Arrived the night, is situated Bai Village in level area hollow falls into quietly, occasionally has the woof to resound, the sound reverberates in the mountain valley, as if from remote place. 一到夜里,坐落在山坳坳里的白家村就陷入静谧中,偶尔有狗吠声响起,声音在山谷中回荡,仿佛来自遥远的地方。 The gruff block had the dinner, walks back and forth at home, restless, entangles Bai who mother is arriving at the next door, actually sees the door to shut tightly, room after comes the cold wind, rustlings to make noise, all does not have. 憨憨的墩子吃了晚饭,在家里走来走去,坐立不安,缠着妈妈来到隔壁的小白家,却见房门紧闭,屋后吹来寒风,瑟瑟作响,余者皆无。 The Bai Jianping family/home in village, the family of four sits together, Yang Yiting big belly, was looking at a Bai Zhiqiang quietly, seeing him looks serious, then swallows back in the words that in the belly ferments, remains silent. 村子里的白建平家,一家四口围坐在一起,杨怡挺着大肚子,悄悄瞄了一眼白志强,见他神情严肃,便把在肚子里酝酿的话咽了回去,保持沉默。 Family's atmosphere is somewhat depressing, the charcoal fire burns in the brazier, the door has not shut tightly, keeps a slit, the night wind blew, blown charcoal sparks/Mars scatters. 家里的氛围有些压抑,炭火在火盆中燃烧,房门没有紧闭,留了一条缝隙,夜风吹进来,吹的木炭火星四溅。 Bai Jianping big hand keeps off, blocks these sparks/Mars, the sound said low and deep: „I agree with your mother's opinion.” 白建平大手一挡,把这些火星挡住,声音低沉地说:“我同意你妈的意见。” Bai Zhiqiang complexion fluctuates, does not know that is thinking anything, has not said the agreement, had not said that did not agree. 白志强脸色变幻,不知道在想什么,既没说同意,也没说不同意。 But since had not agreed, then can understand for the silent rejection. He greeted with the parents last year, after Yang Yi belly big, asking the horse orchid to look after to the shen city help, but now, the mother decided that remained to take care of Teacher Jiang. 但既然没有同意,便可以理解为无声的拒绝。他去年就和爸妈打了招呼,杨怡肚子大了后,请马兰花到堔城帮忙照顾,但如今,老妈决定留下来照顾姜老师。 He sets out silent, returns to the room without consulting anybody, shuts tightly the door. 他沉默起身,径自回到房间,紧闭房门。 In the county hospital, little white sits near the hospital bed, spoke with the paternal grandmother, once for a while sang. 县城医院里,小白坐在病床边,和奶奶说话,时不时唱支歌。 Boss stretch/open said that she sang of pleasant to hear, her confidence was getting more and more full, liked singing more and more. 张老板说她唱歌好听,她的信心越来越足,也越来越喜欢唱歌了。 stretch/open Tan is truncating the apple, the paternal grandmother leans to look at him, suddenly asked: „Does Boss stretch/open, how you are and little white know?” 张叹在削苹果,奶奶侧头看了看他,忽然问道:“张老板,你是怎么和小白认识的？” stretch/open Tan said: „My family opened a night academy, gives shelter does not have the child who the Sir takes care in the evening, little white in this academy.” 张叹说:“我家开了一家深夜学园,收留晚上没有大人照顾的小孩子,小白就在这个学园里。” little white humph humph smiles, said that the small red horse is quite fun, many melon babies, have moe moe's mother threw the millet, has ignorant spoke story specially fierce journey journey, had hiahia Xier who liked laughing foolishly, had the naughty air packet to stir up trouble the fine pomegranate pomegranate, pest Luo Zikang...... 小白嚯嚯笑,说小红马好好玩,好多瓜娃子,有萌萌的妈妈丢了的小米,有懵懵的讲故事特别厉害的程程,有hiahia喜欢傻笑的喜儿,有淘气包惹事精的榴榴,还有讨厌鬼罗子康…… She counts the little friend in little red horse academy, loves to talk about, everyone can mention 12 point fun places. 她细数小红马学园的小朋友,津津乐道,每个人都能讲出一两点好玩的地方。 The paternal grandmother also asked simply several issues, finally said: „Thank you.” 奶奶又简单地问了几个问题,最后说:“谢谢你。” stretch/open Tan truncating the good apple slivers six petals, places in the dish, gives the paternal grandmother, „you're welcome, done is my matter in one's power.” 张叹把削好的苹果切成六瓣,摆放在碟子里,递给奶奶,“不用谢,做的都是我力所能及的事。” „For serveral days pressed you, you and your girlfriends were good people.” “这些天难为你们了,你和你女朋友都是好人。” The paternal grandmother cutting the good apple gave little white, little white with opening sighed the apple skin that must walk to truncate, exclaimed in surprise that can become one skewer in the apple skin unexpectedly continually, the eye shone. 奶奶把切好的苹果给了小白,小白跟张叹要走了削下来的苹果皮,惊叹于苹果皮竟然能连成一串,眼睛不禁放光。 She looks at little white, loved tenderly said: „My wife and children white/in vain is a good baby, she ominous is because lacks the security sense......” 她看着小白,怜爱地说:“我家小白是个好娃娃,她凶是因为缺乏安全感……” stretch/open Tan is listening earnestly, after the paternal grandmother said that silent moment, asked: „Can help me call the nurse?” 张叹认真听着,奶奶讲完后,沉默了片刻,问:“能帮我把护士叫进来吗？” „Good.” “好。” stretch/open Tan sets out to shout the nurse, the paternal grandmother wants to clean the body. 张叹起身喊来护士,奶奶想擦拭身体。 The nurse prepared the hot water and towel, opens sighs closes the door, arrives in the corridor, answered Su Lan a telephone, chatted the recent situation mutually. 护士准备了热水和毛巾,张叹关上门,来到走廊里,接了苏澜一个电话,互相聊了近况。 The telephone fired off, the nurses are raising the bucket and towel also come out. 电话打完了,护士们提着水桶和毛巾也出来了。 Paternal grandmother's voice passes on, „sighed you to come.” 奶奶的声音传出来,“张叹你进来吧。” In the room seems empty, the paternal grandmother sat slightly, under the head fronted two pillows, little white is combing silver-haired that to her. 房间里显得空空荡荡,奶奶微微坐了起来,脑袋下垫了两个枕头,小白正在给她梳那满头银发。 „Goose goose goose ~ ~ look, Uncle, little white is giving the paternal grandmother the combing the hair head.” “鹅鹅鹅哈~~看,大叔,小白在给奶奶梳头头哩。” The little fellows are jubilant, before was the paternal grandmother combs the hair to her, now she can also comb the hair to the paternal grandmother. 小家伙兴高采烈,以前都是奶奶给她梳头,现在她也能给奶奶梳头了。 „Paternal grandmother, do you want the watermelon leader? Watermelon leader good extravagant love ~ ~” “奶奶,你要西瓜头头吗？西瓜头头好阔爱嗷~~” She wants to comb a watermelon leader to the paternal grandmother, the paternal grandmother says. 她想给奶奶梳一个西瓜头头,奶奶笑着说可以。 little white laughs, is enthusiastic, regarded the playdough paternal grandmother's silver hair, optional appearance. 小白大笑,更加来劲,把奶奶的银发当成了橡皮泥,随意打扮。 She tossed about paternal grandmother's silver hair, the watermelon leader could not comb some little time, because she only met the mouth, finally tied up simply after the brain, sighed she must study study this strong point. 她折腾了好一会儿奶奶的银发,西瓜头头梳不出来,因为她只会口嗨,最后简单地绑在了脑后,叹气说她要学学这个强项。 „Claw matter, many hair faint trace.” “爪子回事嘛,好多头发丝丝嗷。” little white discovered on the bed sheet many round of silk, just combed the hair falls. 小白发现床单上掉了许多发丝,都是刚刚梳头时掉落的。 The people were old, the hair starts to fall off, this is the natural phenomenon. 人年纪大了,头发开始脱落,这是自然现象。 The paternal grandmother said that has not related, she let slightly give for nothing her to tell the story. 奶奶笑着说没关系,她让小白给她讲故事。 For serveral days, little white will volunteer every night to the paternal grandmother tells the story, good that no matter spoke, she had fun in any case. 这些天,小白每天晚上都会自告奋勇给奶奶讲故事,不管讲的好不好,反正她乐在其中。 „What does paternal grandmother you want to listen to?” “奶奶你想听啥子嘛？” The time of flash, in little white head melon seed runs more than ten stories, she wants to say to the paternal grandmother listens, a small mouth is insufficient, if there are two to be good. 一瞬间的功夫,小白的脑袋瓜子里就跑出来十几个故事,她都想讲给奶奶听,一张小嘴巴根本不够用,要是有两张就好了。 The paternal grandmother said anything, so long as is little white says. 奶奶说什么都可以,只要是小白讲的。 little white decided that spoke «Me To want Moon», paternal grandmother listened, while gave little white that greatly two -year-old clothes embroideries diligently. 小白决定讲《我想要月亮》,奶奶一边听,一边努力给小白的那件大两岁的衣裳刺绣。 She can only lie low, raised the head slightly, embroiders difficultly, for does not make a mistake, the speed was very slow is very slow, is good because of already not many. 她只能平躺着,微微抬起头,艰难地刺绣,为了不出错,速度很慢很慢,好在已经没多少了。 She spent evening's time, embroidered a little moe tiger to little white clothes on, making little white put on to try. 她花了一晚上的时间,给小白的衣裳上绣了一只小萌虎,让小白穿上试了试。 Big two years old. 只是大了两岁而已。 little white can be good-fitting sooner or later, so long as waits for on the line. 小白早晚能合身,只要等待就行。 Night, in the evening had the light rain, the temperature fell many all of a sudden, is getting more and more cold. 夜深了,晚上下了起小雨,气温一下子降了好多,越来越冷。 The nurse of duty inspected paternal grandmother's situation, the air conditioning raised a point. 值班的护士过来检查奶奶的情况,空调调高了一点。 stretch/open Tan looked at the watch, must lead little white to return to the hotel. 张叹看了看手表,要带小白回酒店。 little white is not willing to walk, wants to stay here, but was persuaded somebody to leave by the paternal grandmother. 小白不愿走,想要留在这里,但被奶奶劝走了。 „Paternal grandmother, does obeisance ~ ~ ~ ~” “奶奶,拜~~~~” „little white said goodbye.” “小白再见。” Tonight in the hospital ward no one stands night watch, nurse who only then in the building is on duty. 今晚病房里没有人守夜,只有大楼里值班的护士。 In the long obsolete corridor the light is murky, in the hospital ward, the lamp on ceiling closed/pass, only then the bathroom entrance shines one to keep the night light, under the hospital bed, draws close to the wall of floor to shine two night light. 长长的陈旧的走廊里灯光昏沉,病房里,天花板上的灯关了,只有卫生间门口亮着一盏留夜灯,还有病床底下,贴近地板的墙壁上亮着两盏起夜灯。 The light is spooky, the paternal grandmother lies down on the hospital bed peacefully, the eye has not been shutting, she does not have the sleepiness at this moment, is choked up with emotions, turbulent enormous and powerful, life picture appear. 灯光幽幽,奶奶安静地躺在病床上,眼睛没有闭着,她此刻毫无睡意,心潮澎湃,汹涌浩荡,人生的画面一幕幕浮现。 The rain of out of the window first was the small scale made a sound one, was fierce, was angry, is coercing the strong winds, blew bugle and beat drums the glass window, then the potential was gradually small, turned lightly, vague, tended to be tranquil, finally when belonged to the appearance, the wind sound/rumor noise of the rain did not have, the night was peaceful. 窗外的雨先是小打小闹响了一阵,接着剧烈起来,愤怒起来,裹挟着狂风,吹打玻璃窗,接着渐渐势小,变成了淅淅沥沥,若有若无,趋于平静,最后归于来时的模样,风声雨声都没了,夜安静了。 It seems like the life. 多像是人生啊。 After night rain, should early morning, in the corridor not hear the sound of footsteps for a long time, everyone rested. 一场夜雨过后,应该已经凌晨了,走廊里许久没有传来脚步声,大家都睡了吧。 The paternal grandmother puts out a hand from the bedding, in the hand were many a thing, since she pressed, the thing shone the fluorescence, that was a cell phone. 奶奶从被窝里伸出手,手中多了一个物件,她摁了一下,物件亮起了荧光,那是一只手机。 Slightly gives for nothing that senior citizen cell phone that she buys. 小白给她买的那只老年人手机。 she shivers, the cell phone has not asserted with confidence, falls on the bed. 她颤抖着手,手机没拿稳,掉在床上。 When she takes up again, the withered right hand is steady, as if other day slightly taught without charge her to use that time of cell phone. 当她再次拿起时,枯槁的右手已经平稳,仿佛日前小白教她用手机的那次。 She opens the cell phone sound recording function, the stop moment, organizes the language diligently. 她打开手机录音功能,停顿片刻,努力组织语言。 The civilian common family, has an important matter, as if the space leaked a hole, the rainstorm pouring, the person the ship all turns round. 平民百姓家,发生一点大事,就仿佛天上漏了个洞,暴雨倾盆,人船皆覆。 The paternal grandmother she fell a tumble, has not thought to trigger so many difficult choices, affects the life destinies of so many people. 奶奶她摔了一跤,未曾想会引发这么多的艰难选择,牵动这么多人的生活命运。 Everyone , because her wrestling makes the choice, she watches, at heart, so many days, thought anxiously finally thoroughly, made own choice. 每个人都在因为她的摔跤做选择,她看在眼里,急在心里,这么多天,终于想透彻了,做出了自己的选择。 Her choice is, does not trouble others. 她的选择是,不麻烦别人。 She is a good peaceful person, is never willing to trouble the person, insisted for a lifetime, does not think that the life the moment, actually brought such big trouble to the surrounding person. 她是个善良安静的人,从不愿麻烦人,坚持了一辈子,不想人生的关头,却给周围的人带来了这么大的麻烦。 Since that moment that since she throws down, she realized suddenly oneself no longer are an independent person, she is still persevering in the personality stubbornly, however in the action, on the body, she had lost the independent qualifications, she has to treat an illness with money that the little granddaughter makes, eats meal and goes to bathroom cannot take care of oneself, how this can call it the person. 自从她摔倒的那一刻起,她突然意识到自己不再是个独立自主的人,在人格上她依然倔强地坚守着,但是在行动上,在身体上,她已经失去了独立自主的资格,她不得不用小孙女赚的钱治病,连吃饭和上厕所都不能自理,这怎么能称之为人呢。 She realized that she became a trouble, she most is not willing to trouble others' trouble. 她意识到自己成了一个麻烦,她最不愿意麻烦别人的麻烦。 At this moment, a fearful thought appears in the heart. 这一刻起,一个可怕的念头在心底浮现。 She thought of the death. 她想到了死亡。 That old person who in the past few days passed away, making her see own future. Own pain, person also following pain. 前些天去世的那位老人,让她看到了自己的将来。自己痛苦,身边的人也跟着痛苦。 According to a person birth and death natural law, some of her also date and time, but she is not willing to lie down on the hospital bed barely manages to maintain a feeble existence, she wants to say goodbye to this world dignified. 按照一个人生老病死的自然规律,她还有些时日,但她不愿躺在病床上苟延残喘,她想体面地告别这个世界。 Such a thinks that fearful thought is not fearful. It no longer is fierce, desperate, maddening, it is sending out the hope unexpectedly, like aura that in the spring mountain forest blows, brings the fragrance of vegetation recovery and soil. 这么一想,那个可怕的念头也并不可怕了。它不再是狰狞的、绝望的、让人发狂的,它竟然散发着希望,像春天山林中吹来的气息,带着草木复苏和泥土的芳香。 In her most lifetime, the surface toward Sun, the tendency is always warm, even if were the husband passed away, the son passed away, the daughter-in-law passed away...... the life to give her malicious jokes, she can insist, was still with smile on the face, still had the hope, should still anticipate tomorrow. 她大半辈子里,从来都面朝太阳,心向温暖,哪怕是丈夫去世,儿子去世,儿媳妇去世……生活给了她一个又一个恶意的玩笑,她都能坚持,依然面带微笑,依然怀揣希望,依然期待明天。 She has fought many battles, tattered and torn, the old bones, gently and resists stubbornly, is not fearing any wind and rain. 她身经百战,千疮百孔,是把老骨头,温柔而倔强地抗争着,已经不惧任何风雨。 When until now, the destiny lost the patience to her, fills with must strike down her maliciously. 时到如今,命运对她失去了耐心,满怀恶意地要把她击倒。 She thinks dignified the life, it has not given. 她想体面的过一生,它偏偏不给。 But she does not hate, even must thank it, thanked gave her the malicious joke, rather than little white. 但她并不怨恨,甚至要谢谢它,谢谢把恶意的玩笑给了她,而不是小白。 She receives overall. 她全盘接下。 The destiny was doomed to be disappointed. 命运注定要失望了。 Because she does not sink into suicides desperately, she decided to rush to the death with the hope, like greeting another vast victory. 因为她不是陷于绝望而寻死,她是怀着希望决定奔赴死亡,就像迎接另一场浩大的胜利。 She oneself gives free residence destiny, rather than seized by force. 她是把自己施舍给命运,而不是被强取豪夺。 She has not lost for a lifetime, finally cannot lose the dignity. 她一辈子没有输,最后也不能输了体面。 No one is able to strike down her, only if she unloads the military equipment, takes off the helmet, puts down the weapon, surrenders to return to heaven. 谁也无法击倒她,除非她自己卸下武装,摘下头盔,放下武器,解甲归天。 Her life, many were being pushed by the destiny, the last regulation of life, she must take responsibility for oneself, chooses a road, walks. 她的一生,多是被命运推着走,人生的最后一程,她要为自己做主,选择一条路,一路走好。 In the peaceful hospital ward, a paternal grandmother hand is grasping the cell phone, lifts to the lip near, exhausts the ample force, said by the clear sound: „I walked last night, when walks mind like still water is little white who...... does not feel relieved only......, but little white has you, I have nothing do not feel relieved......” 安静的病房里,奶奶一只手握着手机,举到嘴唇边,用尽余力,以清亮的声音说道:“我于昨晚走了,走时心如止水……唯一不放心的就是小白……但小白有你们,我没什么不放心了……” First of posthumous writings before this is Nanjing 81-year- old people living alone die, writes, the original sentence was „I( lunar calendar 15 walked last night in August), when walked mind like still water......” 这是南京一位81岁的独居老人死前写的遗书的第一句,原句是“我于昨晚(农历八月十五)走了,走时心如止水……”