„She had not said, as if there is anticipation to that man, but actually she does not have the confidence. Do not blame your older sister, she hard, continuously painstakingly, from infancy to maturity, less than several days auspicious day.” “她没说,似乎对那个男人抱有期待,但其实她自己都没有信心。你别怪你姐,她心里够苦的了,一直苦,从小到大,就没过几天好日子。” next day, Xu Yao looks for Xu Lan, she said. 第二天,许耀来找许岚,她是这么说的。 However he cannot forgive elder sister at that time completely, what he is more is hates, hate of expecting too much. 然而他当时并不能完全体谅姐姐,他更多的是恨,恨铁不成钢的恨。 elder sister's this life destroyed. 姐姐的这一生就毁了啊。 At noon, Song Zhongli carries two fish to knock the front gate, he stands in the courtyard, toward supporting big belly Xu Ru was saying: „A'Rong, him lets the fish that I touch, said that builds up one's health to you.” 中午,宋中继拎着两尾鱼敲开院门,他站在院子里,朝挺着大肚子的许茹说:“阿荣在吗,他让我摸的鱼,说是给你补补身子。” „Thanks, he and A'Guang went out.” Xu Ru said. “谢谢,他和阿光出去了。”许茹说。 „Thanked what/anything to thank, 50 cents.” Song Zhongli grins to smile. “谢什么谢,五毛钱。”宋中继咧嘴笑。 „.......” Xu Ru gawked staring, the nod: „I draw cash to you.” “.......”许茹愣了愣,点头:“我给你拿钱。” „No, you are not convenient, I and other A'Rong came back to ask again he wants.” “别,你不方便,我等阿荣回来再问他要。” Saying, Song Zhongli selfish scooped up basin water in the basin, raises the half-dead fish. 说着,宋中继自顾自的在盆里舀了一盆水,把半死不活的鱼养进去。 This man idles about, does not like working, catches a fish by hand to grasp bird Jungler position actually adept ruthless, he does not only have „commentary” Xu Ru, probably is in itself rotten person one, no qualifications said others. Perhaps has no interest in wagging the tongue, or he instigated, feared Xu Yao punches him. 这个男人游手好闲,不爱下地干活,摸鱼抓鸟打野位倒是拿手的狠,他也是唯一没有“评论”许茹的,大概本身就是烂人一个,没资格说人家。也许是没兴趣去嚼舌头,又或者他本来就怂,怕许耀揍他。 The day of being in labor came quickly. 临盆的日子很快来了。 Mr. Xu Ru, has not gone to the county hospital, that little while does not have in the condition the hospital, the rural area to live in village medicine there generally, will be better than barefoot doctor, studies several years later the medicine, but the level will be very definitely bad, otherwise not in rural area, but entered the hospital. 许茹先生的,没去县城医院,那会儿没条件上医院,农村一般都在村医那里生的,比赤脚医生稍好,学过几年医,但水平肯定很差,不然也不会在农村,而是进医院了。 Xu Family Town is too poor, without the clinic, the next door town/subdues has a clinic. 许家镇太穷,没有卫生所,隔壁镇有一个卫生所。 Broke from noon amniotic fluid, starts the labor pain, to 10 : 00 pm, the child was born. 从中午羊水破了,开始阵痛,一直到晚上 10 点,孩子出生。 Boys. 男孩。 Settling down. 尘埃落定。 In the life first time worked as mother, Xu Ru discarded all worries, was only left over mother's affection. 人生中第一次当母亲,许茹把所有的烦恼都抛掉了,只剩下母亲的慈爱。 Xu Yao felt oneself should loathe this child, but when he sees the delicate pink child to rest in the swaddling clothes, but also is unable to open to look at the world, is grasping the small fist, peaceful deep sleep. 许耀觉得自己本该厌恶这个孩子的,可当他看见嫩红嫩红的孩子睡在襁褓里,还无法睁开看世界,握着小拳头,安静的沉睡。 He was suddenly tenderhearted. 他忽然心软了。 As a result of the issue of malnutrition, the child was born to only have 2.4 kilograms, medium is small. 由于营养不良的问题,小孩出生只有2.4公斤,中等偏小。 „Baby is lovable, gave the name to him?” “小娃娃多可爱,给他取名字了吗？” Supports big belly Xu Lan to look in the , whole face happy expression. 挺着大肚子的许岚在边上看着,满脸笑意。 Xu Ru shakes the head, helplessly said: „A'Rong is not willing to help take, he has the thorn.” 许茹摇摇头,无奈道:“阿荣不肯帮忙取,他心里还是有刺儿的。” Xu Lan is angry saying: „Do not manage him, here prepared several names, you have a look, or chooses one?” 许岚嗔道:“别理他,我这里准备了几个名字,你看看要不选一个？” „What name?” “什么名字？” „Qin Hao, Qin Xiaofan (small and ordinary)...... you select one, changed to permits to be good the surname.” Xu Lan said full of enthusiasm: „Xu Xiaofan is not quite of pleasant to hear, might as well call Xu Hao.” “秦昊,秦小凡......你挑一个,把姓改成许就好了。”许岚兴致勃勃道:“许小凡不太好听,不如叫许昊。” Xu Ru nods, says with a smile: „Good.” 许茹点点头,笑道:“好。” „Right, I brought the powdered milk to come, you are first using, lived the Baobao's time, I had/left the milk is quite many, should not lack.” Xu Lan said. “对了,我带了奶粉过来,你先用着,生宝宝的时候,我出奶比较多,应该不缺的。”许岚道。 As a result of Xu Ru fierce of body debt, the long-term malnutrition, causes no breast milk. Relates to son's grain ration, she has not rejected eventually again. 由于许茹的身子骨亏空的厉害,长期营养不良,导致没什么奶水。关系到儿子的口粮,她终究没再拒绝。 Since childhood very difficult issue is placed at present, elder sister and younger brother that is bound by a common destiny a very much realistically two, now is still bound by a common destiny, but also were many a small life. 一个很现实很严峻的问题摆在眼前,从小相依为命的姐弟俩,现在仍然相依为命,还多了一个小生命。 In lifts up the summer beam in independently the elder sister post-natal weak situation, the life appears is difficult to sustain. 在独立扛起大梁的姐姐产后虚弱的情况下,生活显得难以为继。 Raising the child is not easy, afterward counted, surpassed 40 million in the baby of 90s die young. 养小孩并不容易,后来统计,在九十年代夭折的幼儿超过四千万。 That night, Xu Ru sees the child, silent. 当天晚上,许茹看着孩子,默然无语。 next morning, shouted the room Xu Yao alone, asked him: „You think of university.” 第二天早上,独自把许耀喊到房间,问他:“你想念大学吗。” Xu Yao is speechless, his vision falls on the baby face. 许耀无言,他目光落在婴儿脸上。 The young baby in the sleep, the small physique trembles suddenly, yīng yīng yīng that the fragile mosquito recited several. 小婴儿在睡梦中,突然小身板一颤,细弱蚊吟的嘤嘤嘤了几下。 Xu Ru is busy at comforting the child. 许茹忙安抚孩子。 „Does not need scruples him, you said, thinks.” Xu Ru said. “不用顾忌他,你说,想不想。”许茹说。 „Thinks!” Xu Yao said. “想！”许耀道。 He thinks, unprecedented thinking. 他想,前所未有的想。 Studying to change the destiny, can redeem the dignity. 读书能改变命运,也能挽回尊严。 He longs for becoming outstanding, longs for arising from the poverty, longs for dignity that retrieves elder sister to lose. 他渴望出人头地,渴望脱离贫困,更渴望找回姐姐失去的尊严。 Xu Ru nods. 许茹点点头。 This after several days, some day evening, Xu Ru was awakened by the urgent knock suddenly, baby wā wā cries. 就这样过了几天,某日晚,许茹突然被急迫的敲门声惊醒,婴儿哇哇大哭。 „A'Rong, Sister Ru,” Xu Guang has the sound of weeping voice: „My elder sister threw down.” “阿荣,茹姐,”许光带着哭腔的声音:“我姐摔倒了。” Knocking at the door sound of making an effort. 使劲的拍门声。 The Xu Ru startled sitting up sound, sleepiness all disappears, does not need she to shout the person, Xu Yao of next door room has rushed to the courtyard, opens the door, the entrance is standing whole face anxious Xu Guang. 许茹惊的坐起声,困意全消,不待她喊人,隔壁房的许耀已经冲到院子里,开门,门口站着满脸惶急的许光。 „What's the matter.” “怎么回事。” „My elder sister went to bathroom to slip into the evening, she, she all was the blood .....” “我姐晚上上厕所滑到了,她,她全是血.....” Xu Ru heard, is pale, cannot attend to the comforting child, called out: „A'Rong, A'Rong .....” 许茹听到了,脸色苍白,顾不上安抚孩子,叫道:“阿荣,阿荣.....” No one replied her, Xu Yao brings Xu Guang to rush to the main house gate. 没人回答她,许耀已经带着许光奔出家门了。 ....... ....... Xu Ru that next day 5 : 00 am, the day dawn, has not rested waited till younger brother to come back finally. 第二天凌晨 5 点,天蒙蒙亮,一宿没睡的许茹终于等到了弟弟回来。 „We led her to go to the clinic, Little Lan is unconscious at that time, the basic having no way easy childbirth, that side said does not have the means that the embryo is possibly injured, making us take to the hospital, the tire of clinic we go to the county, the hospital made the Caesarean birth to her, the child just came out was to live, but cannot very two hours, the doctor come back incurably, went to ........” the Xu Yao eyes to cover entirely the blood threads. “我们带她去了卫生所,小岚当时已经神志不清,根本没法顺产,那边说没办法,胎儿可能受了伤,让我们送医院,卫生所的车带我们去了县城,医院给她做了剖腹产,孩子刚出来的时候是活的,但没能挺过两小时,医生没救回来,去了........”许耀双眼布满血丝。 „Little Lan?” Xu Ru cries to say. “小岚呢？”许茹哭道。 „She has not awaked, A'Guang in the hospital, squats outside the hospital ward is crying.” Xu Yao is covering the face, the trembling sound said: „A very well child, suddenly went away.” “她还没醒,阿光在医院,蹲在病房外哭着。”许耀捂着脸,颤声道:“好好的一个孩子,说没就没了。” After long time, Xu Ru said: „A'Rong, we go to the county, now.” 半晌后,许茹道:“阿荣,我们去县城,现在。” Arrived the hospital was 6 : 00 am, the hospital no one, in the air filled the decontaminating solution flavor, on the bench of corridor can see a fragmentary 1~2 patient, is hanging the intravenous drip. 到医院是早上 6 点了,医院没什么人,空气中弥漫着消毒水的味道,走廊的长椅上能看见零星的一两个病人,挂着点滴。 The nurse whole face of being on night duty is exhausted. 值夜班的护士满脸疲惫。 In the small hospital ward, Xu Ru saw Xu Lan, she had awaked, opens the eye to look at the ceiling, like artificial flower that has not been angry. 在小小的病房里,许茹看见了许岚,她已经醒了,睁大眼睛看着天花板,像一朵没有生气的纸花。 Xu Guang is red the eye, sits near the hospital bed. 许光红着眼睛,坐在病床边。 „A'Rong, A'Guang, you go out, I had the words to say to Little Lan.” Xu Ru said, her arms are hugging the child. “阿荣,阿光,你们出去一下,我有话对小岚说。”许茹道,她怀里抱着孩子。 After two people leave, she sits in the bedside, said in a low voice: „Child did not have.” 等两人离开后,她坐在床边,低声道:“孩子没了。” A few words, as if awakened Xu Lan of desperate edge, her unemotional face, the eyelash trembled trembling, subsequently cries, dying by heartbreak of crying, a mother who lost the child. 一句话,仿佛把绝望边缘的许岚惊醒了,她面无表情的脸,睫毛颤了颤,继而哭起来,哭的伤心欲绝,一个失去了孩子的母亲。 „does not have any ridge was.” Xu Ru said: „So many years, depended entirely on these words, the elder sister can support now. Each time desperate time, I think A'Rong, was at heart hopeful. You have Baobao (darling), you cannot collapse.” “没有什么坎是过不了的。”许茹说:“这么多年了,全靠这句话,姐才能撑到现在。每次绝望的时候,我就会想想阿荣,心里就又有希望了。你还有宝宝啊,你不能崩溃的。” „A'Guang said that is a son.” Xu Lan said in a soft voice. “阿光说是个儿子。”许岚轻声说。 Her expression has a strange silence. 她表情有一种诡异的寂静。 „My first viviparity Baobao (darling), was a girl, although he has not said what/anything, but I know that he wanted a son.” “我第一胎生了宝宝,是个女孩,他虽然没说什么,可我知道他想要个儿子。” „I think, since married Qin Family, should live to be passed from generation to generation for him.” “我就想,既然嫁到了秦家,就应该为他生个能传宗接代的。” „Child did not have, now checks such strict ....... my father does not want me to regenerate, I and parents quarrel. His such person, did not have this child, even if wants the son again, will not make me regenerate.” “孩子没了,现在查的这么严.......我爸不愿意我再生的,我和爸妈吵了一架。他那样的一个人,没了这个孩子,就算再想要儿子,也不会让我再生了。” „A'Guang said that is a son...... he has wanted a son very much ..... I cannot lose this child, I cannot lose his ..... wū wū wū, my child.” “阿光说是个儿子......他一直很想要个儿子的.....我不能失去这个孩子,我不能失去他的.....呜呜呜,我的孩子。” At first can speak steadily, gradually was agitated, the whole body that Xu Lan cried twitched, the speech spoke incoherently. 起先能平稳的说话,渐渐的情绪激动,许岚哭的浑身抽搐,说话语无伦次。 Xu Ru places side the baby in bosom her, solemnly said: „Later, he is your son.” 许茹把怀中的婴儿放在她身边,沉声道:“以后,他就是你儿子。” The sound that she spoke was very light, the expression on her face was very complex, did not abandon and pain is being complicated. 她说话的声音很轻,她脸上的表情很复杂,不舍和痛苦交缠着。 Xu Lan stopped crying, saying a word looked at her. 许岚止了哭,一言不发的看她。 „He is your son.” Xu Ru repeats. “他就是你儿子。”许茹重复一遍。 „Are you comforting me?” “你是在安慰我吗？” „No, I am earnest.” Xu Ru said. “不,我是认真的。”许茹道。 „Why?” “为什么？” „A'Rong said that he thinks of university, I do not have the ability to study for him, does not have the ability to foster this child. On Xu Ru smiles mournfully: „ Child and A'Rong are my burden, I am unable to undertake their destiny simultaneously, I must discard one.” “阿荣说他想念大学,我没能力供他读书,更没能力抚养这个孩子。就我这样一个名声狼藉的女人,我能嫁给谁？”许茹凄然一笑:“孩子和阿荣是我的负担,我无法同时承担起他们两人的命运,我必须要舍弃一个。” Xu Ru is shivering the fingertip, has caressed child's cheeks: „Perhaps in your eyes, the birth of this child was a mistake, then between both, I chose A'Rong. My mistake, I undertake, the future all pain, all lamentation, will be undertaken by me alone. At least I also to my parents.” 许茹颤抖着指尖,抚过孩子的脸颊:“也许在你们眼里,这个孩子的出生是一个错误,那么两者之间,我选择阿荣。我的错误,我来承担,今后的一切痛苦,一切悔恨,由我独自承担。至少我还对的起我父母。” „You said right, the child cannot do without the father, Little Lan, you can give him a better family, better growth environment. He can freely grow, can not need to be worried to grow up in the future is scolded the bastard.” “你说得对,孩子不能没有父亲,小岚,你可以给他一个更好的家庭,更好的成长环境。他可以无忧无虑的成长,可以不用担心将来长大被人骂野种。” „Your husband wants a son, when it can be imagined he knows this sad news, sad. You also feared that because of this matter, will become among your couples the heart to group.” “你丈夫想要个儿子,可想而知当他得知这个噩耗,会有多伤心。你也怕因为这件事,会成为你们夫妻间心结对吗。” Xu Ru has tears streaming down the face: „Little Lan, considers us to save mutually.” 许茹泪流满面:“小岚,就当是我们相互拯救吧。” Xu Lan puts out a hand, wants to stroke the child, but in that moment of touching, received an electric shock retracted the hand. 许岚伸手,想抚摸孩子,但又在触及的那一刻,触电般的缩回了手。 She gawked the long time, „Sister Ru, starting today, this child is my, are not related with your family again. I will foster him to grow up, give him the best environment, him, when the biological son raises. You and A'Rong, cannot renege on a promise in the future.” 她愣了半晌,“茹姐,从今天开始,这个孩子是我的,和你们家再也没有关系。我会抚养他长大,给他最好的环境,把他当亲儿子养。你和阿荣,将来不能反悔。” „Good.” Xu Ru said. “好。”许茹道。 Said this character, her whole person broke down all of a sudden. 说出这个字,她整个人一下子垮了。 „What needs me to make for you?” “需要我为你做什么？” „....... He will grow up in the future, every year the summer vacation leads him to come Xu Family Town to have a look at me.” “.......将来他长大了,每年暑假带他来许家镇看看我。” „Good.” “好。” Out of the door, two youngster stand there. 门外,两个少年站在那里。 „Does your standing entrance do.” Puts on the doctor of white coat to get to the hospital ward entrance. “你们俩站门口干嘛。”穿白大褂的医生走到病房门口。 Both youngster have tears streaming down the face, the doctor least bit is not accidental/surprised. 两个少年都是泪流满面,医生半点不意外。 He pushed the door to go, sweeps a hospital ward, in the hand takes one pack of reports: „You were last night, last night doctor got off work, I was responsible for your hospital ward. Restrains grief, here registers, names.” 他推门进去,扫了一眼病房,手里拿着一叠报告单:“你是昨晚来的吧,昨晚的医生下班了,我负责你这个病房。节哀吧,我这里重新登记一下,叫什么名字。” Xu Lan opens mouth. 许岚张了张嘴。 Xu Ru said: „Xu Ru!” 许茹道:“许茹！” „Xu Ru.” The doctor brushed to record several, „the little while, I have made the nurse led you to check, after the miscarriage , the body probably pay attention, will otherwise have the old ailment.” “许茹是吧。”医生刷刷记了几笔,“过会儿,我让护士带你做检查,流产后身体要多注意,不然会落下病根。” ....... ....... Quick, has the rumor to spread in Xu Family Town. 很快,就有流言在许家镇传开。 The Xu Ru child died, that in the bastard of outside bosom, the life is thin. But comes Xu Family Town nourishing fetus Xu Lan, convalesced for a month in the hospital later, lived a boy. 许茹的孩子夭折了,那个在外面怀的野种,命薄。而来许家镇养胎的许岚,在医院里疗养了一个月后,生了个大胖小子。 Afterward Xu Ru got married, married that never „commentary” own man, a man who idled about to ignore a proper occupation. 后来许茹嫁人了,嫁给了那个从来没有“评论”过自己的男人,一个游手好闲不务正业的男人。 Woman who unmarried is first pregnant, a delicious lazy man. 一个未婚先孕的女人,一个好吃懒惰的男人。 It is not a match very much. 很般配不是吗。 time recalls many days ago, Xu Yao said oneself want to read university next day, Song Zhongli sends the fish once again. 时间回溯到很多天前,许耀说自己想读大学的第二天,宋中继又一次送来鱼。 „Did A'Rong make you deliver the fish?” Xu Ru said awkwardly: „Excuse me, in the family/home money are not many.” “阿荣又让你送鱼了？”许茹尴尬道:“不好意思,家里钱不多了。” Sitting idle and eating is so long, truly no money. 坐吃山空这么久,确实没什么钱了。 „Does not ask for money, fellow villagers, two fish.” Song Zhongli said: „You were not pregnant, must build up one's health ....... the good and evil we to know since childhood was not.” “不要钱,乡里乡亲的,就两条鱼而已。”宋中继道:“你不是怀孕了嘛,得补着身子.......好歹咱们从小认识不是。” Xu Ru gawked staring, hesitating, hesitant, „you currently have the object.” 许茹愣了愣,迟疑着,犹豫着,“你现在有对象了吗。” „Who is willing to marry me.” Song Zhongli scratches the head. “谁愿意嫁给我啊。”宋中继挠挠头。 „You have bride's price.” “那你有老婆本么。” Asked that this doing, is a little strange, Song Zhongli said: „Do not look that I like betting, no matter but loses wins, I deposit a money, saves is saving, bride's price had.” 问这个干嘛,有点奇怪,宋中继说:“你别看我喜欢赌,但不管是输是赢,我都存一点钱,存着存着,老婆本就有了。” „You are willing to marry me.” “那你愿意娶我么。” „I do not give the person to raise the son.” “我可不给人养儿子。” „You could rest assured that the child I will see somebody off.” “你放心,孩子我会送人的。” „Really?” “真的？” „But you must help me study for A'Rong.” “可你要帮我供阿荣读书。” ......... ......... To Xu Ru, gives to others with it, gives bosom friend that oneself grow up since childhood, is the best result. 对许茹来说,与其送给别人,送给自己从小长大的闺蜜,是最好的结局。 Song Zhongli also calculates the code of honor, the weak man has the weak advantage. 宋中继也算守信,软弱的男人有软弱的好处。 That day that Xu Lan walks, Xu Yao stood outside the small town, gazed after the public transportation to go far away. 许岚走的那天,许耀站在小镇外,目送着公交车远去。 He who never smokes, squats in the roadside, smoked entire one packet of smoke. 从来不抽烟的他,蹲在路边,抽了整整一包烟。 Afterward, Xu Yao read university fruitfully, becoming outstanding of achieving wishes. 后来,许耀如愿以偿的读了大学,如愿以偿的出人头地。 But he is in arrears elder sister's, this whole life could not pay off. 可他亏钱姐姐的,这辈子都还不清了。 His lamentation that morning, lamented innumerable oneself said: Thinks! 他无数次悔恨那个早上,悔恨自己说:想！ In the subsequent years, he few visits Xu Family Town, he married the princess in Wen Metro, settles down in Wen Metro. 此后的年月里,他鲜少踏足许家镇,他在温城娶了千金小姐,定居在温城。 The Xu Family Town people said that this hen flies the branch to turn into the golden phoenix, forgetting one's origin, actually he is the fear facing elder sister. 许家镇的人都说这只草鸡飞上枝头变成金凤凰,忘了本,其实他是害怕面对姐姐。 Facing elder sister the old face, he will remember that finding it unbearable to recall past events each time day after day. 每次面对姐姐日渐苍老的脸庞,他都会想起那段不堪回首的往事。 „On the day of she passed away, said with me many many words, said oneself have not disappointed the parents, said that I become outstanding finally. But I know that what she most wants to say is „ A'Ze” two characters. We to change the destiny my entire life try hard, but I am unable for a lifetime in the change in the past. ” “她去世那天,和我说了好多好多话,说自己没有让父母失望,说我终于出人头地。可我知道她最想说的是“阿泽”两个字。我们一生都在为了改变命运而努力,可我一辈子都无法在改变过去。” Xu Yao sits before the grave, expensive western-style clothes stained the dust. 许耀坐在坟前,一身昂贵的西服沾满了尘土。 „After elder sister dies, my whole life biggest obsession does not become outstanding, is some day leads you to come to here, is pointing at this tablet, said to you: She is your mother.” “姐姐死后,我这辈子最大的执念不是出人头地,是有朝一日带你来这里,指着这块碑,对你说:她才是你的亲生母亲。” „Before this is she dies , the strongest wish, she had not said that but I know. Because of me, makes your mother and child two separate the 20 many years, all are my mistake, my responsibility.” “这是她死前最大的心愿,她没说,但我知道。是因为我,才让你们母子两分开二十多年,一切都是我的错,我的责任。” This is his whole life biggest pain. 这是他这辈子最大的痛。 Therefore the resembles that he goes crazy lets Qin Ze „finding roots”, wants to make up for the past mistake. 所以他发了疯的像让秦泽“认祖归宗”,想弥补自己当年的过错。 To feel better by own conscience. 想让自己的良心好过一些。 „But we have complied with Little Lan, this whole life cannot mention this matter again. So long as she did not agree, I did not say on own initiative.” “可我们答应过小岚,这辈子都不能再提这件事。只要她不同意,我就不主动说。” Qin Ze astringent sound said: „In other words, my father ..... does not know this matter.” 秦泽涩声道:“就是说,我爸.....不知道这件事。” „This is unimportant.” Xu Yao said. “这个不重要。”许耀道。 „A'Ze, you may whatever happens do not probably tell your father the truth, in the past is hiding the truth from him, mistake that perhaps is your mother, but this matter, can only conceal the truth, time is longer, more cannot say.” Sound of Xu Guang nearly entreaty. “阿泽,你可千万不要把真相告诉你爸,当年瞒着他,或许是你妈的错,但这种事,只能一直瞒下去,时间越久,越不能说啊。”许光近乎哀求的声音。 This is very important, is important. 这个很重要,非常重要啊。 The Qin Ze heart said. 秦泽心说。 He has looked at the old gentleman's diary, has the points at heart, but he expected that old gentleman knows this matter, but matter rotten in belly, disguises oneself have a son. 他看过老爷子的日记,心里有点数,但他更奢望老爷子是知道这件事,但把事情烂在肚子里,假装自己有一个儿子。 You think that any man knows raised a 20 several years of son, is not own. 你想啊,任何男人知道养了二十几年的儿子,不是自己的。 The mentality must explode. 心态得爆炸啊。 When the time comes the situation will lose control, mother what to do? 到时候情况会失控,妈怎么办？ I and elder sister what to do? 我和姐姐怎么办？ „Sorry, I do not know that who your father is.” Xu Yao depressed say/way. “对不起,我并不知道你亲生父亲是谁。”许耀沮丧道。 „Doesn't matter, when he died.” The Qin Ze tone is light. “没关系,就当他死了吧。”秦泽语气平淡。 I only have a father, he called Qin Jianzhang. 我只有一个父亲,他叫秦建章。 „Zhilong......” “还有志龙......” „Has what relations with me.” Qin Ze breaks him: „I do not have older and younger brothers, only has elder sister. I can accept the past matter, confident facing own mother, can confident facing your uncle, but that is all, I have my life, I have my family member. Does not need to break the relation, but hopes that from now on do not disturb my life on own initiative, especially do not appear before my mother.” “跟我有什么关系。”秦泽打断他:“我没有兄弟,只有姐姐。我可以接受当年的事,坦然的面对自己的亲生母亲,也可以坦然的面对你这个舅舅,但仅此而已,我有我的生活,我有我的家人。没必要断了联系,但希望你今后不要主动打扰我的生活,尤其别在我妈面前出现。” Xu Yao nods. 许耀点点头。 Weeps bitterly, unties many years of heart knots, his whole person was more relaxed. 痛哭一场,解开多年的心结,他整个人轻松多了。 „Can you shout her a mother?” Xu Yao hopes to say. “你能喊她一声妈么？”许耀期盼道。 Qin Ze was shocked, he is staring at the tombstone. 秦泽愣住了,他凝视着墓碑。 Opens mouth, a very simple character, spits. 张了张嘴,很简单的一个字,却怎么也吐出来。 ....... ....... Leaves for the Shanghai High Speed Rail. 开往沪市的高铁。 Su Yu snuggles perceptually in the Qin Ze bosom, the woman always, after the birth mother of beloved person shed several jin (0.5 kg) tears, Su Yu becomes without saying a word, for a while has not gotten strength back. 苏钰依偎在秦泽怀里,女人总是感性的,为心爱人的生母流了几斤眼泪后,苏钰就变得蔫蔫的,一时没缓过劲来。 Qin Ze is instead calmer. 秦泽反而从容很多。 „Feels too indifferent?” The Qin Ze fingertip has dripped her beautiful hair. “是不是觉得太冷漠？”秦泽指尖淌过她的秀发。 Su Yu wants to shake the head, but nods finally. 苏钰想摇头,但最后又点头。 „Sad and may not display, the past matter, passed entirely, the left person will never come back again. You are unable to change anything.” Qin Ze sighed: „She , if also alive, I to her good, but, such that just like they agree, I only have a mother forever.” “悲伤并不一定要表现出去,过去的事,统统过去了,离开的人永远不会再回来。你无法改变任何东西。”秦泽叹道:“她如果还在世,我会对她好一点,但,正如她们约定的那样,我永远只有一个母亲。” Living the graciousness might as well raise the graciousness. 生恩不如养恩。 „You do not want to know that who the father is?” “你就不想知道亲生父亲是谁？” „You thought that I should look for him?” “你觉得我应该去找他吗？” Su Yu thinks, shakes the head, intertwines saying: „Should not look, but will unable to bear think.” 苏钰想了想,摇头,纠结道:“不该去找,可就是会忍不住去想吧。” „Thinks? If why wants, he perhaps also in that small county, mediocre is passing small half a lifetime, may sigh with emotion a past years to have an illegitimate child. But what relations has with me? The world is so big, I can also look inadequately.” “想？为什么要想,他或许还在那座小县城,庸庸碌碌的过着小半生,或许会感慨一声自己当年有个私生子。但和我有什么关系？世界这么大,我还能去找不成。” „Said, when he died.” “都说了,就当他死了吧。” Asks him to do, coming one to cry on each other's shoulders, does the flesh and blood recognize each other? 找他干嘛,来一出抱头痛哭,骨肉相认？ I also feared that the coherence of his quack remedy I do not put, how saying that was also sale price 10 billion big shot. 我还怕他狗皮膏药似的粘着我不放了,怎么说也是身价百亿的大佬了。 When the time comes do't noisy my family can be peaceful? 到时候闹的我家不得安宁？ In 2018, in September midsummer. 2018年,九月盛夏。 Finally knew that Qin Ze of life experience, can face own life finally confidently. 终于得知身世的秦泽,终于能更坦然的面对自己的人生。