Who this is stupid? 这个沙雕是谁？ Sees the Deadpool instance, the Parker's first idea was not the status exposed, but shocked in the Deadpool stupid makings, the sparkle was eye-catching, he made second no one to dare to make first. 看到死侍的瞬间,帕克第一想法不是身份暴露了,而是震惊于死侍的沙雕气质,闪耀夺目,他做第二没人敢做第一。 „Who are you?” “你是谁？” „I am Wade Wilson, super heroic team ‚x special service units’ the team leader, the fans called me for Sir Deadpool. Parker, from you by that moment that since the spider bites, we are observing you, congratulates you, you are a qualified hero, having the qualifications becomes one of us.” “我是韦德・威尔逊,超级英雄团队‘x特工队’的队长,粉丝们都称呼我为死侍大人。帕克,从你被蜘蛛咬到的那一刻起,我们就在观察你,恭喜你,你是个合格的英雄,有资格成为我们中的一员。” Deadpool awesome rumbling is saying, extracts the chair from the desk, curls upwards one leg on the other to sit in front of Parker, but also swings swings. 死侍牛哔轰轰说着,从书桌边抽出椅子,翘着二郎腿坐在帕克面前,还摇啊摇的。 „, This chair......” “呃,这张椅子……” „I know, this is your property, relax, we are the super heroic teams, no one will take your chair.” Deadpool said that while made an effort to swing the buttocks: „I have not seen compared with this more rotten chair, but I like, creak, as if it was conquered by me.” “我知道,这是你的财产,放心,我们是超级英雄团队,没人会拿你的椅子。”死侍一边说,一边用力摇了摇屁股:“我从没见过比这更烂的椅子,不过我喜欢,咯吱咯吱的,仿佛它被我征服了。” „No, my meaning is this chair cannot......” “不,我的意思是这张椅子不能……” „What can't? Makes an effort? Sorry, I like making an effort! Quack, I can also make an effort!” “不能什么？用力吗？抱歉,我就喜欢用力！嘎嘎,我还能更用力！” Bang! 嘭！ „!! help , helpme! My buttocks, I could not feel my buttocks!” “啊！！help,helpme！我的屁股,我感觉不到我的屁股了！啊啊啊” The wooden chair in disrepair after many years sat by Deadpool, a section of chair leg pen attacks on the buttocks, loves him everywhere to sway back and forth, exudes the rending pitiful yell sound. 年久失修的木质椅子被死侍坐断,一截椅子腿笔直插在屁股上,疼得他满地打滚,发出撕心裂肺的惨叫声。 „......” “……” Parker shrugs, the despondent mood changes for the better much. 帕克耸了耸肩,抑郁的心情好转不少。 „Hi, the good neighbor of New York residents, you to be laughing foolishly anything, hurries to help me.” Deadpool buttocks to Parker, prays for rescue, while mumbled. “嗨,纽约市民的好邻居,你在傻笑什么,赶紧过来帮我。”死侍将屁股对向帕克,一边求救,一边哼哼唧唧。 (..) (。。) Parker is stern-faced, fell into intertwined and struggled, the just heart kept him from neglecting the victim, extended the helping hands, closely gripped the chair leg. 帕克一脸凝重,陷入了纠结和挣扎中,正义心让他无法忽视受害者,伸出了援助之手,紧紧握住椅子腿。 „Hi, Parker, what's all this about, how did you guard a door to do this?” The landlords walk angrily, saw that the picture in room stares immediately. “嗨,帕克,这是怎么回事,你怎么把门搞成了这样？”房东怒气冲冲走进来,看到屋内的画面顿时一愣。 (??) X1 (??)x1 ( ;) X2 (;)x2 „Sorry, disturbed! Parker, the maintenance cost will buckle from your house rent deposit,...... you do not need to worry that I will say, in fact, I do not discriminate against anything , next time sound slightly.” “抱歉,打扰了！帕克,维修费会从你的房租押金里面扣,还有……你不用担心我会说出去,事实上,我不歧视什么,真的,下次动静小一点。” The landlord complexion changes, smiles awkwardly, does intentionally covers the critical part calmly, against thief keeps highly vigilant, draws back little to the room. 房东脸色微变,尴尬笑了笑,故作镇定捂住要害部位,防贼似的保持高度警惕,一点点退向屋外。 „Does not need, the maintenance cost I come.” At this moment, Luo Su appears in the entrance, pulls out one volume of Franklin from the pocket, selects five to throw in the corridor. “不需要了,维修费我来出。”就在这时,罗素出现在门口,从口袋里掏出一卷富兰克林,点出五张扔在走廊里。 „God blesses you, the generous mister, how this room is casual you, ok!” Landlord swoops picks up five bills, for fear that Luo Su regretted, whiz one vanishes in the corridor end. “上帝保佑您,慷慨的先生,这间屋子随便您怎么样,都行！”房东一个飞扑捡起五张钞票,生怕罗素后悔,嗖的一下消失在走廊尽头。 On the speed, he has to become the potential of super hero! 就速度而言,他有成为超级英雄的潜质！ „I remember you, you are on the train that......” “我记得你,你是列车上那位……” Sees Luo Su, Parker looks the happy expression immediately, diligently how organizes the language actually not to know to open the mouth, because he has not known the Luo Su name. 看到罗素,帕克立即面露喜色,努力组织语言却不知怎么开口,因为他至今还不知道罗素姓甚名谁。 „Help , helping me quickly.” Deadpool both hands support, transfers the buttocks, moved toward Luo Su. “help,快来帮帮我。”死侍双手撑地,调转屁股,朝罗素挪了过去。 „Does not have the issue, I like helping others.” Luo Su hehe smiles, accelerates the approach, leaves behind the remnant shadow same place, flies to trample on the chair leg. “没问题,我喜欢帮助别人。”罗素呵呵一笑,加速助跑,原地留下残影,飞起一脚踹在椅子腿上。 Pū! 噗哧！ The picture is too beautiful, Parker covered the small and weak eye no use, the ear heard a sad and shrill pitiful yell, later, in room then thorough peaceful. 画面太美,帕克捂住了弱小无助的眼睛,耳边听到一声凄厉的惨叫,之后,屋子里便彻底安静了下来。 ...... …… In the room, Deadpool bends down to lie on the ground, the entire head card enters in the wooden wall, calmly did not say a word, perhaps died. 房间里,死侍俯身趴在地上,整颗脑袋卡进木质墙壁中,静静地一言不发,或许是死了。 Luo Su chatted with Parker, the atmosphere was good, neglects some stupid, was very harmonious. 罗素则和帕克闲聊起来,气氛还不错,忽视某个沙雕,挺融洽的。 „So-called x special service units, are one specially the heroic squad comprised of ultra those who are able, what corner that in wind blood is a team leader, you can call him Deadpool, can call him Wade, stupid is also good.” “所谓x特工队,是一支专门由超能者组成的英雄小队,墙角那个正在飙血的是队长,你可以叫他死侍,也可以叫他韦德,沙雕也行。” Parker scratches the head: „, How should I call you?” 帕克挠挠头:“呃,我该怎么称呼你？” „Haven't I said?” “我没说过吗？” „......” “……” „Ok, I said again one time, I called Luo Su. Forgetful did Spider-Man, this time record clearly?” “算了,我再说一次,我叫罗素。健忘的蜘蛛侠,这次记清楚了吗？” „......” “……” The Parker silent moment, to be honest, he is uninteresting about this so-called x special service units, the opposite party strength persuades to quit, making him feel that not bump to wonderfully. 帕克沉默片刻,老实说,他对这个所谓的x特工队毫无兴趣,对方实力劝退,让他觉得别碰为妙。 „Our x special service units are different from other super heroic organizations, without fixed domain, but is the shuttle in each universe, where has evil, where we appear. Yes, we are just to subdue|grams......, just towerman!” “我们x特工队不同于其他超级英雄组织,没有固定的地盘,而是穿梭在各个宇宙,哪里有邪恶,我们就出现在哪里。是的,我们就是正义克……咳咳,正义守望者！” „That considers as finished, I do not want to leave New York.” Parker shakes the head the rejection, the shuttle world talks nonsense very much, but he believes: „Moreover, is only a New York city, has made me exhausted, not to mention other places.” “那算了,我不想离开纽约。”帕克摇头拒绝,穿梭世界很扯淡,但他信了:“而且,只是纽约一个城市,就已让我精疲力竭,更别提其他地方了。” „All right, we do not demand, when your which day thought through, can make my phone call, awaits respectfully momentarily.” “没事,我们不强求,等你哪天想通了,可以打我电话,随时恭候。” Luo Su is saying, grasps the Deadpool two legs, entrains forcefully from the wall his head, beckons with the hand toward Parker, drags Deadpool to vanish on like this in the corridor. 罗素说着,抓起死侍两条腿,硬生生将他的脑袋从墙里拽出来,朝帕克摆摆手,就这么拖着死侍消失在走廊里。 After two minutes, Parker slow god, a face is dumbfounded: „Damn, you leave me the telephone actually!” 两分钟之后,帕克缓过神,一脸目瞪口呆:“该死,你倒是把电话留给我啊！” When Parker wind runs out of the block of flats generally, could not have found Luo Su and Deadpool, he is also thinking seeks help from the opposite party, looks for Mary Jian together! 等到帕克风儿一般冲出公寓楼,已经找不到罗素和死侍了,他还想着向对方求助,一起寻找玛丽・简呢！ „I really silly......” “我真傻……” ...... …… „I am really silly!” “我真傻！” Deadpool covers the buttocks to sit in a building rooftop, is opening to Luo Su crazily spurts: „You use the shoddy performing skill to tell Parker, the teams leader of x special operations forces team are stupid, he insane will join us!” 死侍捂着屁股坐在一栋大楼天台上,对着罗素疯狂开喷:“你用拙劣的演技告诉帕克,x特战队的队长是个沙雕,他疯了才会加入我们！” „But you are stupid!” “可你本来就是沙雕啊！” „That is the false appearance that I deceive the enemy, generally, I am not stupid......” Deadpool speaking of this, covers the face to sob: Parker who „I most love did not have, without him joins, x special operations forces teams that but also forms. I do not play, I must go home!” “那是我迷惑敌人的假象,一般情况下,我不是沙雕……”死侍说到这,捂着脸抽泣起来:“我最爱的帕克没了,没有他加入,还组建个屁的x特战队。我不玩了,我要回家！” „Wait!” “等等！” Luo Su shoulder that holds down Deadpool: „Waiter, you misunderstood, actually just all were I intentionally for it, for was makes Parker be dead set on to join us.” 罗素一把按住死侍的肩膀:“伙计,你误会了,其实刚刚一切是我故意为之,为的就是让帕克死心塌地加入我们。” „Do you make me stupid intentionally?” “你故意让我成为一个沙雕？” „Yes, stupid!” “是的,沙雕！” Does not wait for Deadpool to respond, Luo Su said ill-humoredly: „Wade, you are stupid, hidden with its camouflage, injures by cheating Parker to enter the team, demonstrates would rather directly. x special service units more have no merit to speak, Parker more looks down upon you, the later plan is smoother.” 不等死侍反应过来,罗素没好气道:“韦德,你本身就是个沙雕,与其伪装隐藏,坑骗帕克入队,倒不如直接展示出来。x特工队越是一无是处,帕克越是瞧不起你,之后的计划才越顺利。” „Sorry, I have not understood.” “抱歉,我没听懂。” „This does not blame you, after all you are stupid.” “这不怪你,毕竟你是个沙雕。” „Oh, these words I understood.” “哇哦,这句话我听懂了。” „......” “……” Looks Deadpool that is bewilderedly self-satisfied, the Luo Su corner of the eye pulled out pulling out, does not know that he is really silly, is feigning madness and playing dumb, disregards to come to the topic directly: „Human nature is unable to endure the fine thing to present the stain, but if from the beginning is it all the sunspot?” 看着莫名其妙得意起来的死侍,罗素眼角抽了抽,也不知他是真傻,还是在装疯卖傻,直接无视进入话题:“人性无法忍受美好的东西出现污点,可如果一开始它就全是黑点呢？” „Waiter, I understood.” “伙计,我懂了。” A Deadpool palm of the hand claps on the Luo Su thigh, called excitedly: „Because we passed rottenly, installs perfectly with it, makes Parker Parker to us desperate would rather from the beginning, then shows tall light side gradually. Like this he will change the first impression, feels x special operations forces teams actually also good, then changes little to our view, finally accepts us thoroughly.” 死侍一巴掌拍在罗素大腿上,兴奋地嗷嗷直叫:“因为我们烂透了,与其强装完美,倒不如一开始让帕克帕克对我们绝望,然后渐渐展现出高光的一面。这样他会改变第一印象,觉得x特战队其实还不错,然后一点点改变对我们看法,最后彻底接受我们。” „Right!” “没错！” „Luo Su, my good brothers, your tm is really a talent!” “罗素,我的好兄弟,你tm真是个天才！” „Un, your tm is also!” “嗯,你tm也是！” „” “哦啦啦” Deadpool feels the plan feasible, jumps and sings excitedly, after long time, he has gotten back one's composure, a face compels ignorant: „It is not right! The waiters, do we have tall light side?” 死侍觉得计划可行,兴奋地又跳又唱,半晌后他回过神,一脸懵逼:“不对呀！伙计,我们有高光的一面吗？” „...... Except for you, yes.” “呃……除了你,都是。” „......” “……” „Relax!” The Luo Su wisdom bead is grasping, is calm: „Parker is seeking for Doctor Octopus, because of his goddess Mary Jian......” “放心！”罗素智珠在握,沉稳道:“帕克在寻找章鱼博士,因为他的女神玛丽・简被……” „bluish green pond who wait/etc, where that Mary Jian comes, Parker's goddess should be I am right!” “等等,那个玛丽・简是哪来的碧池,帕克的女神应该是我才对！” „Wade, you must face the reality, Parker's orientation is very normal, he is impossible to fall in love with you.” “韦德,你得面对现实,帕克的取向很正常,他不可能爱上你。” „I, no matter!” “我不管！” Luo Su shows the whites of the eyes, is disinclined rubbish with him , to continue saying: „Parker and Doctor Octopus strength is equivalent, but in Doctor Octopus has Mary Jian to be the hostage, Parker is cautious about harming evildoers lest the innocent be hurt definitely cannot be victorious he, when the time comes both of us make a dazzling entrance, helping him reduce and solve the crisis.” 罗素翻了个白眼,懒得和他废话,继续说道:“帕克和章鱼博士实力相当,而章鱼博士手里有玛丽・简做人质,帕克投鼠忌器肯定打不过他,到时候我们俩闪亮登场,帮他化解危局。” Deadpool crazy nod: „A performance hero rescues beautiful, Parker will fall in love with me crazily, at the appointed time I invited him to enter the team, he had the admire shy two to agree.” 死侍疯狂点头:“上演一场英雄救美,帕克会疯狂爱上我,到时我邀请他入队,他心存爱慕扭捏两下就同意了。” „......” “……” Luo Su deeply inspires: „Wade, if you dare to interrupt again, I force in Doctor Octopus your body.” 罗素深吸一口气:“韦德,如果你再敢打岔,我就把章鱼博士塞进你身体里。” Deadpool puts the knee little darling to sit, lifted the hand to make the movement of zipper in the mouth, hinted itself rubbish. 死侍手放膝盖乖乖坐好,抬手在嘴边做了个拉拉链的动作,示意自己绝不废话。 „We help Parker rescue Mary Jian, making him owe the next favor, but this can only make him not good to reject us, from success invitation also almost crucial moment.” “我们帮助帕克救出玛丽・简,让他欠下一个人情,但这只能让他不好拒绝我们,距离成功邀请还差点火候。” Luo Su speaking of this dark smiles: „This needed the help of Mary Jian, the woman dedication was extremely strong, the hope becomes the well-known actor wholeheartedly. She needs the fresh flower, applause and flashing light, as well as big pile of praises, but these...... hmph hmph, Parker could not give her.” 罗素说到这阴阴一笑:“这就需要玛丽・简的帮助了,那女人事业心极强,一心渴望成为知名演员。她需要鲜花、掌声、闪光灯,以及一大堆赞美之词,而这些……哼哼,帕克都给不了她。” „In fact, Parker as a busy super hero, he minimum two people of time could not give Mary Jian, they must end sooner or later, the attack on love, will make Parker dejected......” “事实上,帕克作为一名忙碌的超级英雄,他连最起码的二人时间都给不了玛丽・简,他们两人迟早要完,爱情上的打击,会让帕克心灰意冷……” „At this time, was we appears, and invited him to enter the best moment of team!” “这时,就是我们出现,并邀请他入队的最佳时刻！” Deadpool falls into the happy fantasy of Luo Su knitting, hiss slid one to touch under the saliva, delivered the applause desperately: „Luo Su, I love you!” 死侍陷入罗素编织的美好幻想,嘶溜一声摸了下口水,死命送上掌声:“罗素,我爱你！” The Luo Su pressure the hand, hints Deadpool to be patient, supplemented one calm: „To prevent to plan to go wrong, I also prepared the second plan, that is...... the venom!” 罗素压压手,示意死侍稍安勿躁,淡定补充了一句:“为了防止计划出现偏差,我还准备了第二套方案,那就是……毒液！” Deadpool raises hand to vie to answer first: „Teacher Luo Su, I know, I know. Let Parker put on the venom, becomes one not by the anti-hero of moral restraint, can integrate us perfectly.” 死侍举手抢答:“罗素老师,我知道,我知道。让帕克穿上毒液,成为一名不受道德约束的反英雄,可以更加完美地融入我们。” Luo Su nods, shows the gratified smile of being a promising young man: „Wade, you grew.” 罗素点点头,露出孺子可教的欣慰笑容:“韦德,你成长了。” „, But this is I plans from the beginning!” “呃,可这就是我一开始的计划呀！” „......” “……” Luo Su coughs lightly: „Few idle talk, take the venom, now starts the second plan.” 罗素轻咳一声:“少废话,把毒液拿出来,现在就开始第二部计划。” „Wait, waiter, venom not in your there?” “等等,伙计,毒液不是在你那里吗？” „Well, in here?” “咦,什么时候在我这里了？” „......” “……” „Fuk!!” x2 “fuk！！”x2