I called the ash, this was not my real name, in fact, I did not care about myself to call anything. 我叫灰,这不是我的真名,事实上,我也不在意自己叫什么。 Sits the emaciated young girl on wheelchair looks to out of the window, out of the window the bird of flashing through is her only dream. 坐在轮椅上的瘦弱少女望向窗外,窗外的闪过的飞鸟是她唯一的梦。 No, has special illness her, every day the vision of eye is dropping, the bird of out of the window, in her eyes is also the grey shadow that flashes through high-speed. 不,拥有特殊病症的她,每天眼睛的视力都在下降,窗外的飞鸟,在她眼里也不过是一只高速闪过的灰影。 Her world is gray. 她的世界是灰色的。 When kindergarten, the president is an affable fat uncle, he would sending some small between-meal snack to big fellow, then leads these pretty children to go to the office counselling work. 幼儿园时,园长是个和蔼可亲的胖叔叔,他总会给大家伙发些小零食,然后带着那些漂亮的孩子去办公室辅导作业。 However afterward, has not been one's turn my time, that affable fat uncle in the police officers by small town carried off, I still remember to the present, on that day encircled completely the angry guardian side the fat uncle... 不过后来,还未轮到我的时候,那名和蔼可亲的胖叔叔就被小镇上的警官带走,我到现在还记得,那天在胖叔叔身边围满了愤怒的家长... I do not want to respond other contemporaries, because of really nothing more to be said. 我不是很想搭理其他同龄人,因为实在没什么好说。 The mother once led me to go to various hospitals to inspect, „self-closing tendency” is I listens to have most glossaries. 妈妈曾带着我去各类医院检查过,“自闭倾向”是我听带过最多的词汇。 But I did not feel own self-closing, some of my at home many good friends. 可我一点都不觉得自己自闭,我在家里有许多好朋友。 Big polar bear puppet and clock and watch superhuman, desk lamp uncle and twin stars, as well as ..... 大白熊玩偶、钟表超人、台灯叔叔、双子星,以及..... Does not get on well with others as if becomes in the class these bear children's emphases. 不合群似乎成为了班里那些熊孩子的关注点。 They sew the small slip of paper toward my eye, nail, although is somewhat sore, but always some people played with oneself, not? 他们往我眼睛里、指甲缝里塞小纸片,虽然有些疼,但是总有人跟自己玩了,不是吗？ But after a period of time, I discovered that the eye looks at the thing is not very clear, therefore refuses to play this game. 可过了一段时间,我发现眼睛看东西不是很清楚,于是拒绝玩这个游戏。 These friends were not very happy. 那些朋友很不高兴。 The time of proficiently telling mother, mother was angry very much, entrains me to look for the teacher, looks these guardians. 到家告诉妈妈的时候,妈妈只是很生气,拽着我去找老师,去找那些家长。 The mother probably angry female lion, roared the enemy who each institute is seeing. 妈妈像是愤怒的母狮,咆哮着每一位所见的敌人。 However the effect is not very good. 然而效果并不是很好。 Next day, the teacher looked that my look changed, these friends are also as if angry very much, they said that oneself were taught by the parents, must make me taste that type of taste. 第二天,老师看我的眼神变了,那些朋友似乎也很生气,他们说自己被爸爸妈妈教训,也要让我尝尝那种滋味。 I do not understand. 我不懂。 Afterward I transferred schools. 后来我转学了。 To another city, saw from the birth to the present has not seen the father. 去往另一座城市,见到了从出生到现在都没有见到过的父亲。 Beard sloppily actually charming man. 一个胡子邋遢却又帅气的男人。 Then I do not know that anything is charming, but everyone said. 当时的我不知道什么是帅气,只是大家都这么说。 I only know that mother cried, then our family is living together. 我只知道妈妈哭了一通,然后我们一家人又在一起生活。 The father is driving the sedan car comes to the school to meet my time, that is I most joyful time, the schoolmates envy very much, taught the attractive female teacher of national language, has asked my father's news secretly. 爸爸开着小轿车来学校接我的时候,那是我最快乐的时光,同学们很羡慕,就连教导国语的漂亮女老师,也偷偷问过我爸爸的消息。 But does not last forever, mother often quarrelled with the father, father's sedan car disappeared, family's house also traded, the most character that at that time mother said that was „gambling”. 可是好景不长,妈妈时常跟爸爸吵架,爸爸的小轿车不见了,家里的房子也换了,那时妈妈说的最多的一个字,就是“赌”。 Afterward the father and mother separated, others said that they divorced, however I know, they have not actually married. 后来爸爸和妈妈分开,别人说他俩离婚了,然而我知道,他俩其实没有结过婚。 On just junior middle school time, many boys liked approaching me, wrote some unclear significances to me the things. 刚上初中的时候,有许多男孩子都喜欢靠近我,给我写一些不明意义的东西。 They will ask me to go out to play sometimes, but I only have gone one time, when comes back was taught by mother. 他们有时会请我出去玩,但我只去过一次,回来时就被妈妈教训了一顿。 I start the learned to reject. 我开始学会拒绝。 Does not know that because of the issue of childhood stopper slip of paper, is the study is extremely assiduous, our vision has been dropping, until putting on eyeglasses. 不知道是不是因为小时候塞纸片的问题,还是学习太过刻苦,我们视力一直都在下降,直至戴上眼镜。 They said that such I am more attractive, the teacher also said that often I am the mascot in class. 他们说这样的我更漂亮,老师也经常说我是班里的吉祥物。 Although I do not like this glossary, since everyone is happy, I happily was also good. 虽然我不喜欢这个词汇,既然大家开心,那我也开心好了。 Some day in the afternoon, I was caught in the small lane by one group of female students, their facial expression is fierce, the put out words all have the insult nature, I know that they are cursing at people. 某天下午,我被一群女生抓到小巷子内,她们神情狰狞,吐出的话语全都带有侮辱性质,我知道她们在骂人。 Probably is related with some male student, who as for is, I am not clear. 好像是与某个男生有关,至于是谁,我不清楚。 I was hit. 我被打了。 From infancy to maturity the first time. 从小到大还是第一次。 The lens of disruption go into the eye, I entered the hospital. 碎裂的镜片扎进眼睛里,我进了医院。 Listened to the doctor saying that is good makes with the resin because of the present lens, when disruption extremely will not be incisive. 听医生说,好在现在的镜片都是用树脂制造,碎裂时也不会太过尖锐。 Since that day, I looked that the appearance of the world is fuzzier. 只是从那天开始,我看世界的模样更加模糊。 The mother is bringing a lawsuit with that group of people probably. 妈妈好像在和那群人打官司。 Except for some insignificant wealth, our anything has not obtained. 除了一些微不足道的钱财,我们什么都没有得到。 I understood for the first time anything is called „minor”. 我第一次理解了什么叫做“未成年人”。 I changed the school, 我又换了所学校, Becoming the new mascot by the outstanding appearance. Some male students give something to me as before, I with „rejection that” oneself learn, rejects them. 凭借出众的样貌成为了新的吉祥物。依旧有男生给我送些东西,我用自己学会的“拒绝”,拒绝他们。 Simultaneously studies diligently. 同时努力学习。 Because mother told me, so long as the do well at school, they will not ask me to trouble. 因为妈妈告诉我,只要学习成绩好,他们就不会来找我麻烦。 Recently mother always comes back is very late, I discovered that she has the relation with that person of man. 妈妈最近总是回来的很晚,我发现她还是和那人男人有联系。 Right, „that man”, mother does not allow me to call his father. 对,“那个男人”,妈妈不允许我叫他爸爸。 Every night, I most often hear when is mother does accounts the whisper sound. 每天夜里,我最常听到的就是妈妈算账时的嘀咕声。 Probably because of that man, our family's condition day is inferior for day. 好像是因为那个男人,我们家里的条件一天不如一天。 My big polar bear puppet did not have, mother said the miss who grows up does not need this type of weak toy. 我的大白熊玩偶没了,妈妈说长大的姑娘不需要这种幼稚的玩具。 However she has not bought the mature toy for me. 然而她也没有给我买过成熟的玩具。 The mother made a sum of money probably. 妈妈好像赚到了一笔钱。 Is locating the weekend, mood happy she decided that leads me to make an automatic pilot roaming! 正处周末,心情高兴的她决定带我去做来一场自驾游! I do not know the significance that does this which, compared with outside, I likes in the family/home. 我不知道这样做的意义在哪,比起外面,我更喜欢家里。 In fact, my choice is correct. 事实上,我的选择才是正确的。 The mother probably are many year not to drive, the automobile that in addition buys newly as if gets on the brakes to have the issue, or was fudged, this judge told me afterward. 妈妈好像很多年没开过车,加上新买的汽车似乎刹车有问题,又或者是被人动了手脚,这是后来法官告诉我的。 Who as for is, I do not know to the present. 至于是谁,我到现在也不知道。 At that time, I only noticed when mother avoided leaps up street the panic-stricken expression of kitty suddenly to the freight vehicle that... as well as came. I see mother for the last time, in hospital. 当时,我只看到妈妈躲避突然蹿向马路的猫咪时的惊恐表情...以及迎面而来的货车。我最后一次见到妈妈,是在医院。 That man told me, she walked. 那个男人告诉我,她走了。 That man adopted me. 那个男人领养了我。 Forgot saying that the doctor said that I was very lucky, the airbag fabrics caught me completely, but the both legs of card in compressing patch, without was so without doubt lucky. 哦,忘了说了,医生说我很幸运,安全气囊完全接住了我,不过卡在压扁贴片中的双腿,无疑没有那么幸运。 That man said that his ability is limited, only installed to me extremity/limb that maintains the aesthetic sense, is only cannot the normal motion, most of the time must sit on the wheelchair. 那个男人说他能力有限,只给我装了保持美感的仿肢,只是不能正常运动,绝大部分时间都得坐在轮椅上。 I thought that for the first time this world is very unfair. 我第一次觉得这个世界很不公平。 That man marries another woman, should I call her... the stepmother? Stepmother? 那个男人与另外一个女人结了婚,我应该叫她...后妈？继母？ She starts to be good to me, after all the light from the daily life, stepmother's family is quite wealthy. 她开始对我还算不错,毕竟光从日常生活来看,继母的家庭较为富裕。 I had an Elder Brother, a younger sister, is stepmother's child. 我有了一个哥哥,一个妹妹,都是继母的孩子。 The Elder Brother is very good to me, is only his look is sometimes very bad. 哥哥对我很好,只是他的眼神有时很糟糕。 The younger sister... she is a mischievous fellow, always likes calling my cripple and blind person, at this time, the Elder Brother will always reprove her. 妹妹...她是个调皮的家伙,总喜欢叫我瘸子与瞎子,这时,哥哥总是会训斥她。 She when looks at each other with me, I saw in her look has the different kind mood, once these dozen of my female students also had this look, afterward I understand that is the envy. 她在与我对视的时候,我看到了她眼神之中有别样情绪,曾经那些打我的女生也有这种眼神,后来我明白,那是嫉妒。 I do not understand why she must envy me, envies a cripple, „blind person”. 我不明白她为什么要嫉妒我,嫉妒一个瘸子,一个“瞎子”。 Has the happy family obviously, easy and comfortable environment, countless toy, as well as a group of friend...... 明明有美好的家庭,安逸的环境,数之不尽的玩具,以及一大群朋友...... Due to health reasons, I in the school, the stepmother to me did not hire the tutor, the study still to continue. 因为身体原因,我不在去学校,继母给我请了家庭教师,学习依然在继续。 Why perhaps does not know, has the reason that the nanny looks , the stepmother has not exchanged the new power extremity/limb to me. 不知道为什么,许是有保姆照护的原因,继母并没有给我换上新的动力肢。 Perhaps that thing is very expensive, therefore I think casually, such life is also good, but was short of mother. 也许那玩意很贵,所以我只是随便想了一下,这样的生活也挺好,只是少了妈妈。 In addition...... 除此之外...... Please remember this book first round domain name:. Tang three Chinese net cell phone version reading websites: 请记住本书首发域名:。唐三中文网手机版阅读网址: