什么叫高雅和低俗。不去不合适,去吧。” Yao Jiancai um said: „Must go.” 姚建才嗯道:“得去。” Zhang Ye said: „Passing through the gate, the person in the home on the wall is also hanging antithetical couplet, the cultural aura is very thick the sand beach to lie for two -and-a-half years, today the wave hits me to stand up from failure.” 张烨道:“一进门儿,呵,人家屋里墙上还挂着对联儿,文化气息很浓啊沙滩一卧两年半,今日浪打我翻身。” Yao Jiancai doubts: „?” 姚建才疑惑:“哦？” Zhang Ye said surprisedly: „I look, this is tortoise!” 张烨惊奇道:“我一看,这是个王八呀！” Over a thousand audiences doubled with laughter smile insanely! Damages! Real his mother damages! 上千个观众都前仰后合地笑疯了！损啊！真他妈损啊！ Following allow Wenxiang listens, body in a flash! The beard gave to explode with rage! 下面的许文祥听完,身子一晃！胡子都给气炸了！ Other Crosstalk actors and artists all have also exploded the pot! Shit! Zhang Ye your real his mother is everyone dares to scold! allow Master do you also dare to arrange?? 其他相声演员和艺术家们也全炸了锅！我靠！张烨你真他妈是谁都敢骂啊！许大师你也敢编排？？ Yao Jiancai oh said: „Expert good guess language.” 姚建才唉道:“专家好猜个谜语。” Zhang Ye said: „In person each family on the desk also puts these two books, is very abstruse, looked that the learned lofty public figure looks.” 张烨道:“人家家里书桌上还放这两本书,都很深奥,一看就是有学问的高雅人士才看的。” Yao Jiancai asked: „What book?” 姚建才问:“什么书啊？” Zhang Ye breaks off the finger, „one is «Xinhua Zidian».” 张烨掰手指头,“一本是《新华字典》。” The Yao Jiancai nod said: „In dictionary may have big knowledge, studied thoroughly not to be easy, the second book?” 姚建才点头道:“字典里可有大学问,学透了不容易,第二本呢？” Zhang Ye said: „«How second is Looking up in a dictionary»!” 张烨说道:“第二本是《怎么查字典》！” Yao Jiancai faints: „Good, this gathers will not be looking the dictionary!” 姚建才晕倒:“好嘛,这位合着连字典都不会看啊！” Audiences: „Pū Hahaha!” 观众:“噗哈哈哈！” Zhang Ye does not have idea saying: „Then the senior artist starts to give me to attend class, this, is certainly lofty, should not be vulgar, we have played the loftiness of life, we should not be vulgar. Said for quite a while, does not have including sentence coherent speech, end added that, Little Zhang should not be happy that you can not be silent, but we will make you silent quickly, we will write the anonymous letter, will file the report, does our metropolis, know?” 张烨没辙道:“然后老艺术家开始给我上课,这个啊,一定要高雅,不应该低俗,我们玩儿了命的高雅,我们就不要低俗。说了半天,连句整话都没有,末了还说,啊,小张你别不高兴,你可以不沉默,但我们很快会让你沉默的,我们会写匿名信,会打报告,我们都会,知道么？” Calumniates somebody to superiors? 打小报告？ Zhang Ye they were warned, not because of this! 张烨他们被警告,可不就是因为这个么！ The audiences create a disturbance, „yi!!” 观众们起哄不已,“咿！！” The person complexion of Crosstalk again changes! 相声界的人脸色再变！ Zhang Ye is studying the words: „Senior artist also language focus long said that you possibly do not understand me, you did not understand that now my you scolded me, after you understood me,...... You must kill me!” 张烨学着话道:“老艺术家还语重心长的说,你可能不理解我,你现在不了解我你才骂我,你了解我之后啊……你得弄死我！” Audiences: „Hahahahaha!” 观众:“哈哈哈哈哈！” Yao Jiancai said: „Hou, he also knows that he incurs to hate!” 姚建才道:“嚯,他也知道他招恨啊！” Zhang Ye said: „Others added that loftiness that we, must try hard, constantly raises, after striving, downward looked from Moon that looks to disappear including Earth, sees this group said Crosstalk with the outer space in lofty!” 张烨道:“人家还说,我们呐,要努力的高雅,一味的拔高儿,力争以后啊,从月球上往下看,连地球都看不见了,就看见这帮说相声的跟太空上高雅呢！” On returns to see the Great Wall! 上回还能看见长城呢！ Does this chapter of your mother look to disappear including Earth? 这回你妈连地球都看不见了？ In the field several thousand people have smiled! 场内好几千人已经笑得不行了！ Yao Jiancai also hey: „Did Earth give the lane not to have? This group of people suffice to be restless.” 姚建才也嘿了一声:“地球都给弄没了？这帮人真够能闹腾的。” Zhang Ye sighed angrily said: „After coming out, my heart said that - country group of Crosstalk actors, each their son shoot dead one, absolutely does not have the miscarriages of justice!” 张烨叹气道:“出来之后啊,我就心说,中-国这帮相声演员啊,每俩人儿枪毙一个,绝对没有冤假错案！”