MGILA :: Volume #3

#278: Minimum 1 billion

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9 : 00 pm, conventional renewal 晚上 9 点,常规更新 ----- ----- The robbers almost go wild immediately! 劫匪们顿时差点抓狂！ orchid Zijiang also sweat. 兰子酱也不禁大汗。 Is the robber of head is good long while smooth comes pantingly, to cell phone difficult said/tunnel: „That we stress small three, is long quite delicately, gentle, seems like a university student, like this said, you always know was which?” 为首的劫匪好半天才顺过气来,对着手机艰难地道:“我们抓的这个小三,长得比较清秀,文静,看起来像个大学生,这样说,你总知道是哪一个了吧？” Chen Huan regrettable said/tunnel: „Aiyu, my small three all are this type, I like playing the delicate gentle female university student.” 陈焕遗憾地道:“哎呦,我的小三全是这种类型啊,我就喜欢玩清秀文静的女大学生。” Robbers: „......” 劫匪:“……” Was the robber of head got angry finally, put toward orchid Zijiang the hand in the cell phone: „You come, who telling your man you are.” 为首的劫匪终于怒了,把手机往兰子酱手里一放:“你来,告诉你男人你是谁。” orchid Zijiang not only speechless, and funny, but must repress laughter intent, to telephone say/way: „Hey, dear, is I!” 兰子酱既无语,又好笑,但还要强忍着笑意,对着电话道:“喂,亲爱的,是我啊！” „You who?” Chen Huandao. “你谁啊？”陈焕道。 „My sound couldn't you listen?” orchid Zijiang said: „Xiaolan who you most love.” “我的声音你都听不出来了吗？”兰子酱道:“你最爱的小兰啊。” „Xiaolan?” Chen Huan pretended to think was very long, thought with great difficulty: „, Is you, aiyu, more than one year have not gone to look at you, almost gave to forget you. You know, my business is busy, the woman are also many, cannot attend to you, but should not be short to your money every month, do not steal the man at the back of me.” “小兰？”陈焕假装想了很久,好不容易想起来似的:“哦,原来是你啊,哎呦,一年多没去看你了,差点把你给忘了。你知道,我生意忙,女人又多,顾不上你,但是每个月该给你的钱都没少过,你可别背着我偷男人哦。” Nearby robbers immediately sweat, this what rare and beautiful flowers man? Raised small three more than one year not to come to see her unexpectedly, actually did you raise her to come to make what? If the small three this type of thing does not need to rest, that did not have the value. 旁边的劫匪们顿时大汗,这什么奇葩男人？养了个小三居然一年多没来看她了,你养她来究竟是做啥的？小三这种东西如果不用来睡,那就毫无价值了吧。 orchid Zijiang is also wanted to smile by the lines air/Qi that Chen Huan talks irresponsibly temporarily, is suppressing the happy expression, is putting on a serious face saying: „Saves me quickly, I was kidnapped by the bastard, they want you to take the ransom money to save me.” 兰子酱也被陈焕临时瞎掰出来的台词气得想笑,强忍着笑意,板着脸道:“快来救我啊,我被坏蛋绑架了,他们要你拿赎金来救我。” Chen Huanda punctures the said/tunnel: „How many ransom money wants?” 陈焕大刺刺地道:“要多少赎金？” The robbers snatches the telephone, cold -ly snorted and said: „We only wanted you 10 million, but this woman said that her value 100 million.” 劫匪一把抢回电话,冷哼道:“我们本来只想要你一千万,但是这个女人说,她值一亿。” „She talked irresponsibly!” Chen Huan did not have be forgiving interrupted the words of robber: „You think carefully, my he meow the woman burns many, are many even has no free time to look at her, are 100 million this type of numbers possible? If you must open this price, troubled you to help me give to kill her.” “她瞎掰的！”陈焕毫无留情地打断了劫匪的话:“你们仔细想想,我他喵的女人辣么多,多得甚至都没空去看她,一亿这种数字怎么可能？如果你们一定要开这个价的话,麻烦你们帮我把她给杀了。” Robbers sweat! 劫匪们大汗！ Good, thinks carefully, he probably said is reasonable, this woman does not seem in good graces in his there. The robber chief thinks awkwardly several seconds, were planning 5 million, hear the Chen Huan serious said/tunnel suddenly: „My woman, even if no time to look that is also not possible only the value 100 million, can only the value 100 million that type of trash enter my discernment? Is lower than 1 billion not to want him meow to call me! Wastes my precious time.” 好吧,仔细一想,他说得好像有道理,这女人似乎在他那里不太得宠啊。劫匪头子尴尬地想了几秒,正打算来个五百万,突然听到陈焕一本正经地道:“我的女人,哪怕是没时间去看的,也绝不可能只值一亿,只值一亿那种垃圾能入我的法眼吗？低于十亿不要他喵的给我打电话！浪费我宝贵的时间。” „Honk......” “嘟……” The telephone was hung up. 电话被挂断了。 A scoundrels face compels ignorant. 歹徒们一脸懵逼。 even/including Lanzi sauce perspiration, hey, acts in a play to turn over to act in a play, what do you make their telephone call to make? If by some chance these scoundrels do become angry out of shame to kill me to swell the office? 连兰子酱都汗了一把,喂,演戏归演戏,你挂他们电话做啥？万一这些歹徒恼羞成怒要杀我肿么办？ A scoundrel sees their eldest children, the perspiration said: „Do this goods make our telephone calls unexpectedly? Good major suit! Big brother, now swells the office?” 一名歹徒看着他们的老大,汗道:“这货居然挂我们的电话？好大牌！大哥,现在肿么办？” „Also can swell the office? Calls him again.” Robber eldest child's skull being swollen half, the awkward incomparable place pulled out the button again. “还能肿么办？再给他打呗。”劫匪老大的脑壳都肿了一半,尴尬无比地点了重拔按钮。 Chen Huan meets again: „What can say? Is lower than 1 billion......” 陈焕再度接起:“又要说什么？低于十亿就……” „Slow! Do not hang!” The robber eldest child hurries saying: „We accept your request, 1 billion 1 billion!” “慢着！别挂！”劫匪老大赶紧道:“我们答应你的要求,十亿就十亿！” Spoke these words, he felt not a little right, well? How to sound like him to ask me to want the ransom money, I answered with great difficulty deal with 1 billion to be the same, should be in turn obviously? How can like this? 说完这句话,他才感觉有点不对,咦？怎么听起来就像他在找我要赎金,我好不容易才答应付十亿一样,明明应该是反过来的啊？怎么会这样呢？ „This was right.” Chen Huan then said with a smile: „I sorest Xiaolan, how likely is lower than 1 billion this numbers, this offers me to be very satisfactory.” “这就对了嘛。”陈焕这才笑道:“我最疼的小兰,怎么可能低于十亿这个数,这个报价我很满意。” You are sorest she, the robbers thought: You almost cannot think that who a moment ago she was. 你最疼她个屁,劫匪们心想:你刚才都差点想不起来她是谁了。 „Then the issue came.” Chen Huan serious said/tunnel: „How can 1 billion cash give you? Do not blame the trash that I have not reminded your not to see the world, 1 billion cash are more, how many small gunnysacks do not presumptuously think with be able to install, at least also a cargo train can transport, I must the friendship ask that your, you have driver's license that drives the cargo train? When the time comes I not putting on the car(riage) of money give you, you actually cannot drive away.” “接下来问题来了。”陈焕一本正经地道:“十亿现金要怎么交给你们呢？不要怪我没提醒你们这些没见过世面的渣渣,十亿的现金很多很多哦,别妄想用几个小麻袋就能装走,起码也得一辆大货车才运得动,我必须友情问你们一句,你们有驾驶大货车的驾驶执照吗？别到时候我把装钱的车交给你们,你们却开不走。” „!” A robber called out pitifully: „It is not good, I only then the C photo, can only drive the sedan car.” “啊啊啊！”一名劫匪惨叫道:“不好,我只有C照,只能开小轿车。” „I...... I have the C photo.” “我……我也只有C照。” The robbers started. 劫匪们开始慌了。 After five seconds, the robber chief yelled suddenly: „One crowd of mental handicap of mother! We are the robbers, is the bastard, we kidnap to extort this misdemeanor to do, what does the driving without license have undoable? You give me to be much stupider!” 五秒之后,劫匪头子突然大叫道:“妈的一群智障！我们是劫匪,是坏蛋,我们连绑架勒索这种坏事都做得出来,无照驾驶又有什么不能做的？你们给我蠢得适度一点！” The robbers are silent immediately...... 劫匪们顿时静默…… Nearby orchid Zijiang has soon smiled to cry, this group of stupid thieves, played with by Chen Huan in the stock palms simply, since Chen Huan dares to play jokes upon his, he affirmed that could have been saved my means that where will otherwise have such good mood and robber says these? Thinks of here, in orchid Zijiang heart calm. 旁边的兰子酱已经快要笑得哭出来了,这群蠢贼,简直被陈焕玩弄于股掌之间,陈焕既然敢这么戏耍他那,那他肯定已经有救我的办法了吧,不然哪会有这么好的心情和劫匪说这些？想到这里,兰子酱心中大定。 The robber chief becomes angry out of shame, is roaring to the telephone: „Are you playing us? Actually to plan to pay the ransom money? I reminded you! Dares to play any trick, I make your small three die without the burial ground.” 劫匪头子恼羞成怒,对着电话咆哮道:“你在耍我们吧？究竟有没有打算付赎金？我提醒你！敢耍任何花样,我让你的小三死无葬身之地。” „Good, I acknowledged honestly, I am playing you.” Chen Huan grinning said/tunnel: „I treat unkindly unkindly, does not have the tears bloodless, to resting the woman pulls out the skirt to be brutal, I do not want to spend to redeem her. A your knife handle she killed, but can also to our province some troublesome, so as to avoid I must every month to her living expenses, but must rent the villa to live to her, waste. Asked you, started cleanly, after the murder, best dismember to abandon the wilderness, readily do not let the police find her corpse, so as to avoid the police checked me and her relations, but must come to ask me to record the oral confession, delayed my time not saying that was known by my wife, gave back to me to annoy a show, good, matter this, wish you to kill people happily, bye.” “好吧,我老实承认,我就是在耍你们。”陈焕笑嘻嘻地道:“我这个人刻薄寡恩,无血无泪,对睡过的女人拔屌无情,我才不想花钱来赎回她。你们一刀把她杀了,还能给我省了些麻烦,免得我每个月还要给她一笔生活费,还要租别墅给她住,多浪费啊。拜托你们,下手干净点,杀人之后最好分尸弃之荒野,别轻易让警察找到她的尸体,免得警察查到我和她的关系,还要上门来找我录口供,耽搁我的时间不说,被我老婆知道了,还给我惹出一身骚,好吧,事情就这样啦,祝你们杀人愉快,再见。” „Honk......” “嘟……” The telephone was hung up. 电话又被挂断了。 „!” The robber chief is angry, „bumping” fell the cell phone on the ground. “啊啊啊啊！”劫匪头子大怒,“碰”地一声把手机摔在了地上。 Another four robber sweats: „Big brother, we now what to do?” 另外四名劫匪不禁大汗:“大哥,咱们现在怎么办？” „What to do can also?” The robber chief gets angry: „Was looked down upon like this, cannot do without the point expressing. Snort! I must retaliate! We come to suspend 18 appearances this woman, wears a green hat to consider as finished to that disgusting fellow.” “还能怎么办？”劫匪头子怒道:“被人这样看不起了,不能没点表示。哼！我要报复！咱们来把把这女人摆成十八般模样,给那个恶心的家伙戴个绿帽子算了。” „Hey, Big brother, does not reach an agreement does not plunder the color, only seizes property?” Another four person sweats. “喂喂,大哥,不是说好不劫色,只劫财的吗？”另外四个人大汗。 „Currently he meow where also has the wealth tribulation? Also can only tribulation a color.” The robber eldest child arrived in front of orchid Zijiang angrily, said with a smile ferociously: „Do not blame us being cruel and merciless, is your family man evil, must blame to blame him.” “现在他喵的哪里还有财可劫？也只能劫个色了。”劫匪老大怒气冲冲地走到了兰子酱面前,狞笑道:“不要怪我们心狠手辣,是你家男人害的,要怪就去怪他吧。” orchid Zijiang shakes the head: „Fool, was played has not known! If I have not guessed that wrong, you must have bad luck immediately.” 兰子酱不禁摇了摇头:“笨蛋,被人耍了还不知道！如果我没猜错的话,你们马上就要倒霉了。” „Joke! How we are possible......” robber chief words not to speak, suddenly felt that a forehead pain, some people jumped down from the tree, stand in his top of the head. “笑话！我们怎么可能……”劫匪头子一话还没说话,突然感觉到脑门一痛,原来有人从树上跳了下来,站在了他的头顶上。 Author message: 作者留言: PS: Has not complained and in the day of commentary, I request the monthly ticket! Did not have me of monthly ticket soon dead. PS:没有吐槽和评论的日子里,我还是要求月票啊！没有月票的我已经快要死了。
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