System prompt: You have agreed to join the group, greeted with the group friends! 系统提示:您已同意加入群组,和群友们打个招呼吧！ Li Xianyu preparation symbolic sends one „everyone's good”, then withdraws from the software, who knew Thunder and Lightning Dharma King first to report a news in the group: „Members, introduced the new colleague to everyone, Li Xianyu, just joins Law Enforcement Department today, everyone welcome.” 李羡鱼准备象征性的发一个“大家好”,然后退出软件,谁知雷电法王抢先在群里发了条消息:“全体成员,给大家介绍一下新同事,李羡鱼,今天刚加入执法部,大家欢迎。” Li Xianyu has to revise the expression, the edition: „I called Li Xianyu, asking fellow seniors to look after much, where if I did was not good, you hit......” 李羡鱼只好修改措词,编辑:“我叫李羡鱼,请各位前辈多多关照,如果我哪里做的不好,你们来打……” The hand along, the deletion, changed silently: „You criticize.” 手顺了,默默删除,改成:“你们多批评。” Then sends. 然后发出去。 In the group a peace, no one responded radically, even if Thunder and Lightning Dharma King used the manager jurisdiction members. 群里一片安静,根本没人回应,哪怕雷电法王用管理员权限全体成员。 The seniors seem like the appearance of aloof. 前辈们看起来好高冷的样子。 After several minutes, finally some people responded. 几分钟后,终于有人响应了。 Thunder Battle Lady: „Welcome.” 雷霆战姬:“欢迎欢迎。” Young Girl Killer: „, New your women's wear.” 少女杀手:“呵,新来的你女装吧。” Fingering Like Taka Kato: „New hearing does not have, women's wear, otherwise kicks you to go out.” 指法酷似加藤鹰:“新来的听到没,女装吧,不然踢你出去。” Li Bai: „It is very pleasant to have friends from afar. If the up-and-comers the women's wear, is more delighted.” 李白:“有朋自远方来,不亦乐乎。新人若女装,更不亦乐乎。” Several people who few crop up, except for first fair, other makes Li Xianyu feel maliciously deeply. 寥寥冒头的几个人,除了第一位中规中矩,其他的让李羡鱼感受到深深地恶意。 When does not know starts, the group old person always likes sexually harassing the rookie to wear the women's wear. 不知道什么时候开始,群里的老人总喜欢调戏新人穿女装。 But the women's wear is the impossible women's wear, this whole life is impossible. 但女装是不可能女装的,这辈子都不可能的。 【Law Enforcement Department Head】 Thunder and Lightning Dharma King round 【Perspiration】 Expression: „The appearance of your a little senior, does not want the skin. His status said scares to death you.” 【执法部长】雷电法王发了【流汗】的表情:“你们有点前辈的样子,不要皮。他的身份说出来吓死你。” Thunder Battle Lady: „?” 雷霆战姬:“？” Young Girl Killer: „?” 少女杀手:“？” Fingering Like Taka Kato: „?” 指法酷似加藤鹰:“？” 【Archivist】 Mo Fei: „Yes, his status is not very ordinary, we knew.” 【档案管理员】墨菲:“是的,他的身份很不一般,我们大家都认识。” Li Xianyu notices, this Mo Fei is like Thunder and Lightning Dharma King, has the big shot of prefix, Archivist? She should know oneself real status. 李羡鱼注意到,这个墨菲和雷电法王一样,是有前缀的大佬,档案管理员么？那她应该知道自己的真实身份。 The Unparalleled Battle Soul successor, the Li Wuxiang son, said scares to death you. 呵,无双战魂的继承者,李无相的儿子,说出来吓死你们。 The Li Xianyu corners of the mouth select. 李羡鱼嘴角一挑。 Li Bai: „Mo Fei, talks clearly.” 李白:“墨菲,说清楚点。” Thunder Battle Lady: „Did we know? Did not say the rookie.” 雷霆战姬:“我们都认识？不是说新人么。” The Thunder Battle Lady head picture is a short hair pretty beautiful woman, does not know that is oneself. 雷霆战姬的头像是一个短发娇俏的美人,不知是不是本人。 【Archivist】 Mo Fei: „You wait/etc..” 【档案管理员】墨菲:“你们等等啊。” After more than ten seconds, in Mo Fei round of group a picture, Li Xianyu entering duty table, inside has his detail, as well as his one inch photo. 十几秒后,墨菲发群里一张照片,正是李羡鱼的入职表,里面有他的详细资料,以及他的一寸照。 The Li Xianyu facial features were delicate, grow one to ask for the leather bag that the woman liked very much. 李羡鱼五官清秀,长了一副很讨女人喜欢的皮囊。 【Archivist】 Mo Fei: „Asked that you did fear.” 【档案管理员】墨菲:“就问你们怕不怕。” In the group is suddenly peaceful. 群里突然安静下来。 The Li Xianyu corners of the mouth smiling face spreads, he as if foresaw quiet from now on moving restlessly, the big shot affirmed shocking in the extreme, the following content „oh, the Unparalleled Battle Soul successor” and „big shot, accepts my knee” only and „big shot, is interested in making a py transaction” wait/etc.. 李羡鱼嘴角笑容扩散,他仿佛预见了沉寂过后的躁动,大佬们肯定震惊的无以复加,接下来的内容无外乎“哇塞,无双战魂的继承者”、“大佬,收下我的膝盖”、“大佬,有没有兴趣做一笔py交易”等等。 Really, after several seconds, in group cooker. 果然,几秒后,群里炸锅了。 First was Li Bai sent a picture, was one lies down the man stark naked on bed, stared greatly the eye, sent out fierce murderous aura, was extremely astonishing. 先是李白发了一张图片,是一个赤条条躺在床上的男人,瞪大着眼睛,散发出狰狞的杀气,极其惊人。 On the picture matches the character: 【Looks at anything to look, father 20 centimeters shouted you】 图片上配字:【看什么看,老子二十厘米呼死你】 Li Xianyu: „!!!” 李羡鱼:“！！！” The smiling face on Li Xianyu face disappears gradually, then gradually fierce...... 李羡鱼脸上的笑容渐渐消失,接着渐渐狰狞…… The fellow in picture is he, right, was that day almost by Qingqing/green forcefully harvesting and supplementing him. 图片里的家伙就是他,没错的,是那天差点被青青强行采补的他。 At this moment, his private photo is appearing in the employee group, does not hit horse that type. 此刻,他的私密照正出现在公司员工群里,还是不打马那种。 Wait! 等等！ Why my picture will appear here, when did I make this type of picture? 我的照片为什么会出现在这里,我什么时候拍这种照片了？ Thunder Battle Lady sent exactly the same picture, but is different from the character: 【Comes, to fight.】 雷霆战姬发了一模一样的照片,但配字不一样:【来啊,来战啊。】 Young Girl Killer with on, the picture matches the character: 【Kneels down, calls the father.】 少女杀手同上,图片配字:【跪下,叫爸爸。】 Fingering Like Taka Kato with on, the picture matches the character: 【So is rampant, you feared that does not know true strength】 指法酷似加藤鹰同上,图片配字:【一个个都这么嚣张,你们怕是不知道真正的力量】 Li Xianyu thought that on that day Uncle Qin had to him has photographed. 李羡鱼想起来了,那天秦大爷有给他拍过照。 No wonder San Wu meets calls him „Man With A Very Big Dingding”, San Wu only others most distinct characteristics. 难怪三无一见面就叫他“丁丁很大的男人”,三无只记别人最鲜明的特征。 Originally his private photo has spread in the company group, and was fumbled and broken up the show by them. 原来他的私密照早就在公司群流传,并且被他们玩坏了。 Li Xianyu holds the hand of cell phone to shiver fiercely...... 李羡鱼捧着手机的手剧烈颤抖…… He felt this world deep evil intention. 他感受到了这个世界深深的恶意。 Black history for a lifetime. 一辈子的黑历史。 【Manager】 Thunder and Lightning Dharma King: „, You sufficed, this chart litigant not, when played to be good, do not go too far. After all Li Xianyu is a child. When Walking Pile-driver the group favors well also......” 【管理员】雷电法王:“咳咳,你们够了,这种图当事人不在的时候玩玩就好了,不要太过分。毕竟李羡鱼还是个孩子。行走的打桩机当个群宠也不错……” The god damn group favors, Li Xianyu covers the face silently. 神特么群宠,李羡鱼默默捂脸。 Young Girl Killer: „Child? Has boundless prospects.” 少女杀手:“还是孩子？前途无量。” Fingering Like Taka Kato: „Has boundless prospects.” 指法酷似加藤鹰:“前途无量。” Li Bai: „Has boundless prospects.” 李白:“前途无量。” 【Manager】 Thunder and Lightning Dharma King: „......” 【管理员】雷电法王:“……” He withdrew front that several charts silently, as the manager, he has this jurisdiction. 他默默把前面那几张图撤回了,身为管理员,他有这个权限。 【Manager】 Thunder and Lightning Dharma King: „Li Xianyu you also.” 【管理员】雷电法王:“李羡鱼你还在么。” Human Form Pile-driver: „rookie hides in the corner trembles, you at least call the mosaic to be good me, does the net net action is like a raging fire, believe to report you.” 人形打桩机:“小萌新躲在角落里瑟瑟发抖,你们至少给我打马赛克好么,净网行动如火如荼,信不信举报你们。” Young Girl Killer: „Reporting is also useless, this app is company the software of internal development, without the reporting function, is in itself „ must not exposed to light” the software, compares the thing in information and forum, trivial R 18 is anything. ” 少女杀手:“举报也没用,这款app是公司内部开发的软件,没有举报功能,本身就是“见不得光”的软件,相比起资讯、论坛上的东西,区区十八禁算什么。” Li Xianyu received Thunder and Lightning Dharma King private chat, Thunder and Lightning Dharma King: „Your status temporarily do not reveal to the public, although in the group is the people on one's own side, but must keep secret, will wait for in the future your awakening bloodlines, will have certain self-preservation ability, you can see the person frankly and uprightly.” 李羡鱼收到了雷电法王的私聊,雷电法王:“你的身份暂时不要公之于众,虽然群里都是自己人,但仍然要保密,等将来你觉醒血脉,拥有一定的自保能力,你才能光明正大的见人。” Li Xianyu replies one 【Ok】 The hand signal, complained while convenient: „Dharma King, how I thought that the senior in group...... is not quite friendly?” 李羡鱼回复一个【ok】手势,顺便吐槽:“法王,我怎么觉得群里的前辈……不太友好？” Thunder and Lightning Dharma King: „Is your misconception.” 雷电法王:“是你错觉。” Li Xianyu: „It is not an misconception.” 李羡鱼:“绝不是错觉。” Thunder and Lightning Dharma King: „On these comparison skins, in the group other steady staff easily does not crop up.” 雷电法王:“就这几个比较皮而已,群里其他稳重的员工轻易不冒头的。” Li Xianyu: „Oh.” 李羡鱼:“噢。” At this time, Li Xianyu saw in the group some people in him. 这时,李羡鱼看到群里有人在他。 Cuts the group to chat, discovered that his person is also a big shot who has the prefix: 【Medical Department Vice Department Head】, But compares his name, the prefix was not anything, he called „Li Shizhen”. 切换到群聊,发现他的人也是一位有前缀的大佬:【医疗部副部长】,但相比起他的名字,前缀就不算什么了,他叫“李时珍”。 【Medical Department Vice Department Head】 Li Shizhen: „Walking Pile-driver, looks at your appearance, has very serious kidney empty, the essence of kidney conceals human body, regarding blood descendant, the kidney is the most important organ, your such condition, is very difficult to be put on regular status the lawman, another day will come to the company, I help your acupuncture, receives your five points, the reasonable price, treats both the young and old honestly.” 【医疗部副部长】李时珍:“行走的打桩机,看你面相,有很严重的肾虚,肾藏人体之精,对于血裔来说,肾才是最重要的器官,你这样的状态,恐怕很难转正成执法者,改天来公司,我帮你针灸,收你五点积分,价格公道,童叟无欺。” Young Girl Killer: „Pitiful child, almost by fox suck dry essence.” 少女杀手:“可怜的孩子,差点被狐妖吸干精气了吧。” Fingering Like Taka Kato: „Couple days ago Uncle Qin said, this boy by fox harvesting and supplementing, therefore the man stick law was been almost good, immaterial, more importantly must have the refined fingering, perhaps it can rescue your life.” 指法酷似加藤鹰:“前几天秦大爷说,这小子差点被狐妖采补,所以说男人棍法好不好,无关紧要,重要的是要有脱俗的指法,没准它能救你一命。” Walking Pile-driver: „Can rescue? But I do not have points, I am an rookie.” 行走的打桩机:“能救么？可我没有积分,我还是新人。” Li Xianyu is overjoyed. 李羡鱼大喜过望。 【Medical Department Vice Department Head】 Li Shizhen: „Kidney empty, the issue is not big, the points words can give credit, later you gain to points again to me.” 【医疗部副部长】李时珍:“肾虚而已,问题不大,积分的话可以赊账,以后你赚到积分再给我。” The Li Shizhen round these words, then received Thunder and Lightning Dharma King private chat: „Do not pledge randomly, you could not save him.” 李时珍发完这段话,便收到了雷电法王的私聊:“别乱承诺,你救不了他的。” Li Shizhen: „?” 李时珍:“？” How possibly, his solemn Chinese medicine big national champion, the blood descendant world famous gold/metal needle highly skilled doctor, can the trivial kidney empty baffle him? 怎么可能,他堂堂中医大国手,血裔界大名鼎鼎的金针神医,区区肾虚能难倒他？ Even the deficiency of vitalness of the kidneys he is still easy. 就算是肾亏他也手到擒来。 Thunder and Lightning Dharma King: „Hehe, did the kidney of Li Wuxiang cure thanks to you?” 雷电法王:“呵呵,李无相的肾亏你治好了？” Li Shizhen: „That different, he is because...... is slow, your what meaning?!” 李时珍:“那不一样,他是因为……慢着,你什么意思？！” Thunder and Lightning Dharma King: „The Li Family inherited deficiency of vitalness of the kidneys understands.” 雷电法王:“李家祖传的肾亏了解一下。” Li Shizhen: „...... He is the Li Wuxiang son!” 李时珍:“……他是李无相的儿子！” Li Shizhen fierce response. 李时珍猛的反应过来。 Thunder and Lightning Dharma King: „Company knows that the person of this matter are not many, remembers the security.” 雷电法王:“公司知道这件事的人不多,记得保密。” In group, Walking Pile-driver: „Li Shizhen, the big shot, our approximately time meets, might as well hit at a later date day, is good on today, I come now.” 群里,行走的打桩机:“李时珍,大佬,我们约个时间见面吧,择日不如撞日,就今天好嘛,我现在就过来。” System prompt: Li Shizhen withdrew a news. 系统提示:李时珍撤回了一条消息。 System prompt: Li Shizhen withdrew a news. 系统提示:李时珍撤回了一条消息。 He had said himself two words, withdrew completely. 他把自己说过的两段话,全部撤回了。 What's the matter? 怎么回事？ Walking Pile-driver: „Li Shizhen , points I certainly will what's wrong give back to you in the future, the moral integrity pledged.” 行走的打桩机:“李时珍,怎么了,积分我将来一定还给你,节操发誓。” 【Medical Department Vice Department Head】 Li Shizhen: „Was incurable, said goodbye.” 【医疗部副部长】李时珍:“没救了,告辞。” Thunder Battle Lady: „Li Shizhen, the proper business does not want the skin, if points, I first give you for Li Xianyu.” 雷霆战姬:“李时珍,正事不要皮,如果是积分的话,我替李羡鱼先给你。” But no matter Thunder Battle Lady how he, Li Shizhen never responded, as if already winding. 但不管雷霆战姬怎么他,李时珍始终不予回应,似乎已经下线了。 Thunder Battle Lady: „Walking Pile-driver, you will go to the company to look for him another day, the Li Shizhen acupuncture technique is very fierce, he possibly had the matter winding.” 雷霆战姬:“行走的打桩机,改天你自己去公司找他吧,李时珍的针灸术很厉害的,他可能有事下线了。” Li Xianyu at heart one warm: „Thanks Battle Lady.” 李羡鱼心里一暖:“谢谢战姬。” Really the female sympathizes gently, is with good intention, in this big shot group of everywhere, the Battle Lady words in a fire like winter, warmed the Li Xianyu weak kidney. 果然还是女子体贴温柔,善解人意,在这个大佬遍地的群里,战姬的话就像冬天里的一把火,温暖了李羡鱼虚弱的肾。 Fingering Like Taka Kato: „Show year, the kidney empty do not fear, the real man never depends on the stick law, I teach you a move of Japanese long-lost fingering, making you get out of the kidney empty worry since then, in return, you must the women's wear repayment.” 指法酷似加藤鹰:“骚年,肾虚不要怕,真男人从不靠棍法,我教你一招东瀛失传已久的指法,让你从此摆脱肾虚烦恼,作为交换,你得女装报答。” Young Girl Killer is not convinced: „Fingering stick law is the dishonest ways, what the real man depends is the charm, a look can let woman spirit high tide/climax.” 少女杀手不服气:“指法棍法都是歪门邪道,真男人靠的是魅力,一个眼神就能让女人精神高潮。” Fingering Like Taka Kato: „Go away, your is the talent skill, how you teach.” 指法酷似加藤鹰:“滚,你那是天赋技能,你怎么教。” Young Girl Killer: „You are different.” 少女杀手:“你不一样。” Fingering Like Taka Kato offered a sacrifice to the Li Xianyu big Dingding fruit photo, the picture matched the character: „Kneels down, calls the father.” 指法酷似加藤鹰祭出了李羡鱼的大丁丁果照,图片配字:“跪下,叫爸爸。” Young Girl Killer counter-attack, same picture, with character: „You know nothing about the strength.” 少女杀手反击,同样的图片,配字:“你对力量一无所知。” They start to fight the chart crazily, the picture is the eternally unchanging on root great talent fruit photo, the matching character simply brush of big shot...... 他俩开始疯狂斗图,图片是永恒不变的上根大器果照,大佬们的配字简直神来之笔…… A Li Xianyu at heart despair. 李羡鱼心里一片绝望。 Vajra: „You quarrelled, all day knows brushed does not have the thing of nutrition, who had the new seed, the share gives me.” 金刚:“你们吵死了,整天就知道刷一些没营养的东西,谁有新番种子,分享给我。” Another company senior crops up. 又一个公司前辈冒头。 Young Girl Killer: „In group document has the seed, oneself download.” 少女杀手:“群文件里有种子,自己下载去。” Vajra: „Has looked, I want new.” 金刚:“都看过了,我要新番。” Fingering Like Taka Kato: „Who has that type of thing, we do not need.” 指法酷似加藤鹰:“谁有那种东西,我们又不需要。” Vajra: „Long Aotian is good, the seed in group is he uploads, after his deep sleep, this group does not have the talent, wants you to have what using.” 金刚:“还是龙傲天好,群里的种子都是他上传的,他沉睡后,这个群已经没有人才了,要你们有何用。” Thunder Battle Lady: „Hehe.” 雷霆战姬:“呵呵。” Li Bai: „Sitting alone library is the wife, this sentiment does not raise with the bystander. Vajra, your tragedy.” 李白:“独坐书斋手作妻,此情不与外人提。金刚,你个悲剧。” Quite a while no one responded. 半天没人回应。 Walking Pile-driver: „If trades the right hand the left hand, if then renounces one's wife and sends her back to her parent's home finds a wife again?” 行走的打桩机:“若将左手换右手,便如休妻再娶妻？” In the group falls into silent, then, Li Bai: „Strokes duplicate/restores strokes, the whole body weak eye is blurred.” 群里又陷入沉默,然后,李白:“一捋一捋复一捋,浑身酥软眼迷离。” Walking Pile-driver: „Tip falls on the place, the generation after generation changes to the mud.” 行走的打桩机:“点点滴滴落在地,子子孙孙化作泥。” Should end the poem to here, but Li Bai had not finished, he continues: „Afterward feels insignificant, determination henceforth non- hand wife. Walking Pile-driver” 诗到这里本该结束了,但李白没结束,他继续:“事后觉得无意义,决心从此不手妻。行走的打桩机” The Li Xianyu heart said, this is must fight the poem with me? 李羡鱼心说,这是要跟我斗诗么？ Walking Pile-driver: „In a day of night, is neat the rolled paper shop.” 行走的打桩机:“又是一天深夜里,再把卷纸铺整齐。” Li Bai: „Last night sighed with emotion had forgotten, Vajra scrap paper wound body.” 李白:“昨夜感慨已忘记,金刚废纸伤身体。” Walking Pile-driver: „Has not found a wife first kidney empty, you said that was a pity.” 行走的打桩机:“还未娶妻先肾虚,你说可惜不可惜。” Edition these words time, Li Xianyu nose acid, old wants to cry. 编辑这段话的时候,李羡鱼鼻子一酸,老想哭了。 Li Bai: „Your really is a talent.” 李白:“你真特么是个人才。” Walking Pile-driver: „You are also pretty good.” 行走的打桩机:“你也不赖。” Thunder Battle Lady: „......” 雷霆战姬:“……” Young Girl Killer: „......” 少女杀手:“……” Fingering Like Taka Kato: „......” 指法酷似加藤鹰:“……” Thunder and Lightning Dharma King: „......” 雷电法王:“……” Vajra: „......” 金刚:“......”