RINAPE :: Volume #14

#1343: Parents' regret and pursue

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Recognizes the adopted relative to be at the Haizhou custom, is a very officially also very grand matter. 认干亲在海州风俗来说,是件很正式也很隆重的事情。 Only then relates among the excellent friends , when or meets the younger generation that likes, will recognize the next adopted relative, moreover after this adopted relative recognized, basically will maintain for a lifetime. 只有关系极好的朋友之间,亦或者遇到非常喜欢的晚辈时,才会认下一门干亲,而且这干亲认了之后,基本上会维系一辈子的。 After 80 , 90 , after growing up, to this adopted relative relates processing is relatively more optional, the child had not sometimes lived, had looked for one group of Godfather godmothers to him, is, in last century Haizhou, will little present a child to have several Godfather godmothers extremely, or an adult has several adopted son or daughter's things, generally speaking, a child only has Godfather and godmother, an elder are also most, only then an adopted son or the daughter, the person of older generation pay great attention to this relations, to a certain extent, the godfather compared with West is much more important. 80后、90后长大之后,对这种干亲关系处理的相对随意了许多,有时候孩子还没生下来,就已经给他找了一堆干爹干妈,可是,在上世纪的海州,极少会出现一个孩子有好几个干爹干妈,亦或者一个成人有几个干儿子或者干女儿的事情,一般来说,一个孩子只有一个干爹和干妈,一个长辈也最多只有一个干儿子或者干女儿,老一辈的人非常注重这一层关系,某种程度上,比西方的教父还重要得多。 The Haizhou person pledged again, not only adopted relative very officially moreover attaches great importance, even the sworn brothers between friends, do not swear brotherhood casually, not only the sentiment is proper, but must pledge and speak the custom again, sworn brothers' parents and master milk, if passed away, according to the custom, the sworn brothers must wear mourning clothes, but wears the heavy mourning, not more than ten years later, ten 3-4 children have dozens No. over a hundred sworn brothers, optional that but does obeisance, being together is also very optional, ten years later also keeps the contact, can have 1-2 to be good. 海州人重承诺,不只是干亲非常正式而且重视,就算是朋友之间的把兄弟,也不是随随便便就结拜的,不但感情要到位,而且还要重承诺、讲规矩,把兄弟的父母、爷奶若是去世,按照规矩,把兄弟都要戴孝,而是戴重孝,不像十几年后,十三四孩子都有几十上百号把兄弟,但拜的随意,相处的也很随意,十年后还保持联系的,能有1-2就不错了。 Li Mu and Li Ziwei go home together gives Mother to telephone, Mother and father didn't expect Li Mu goes home ahead of time, therefore hurries to start to take care of the dinner, answers the Li Mu's telephone, Mother Li somewhat is suddenly anxious, asks Father Li: „You said Ziwei what to do, if isn't glad?” 李牧和李紫薇一起回家的时候给妈妈打了个电话,妈妈和爸爸没想到李牧提前回家,于是赶紧开始张罗晚饭,接完李牧的电话,李妈忽然有些紧张,问李爸:“你说紫薇要是不乐意怎么办？” Father Li said: „Should unable.” 李爸说:“应该不会吧。” Mother Li said: „I don't know either, is the heart somewhat lacks self-confidence, we also never had the submission to do the unmarried girl before, does not know that others Ziwei native place is what custom.” 李妈说:“我也不知道,就是心底有些没底,咱们之前也从来没认过干闺女,也不知道人家紫薇老家都是什么规矩。” Father Li said with a smile: „So long as the girls comply, we press in person each family that side custom, said again this matter girls also not necessarily dare to comply directly, most likely (80%) must discuss with the parents.” 李爸笑道:“只要人家姑娘答应,咱就按人家家里那边的规矩来,再说这事儿人家姑娘也未必敢直接答应,八成是要跟父母商量一下的。” Mother Li nods, said: „The Ziwei parents are also the good people, looks at the couple is the standard intellectual, probably is teachers?” 李妈点点头,说:“紫薇爸妈还都是挺好的人,一看两口子就是标准的知识分子,好像都是教师吧？” „Ziwei Mother is a teacher, has retired, the father is the official of their local Bureau of Education, but the people's teacher came long ago actually, afterward adjusted Education Committee to work, previous time met to listen to Ziwei her father saying that he must draw back probably.” “紫薇妈妈是教师,已经退休了,爸爸是他们当地教育局的官员,不过早些年倒是人民教师来的,后来调到教委工作,上次见面听紫薇她爸爸说起来,他好像也要退了。” When it was new year's time, Li Ziwei takes the Li Mu's personal assistant, has followed Li Mu, to also let her reunites with the family member, Li Mu will invite her parents to the Haizhou new year's celebration especially, Father Li Mother Li and Li Ziwei parents has several days later contact, will be very good to two people impressions, the impression to Li Ziwei will be good. 过年的时候,李紫薇作为李牧的贴身助理,一直跟着李牧,为了也让她跟家里人团圆,李牧特地邀请她的父母到海州过年,李爸李妈和李紫薇的爸妈有过几天的接触,对两人的印象很好,对李紫薇的印象更是不错。 The Li Ziwei birth intellectual family, before the parents were Great Cultural Revolution, long ago the last batch test into university university to live by the truly learned and genuinely talented, after graduating, two people doggedly sincere investment education, bustled about half a lifetime in the education community, the moral behavior and mental disposition, are the knowledge and style of speaking are good. 李紫薇出生知识分子家庭,父母都是早些年文革前最后一批靠真才实学考上大学的大学生,毕业之后两人都一腔热血投入教育行业,在教育领域忙碌了半辈子,两人无论是人品、秉性,还是学识以及谈吐都非常好。 Mother Li said with a smile: „If the Ziwei parents also comply, our two six people find a time to eat meal together, person who later we have the unmarried girl.” 李妈笑道:“要是紫薇的父母也答应,咱们两家六口人找个时间一起吃顿饭,以后咱也是有闺女的人了。” „Happen to also surnamed Li, with biological unmarried girl same......” “正好还都姓李,跟亲闺女一样……” Mother Li nods: „Yes, is the people of your Old Li.” 李妈点点头:“是啊,都是你们老李家的人。” Father Li nods smiles, said: „Before without son, you have a dream want an unmarried girl, must really be an unmarried girl, feared that is difficult today our son achievement!” 李爸点头一笑,说:“没有儿子之前,你做梦都想要个闺女,要真是个闺女,怕是难有今天咱儿子这份成就啊！” Mother Li shook the head saying: „If Little Mu is really an unmarried girl, I may not hate her to fight, university graduates goes home to test an official, has a stable work, gets married not to marry, this can also accompany us.” 李妈摇摇头说:“要是小牧真是个闺女,我可舍不得她这么打拼,大学毕业就回家考个公务员,有个稳定的工作,嫁人也别远嫁,这样还能多陪陪咱们。” Then, Mother Li also said: „You look at the present, your son university has not graduated, day in day out the world runs, how many years waits I to fear that again is how many one year does not see his, the achievement is big, aren't our family of three is very difficult to reunite? The achievement does to the bystander looked that the day of long supporting each other is the whole family is happiest.” 说完,李妈又道:“你看现在,你儿子大学还没毕业,一天到晚满世界跑,再等几年我怕是一年都见不上他几回,成就再大,咱们一家三口不还是很难团聚吗？成就都是做给外人看的,长相守的日子才是一家人最幸福的。” „You said right.” Father Li nods, sighed: „In the future, said that anything must urge the son to take several children!” “你说得对。”李爸点点头,感叹道:“将来啊,说什么都得劝儿子多要几个孩子！” ...... …… Li Mu has not told Li Ziwei, wants to recognize her to make daughter's wish about Mother, but oneself actually thought. 李牧没有告诉李紫薇,关于妈妈想认她做干女儿的意愿,但自己心里却想了一路。 previous life, Li Mu often listens to Mother to sigh, envies others to have the daughter, especially envies the daughter to defend in the side, even if got married, every day can still meet, after having the child, the parents can also every day help the belt/bring belt/bring child, the life of old couples also enrich. 上辈子,李牧常听妈妈感叹,羡慕别人有女儿的,尤其羡慕女儿守在身边的,就算是成家了,每天也都能见面,有了孩子之后,父母还能每天帮忙带带孩子,老两口的生活也充实。 Like her, the son outside, one year cannot go back year to year 32 times, moreover each time also on several days, in a hurry comes, walking in a hurry, when mother has not cherished enough, the son walked. 不像她,儿子常年在外,一年也就能回去三两次,而且每次也就几天的时间,匆匆的来,匆匆的走,当妈的还没稀罕够,儿子就又走了。 previous life life such order, Mother Li really has not been laborious mostly the lifetime, actually cannot defend to old son in the side, to her is really unavoidably moved. 上辈子的生活没这么顺序,李妈真可谓是辛苦了多半辈子,到老了儿子却不能守在身边,对她来说实在是难免伤感。 Li Mu always thought that has a deficit specially the parents, but suffers from the life and reality, oneself cannot perform to the duty that a good son to do, at that time, Li Mu, whenever heard that the Mother fever cold, feels like feels sorry specially, usually cannot accompany, has a headache and fever, has no way to go home to look, at that time Li Mu fantasized frequently, if oneself have an elder sister, or has a younger sister, can defend the parents at home, that this/should good. 李牧总觉得特别亏欠父母,可是苦于生活和现实,自己也没能尽到一个好儿子应尽的义务,那时候,李牧每当听说妈妈发烧感冒,心里就觉得特别过意不去,平时没能陪伴,有个头疼脑热的,也没法回家照顾,那时候李牧经常幻想,如果自己有个姐姐,或者有个妹妹,能在家守着爸妈,那该多好。 Because has known at heart Mother regretting at heart, Li Mu had not opposed she wants to recognize the matter that Li Ziwei becomes the daughter, on the contrary, in the heart deep place, supports to this matter especially, the only hope, is a parents sincerity treats Li Ziwei, can trade Li Ziwei from the feedback of sincerity, in that case, made up for the regret of Mother innermost feelings. 正因为心里一直知道妈妈心里的这层遗憾,李牧一点也没有反对她想认李紫薇当干女儿的事情,相反,在他内心深处,对这件事还格外支持,唯一的希望,是自己父母一颗真心对待李紫薇,也能换来李紫薇发自真心的反馈,那样的话,也算是弥补了妈妈内心的一个遗憾。 Two people return to Ziyun Mountain Villa, Father Li Mother Li still to bustle about in the kitchen, Li Ziwei arrives home to rush to go to the kitchen to help, stole the work of Father Li on own initiative, said that anything did not make him work again, in her words: „The matter of kitchen I am busy at work that's alright with the aunt together, the uncle you go to chat with Chief Li together.” 两人回到紫云山庄,李爸李妈还在厨房忙碌着,李紫薇一到家就赶忙去厨房帮忙,主动抢下了李爸的工作,说什么也不让他再干活,用她的话说:“厨房的事儿我跟阿姨一起忙活就行,叔叔您去跟李总一起聊聊天吧。” Mother Li said with a smile: „Your uncle estimated that has wanted to go out to smoke, his addiction for tobacco greatly.” 李妈笑道:“你叔叔估计早就想出去抽烟了,他烟瘾大着呢。” Li Ziwei said: „although stops smoking is very difficult, the uncle usually must little smoke a smoke as far as possible, I go back to ask the friend to bring the nicotine chewing gum to you, when the time comes you want to smoke chewed two, it can reduce intaking of smoke oil.” 李紫薇说:“虽然戒烟很困难,叔叔平时还是要尽量少抽点烟,我回去找朋友给您带点尼古丁口香糖,到时候您想抽烟了就嚼两颗,它能减少烟油的摄入。” Father Li curious asking: „ This type of thing? „ 李爸好奇的问道:“还有这种东西？“ Li Ziwei nods, said: „In the US (America) market sold for a long time, passed the fda authentication, was very safe, its principle dependency on the tobacco was actually same, you smoked the addiction, actually had the addiction to the nicotine, but did not have to the smoke tar, violating the addiction for tobacco is also the body needs to take in the nicotine, in the nicotine chewing gum increased the nicotine of natural extraction, but does not have any smoke tar, therefore was much healthier, after all in tobacco most harmful was in smoke tar various elements and heavy metals.” 李紫薇点点头,说:“美国市场上销售很长时间了,通过fda认证的,很安全,它的原理其实跟人对烟草的依赖是一样的,您抽烟有瘾,其实只是对尼古丁有瘾,但是对烟焦油没有,犯烟瘾了也是身体需要摄入尼古丁,尼古丁口香糖里添加了天然提取的尼古丁,但是没有任何烟焦油,所以要健康得多,毕竟烟草里面最有害的就是烟焦油里面的各种元素和重金属。” Saying, Li Ziwei was also saying: „Moreover that thing can reduce you level of dependency to the cigarette, with it, while reduced smoking quantity, after some time, perhaps can also swear off the smoke thoroughly.” 说着,李紫薇又道:“而且那个东西可以减少您对香烟的依赖程度,一边用它,一边减少抽烟量,一段时间之后没准还能把烟彻底戒掉。” Mother Li one hear, hastily said: „Listens is very credible! Old Li, turn head makes Ziwei buy to select you for you to try.” 李妈一听,急忙说道:“听着就很靠谱！老李,回头让紫薇给你买点你试试。” Father Li has not declined, to say with a smile: „If can the no-smoking of no pain, I surely not have the opinion, actually I also want to abstain, pulled out so many years, may be unable to swear off all of a sudden.” 李爸也没拒绝,笑道:“要是能无痛苦的戒烟,我是肯定没意见的,其实我也想戒,就是抽了这么多年,一下子可戒不掉。” Mother Li nods, says with a smile: „Ok, knows that your anything welldoing, wants to pull out pulls out one to the courtyard.” 李妈点点头,笑道:“行啦,知道你什么德行,想抽就到院子里抽一支吧。” Father Li said with a smile: „Good, you are busy at work, I am loaf.” 李爸笑道:“好嘞,那你们忙活着,我偷个懒。” Father Li comes out from the kitchen, Li Mu in the living room through the laptop examination mail, Father Li from the pocket is pulling out the smoke, said to Li Mu: „Son, walks, goes out to smoke.” 李爸从厨房出来的时候,李牧正在客厅通过笔记本电脑查看邮件,李爸从口袋里掏出烟来,对李牧说:“儿子,走,出去抽根烟。” Because knows that Li Mu smokes occasionally, Father Li will also lose smoke father and son to smoke to Li Mu sometimes together, but the Li Mu's addiction for tobacco almost does not have, therefore pulls out are much less than him. 因为知道李牧偶尔抽烟,李爸有时也会给李牧丢根烟爷俩一起喷云吐雾,只是李牧的烟瘾几乎没有,所以抽的比他少得多。 Li Mu puts down the computer, arrives in the courtyard with the father together, the Yanjing weather of April has started to warm up, father and son sits down on the villa courtyard wooden bench, Father Li extracts two smoke, gives Li Mu one, Li Mu has taken cigarette lighter from the father hand, first helps the father light the smoke, this lights oneself are holding in the mouth that. 李牧放下电脑,跟着老爸一起来到院子里,四月的燕京天气已经开始转暖,爷俩在别墅院子边的木制长椅上坐下,李爸抽出两只烟,递给李牧一支,李牧从爸爸手里拿过火机,先帮爸爸把烟点燃,这才又点燃自己叼着的那支。 Smoked two smoke, Father Li was pointing in the courtyard already a scrap vegetable plot that opened, said proudly: „Has a look, your father 30 years had not farmed, for the first time a also very nice child.” 抽了两口烟,李爸指着院子里已经开出来的一小块菜地,自豪的说:“看看,你老子三十年没种地了,乍一种还挺像个样子。” Several ridges of places that in the Li Mu helpless looks at courtyard open, said with a smile: „Arrived your age, growing vegetables has the sense of achievement specially?” 李牧无奈的看着院子里开出来的几垄地,笑道:“到您这个年纪,种菜是不是特别有成就感？” Father Li said with a smile: „Not only the sense of achievement, remembers past times, comfortableness.” 李爸笑道:“不只是成就感,还有怀旧,还有自在。” Saying, Father Li was also sighing: „In childhood farmed to be possible not to have such mood, in childhood liked being loaf, your paternal grandmother took the stick to compel under me to work, at that time except for going to school, does the farm work, therefore never thought that the farm was enjoyment, every day in the brain thought was if certainly wants the means to get rid of the yellow earth, therefore the high school graduated under the class that caught up with follow closely your grandfather the ore to go, but this may on your uncle, I go against the work of your grandfather painstakingly, he studies and does not read, on can only farm in the native place, sometimes thinks that always thought did not do right by him.” 说着,李爸又感叹:“小时候种地可没这么心情,小时候爱偷懒,你奶奶就拿棍子逼着我下地干活,那时候除了上学,就是干农活,所以从来不觉得种地是一种享受,每天脑子里想的都是一定要想办法摆脱黄土地,所以高中毕业就赶紧接你爷爷的班下矿去了,不过这可就苦了你叔,我把你爷爷的工作顶了,他读书又读不会,就只能在老家种地,有时候想想啊,总觉得对不住他。” Li Mu nods, said: „So many years you have also done everything possible is lending a hand my uncle, now his day has had well, moreover later will be better.” 李牧点点头,说:“不过这么多年您也一直想方设法的帮衬着我叔,现在他日子已经过得很好了,而且以后还会更好的。” Father Li shows a faint smile: „Yes, passes now is much better.” 李爸微微一笑:“是啊,现在过得好多了。” Speaking of here, Father Li also said: „Your uncle just got rid of the yellow earth, I leave the yellow earth 30 years, you make your uncle farm now, he feared that is 10,000 is not glad, but I, especially want to make little plot of land all sorts, waits for these hot pepper, eggplants and tomato long to come out, emerald green green clear and bright, looks at was happy. Waits again ten years eight years, I look for a like spring all year round with your mother the place, makes set of residents, rents paddies, usually except for planting point vegetables, but can also plant the point fruits and melons, will see your future son and unmarried girl, they will like eating anything, I will plant anything with your mother......” 说到这儿,李爸又道:“你叔刚摆脱黄土地,我是离开黄土地三十年,你现在让你叔种地,他怕是一万个不乐意,可我呢,就特别想弄个一亩三分地种种,等那些辣椒、茄子、西红柿长出来,翠绿绿水盈盈的,看着就高兴。再等个十年八年的,我就跟你妈去找个四季如春的地方,弄套民宅,租点田地,平时除了种点蔬菜,还可以种点瓜果,看你将来的儿子和闺女,他们喜欢吃什么,我跟你妈就种什么……” Li Mu gushes out a thought suddenly, said: „Father, or I buy the block place northern suburbs of Yanjing for you, finds a being situated at the foot of a hill and beside a stream good place, buys the block place to construct a set of villa, opens several mu place to come out again, makes an orchard, makes a greenhouse, makes a greenhouse, later can also receive grandparent!” 李牧忽然涌出一个念头,说:“爸,要不我在燕京北郊给您买块地吧,找个依山傍水的好地方,买块地建套别墅,再开几亩地出来,弄个果园,弄个温室,弄个花房,以后可以把爷爷奶奶也接过来！”
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