*************************************************************************************************** *************************************************************************************************** Looks to immerse in 【Happiness】 In Queen of night, I am speechless for a very long time, is not only happy for her, and has an indescribable sadness, why does not know, in the mind produced a wee bit does not know that is thing that clearly became aware. 看着沉浸在【幸福】之中的月神,我久久无语,既为她感到高兴,又有股难以言喻的悲伤,不知为何,脑海中产生了丁点不知道算不算是明悟的东西。 Perhaps...... possible...... probably, the time of Queen of night Sir...... regarding the Queen of night, her time has stagnated forever firmly stays in the past years, in that laurel, in the eyes of that youngster, regardless at this time and I have a reunion, met with the girls, exposes to put behind the smile, understood the happy concept finally...... these days, regardless of she passed how colorful, her time, her person, her heart, still fixed in that moment permanently, has not changed. 或许……可能……大概,月神大人的时间……对于月神而言,她的时间已经永远固滞停留在了当年,在那颗月桂树,在那位少年的眼中,无论此时和我重逢,和女孩们相遇,重新展露出忘却掉的笑容,终于理解了幸福的概念……无论这段时间她度过的如何多姿多彩,她的时间,她的人,她的心,依然永久固定在了那一刻,没有变过。 Yes, although that time youngster was I, I was that time youngster, but one time was the experience passes through or several times of samsara, but to the Queen of night, we was also perhaps different, the production of this difference was not because the person changed, was not the soul caught other colors, but was because, what she missed was the youngster of that time, rather than I at this moment. 是的,虽然那时的少年就是我,我就是那时的少年,只不过是历经过一次或数次轮回,但是对月神而言,我们或许又是不同的,这种差异的产生并非是因为人变了,也并非灵魂染上了其他色彩,只不过是因为,她思念的是那个时间的少年,而不是此刻的我。 Present she, is not me, but was that time youngster, this light clear(ly) became aware, making me love dearly somewhat did not know whether to laugh or cry. 现在的她,不属于我,而是属于那时的少年,这种淡淡的明悟,令我心疼的有些哭笑不得。 However, but...... 但是,但是…… First drops out this bitterly and astringently, no matter, the innermost feelings always have the unquenchable impulsion to gush out, told me, was not right, perhaps the Queen of night has not spoken the truth, she has not told or the truth, not only stopped is this reason. 先抛下这份苦涩不管,内心总有难以抑制的冲动涌出,告诉我,不对,或许月神并没有说实话,亦或者说,她并没有把实话说完,不单止是这个理由。 This impulsion comes unfounded, possibly merely is a subtle sixth sense, even possibly as 【That time youngster】 Sensibility that have inexplicably. 这股冲动来的毫无理由,可能仅仅是一丝微妙的第六感,甚至可能是身为【那时的少年】的自己,莫名产生的感悟。 To know, really wants to know, at that time, dropped out lonely person of you, true idea. 想知道,真的很想知道,那个时候,被抛下孤独一人的你,真正的想法。 Under the laurel, my stood up, raised the head suddenly, uses oneself all wills to make an effort to gaze at the Queen of night Sir, this time, will not give up halfway absolutely, will not drop out you absolutely! 月桂树下,我忽然站了起来,抬起头,倾尽自己所有的意志用力注视着月神大人,这次,绝对不会半途而废,绝对不会抛下你了！ „I want to know, certainly also has other reasons, right.” “我想知道,一定还有其他理由,对吧。” Even if were so gazing , the complexion of Queen of night Sir as before gentle tranquil, has not revealed slightly the flaw loophole. 哪怕被这般注视着,月神大人的面色依旧柔和平静,没有露出丝毫破绽漏洞。 „Why...... do you think?” “为什么……你会这么想？” „Why without, thought so, certainly, has certainly other reasons, but pure believes that not?” “没有为什么,就是这么觉得,一定,一定还有其他理由,只是单纯的这么认为,难道不可以吗？” „You, are as before, clumsy lovable, but also is very occasionally keen.” “你啊,还是和以前一样,笨拙的可爱,但偶尔又十分敏锐。” „In other words did I guess right?” I at present one bright , really so, wants to know, perhaps the conscience of Queen of night, knew, can recall all these, can the Queen of night Sir from that time, from the eyes of that youngster, draw to truly own side. “也就是说我猜对了？”我眼前一亮,果然,果然如此,更加想知道了,月神的本心,或许知道了,就能挽回这一切,就能将月神大人从那个时间,从那位少年的眼中,真正拉到自己身边。 „Although had planned deceives you, but after looking at your look, knows that is not easy to give up, really does not have the means.” The Queen of night said with a smile softly, sighs lightly. “虽然有打算过骗一骗你,不过看了你的眼神后,就知道没那么容易放弃,真没办法。”月神柔柔笑道,轻叹了一口气。 „Because the Queen of night Sir is a gentle Spiritual God.” I make an effort to nod, even if deceives this matter, is very difficult to achieve, like Valise. “因为月神大人是个温柔的神灵。”我用力点头,哪怕是欺骗这种事情,也很难做到,就像维拉丝一样。 „Gentle......, is not only...... closes the eyes to...... me”, the Queen of night does not know why has not said that opens eyes again, her vision has actually decided. “温柔……不,不对……我只是……”合上眼,月神不知为何没有说下去,再次睁眼的时候,她却目光已定。 „Although was guessed correctly by you, but, I do not plan to say.” “虽然被你猜到了,但是,我并不打算说出来。” „Why?” I lose one's voice to ask, why does not want, to this kind of time, your goal, your wish, why not agrees told me? “为什么？”我失声问道,为什么不愿意,都到这种时候了,你的目的,你的心愿,为什么还是不肯告诉我？ „Because......” tilts the head thinks, the Queen of night shows the intoxicated holy smile again. “因为……”歪头想了想,月神再次露出令人心醉的圣洁笑容。 „Because, you will cry.” “因为,你会哭的。” „On...... because of this reason?” I stare dumbfounded, killing has not thought that unexpectedly is this reason, moreover a Queen of night face earnest expression, has not deceived my meaning at this matter. “就……就因为这种理由？”我瞠目结舌,打死也没想到竟然是这种理由,而且偏偏月神一脸认真的表情,并没有在这种事上骗我的意思。 „Yes, I am afraid see others to cry, is afraid sees others to feel embarrassed, particularly you, therefore does not want, this is the reason.” “是的,我害怕见到别人哭,更害怕见到别人为难,尤其是你,所以不愿意,这就是理由。” „I do not care.” “我不在意。” „But I care.” “但是我在意。” „If I can know may not?” I am staring at the Queen of night firmly, this was the last chance, absolutely, cannot let off absolutely, even if will let Queen of night awkward method with some. “如果我非要知道不可呢？”我牢牢盯着月神,这是最后的机会了,绝对,绝对不能放过,哪怕用一些会让月神为难的手段。 „If so......” the Queen of night sighed slightly, did not have the appearance of means with me, was eventually tenderhearted. “如果是这样的话……”月神微微叹息,一副拿我没办法的样子,终究还是心软了。 „, Is gained the answer by yourself personally, but, you will certainly regret that certain meeting.” “那么,就由你自己亲自来获取答案吧,但是,你一定会后悔的,一定会。” She used the affirmation incomparable warning tone, knew in the heart that the Queen of night Sir will not lie, I vacillated, but immediately again firm. 她用了肯定无比的告诫语气,心知月神大人不会撒谎,我内心动摇了一下,但是随即再次坚定。 „Although does not know that can be the matter that anything made me regret, but, I only know now, if chose to be ignorant, making a Queen of night Sir person withstand silently, I will regret.” “虽然不知道会是什么令我后悔的事情,但是,我现在只知道,如果选择一直懵懂下去,让月神大人一个人默默承受,我会更加后悔。” Raised the head again, I a firmer vision, will throw by the Queen of night, told her own determination. 再次抬起头,我将更加坚决的目光,投以月神,告诉她自己的决心。 „Right?” Facing such me, the Queen of night is only the sigh closes the beautiful pupil, resembles does not endure, resembles the vacillation, no longer spoke, that dreamlike physique, fell gently slowly from the treetop, stood before me, exhausted world all gorgeous literary flourishes is also not enough to describe that her his fine slender and delicate white hands, handed over. “是吗？”面对这样的我,月神只是叹息的合上美眸,似不忍,似动摇,不再说话,那如梦似幻的身姿,缓缓从树梢上飘落下来,站在我面前,将她那用尽世间一切华美辞藻也不足以形容其精致纤柔的玉手,递了过来。 The answer at present, the deep breath that I made an effort several tones, even if in the soul world, could not restrain to shiver, extended own hand, gripped that only soft small hand, studied the Queen of night to close the eyes together, as if returned to me just to meet with her...... not, was the reunion time, she reappeared that important memory to my time. 答案就在眼前,我用力的深呼吸了好几口气,哪怕是在灵魂世界中,亦克制不住颤抖的,将自己的手伸了上去,握住那只柔软的小手,学着月神一起合上眼,仿佛又回到了我刚刚和她相遇……不,是重逢的时候,她把那段重要记忆重现给我的时刻。 Then, naturally, the memory fragment that passes from the Queen of night, appeared from the mind in again, gives a cursory look and gains shallow understanding of pass over gently and swiftly generally fast, even if were this, if these fragments also the inexhaustible sky sea, the formed huge vortex will be only of small boat will inhale. 而后,理所当然的,从月神那儿传过来的记忆片段,再次自脑海中浮现,走马观花一般飞快掠过,哪怕是这样,这些片段亦如无穷无尽的天空海洋,形成的巨大漩涡将只是一叶扁舟的自己吸入其中。 These memories , were really huge, in the vortex, my vision only followed scene that these seemed to have met before with enough time, had a liking for one, actually omitted did not know many. 这些记忆,实在,实在是太庞大了,漩涡之中,我的目光只来得及跟随那些似曾相识的镜头,看上一眼,却是遗漏了不知多少。 However, I did not worry, these memory Queen of night Sirs when are ordinary Angel, during as well as to afterward the war of original sin memory, is not the thing that I must care about now. 不过,我并不担心,这些记忆都还是月神大人在还是一名普通天使的时候,以及到了后来原罪之战期间的记忆,并非我现在要去在意的东西。 The memory fragment does not know how long to pass over gently and swiftly, perhaps is several minutes, perhaps is several years , I had the gloomy and cold helpless feeling gradually, probably fell into the jet black boundless world, continuously in the darkness, unceasing walk, or sits down, either sleeps, regardless of makes anything, when recovers, sizes up the surrounding time again, is still a darkness, forever will be without limits. 记忆的片段不知掠过了多久,或许是几分钟,或许是好几年,渐渐地,我产生了阴冷无助的感觉,好像陷入了漆黑无边的世界,一直在黑暗中,不断的行走,或者坐下,或者睡觉,无论做些什么,当回过神来,再次打量周围的时候,依然是一片漆黑,永无止境。 I know, this is not own feeling, but after is the Queen of night Sir becomes the Spiritual God, after numb lonely, transmitted from these memory fragments that having been through repeatedly the innumerable years produces gradually to me unknowingly, perhaps be only 1%, 1/1000 so many, have let me such as the falling icehouse, as if all sentiments and memory colors, were frozen, the myriad things became black and white. 我知道,这并非是自己的感觉,而是月神大人成为神灵之后,在历经无数岁月后渐渐产生的麻木孤独,不经意间自这些记忆片段传达给了我,或许只有百分之一,千分之一那么多,却已经让我如坠冰窖,仿佛所有的感情和记忆色彩,都被冻结起来,万物变得一片黑白。 Is only a soul induces, is so, did the Queen of night withstand the fearful years to suffer at that time? I do not dare to imagine, does not endure to imagine. 仅仅只是一丝灵魂感应,便已是如此,月神那时候又是承受了何等可怕的岁月折磨呢？我不敢想象,不忍想象。 Finally, becomes the black and white and brutal memory vortex, passing speed suddenly earth-shaking transformation slow, arrives place that I was familiar with, presented a color gradually. 终于,变得黑白而残酷的记忆漩涡,流逝速度忽地变缓,来到了我熟悉的地方,渐渐又出现了一丝色彩。 This is as youngster I, with that time of Queen of night meet, compared to the Queen of night long years, a drop in the bucket was also not enough to describe, was actually the memory color most vivid time. 这是身为少年的我,和月神相遇的那一段时间,相对于月神悠长岁月而言,九牛一毛也不足以形容,却是记忆色彩最生动的时候。 The taste cherishes the memory of this remembering again, finally arrived at the end, intention not realistic dream, chose departure, after the Queen of night promised the agreement mutually, tracks down own dream. Until reviews this moment, I confirmed a matter. 再次品味缅怀这段记忆,最终还是到了尽头,心怀不现实梦想的自己,选择了离开,和月神互相许下约定后,去追寻自己的梦想。直到重温这一刻,我才确认了一件事。 Tracking down the dream is a reason, the reason of but compared with tracking down the dream, perhaps evading is heavier. 追寻梦想是一个理由,但是比起追寻梦想,恐怕逃避的理由更重一些。 Yes, that time I, that youngster, chose escape, a clumsy dumb kid, had no merit to speak of probably, met volume in world all merits in a noble princess, even if were to the utmost in the third-class knight novel of strong point of fantasize, bridge section that also does not dare to write, on oneself. 是的,那时候的我,那位少年,选择了逃避,就好像一个笨拙的傻小子,一无是处,遇到了集世间一切优点于一身的高贵公主殿下,哪怕是极尽意淫之能事的三流骑士小说里,也不敢这么写的桥段,发生在了自己身上。 Who like this have no merit to speak, facing the inexplicable favor of so outstanding princess, do not feel lucky, but feels to feel inferior, produces the idea of evading, isn't the natural matter? This moment I can understand, but, is unable to forgive such. 这样一无是处的自己,面对如此优秀的公主殿下的莫名青睐,不是觉得幸运,而是感到自卑,产生逃避的想法,不是理所当然的事情吗？这一刻的我非常能够理解,但是,无法原谅这样的自己。 Brings to self-ridicule the smile, looked that this slowed down, after representative the Queen of night most precious memory, the memory vortex accelerates again, and along with long darkness, this was the Spiritual God Sir fell into the deep sleep. 带着自嘲笑容,看完这一段被放慢的,代表着月神最宝贵的记忆后,记忆的漩涡再次加速,并且伴随着漫长的一段段黑暗,这是神灵大人陷入了沉睡。 Until arrived at the Hell invasion, for that small agreement, the Queen of night chose Sacrifice all, the speed of memory vortex slows down, but also merely is, has no way compared with before that just like the Queen of night said, she not extremely noble great, but to complete that small agreement that own Sacrifice looks. 直至到了地狱入侵,为了那一个小小的约定,月神选择了牺牲一切,记忆漩涡的速度才放慢一点,但也仅仅是一点,和之前那段没法相比,正如月神所说,她并没有把自己的牺牲看的太过高尚伟大,只不过是为了完成那个小小的约定而已。 Also is a long blackness sinks the dormancy, presents the picture again time, is that moment that I and Eva presents, immediately is familiar incomparable, the Saint moon/month virtue Wolf body quilt 【Kidnapping】, Valise, Sarah, Lina, Aalto Liya, Tiya...... and so on girls appear in the memory fragment one by one, from 【Youngster】 After leaving, the Queen of night Sir duplicate/restores becomes the black and white ice-cold memory, with the appearances of these girls, catches the vivid color again. 又是一段漫长的漆黑沉眠,再次出现画面的时候,已经是我和爱娃儿出现的那一刻,随即是熟悉无比的一幕幕,圣月贤狼的身体被【绑架】,维拉丝,莎拉,琳娅,阿尔托莉雅,蒂亚……等等女孩逐一出现在记忆片段之中,自【少年】离开后,月神大人复又变得黑白冰冷的记忆,随着这些女孩的出现,再次染上生动色彩。 Is reviewing this warm, I know, the answer has left itself nearly is very very near. 重温着这温馨的一幕幕,我知道,答案已经离自己很近很近了。 Finally, picture, frames on that a few words that in the Queen of night said goodbye. 终于,画面一顿,定格在了月神道别的那一句话上面。 „, Was satisfied.” “诶,满足了。” The sentiment of short several characters, contains actually just like the tsunami, instantaneously, the picture breaks down the innumerable fragments, swamps into the palm of my observer, Queen of night that limpid holy, is full of the sentimental the voice, reverberates in the mind soft. 短短几个字,所包含的感情却宛如海啸,瞬间,画面破裂成无数的碎片,涌入我这个旁观者的掌心之中,月神那清澈圣洁,饱含感情的声线,随之在脑海中柔软地回荡。 Really was good...... 啊,真的是太好了…… Has actually satisfied...... 已经,其实早已经满足了…… Can see with one's own eyes, some so many people are caring about you...... 能亲眼看到,有那么多人在关心你…… That lonely youngster, does not need to be worried to be lonely now again...... 那个孤独的少年,如今已经不用再担心会孤独了…… Sees present you, crossed is so good, then happy...... 看到现在的你,过的那么好,那么幸福…… I already very ten points...... 我已经十分十分的…… Satisfied...... 满足了…… ...... …… Is embracing these precious memory fragments, I cannot bear again, tears from soul, been able to bear flowing copiously. 怀抱着这些珍贵的记忆碎片,我再也忍不住,来自灵魂的泪水,忍不住的夺眶而出。 Really the fool, idiot, to this kind of time, was actually also thinking these, is actually only thinking good that I cross, does have the person to replace you to care about me, therefore said that your fool, forever forever is lonely one person, forever will never think of oneself. 真是笨蛋,大笨蛋一个,都到了这种时候了,竟然还想着这些,竟然只想着我过的好不好,有没有人代替你关心我,所以才说你这种笨蛋,永远永远都是孤单一人,永远永远都不会为自己着想。 The so heavy sentiment,...... looks like my spiritless fellow people like me, how should withstand, tells me, you to tell me?! 如此沉甸甸的感情,像我这种人……像我这种懦弱的家伙,应该怎么样去承受,告诉我,你到是告诉我呀？！ Is this regret that she said? If truly, can return initially, returns to that time, I will certainly fling that youngster 180 palms of the hand, making you evade!! Let you track down the dream!!! 这就是她所说的后悔吗？确实,如果能回到当初,回到那个时间,我一定会甩那个少年一百八十巴掌,让你逃避！！让你追寻梦想！！！ However, really only then these? The intuition told me, should also continue, recalled that Queen of night at that time stern earnest expression, I could not bear tremble, the determination that under has decided vacillated again. Told itself sanely loudly, cannot inquire about again, will otherwise only ask for trouble, otherwise can only lose, fell into during bigger self- dislike lamentation. 但是,真的就只有这些吗？直觉告诉我,应该还不止,回想起月神当时严峻认真的表情,我忍不住打颤,已经下定的决心再次动摇。理智大声的告诉自己,不能再探寻下去了,否则只会自讨苦吃,否则只会自我迷失,陷入更大的自我厌恶悔恨当中。 However...... dried the tears, watches the memory fragment in bosom, the next moment, my without hesitation their crumb, changes to the innumerable light corpuscles, integrates the body. 但是……擦干了泪水,看着怀抱里的记忆碎片,下一刻,我毫不犹豫的将它们捏碎,化作无数光粒,融入到身体当中。 That is the memory of Queen of night deeper level, the consciousness, perhaps is she had not even noticed, thing that also or is not willing to unearth. 那是月神更深层次的记忆,意识,或许是连她自己也没有留意到,亦或者是不愿意挖掘出来的东西。 Immediately, lonely, actually glorious incomparable, just like spreading for several thousand years, several tens of thousands of years of lamentation, with integrations of these light corpuscles, from within the body, continually multiplies from the soul, changes to the healthy growth Poison Creeper, since within the body breaks out, ties up the body of own soul firmly. 随即,一股冷清的,却悠久无比,宛如蔓延了数千年,数万年的悔恨,随着这些光粒的融入,自体内,自灵魂中不断滋生,化作茁壮生长的蔓藤,从体内破出,将自己的灵魂之躯牢牢捆缚。 This...... 这…… Disregards the soul as if to by the feeling that this lamentation imprisonment suffocates, I gawked, this is not own lamentation, but is the lamentation of Queen of night. 无视灵魂仿佛要被这股悔恨禁锢窒息的感觉,我愣了起来,这不是属于自己的悔恨,而是月神的悔恨。 What is the Queen of night Sir lamenting? Will gentle she, what lament? 月神大人在悔恨什么？温柔的她,到底会悔恨什么？ My static closing the eyes, whatever that punctures the vine of lamentation the skin grows, is tighter, must track down to explore, found the true answer that own soul ties up. 我静静的合着眼,任由那刺破皮肤生长出来的悔恨之藤,将自己的灵魂捆缚的更紧,也要追寻探索下去,找到真正答案。 Regret...... 后悔…… Is really good to regret...... 真的好后悔…… After that is the youngster leaves, almost Swallow Queen of night own strong feeling. 那是少年离开后,差点吞噬了月神自身的强烈感情。 Why oneself that spiritless...... 为什么自己那么懦弱…… Such, have what qualifications to ridicule him...... 这样的自己,有什么资格嘲笑他…… Why...... why...... why...... why...... why...... why why why...... 为什么……为什么……为什么……为什么……为什么……为什么为什么为什么…… Why, „remains to accompany me” including one, in this case, does not have the means to say...... 为什么,连一句“留下来陪我”,这样的话,也没办法说出口…… The regret, is really good to regret, hates such, is good to lament...... 后悔,真的好后悔,痛恨这样的自己,好悔恨啊…… However...... 但是…… If...... 如果说…… Because, agreed that not...... 因为,约定好了,不是吗…… Certainly, will certainly come back...... certainly to have a reunion...... 一定,一定会回来……一定会重逢的…… When the time comes, if......, if he is lonely a person...... if he is all alone...... that this time, absolutely...... absolutely...... 到时候,如果……如果他还是孤单一人……如果他还是无依无靠……那么这一次,绝对……绝对…… Has such a ray of hope, fills the lamentation of whole body to cool finally, the Queen of night falls into the long deep sleep again, calmly, calmly, waiting, is waiting for that moment to arrive. 带着这样的一线希望,弥漫全身的悔恨终于冷却下来,月神再次陷入漫长沉睡,静静地,静静地,等待着,等待着那一刻到来。 The result...... to...... does not have the means to say finally eventually...... 结果……到最后……终究还是没办法说出口…… Initially, wants saying that but does not dare to say...... 当初,是想说而不敢说…… Now, wants saying that but cannot say...... 现在,是想说而不能说…… Hiss several, almost will wrap Poison Creeper of cocoon, separates all, changes into the Queen of night, presents in front of me who have tears streaming down the face again, has the smile, opens wide the bosom, silent, hopes that gentle, extended the hand of invitation toward me. 嘶啦数声,几乎将自己包裹成一个茧子的蔓藤,尽数断开,化为月神,出现在再一次泪流满面的我面前,带着笑容,敞开怀抱,无声的,期盼的,温柔的,朝我伸出了邀请之手。 My subconscious extends the hand, wants to grip, actually lives in midair stop. Realized the significance of this hand representative, shivers for a long time, hesitant...... flinches confusedly............ crazy...... reckless...... 我下意识的把手伸过去,想要握住,却在半空停顿住。意识到了这一只手代表的意义,颤抖许久,犹豫……退缩……迷茫……疯狂……不顾一切…… Finally, faces hand that the Queen of night is extending, shed bitter tears, is incapable of kneeling down before her, that hung down, guilty, under the face of lamentation, said tore the mind sufficiently, making oneself lament the character language for a lifetime. 最后,面对着月神伸过来的手,痛哭流涕,无力跪倒在了她面前,那张低垂,愧疚,悔恨的面孔之下,说出了足以撕裂心灵,令自己悔恨一辈子的字语。 „Sorry......” “对不起……” ... 。。。