**************************************************************************************** **************************************************************************************** „I will really not perform , no unique skill of excelling, kills to excel very much, do you want to look?” Twin tails is still putting up a last-ditch struggle. “我真不会表演,也没什么擅长的绝活,打打杀杀到是很擅长,你们想看么？”双尾还在垂死挣扎。 „The meeting of meeting, can definitely, think again carefully, you and a gallon teacher do relate well, have not studied on several?” “会的会的,肯定会的,再仔细想一想,你和加仑老师关系那么好,难道就没有学上几手？” „No, if studies that fellow, the life will become unfortunate.” Twin tails shakes the head decisively, and said words that coffin board that lets the leg wool immortal trembling. “不,要是学那家伙的话,人生会变得不幸的。”双尾果断摇头,并且说了一句让腿毛仙人的棺材板都在哆嗦的话。 „Do not say like this, some gallon teacher many merits.” “别这样说,加仑老师还是有很多优点的。” „His merit on can the talent, his shortcoming like above in the character.” Compared with me, twin tails as if understood that leg wool immortal, that is really pertinent, felt that the coffin board soon could not suppress. “他的优点都在才能天赋上面,他的缺点都在性格喜好上面。”比起我,双尾似乎更了解腿毛仙人,那真是句句一针见血,感觉棺材板快要压不住了。 „Or, do you study the cat to call two to listen?” I prepare to make concessions one step. “要不,你学猫叫两声听听？”我准备退让一步。 „I am the cat, why can also study the cat?” Twin tails did not think that I am yielding, it thought that I am thinking the peach eat. “我本来就是猫,为什么还要学猫？”双尾并不觉得我在让步,它觉得我在想桃子吃。 „Are you cat that you to are call? Like meow meow meow.” “你是猫那你到是叫呀？像菲妮那样喵喵喵的。” „Ok.” “行吧。” In my heart one happy, thinks twin tails, helpless obeyed, right, as how the strong man can not meow meow meow, the time is not right, I planned that teaches twin tails to sing a song , this song believes that everyone knows. 我心中一喜,以为双尾无奈就范了,对嘛,身为猛男怎么能不会喵喵喵呢,要不是时机不对,我都打算教双尾唱一首歌,诶,想必这首歌相信大家都是知道的。 „You first study the monkey to call two to listen to everyone.” “你先学猴子叫两声给大家听听。” „It is not, wait/etc, what relations this and do I have?” The winding peaks and paths, I was hit to be caught off guard, the deceased remains on face......, were the smile stiffen. “不是,等等,这和我有什么关系？”峰回路转,我被打了个措手不及,脸上的遗容……啊呸,是笑容僵住了。 „What meaning do you make me study the cat to call are?” “那你让我学猫叫是什么意思？” „You are the cat, calling two to have anything is not good, took a look to everyone.” “你本来就是猫呀,叫两声有什么不好,给大伙瞧瞧。” „How are you monkey you do not call two?” “你是猴子你怎么不叫两声？” „It is not, was I the monkey? When did I become the monkey?” “不是,我怎么就是猴子了？我什么时候成猴子了？” I hoodwinked the circle, is it possible that twin tails your does the fellow of this heavy features also want to join double to combine? Turns in pairs elegantly? Twin tails? Also or double elegant tail? 我蒙圈了,莫非双尾你这个浓眉大眼的家伙也想加入双娜组合？变成双双娜？或者双尾娜？又或是双娜尾？ „I look very look like.” “我看着挺像。” „Your words cannot speak irresponsibly, cannot listen to the wind is the rain, repeats ideas, only then these all day long idle idle extremely bored mean-spirited fellow anxiously, by any means possible wants to tarnish others' reputation you to know?” “你话不能乱说,不能听风就是雨,人云亦云,只有那些成天无所事事闲极无聊小气巴巴的家伙,才会千方百计的想败坏别人的名声你知道吗？” „? Are you saying yourself?” “哦？你是在说自己吗？” „......” “……” Amn't I along, how me idle? How did I idle am extremely bored? I how mean-spiritedly anxiously...... good, I am very truly mean-spirited, this. 我一口气没顺过来,我怎么就无所事事了？我怎么就闲极无聊了？我怎么就小气巴巴……好吧,我确实挺小气的,这个过了。 „In brief I am not the monkey.” “总之我不是猴子。” „What relations this and am I the cat have?” “这和我是猫有什么关系吗？” „Doesn't matter, has the relations?” “没关系呀,有关系吗？” „That cannot, you not be the monkey, is not glad to study the monkey to call, I am the cat, what makes to study the cat to call?” “那不就得了,你不是猴子,都不乐意学猴子叫,我是猫,做什么要学猫叫？” „This...... may this......” I a little circle confused. “这……可这……”我有点绕晕头了。 „Wait!” Suddenly startling thunderclap. “等等！”忽然一声惊雷。 „Twin tails, you added that hasn't studied a gallon teacher? I look at your saying technique one after another, learned a foot from him!” “双尾,你还说没学加仑老师？我看你这话术一套一套的,跟他学了个足！” „That does not have the means that grew with that fellow being together time, if not relax, can wrap/sets to me under a few words, making me lose face.” “那也没办法,跟那家伙相处时间长了,要是不悠着点,三言两语就能给我下套,让我出丑。” „Please must talk about the experience that your lose face, considers the special skill.” “请务必讲一讲你那些出丑的经历,就当是特长吧。” „It is not good, I do not use another's words and present them as one's own generally, handle others have handled the matter, is not my style.” “不好吧,我一般不拾人牙慧,做别人做过的事情,不是我的风格。” „You want to say that I am right the bastard.” “你是想说我对吧混蛋。” „No, I aim is not you, I meant everyone who mounts the stage.” “不,我针对的不是你,我是说上台的所有人。” The good courage, to play the group to jeer unexpectedly, I thought that your tail does not want. 好胆子,竟然还玩起了群嘲,我看你的尾巴是不想要了吧。 Just about to to rub has the sleeve, prepares to borrow twin tails wand to use, finally under the stage actually broke out the applause inexplicably. 刚要撸起袖子,准备借双尾的手杖一用,结果台下却莫名响起了掌声。 „Aiya, Teacher Aumas, it seems like my also difference far meow, the cousin is your true successor meow.” poor|Fei is wiping under the stage not only envies and gratified tears. “哎呀咦呀,奥玛斯老师,看来我还差的远喵,表哥才是你真正的传人喵。”菲妮在台下抹着既羡慕又欣慰的泪光。 „Every Boss crosstalk program will never be disappointing, but has not thought that twin tails is so also strong.” “凡老大的相声节目永远不会让人失望,只是没想到双尾也那么强。” „Actually I thought that on me I am also good, Brother Wu that is a stem, good met.” “其实我觉得我上我也行,吴老弟那是一身的梗,太好接了。” I and twin tails look at each other in blank dismay , at the scene crosstalk program. 我和双尾面面相觑,得,都被当场相声节目了。 Looks, the look becomes shuts out gradually mutually. 看着看着,眼神渐渐变得互相嫌弃起来。 Bah, even must perform the crosstalk, I still am and lovable beautiful young girl performance, who can with a cat?! That called the single mouth crosstalk to be good. 呸,就算要表演相声,我也是和可爱的美少女表演,谁会和一只猫啊？！那叫单口相声好不好。 Twin tails shuts out to contain a more complex meaning: „Has the flash, I even think that a gallon that fellow dies, but Resurrection, stands before me, you may really be, gallon good not good studied fully, particularly pull people together under fiery pit this point.” 双尾的嫌弃包含着更复杂的意思:“有一瞬间,我甚至以为加仑那家伙死而复活,站在我面前,你可真是,把加仑好的不好的都学足了,尤其是拉人一起下火坑这一点。” Does not push, is, is the same place, this very leg wool. 不是推,是拉,是一起,这很腿毛。 First one turns, twin tails swings the tail toward the swayed that I disdain, I put loud fart to it, everyone parts on bad terms, leaves office respectively. 头一扭,双尾朝我不屑的摆摆尾,我冲它放了一个响屁,大家不欢而散,各自下台。 „Originally the relations of human and Hell can be so good.” he/she Miss Lian of flight clearance brain hole, as if misunderstood anything, muttered some dangerous lines. “原来人类和地狱的关系可以那么好。”放飞脑洞的伊丽安小姐,似乎误会了什么,喃喃自语些危险的台词。 „Where do you look?” I cannot bear ask. “你是从哪里看出来的？”我忍不住问道。 She has not replied me, but is selfish nod: „Actually, I had also conceived, Hell and continent whether can the peaceful coexistence, but natural opposition relations between both, making me unable to see the hope, has not thought that twin tails had taken the first step.” 她没有回答我,而是自顾自的点点头:“其实,吾也曾经设想过,地狱和大陆是否可以和平共处,但两者之间的天然对立关系,让吾一直看不到希望,未曾想到双尾已经迈出了第一步。” „Very much obviously, it takes these step stepped on flying in circles, but also almost slipped, the face was well-grounded that type.” “很显然,它迈出的这一步踩到了翔,还差点打滑,脸着地那种。” „Do I to also want to try, could and human excluding you also hit to relate?” She uses the questionnaire the look to visit me. “吾到是也想试一试,或许能和除你之外的人类也打好关系？”她用征求的眼神看着我。 It is not, when did you feel our relations? Recalls carefully well, several months ago, you also call people friends readily to kill me who forms cliques. 不是,什么时候你觉得我们俩的关系好了？仔细好好回忆一下,几个月前,你还呼朋唤友拉帮结派的过来杀我呢。 I feel most humorous, most understood the person who lecture of crosstalk is not I, should be the present spider young lady is right. 我觉得最幽默,最懂得讲相声的人不是我,应该是眼前的蜘蛛小姐才对。 „That, I on.” “那么,吾就上了。” Also does not know what misunderstood from my look, thought that I am encouraging it? Therefore the spider young lady flushed, comes to power, originally under lively field suddenly a peace. 又是不知道从我的眼神里误会了什么,觉得我是在鼓励它？于是蜘蛛小姐冲了,上了台,原本热热闹闹的场下忽然一片安静。 Only can say, the constriction is full, like the antiquity tyrannosaurus that whole body blood fog winds around, steps the graceful step to stand in the stage. 只能说,压迫感十足,就像一头浑身血雾缭绕的上古暴龙,迈着优雅的步调站在舞台上。 Some people hint me with the look, this really? Real man program of reaching an agreement? This does not conform to the custom. 有人用眼神示意我,这样真的好吗？说好的真男人节目呢？这不符合规矩吧。 How you can like this, why a program, probably be classified as „male” can the phrase, why only the man mount the stage? You are discriminating against the female compatriot! 你怎么能这样,为什么一个节目,非得冠以“男”的字眼,为什么只能男人上台？你这是在歧视女性同胞！ At this moment, my incarnation female warrior, attacks with heavy blows. 这一刻,我化身女斗士,重拳出击。 Therefore, the program should remove the male character, changes to the real woman program! This can manifest the sex equality. 所以,节目应该去掉男字,改为真女人节目！这样才能体现出性别平等。 However isn't it a person?! Also some people said with the look. 但是它也不是人啊？！又有人用眼神说道。 That called the false woman program. I did not matter, has come up in any case, managing its flood is dreadful. 哦,那就叫假女人节目吧。我无所谓了,反正已经上去过了,管它洪水滔天。 I think that the spider young lady must perform anything, finally is her set, 108 causes of death recited the version, spoke in which floral formula cause of death of personal experience. 我以为蜘蛛小姐要表演什么,结果又是她那一套,一百零八种死法朗诵版,讲了亲身经历的其中一次花式死法。 Result...... very awkward silence. 结果……就很冷场。 The spider young lady brow just wrinkled, under the stage breaks out the tsunami applause. 蜘蛛小姐眉头刚皱,台下响起海啸般的掌声。 The spider young lady leaves office, under the field long implored the one breath. 蜘蛛小姐下台,场下长长吁了一口气。 „It seems like wants to hit to relate with human is not easy.” The favor is experienced, all these spider young ladies of watching, said to me. “看来想要和人类打好关系并不容易。”人情老练,将这一切看在眼里的蜘蛛小姐,对我说道。 „Or, do you perform again one time before everyone?” “要不,你在大家面前再表演一次？” „Performance what? My meeting are not many, kills to be an expert very much.” “表演什么？吾会的也不多,打打杀杀到是很在行。” „No, I thought that you have same excel very much.” “不,我觉得你有一样很擅长。” , I withdrew several steps, then said: „For example, the performance's 109 th cause of death.” 顿了顿,我退后几步,才接着说道:“比如说,表演第一百零九种死法。” The spider young lady vision is spooky, looks like hides in Leaf, is hoping the prey hits the spider of net. 蜘蛛小姐目光幽幽,就像是藏在叶子里,期盼着猎物撞网的蜘蛛。 „I arrive felt, you also excel very much, is inferior to the same place?” “吾到觉得,你也很擅长,不如一起？” „, This was inappropriate.” “不了,不了,这不合适。” „I always thought that was also short of anything, lacked a heavyweight performance.” The nag looks around, words saying when he is, how comes back? Had turned into the making a vow meteor obviously. “我总觉得还少了点什么,缺了一份重量级演出。”老马探头探脑,话说他是什么时候,怎么回来的？明明已经变成了许愿流星。 „Right, but also was short of an honorable person to explode the program.” Also is team member, is supporting the life enterprise of nag steadfastly. “对啊,还少了一个真人爆炸节目。”又是队友,坚定不移的支持着老马的人生事业。 „Wait, I knew, I thought!” Before the people press the nag, he helps oneself hastily loudly. “等等,我知道了,我想起来了！”在众人将老马摁住之前,他连忙大声自救。 „I said that little anyone, was short of high especially Boss, high especially Boss?” “我就说少了谁,原来是少了高特老大,高特老大呢？” I referred to some corner, tall Te ice sculpture, lifelike, is not right, is the honorable person ice sculpture. 我指了指某个角落,高特的冰雕,栩栩如生,不对,就是真人冰雕。 „tch, or we move the stage this thing, is regarded as a performance?” Nag tch has the sound, avoids the evil clutches of people to go forward, touched toward the ice sculpture. “啧啧啧,要不我们把这玩意搬上台,就当做是一次表演？”老马啧啧有声,躲避着众人的魔爪上前,往冰雕摸了一把。 Finally also turned into the ice sculpture, with tall Te together, became the joined bodies ice sculpture. 结果也变成冰雕了,和高特一起,成了连体冰雕。 „Hey, will not have the matter.” Kurt and white Wolf somewhat worried, the nag and high special strength after all are not the same levels, the high special safe/without matter, does not represent the nag also to be able the safe/without matter. “喂喂,不会有事吧。”库特和白狼有些担心,老马和高特的实力毕竟不是同一个层次,高特无事,不代表着老马也能无事。 Their hands also touched one after another on, therefore turned into the joined bodies centipede ice sculpture. 他们的手也相继的摸了上了,于是变成了连体蜈蚣冰雕。 „This may a little meaning.” Maintains hundred million points curiosity twin tails to anything, does not wait for everyone to shout the instigator, arrives in front of the ice sculpture, sizes up several, suddenly finds out wand, gently a stamp in ice sculpture. “这可有点意思。”对什么都保持亿点点好奇心的双尾,不等大家喊来始作俑者,来到冰雕面前,上上下下打量几番,忽然探出手杖,在冰雕上轻轻一戳。 Zī —— ——!!! 滋滋滋————！！！ That firm cold ice sculpture, actually resembles the hot oil, wand bumps gently, then just like under the cold water the wok with cooking oil, sent out fierce inciting unexpectedly the sound. 那坚固寒冷的冰雕,却似热油,手杖轻轻一碰,便犹如冷水下油锅,竟然发出了剧烈的滋滋声响。 Twin tails also shrank in the flash, hides wand behind. 双尾也在一瞬间缩了回去,将手杖藏在身后。 the next moment, its ear transmits the sound to refer to the sound, the ice sculpture that is unable to touch disrupts accordingly, high special nag Kurt white Wolf four people of sorry figure sits on the ground, you take a look at me, I take a look at you, actually returns safe and sound. 下一刻,它耳边传来响指声,原本无法碰触的冰雕应声碎裂,高特老马库特白狼四人狼狈的一屁股坐在地上,你瞧瞧我,我瞧瞧你,却是毫发无损。 „Hi, you leave bump casually, I want to give this gorilla unforgettable lesson.” Just ended the dialogue with the spider young lady...... not, or finished going to the travel one time, I caught up. “嗨,你们别随便碰啊,我是想给这头大猩猩一次难忘的教训。”刚和蜘蛛小姐结束对话……不,或者说结束一次赴死之旅,我赶了过来。 „It seems like, you do not have frozen so to be been in vain long by Riel.” Twin tails meow I, suddenly came senseless words. “看来,你没白被都瑞尔冻那么久。”双尾喵着我,忽然来了一句没头没脑的话。 „???” “？？？” Sees me to make the symbolic black person question mark slowly, twin tails will hide after behind wand rubs rubbed. 见我缓缓打出标志性的黑人问号,双尾将藏在身后的手杖搓了又搓。 „I now am very curious, if you fight with Riel, who can win, I mean in the Cold tree domain.” “我现在很好奇,你要是和都瑞尔打起来,到底谁能赢,我是说在冰系领域里。” „Hi, your does not let me toward the fiery pit...... not, jumps toward the ice pit, it plays the ice specialized, my is only the working as a volunteer nature, where can compare, can imitate 78 to be even good.” “嗨,你这不是让我往火坑……不,是往冰坑里跳么,它是专业玩冰的,我这只是玩票性质,哪能比呀,能模仿个七八分就算不错了。” Twin tails as if felt huge insult —— that also to be able to imitate! In the world who can imitate Riel 78? Let alone 78, 12 does not have! 双尾仿佛感受到了巨大的侮辱——那也要能模仿到啊！天底下又有谁能模仿都瑞尔七八分？别说七八分,一二分都没有！ Twin tails seems to be unforgiving has talked endlessly, I impatient, was saying secret language that no one understands. 双尾似乎不依不饶的一直喋喋不休,我不耐烦的罢着手,说着没人懂的黑话。 „Next time certainly, next time certainly.” “下次一定,下次一定。” ... 。。。