For a long time, Lawrenceis similar tois strandedinone„soberdreamland”——heto happening atoneselfmatter, was actually clearcompared withanyoneto the pathological change in oneselfenergeticaspect.
长久以来,劳伦斯都如同被困在一个“清醒的梦境”中——他对发生在自己身上的事情,对自己精神方面的病变其实比谁都清楚。Heknows that Marthais not, knows that with the form that oneselfis constantly together is actually only a illusion, all theseheknows——, no matterinsubconsciouslevel, is the subjective consciousnesslevel, hesobersvery much.
他知道玛莎已经不在,知道那个与自己朝夕相处的身影其实只是一个幻象,这一切他都知道——不管是在潜意识层面,还是主观意识层面,他都清醒得很。
Compared with Captain that othertheseof a similar age, storyis close, hisstate of mindcould actually have beengood, onboundlessBoundless Sea, is Captain that the spiritualdistortionandmind that mostdoes not lackare damaged, even ifthere isshare of pastoralong with the ship, the occupation of thischallengeseawill also be doomedto withstandfarexceeds the spiritual pollution of ordinarycrew, eachCaptainin the mindresistance that will constantly deterioratewithoneselfcompletedoceangoing voyages, Captainwill usea few wordsto describeownoccupation——frequently
但和其他那些年龄相仿、阅历接近的船长们比起来,他的精神状态其实已经算得上良好了,在茫茫无垠海上,最不缺的便是精神扭曲、心智受损的船长们,哪怕有随船牧师的分担,这份挑战大海的职业也注定会承受远超过普通船员的精神污染,每一个船长都是在和自己不断恶化的心智对抗中完成了一次次远洋航行,以至于船长们经常会用一句话来形容自己的职业——„We the navigationnear the abyss, ourlivesdo not move tothatabyssstraightly.”
“我们不是在深渊边上航行,我们的人生笔直地驶向那深渊。”Butalsobecause ofyear to yearenergeticdistress, Lawrencehas the especiallykeencognitionto„Martha”, at this moment, hehad been detectingkeenly the illusion that at presentthatformandoneselfsawin the pastis notsametype„thing”.
但也正是因为常年的精神困厄,劳伦斯对“玛莎”有着格外敏锐的认知,就在此时此刻,他已经敏锐地察觉到了眼前那身影与自己以往所见到的幻象绝不是同一种“东西”。Hecould not bearrecallpreviouslyto presentthat„Martha”onwhite oakdeck planking, thenfirst mateGossehad once seenthat„Martha”form——did changestartsfromthat time?
他忍不住回忆起了此前出现在白橡木甲板上的那个“玛莎”,当时的大副格斯曾看到过那个“玛莎”的身影——变化是从那时候开始的?
Did all thesecrosssomecritical pointfinally? oneselffantasized that the thing...... did arrive atRealityfinally? Someinexpressiblestrengthreadhismind, makesthisinhimat presentactual„individual”? Is thisvenomousgift? Trap that is full of the ridicule?
这一切终于越过了某个临界点?自己幻想中的东西……终于来到了现实?还是某种不可言说的力量读取了他的心智,在他眼前制造出了这个实际存在的“个体”?这是一份充满恶意的礼物?还是一个饱含讥讽的陷阱?„Martha......”Lawrenceopens the mouthfinally, hefelt that the ownthroatsomewhatbecomes dry, evensoundhoarse, „youbeforeme?”
“玛莎……”劳伦斯终于张开嘴巴,他感觉自己的嗓子有些发干,连声音都嘶哑起来,“你在我面前?”„Ifyousee,”femaleadventurersmiled, „canbumpme? Ievenhave the body temperature.”
“如你所见,”女冒险家笑了起来,“要来碰碰我吗?我甚至有体温。”„...... Youare the individual that is genuine,”Lawrenceinspiresgently, herestrainsoneselfto go forward a stepimpulsion, „why, but...... is this? Was the illusion in mymindtransformedsomeentityhere? Is this...... the strength of thissea area?”
“……你是一个切实存在的个体,”劳伦斯轻轻吸了口气,他克制着自己上前一步的冲动,“但……这是为什么?难道我脑海中的幻象在这里被转化成了某种实体?这是……这片海域的力量?”„At leastrightpart,”Marthashakes the headgently, „trulywasthispiece‚sea area’portrayedmeandBlack Oak, butIdid not come fromillusion—— in youmindIto wanderheremanyyears, Lawrence——Iwiththisshipinmanyyears of pasthere, ashuge quantity of‚sham’part, paced back and forthblindly.”
“至少对了一部分,”玛莎轻轻摇了摇头,“确实是这片‘海域’塑造了我和黑橡木号,但我并非来自伱脑海中的幻象——我已经在这里徘徊很多年了,劳伦斯——我和这艘船在过去的许多年里都在这里,作为数量庞大的‘赝品’的一部分,盲目地徘徊。”Lawrenceis startledslightly: „Sham?”劳伦斯微微一怔:“赝品?”„Sham——somegreat powersituated indeep seacausedall these, Ido not know that whatthatis, butithad occupiedmanymanyyearshere, made the innumerablesham, but alsoremembers that justbythatHaiyan that youdid eliminate? ThatDagger Island......”
“赝品——某种位于深海的强大力量导致了这一切,我不知道那到底是什么,但它已经在这里盘踞了很多很多年,制造出了数不清的赝品,还记得刚刚被你消灭的那艘‘海燕号’吗?还有那座匕首岛……”„Are they‚sham’?!”Lawrenceopened the eye, herealizedthevortex that suddenlyoneselfis getting sucked intoas ifcompared with the oneselfimaginationalsowantstreacherouslyfearful, „wait/etc, before that Cold FrostCity-State that wemeet......”
“它们都是‘赝品’?!”劳伦斯睁大了眼睛,他突然意识到自己正深陷的这个漩涡似乎比自己想象的还要诡谲可怕,“等等,那之前我们遇到的寒霜城邦……”„It is also, hereallare,” the Marthaexpressionsaidcalmly,„thatstrengthhad infiltrated the trimsea area, allpaces back and forth the thing of stayenoughtimeinthissea area, cannot escapeits‚duplication’, someinnumerableblindemptyreplicapace back and forth, is only a smallpart that in the deep sea——youmeet.”
“它也是,这里的一切都是,”玛莎表情平静地说道,“那股力量早已浸润了整片海域,所有在这片海域中徘徊停留足够时间的东西,都逃不开它的‘复制’,有无数盲目空洞的复制品徘徊在深海中——你所遇到的,只是其中一小部分。”
The Lawrencewhole person seemed in a state ofdelay, crossedfor a long time, heawakes the godto comesuddenly, andlooksunbelievableat present„wife”: „But...... youare seemingly different, youevencantalkwithme, thisshipalsofought side-by-sidewithWhite Oaka moment ago......”劳伦斯整个人似乎都陷入了呆滞状态,过了许久,他才突然醒过神来,并难以置信地看着眼前的“妻子”:“可是……你看上去不一样,你甚至能和我交谈,这艘船刚才还和白橡木号并肩作战……”Marthahas not spoken, buthasonetypetranquilly, andhas the smile of profound meaning, calmlyis gazing atLawrence.玛莎没有说话,只是带着一种平静且有深意的笑容,静静地注视着劳伦斯。
The latterstops the speech, andrespondedgradually,helowers the head, looks atoneselfthatstilllike the Ghost Spiritillusorytransparentbody, as well asonbodystaticcombustionDark Green Flames.
后者停下讲话,并渐渐反应过来,他低下头,看着自己那仍然如幽灵般虚幻透明的躯体,以及身体上静静燃烧的幽绿火焰。
The appearance of Black Oak, completes„transformation”inWhite Oakafterspiritual fire.黑橡木号的出现,是在白橡木号于灵体之火中完成“蜕变”之后。„Yourealized, Lawrence,”Marthasaidin a soft voice,„cancontendwith the mighty force, onlyhas another strongermighty force, eventhissea area, cannotbribeVanished Fleetspoils of war——youandI, is‚It’spoils of war.”
“你意识到了,劳伦斯,”玛莎轻声说道,“能与伟力抗衡的,唯有另一种更加强大的伟力,即使是这片海域,也不能染指失乡舰队的战利品——你和我,都是‘祂’的战利品。”Lawrenceis listening, feelssomewhatabsent-minded, hiscomplexionthenchangesslightly, andrealized the opposite partyspokebeing out of sorts of finalseveralwordsto locate the matter that ——thatis notdozensyears ago thenandoneselfa moment agoparts forever„Martha that”shouldknow!劳伦斯愣愣地听着,感觉有些恍惚,紧接着,他的脸色便微微变化,并意识到了刚才对方所讲最后几句话的违和之处——那不是几十年前便和自己永别的“玛莎”应该知道的事情!Why will sheknowVanished? WhyknowsWhite OakisCaptain Duncan„spoils of war”?
她为什么会知道失乡号?为什么会知道白橡木号是邓肯船长的“战利品”?„Youreadmyconsciousness!”Lawrencestaredin a big way the eyesuddenly, the bodymuscletightenedsubconsciously, „youwere nottrueMartha!”
“你读取了我的意识!”劳伦斯猛然瞪大了眼睛,身上肌肉下意识绷紧,“你不是真正的玛莎!”Howeverthatstandsin the form of not far awayis actually smiling, does not seem to cared about the response of Lawrenceslightly, thiscalmonesuch asdozensyears ago: „ Whatifyouwantisone100%accurate, and‚pure’Martha, verysorry, Lawrence, Itrulyam nother——but‚she’ammypart, the Marthasoulinmywithin the body, butmyanother part,...... thissea areasuch as a mirrorfromyourconsciousness and memory, has been shiningcontinuouslyallthings that have floateditssurface, the consciousness and memorynaturallyalsoinclude.
然而那站在不远处的身影却只是微笑着,仿佛丝毫没有在意劳伦斯的反应,这份冷静一如几十年前:“如果你想要的是一个百分之百准确且‘纯净’的玛莎,很抱歉,劳伦斯,我确实不是她——但‘她’是我的一部分,玛莎的灵魂就在我体内,而我的另一部分,来自你的意识和记忆……这片海域如一面镜子,一直在持续不断地映照着所有浮过其表面的事物,意识与记忆自然也包括其中。„Ihave not readyourconsciousness, wasyourconsciousnessmapsmypart of ——you unable to acceptnaturallyregarding this?”
“我没有读取你的意识,是你的意识自然而然地映射成了我的一部分——你对此无法接受吗?”Lawrenceopens mouth, afterdoes not knowseveralexpressionschange, hepulled the corners of the mouthfinallybitterly and astringently, spreads out the hand: „Ido not know,Ihave even never thoughtreallyafteryoushoulddowhatdeals, I...... Ido not knowhowoneselfshouldacceptthis...... ‚form’you, Ihave not even doneto understand that to the presentwhat kind ofexistenceyouare.”劳伦斯张了张嘴,在不知几次表情变化之后,他终于苦涩地扯了扯嘴角,摊开手:“我不知道,我甚至从未想过真的面对你之后该作何应对,我……我不知道自己该怎么接受这个……‘形式’的你,我甚至到现在还没搞明白你到底是一个怎样的存在。”Heraised the head, thisoncefacedoldCaptain that onBoundless Sea the innumerabletreacherousterrifyinghas not vacillatedat this momentunexpectedlyseemssomewhatvacant.
他抬起头,这位曾面对过无垠海上数不清的诡谲恐怖都不曾动摇的老船长此刻竟显得有些茫然无措。Hehas not displayedownweak——beforeanybodyexcept forbefore the ownwife.
他不曾在任何人面前表现出自己的软弱——除了在自己的妻子面前。Marthacalmlylooks atalreadyno longeryoungLawrence, long time, shesmiledonereluctantly: „Youas before, the critical moment, alwaysneedmyhelp.”玛莎静静地看着已经不再年轻的劳伦斯,良久,她无奈地笑了一声:“你还是和以前一样,关键时刻,总需要我的帮助。”Shewalked, lifts the hand, bringingboth hands of living persontemperatureto buildon the Lawrenceshoulder.
她走了过来,抬起手,带着活人温度的双手搭在劳伦斯肩膀上。„Youneedto strengthen, as well assoberjudgment......”
“你需要坚定自我,以及清醒的判断……”Lawrenceknits the browsgently, a littledoubts.劳伦斯轻轻皱眉,有点疑惑。„Can sailormister, askyoufirstto leave?”Marthahas turned the head, looked that tofromstartedthenquitehonestAnomaly077a moment ago, „the Vanished Fleetmasterwill satisfyyourcoordination.”
“水手先生,可以请你先离开一下吗?”玛莎又转过头,看向从刚才开始便颇为老实的异常077,“失乡舰队的主人会满意你的配合的。”
The dry corpse of thatwearsailoroverallsstartlesimmediatelyall of a sudden, a few wordsdid not say that thenturned aroundto leave the bridge.
那穿着水手罩衫的干尸顿时激灵一下子,一句话不说便转身离开了舰桥。Lawrencerespondedanythingprobablysuddenly, hurriedopens the mouth: „......”劳伦斯则好像突然反应过来什么,匆忙开口:“等……”But the front door of bridgehas closed.
但舰桥的大门已经关上了。Anomaly077ran up to corridorfast, in heonlyhearsindistinctlyhearsLawrenceCaptainlastto yell:异常077飞快地跑到了门外的走廊上,他只隐隐约约听到里面传来劳伦斯船长的最后一声喊叫:„Martha——Ithis yearalready more than 60!”
“玛莎——我今年已经六十多了!”
The followingsoundhewas not cruel enoughto listen.
后面的动静他就不忍心听了。A moment later, the doorpostrotationsoundtransmits, Anomaly771shrink the neck, turns the headto lookdiscretely,sawthatfemaleadventureris standingbefore the gate, on the facehas the relaxedhappysmile.
片刻之后,一阵吱吱嘎嘎的门轴转动声传来,异常077一缩脖子,谨慎地转头看去,看到那位女冒险家正站在门前,脸上带着轻松愉快的笑容。Lawrencealsowalkedfiercely, afterseeingentranceAnomaly077, hethrowsline of sight—— that immediatelyhaswarningmeaning then rushedto cover the head, looked fierce.
紧接着,劳伦斯也龇牙咧嘴地走了出来,在看到门口的异常077之后,他立刻投去了一道带着警告意味的视线——接着便又赶忙捂了捂脑袋,更加龇牙咧嘴起来。Anomaly077takes back the line of sightimmediately, is reducingownsense of existencelike a genuinecorpsediligently.异常077顿时收回视线,努力像一具真正的尸体那样降低着自己的存在感。Obviously, punchedruthlessly.
显然,揍了顿狠的。„Nowcanaccept?”Marthahas turned the head, having the happy expressionto saytoLawrence.
“现在能接受了?”玛莎转过头,带着笑意对劳伦斯说道。Lawrencecovers the place that on the headis swelling, hedoes not know why the oneselfcurrentshapenearlyspiritbody can actually be so beaten violentlybyMartha, heonlyknewthisdetailsimportantlyalreadyno longer: „Canaccept, canaccept......”劳伦斯捂着脑袋上肿起来的地方,他不知道为什么自己当前的形态近乎灵体却还是能被玛莎如此狠揍一顿,他只知道这种细节问题早已不再重要:“能接受了,能接受了……”DriftsonBoundless Sea, mentality that needsall things to look on the bright side of thing.
在无垠海上漂泊,还是需要万事想得开的心态。After allnowlooks like, ifoneselfcannot look on the bright side of thing, Marthawill helponeself„opening” the straightforwarddisposition of ——femaleadventurer more than onesuch as the years ago, butoneselfmaybe over fifty-year- old person......
毕竟现在看来,如果自己想不开,玛莎就会帮自己“开”——女冒险家的豪爽脾性一如多年以前,但自己可已经是年过半百的老人了……„Then, weshouldconsider the proper business,”on the Marthafacehas the smile, both handsto hold the chestto leanin the front door, „sleepilyhereis notmeans.”
“那么接下来,我们就该考虑考虑正事了,”玛莎脸上带着微笑,双手抱胸倚靠在大门上,“一直困在这里可不是个办法。”Heardthissaying, Lawrencerestrains the numerous and diversetrains of thought in heartimmediately, the complexionfollowedbecomesserious: „Martha, Iwantto askyoua moment ago, what kind ofcondition is thissea area? Do youknow that leavesheremethod?”
听到这话,劳伦斯顿时收敛起了心中的繁杂思绪,脸色跟着变得严肃起来:“玛莎,我刚才就想问你了,这片海域到底是个怎样的状态?你知不知道离开这里的方法?”„...... Iwantto replyyou, butwas sorryvery much,”Marthasilenttwoseconds, having the apology saying that „I, althoughpaced back and forthheremanyyears, butin the final analysis, Ialso was just stranded one of the manyshamsherewiththisship, buta littlecanaffirm...... thistrimsea areaactually, Cold FrostCity-Statecentered onthat‚’, ifherereallyhasonewith the Real Worldstaggeredcrevice, thatalsocertainlyinCold Frost.”
“……我很想回答你,但很抱歉,”玛莎沉默了两秒钟,带着歉意说道,“我虽然在这里徘徊了很多年,但说到底,我和这艘船也只不过是被困在这里的诸多赝品之一罢了,不过有一点倒是可以肯定……这整片海域,都是以那座‘寒霜城邦’为核心的,如果这里真的存在一个和现实世界交错的裂隙,那也一定就在寒霜。”
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