‚ Besides the work, other full time your father stays at home, anything does not do, but calmly looked book that some you cannot understand completely. You know, these books are the project are related, you also know, your father is the well-known colleges and universities project specialized graduation. ‘除了工作外,其余的全部时间你父亲都呆在家里,什么也不做,只是静静地看一些你完全看不懂的书。你知道,那些书是工程相关的,你也知道,你父亲是名校工程专业毕业。 But he never does any and project related work, he rather receives the government relief fund, sweeps the avenue, does not look for the work. 但他从来不做任何和工程相关的工作,他宁可领政府救济金,扫大街,也不去找工作。 Knew that his person, called him for strange Johann. 认识他的人,都称呼他为奇怪的老约翰。 Yes, your name from him. Why you are very strange your mother not to let you and your father are surnamed actually take to you with the father-like name, but you have not asked that you thought that this issue besides will obtain one to curse angrily even is beats mercilessly anything unable to obtain. 是的,你的名字来自他。你很奇怪为什么你母亲不愿意让你和你父亲姓却给你取同父亲一样的名,但你从来没有问过,你觉得这种问题除了会得到一顿怒骂甚至是毒打外什么都得不到。 You remember when elementary school the teacher makes you write your father, you described family circumstances to be superior your father in the thesis, have the training knowledgeable gentleman. Your father in your thesis is a bridge engineer, lives in the rich block, he loves you very much, to you will demonstrate that his bridge model, before will tell rests the story to you, can lead you to camp. That is your complete fantasy to the father, although your father has not achieved. 你记得小学时老师让你写你的父亲,你在作文中将你的父亲描述成一位家境优越,有修养有学识的绅士。在你的作文里你的父亲是一位桥梁工程师,住在富人街区,他很爱你,会给你展示他的桥梁模型,会给你讲睡前故事,会带你去野营。那是你对父亲的全部幻想,虽然你父亲一项都没有做到。 You asked the father to sign in this thesis specially, his bamboo slip has not looked at the content carelessly. 你特意请父亲在这篇作文上签名,他只是草草一签没看内容。 Because this thesis you were criticized by the teacher, the schoolmate ridiculed you to indulge in fantasy, mother was in an uncontrollable rage to your thesis. 因为这篇作文你被老师批评,同学嘲笑你异想天开,母亲对你的作文怒不可遏。 These you were used. 这些你都习惯了。 Compared with mother family/home, you like staying side the father. Although his house is small and chaotic, in the evening sleeps under the mattress is the insect harasses you not to be peaceful, but your father will not bellow to yell to you, will not get drunk pounds beverage bottle randomly. Here you can look book that these contemporaries cannot understand, some are the maths, some are the physics, the book in your father family/home arrives innumerably, is mostly broken, you often saw some, only then half of formulas do not know that the other half is anything. 比起母亲家,你更喜欢呆在父亲身边。尽管他的房子又小又乱,晚上睡觉的时候床垫下全是虫子扰得你不得安生,但你父亲不会对你大吼大叫,不会喝醉了乱砸酒瓶子。在这里你可以看那些同龄人看不懂的书,有的是数学,有的是物理,你父亲家中的书多到数不清,大多是残破的,你时常看到一些只有一半的公式不知道另一半是什么。 Only then in reading, you can realize the joy. You know that you are more intelligent than most people, wants compared with most people like your father intelligently, you are the same, you thought that you understand him, he also understands you. 只有在看书的时候,你才能体会到久违的快乐。你知道你比绝大多数人都要聪明,就像你父亲比绝大多数人要聪明一样,你们是一样的,你觉得你理解他,他也理解你。 You often can think, you do not have the friend, is not because you wash the old clothes of blanch, is not book bag that because your picks from the trash can, is not because by has a child the family that unceasingly seeks the government subsidy, because the talent is always eccentric. 你时常会想,你没有朋友,不是因为你洗得发白的旧衣,不是因为你那个从垃圾桶里捡来的书包,也不是因为靠不断生孩子来谋取政府补贴的家庭,只是因为天才总是孤僻的。 Your father is so strange, because he is an eccentric talent. 你父亲这么古怪,因为他是个孤僻的天才。 Your father often a person calmly sits in the room, about you were feeling the book that is obscurely difficult to understand looks is a afternoon, to will take cleaning tool going out to work to the dusk reluctant, the trash of processing block. When comes back in the evening, brings the whole body trash taste, looks for the thing that the point can eat casually, finished eating continues to read his book. 你父亲时常一个人静静坐在房间里,对着一本你觉得晦涩难懂的书一看就是一个下午,一直到黄昏将至才不情不愿地拿着清洁工具出去工作,处理街区的垃圾。等到晚上才回来,带着满身的垃圾味,随便找点能吃的东西,吃完继续读他的书。 Once your parents also lived in the together time, your mother often cursed him is a lunatic. But this lunatic will reply that your each issue, with the microwave oven hotly the meal that is good you to eat, will remind you to eat meal, will make you go to bed to sleep, even when you go to school delivers to the block mouth you. 曾经你父母还住一起的时候,你母亲经常咒骂他是疯子。但这个疯子会回答你的每个问题,会用微波炉热好你能吃的饭菜,会提醒你吃饭,会让你上床睡觉,甚至会在你上学的时候把你送到街区口。 You like this lunatic. 你喜欢这个疯子。 You most like eating meal with the father together, his movement forever is most agile, even if sits on the ground must straighten up the back, in the hand never contaminates any meat juices cooked in soy bean sauce, will not send out to chew food the sound, never and person in eating meal talked. 你最喜欢和父亲一起吃饭,他的动作永远是最利落的,哪怕是坐在地上也要挺直脊背,手上从不沾染任何酱汁,不会发出嘴嚼食物的声音,也从不在吃饭的时候与人交谈。 Whenever you live when father family/home, he will finish after the morning work buys a smoked meat egg sandwich for you while convenient, although mother, when will be happy also to make the sandwich to you, will have the egg to have the meat to have the tomato to have the greens to have the salad dressing, is more sumptuous, but you who the father will buy will like the father buying for your. Because you know that the father never eats the sandwich, he buys for you, but mother is only her pure wants to eat. 每当你住在父亲家时,他都会在早上的工作结束后顺便给你买一个熏肉蛋三明治,虽然母亲在心情好的时候也会给你做三明治,有蛋有肉有番茄有生菜有沙拉酱,比父亲买的更加丰盛,但你还是喜欢父亲买给你的。因为你知道父亲从来不吃三明治,他买是为了你,而母亲只是她单纯的想吃。 You like this unique feeling. Even if the father does not like you, he buys the sandwich possibly still to buy for you conveniently, but this is the privilege that you at age 14 can have only. 你喜欢这种独一无二的感觉。即使父亲并不喜欢你,他给你买三明治可能也只是随手一买,但这是14岁以前的你唯一能拥有的特权。 …… …… At age 14, you were like your Elder Brother elder sister, in the aunt parents of son or daughter-in-law moved. 14岁那年,你同你的哥哥姐姐一样,从母亲家中搬了出去。 Your departure has not stirred up cursing and quarrel of mother, she has handed over the new boyfriend, had two children. Became mother to make her temperament good once again many, she had no time to pay attention to you again, you will not sweep clear in the family/home like the childhood like that at times. 你的离开没有惹得母亲的咒骂和争吵,她已经交了新男友,又生了两个小孩。再次成为母亲让她的脾气都好了不少,她无暇再关注你,你也不像小时候那般会时时清扫家里。 In fact, she possibly looks forward to you to move. In the family/home were many three people, the spacious family/home becomes was insufficient, your departure can vacate a room, she does not need to undertake any fosters your expense also to obtain the allowance as usual. 实际上,她可能巴不得你搬出去。家中多了三个人,原本宽敞的家也变得不够用了,你的离开可以空出一个房间来,她也无需承担任何抚养你的费用还可以照常获得津贴。 Knew the news that you want to move, elder sister also contacts with you to make you go to her there to live. She is very outstanding female, obtained the full scholarship to attend the police school by own effort, after graduating, entered the local police authorities, the present is a policewoman, she was also glad to take care of your outstanding younger brother very much. 得知你想搬出去的消息,姐姐桑妮还联系你让你去她那里住。她是位很优秀的女性,凭借自己的努力获得全额奖学金读了警察学校,毕业后进入了当地警局,现在是一名女警,她也很乐意照顾你这位优秀的弟弟。 But you rejected, because you want to live with the father. 但你拒绝了,因为你想和父亲住。 Is willing to make you live in his family/home incident unexpectedly you to feel very pleasantly surprised regarding the father. Even if he said that he has paid for the child support payment therefore not to spend the one cent on you, he only provides a small bed to you, all your expenditures must depend on itself, but this as before is an astonishing matter. 对于父亲居然愿意让你住到他家一事你感到很惊喜。即使他表示他已经支付过抚养费所以不会在你身上多花一分钱,他只给你提供一张小床,你的一切开支都要靠自己,但这依旧是一件让人吃惊的事。 You thought that he will accept, possibly is because you are your father's three child girls'school and he are together most. 你觉得他会接受,可能是因为你是你父亲的三个子女中和他相处最多的。 For money-making, you start to deliver the milk and newspaper every morning, after being on vacation from school, has the odd-job, for all this, your result is still outstanding. 为了赚钱,你开始每天早上送牛奶和报纸,放学之后去打零工,尽管如此,你的成绩依旧优异。 These year of mothers continuously in unceasing trading boyfriend, even also looked for a work. But the father is just the same as always, a person lives alone, without the friend, looks like a nail to take root in tenaciously generally does not belong to his rich block. 这些年母亲一直在不断的换男友,甚至还找了一份工作。但父亲还是老样子,一个人独居,没有朋友,固执地像一根钉子一般扎根在不属于他的富人街区。 Several years ago he started to write the note, in the notebook all was lets the formula and schematic diagram that the person could not understand. The elder sister sees him to hope that several times he changes a work to change the environment, to quarrel to finish each time, since he took the elder sister after last year his thing all threw, the elder sister again has not gone to see him. 前几年他开始写笔记,笔记本上全是让人看不懂的公式和草图。姐姐去看望过他好几次希望他换份工作换个居住环境,每次都以争吵结束,自从去年他把姐姐带给他的东西全都扔出去以后,姐姐就再也没去看望过他。 You also start to discover, you and father are different. 你也开始发现,你和父亲是不同的。 You did not understand that he is unable to understand him, but you long for understanding him, this is you are possibly tenacious wants to stay together with him reason. 你根本就不了解他也无法理解他,但你又那么渴望理解他,这可能就是你固执得想要和他住在一起的原因。 But you do not dislike him, because he is the elder who will attend your parents' meeting only, although you only have two elders. 但你并不讨厌他,因为他是唯一会去参加你的家长会的长辈,虽然你只有两个长辈。 You are very strange, why your father never mentioned his family member. In addition mother will curse the father who her will only drink restaurant suddenly/violently in the alcoholic intoxication loudly, but your father looks like that jumps from the stone seam, does not have any relatives and friends. 你很奇怪,为什么你的父亲从来不提及他的亲人。母亲尚且会在醉酒的时候大声咒骂她那个只会喝酒家暴的父亲,但你的父亲就像是从石头缝里蹦出来的一样,没有任何亲朋好友。 You only know that he is immigrates, you did not even know his once country, his passing. You thought sometimes he comes certainly family education specially good riches and honor others, sometimes thought he and your mother same grows up in a violent slum family. 你只知道他是移民过来的,你甚至不知道他曾经的国家,他的过往。你有时觉得他一定出身一个家教特别好的富贵人家,有时又觉得他和你母亲一样是在一个充满暴力的贫民窟家庭长大的。 He never mentioned these, but stayed in his hut and world lonely isolates. 他从不提及这些,只是孤独地呆在他的小屋里与世界隔绝。 He is really an odd person. 他真是个怪人。 Like you. 和你一样。 …… …… 19 th this year, you to collect college fee, enters a milk processing plant to work. 19岁这年,你为了筹集大学学费,进入一家牛奶工厂打工。 This is a very laborious work, you must keep transporting the abundant but actually half person of high milk barrel every day, every day works for ten hours, the noisy workshop is hard to find peaceful place, among the colleagues the vulgar joke keeps you from integrating them. 这是一份很辛苦的工作,你每天得不停地搬运盛倒半人高的牛奶桶,每天工作十个小时,嘈杂的厂房难以觅得一处安静之地,同事间粗鄙的玩笑让你无法融入他们。 You are here celebrity, because you tested into University of Manchester, although is less than your father's alma mater but sufficiently your to hold in high esteem. You know, your destiny will soon therefore change, all these because of your extraordinary mind, this is your father gives your most precious thing. 你是这里的名人,因为你考上了曼彻斯特大学,虽然不及你父亲的母校但足以让你身边的人刮目相看。你知道,你的命运即将因此而改变,这一切都因为你非凡的头脑,这是你父亲所给予你的最宝贵的东西。 However you cannot understand the book that your father reads as before, does not understand the note that he writes, he image in your heart is more mystical, he thinks more intelligent than and outstanding you. You discovered that you are unable to become him, therefore you have not registered for with the specialty of his same bridge construction you once want to read, but chose the biology, division/discipline that you like truly. 但是你依旧看不懂你父亲看的书,不懂他写的笔记,他在你心中的形象更加神秘,他比你想得更加聪明和出色。你发现你无法成为他,所以你没有报考你曾经想读的和他一样的桥梁建造的专业,而是选择了生物学,你真正喜欢的学科。 In order to celebrate, the appropriate suit that you uses you to accumulate the money of buys one set of you to be able to bear to give to the father, shares your joy to him. What a pity your father does not like this gift, you have not seen him across this set of you for the western-style clothes of his careful choice, even has not possibly disassembled this gift. 为了庆祝,你用你攒下的钱买了一套你能负担得起的得体的西装送给父亲,向他分享你的喜悦。可惜你父亲并不喜欢这个礼物,你从来没见他穿过这套你为他精心挑选的西服,甚至可能没有拆开过这份礼物。 From that day you deeply realized, he does not love you, he does not love anybody, he has lived in oneself world. He who once you thought to your unusual is just your misconception, you to him are also passer-by who had the blood relationship. 从那一天起你才深刻意识到,他根本就不爱你,他不爱任何人,他一直活在自己的世界里。曾经你以为的他对你的与众不同只不过是你的错觉,你对他而言也不过是个有血缘关系的路人。 After clearly recognizing all these, you moved, rents one to be very near from the school with help alone, environment better does not have the apartment of trash and mouse. You have not given your father again anything, but once visited like occasionally. 在认清这一切后,你搬了出去,在桑妮的帮助下独自租下一个距离学校很近的,环境更好的没有垃圾和老鼠的公寓。你再也没有送给你父亲任何东西,只是像桑妮曾经那样偶尔去探望。 Parental word left your life finally, you were no longer restrained by anything, starts to be itself truly, starts to experience own life. 父母这个词终于离开了你的生活,你不再被任何事物所约束,真正开始做自己,开始体验属于自己的生活。 You started the new life. ’ 你开始了新的生活。’