On the spot. 现场。 The atmosphere was finally hot! 气氛终于热了！ When that several just came wanted the drowsy buddy at this moment with hitting chicken blood, the staring bead was full of energy! 那几个刚来时都要昏昏欲睡的哥们儿此刻一个个跟打了鸡血似的,都瞪着眼珠子精神抖擞了！ King Xiongzui smiled sourly, „this Little Zhang!” 王雄嘴都笑酸了,“这个小张！” Feng Guiqin looks Zhang Ye that on the stage spoke with confidence, slight bow. 冯桂琴看着台上侃侃而谈的张烨,微微点头。 „How had a look under him to say.” Another commercial management is also very inspired. “看看他下面怎么说吧。”另一个公司领导也很振奋。 Other colleague also similar responses, are only this beginning and thermal field, everybody's attention completely was attracted to pass! 其他同事也都差不多的反应,就光是这个开场和热场,大家的注意力就全部被吸引过去了！ The audiences so, looked that shout and applause then knew! 观众们更是如此,看那喊声和鼓掌声便知道了！ The Zhang Ye pressure the hand said: „Good, thank you.” The applause stops, he then seriously said: „You also know that I arrive at today step by step, had one's own fans, had the one's own column, is a successful public figure.” He the principle takes care of the tie, „looks like my this specific name person, my this superstar......” 张烨压压手道:“好,谢谢大家。”掌声一停,他便严肃道:“你们大家也知道,我一步步走到今天,有了自己的粉丝,有了自己的栏目,已经算是个成功人士了。”他又理了理领带,“像我这种名人,我这种大明星……” The underlings create a disturbance! 底下人都起哄！ „yi!” “咿！” „Oh!” “噢！” „Ha Ha!” “哈哈！” Zhang Ye confuses blinks big eye to look under the stage, „...... Doesn't here smile?” 张烨迷惑地眨巴着大眼睛看着台下,“……这里不是笑点啊？” „Pū!” Result one hear of this saying audiences smile lean this way and that! “噗！”结果一听这话观众们笑得更是东倒西歪！ „Good.” Zhang Ye touches the forehead, said: „Today has succeeded, often will remember various humiliations of childhood, in going to school, daytime was bullied by the male student in that in the evening...... Was rejected by the female student.” Here, Zhang Ye has coughed, sobbed said: „In that because one's own is excessively outstanding by the age that others repel, they cannot certainly think that I will have today.” Zhang Ye looks that the camera points at scene to treat a matter seriously saying: „Therefore I must speak a few words to scene today, all saw that person who this program and before have bullied my listened, your names will appear in the joke uninterruptedly!” Then, has referred to two scene maliciously! “好吧是吧。”张烨摸了摸额头,道:“今天成功了,往往就会想起小时候的各种屈辱,在上学的时候,在那个白天被男生欺负,晚上……被女生拒绝。”说到这里,张烨咳嗽了一声,唏嘘不已道:“在那个因为自己过分优秀而被别人排斥的年代,他们一定想不到我会有今天。”张烨看着摄像机指着镜头郑重其事道:“所以今天我要对镜头说一句话,所有看到这个节目、之前欺负过我的人听好了,你们的名字会不间断地出现在笑话里！”说完,又狠狠指了两下镜头！ „Hahaha!” “哈哈哈！” Everybody applauds with a smile. 大家笑着鼓掌。 Naturally, inside also has several exceptions. 当然,里面也有几个例外。 The present is the card juan exchange trades time, obviously several male looks down cell phone, probably is looking at the stock, with a worried look. 现在是证劵交易所交易时间,明显有几个男的低头看着手机,好像在看股票,一个个愁眉不展。 Zhang Ye said with a smile: „Some people have not possibly known or not been familiar with me, introduced oneself, I called Zhang Ye, Miao Honggen the Beijing person, this time went to Shanghai to come also for many days, often very much thought of that one's own hometown, had my several colleagues like me is not the Shanghai native, often we missed homeland, when for example I thought Beijing, my one's own ran to eat a roast duck, when for example my two northeast colleague missed homeland, ate a stuffed dumpling, with the solution nostalgia, I also had a colleague, was my university schoolmate, she called Dong Shanshan.” 张烨微笑道:“有些人可能还不认识或不熟悉我,自我介绍一下,我叫张烨,苗红根正的京城人,这次远赴上海来也好多天了,时常很想念自己的家乡,像我还有我好几个同事都不是上海本地人,每每我们想家的时候,比如我想京城时,我就自己跑去吃一顿烤鸭,比如我那两个东北的同事想家时,就去吃一顿饺子,以解乡愁,我还有一个同事,也是我的大学同学,她叫董杉杉。” Dong Shanshan: „......” 董杉杉:“……” Came! Here we go again! 来了来了！又来了！ Under stage person, as soon as listens to the Dong Shanshan name to smile. 台下人一听董杉杉的名字就想笑。 Wang Bei contains them also with a smile to look to Dong Shanshan, has bumped her with the leg. 王蓓张涵她们也都笑着看向董杉杉,拿腿碰了碰她。 Zhang Ye said: „Dong Shanshan is a native of Inner Mongolia, when she misses homeland a little not easy to do......” he, suddenly a transition, „, therefore thought Inner Mongolia in Shanghai each time, she went to the card juan exchange.” Zhang Ye waving affectionate gesture said: „Looks at that vast green!” 张烨道:“董杉杉是内蒙人,当她想家的时候有点不好办……”他顿了顿,猛然一转折,“所以每次在上海想内蒙了,她就去证劵交易所。”张烨挥手深情比划道:“看一看那一望无际的绿色！” At heart how several are lowering the head curses stock every day in the person of falling, listened to this, in an instant gains ground, then covered the belly to smile to spurt! 几个正在低头心里咒骂股票怎么每天都在跌的人,听了这句,都刹那间抬起头,然后捂着肚子笑喷了！ „Hahaha!” “啊哈哈哈！” „Too was whoops funny!” “哎呦太逗了！” „You think that is the prairie!” “你以为那是草原啊！” Person who other do not speculate in the stock market, was teased laughs! 其他就算不炒股的人,也被逗得哈哈一笑！ Now a stock market piece flutters green, every day is falling, Zhang Ye this piece has fluttered immediately current event exactly everywhere, piece effect naturally very good! 现在股市一片飘绿,每天都在跌,张烨这个段子恰好到处地勾住了当下的时事,段子效果当然非常之好！ Dong Shanshan does not know that was any expression, aerobic the funny appearance, the photograph repeatedly hit scene to her, caught her expressions. 董杉杉已经不知道是个什么表情了,好气又好笑的样子,摄像频频把镜头打给她,捕捉到了她的一个个表情。 Wang Bei teased: „Shanshan, getting down must punch him!” 王蓓调侃道:“杉杉,下去必须揍他！” Zhang Hanzui also smiled tired, „Teacher Zhang Ye was too interesting! Whoops I cannot smile again! The chin stiffened!” 张涵嘴也笑累了,“张烨老师太有趣了！哎呦我不能再笑了！下巴都僵住了啊！” The Zhang Ye piece one after another, links up is very harmonious, without any stiff feeling, „stock has been falling, the price has been rising, the only wages are not long, some people said that the life like Beijing Shanghai this A-list city was too quick, had this view?” 张烨的段子是一个接一个,衔接上也十分融洽,没有任何生硬的感觉,“股票一直在跌,物价一直在涨,唯独工资不长,有些人就说了,像京城上海这种一线城市的生活实在太快了啊,是不是有这种说法？” This is the audience interacts, is Talkshow big characteristics. 这是和观众互动,也是脱口秀的一大特色。 „Yes.” “是啊。” „Has.” “有。” „Right.” “对的。” The audiences said. 观众们出言道。 Zhang Ye has a look at them, „do you also agree with this view?” Everybody has not understood that Zhang Ye must say anything, suddenly listens not to make noise, then sees Zhang Ye saying: „I did not agree that moreover I thought that this view is very laughable and weak! Are Beijing Shanghai and other A-list city life too quick? Said this words person definitely not in the A-list city life!” The expression stops, a Zhang Ye face said suddenly worried loudly: „Also quick? I want to ask! Have you gone by car in Beijing Shanghai?? Have you gotten down piece in the corporate office?? Quick anything quick!” 张烨看看他们,“你们也都同意这个说法？”大家没明白张烨要说什么,都眨眼听着没出声,接着就见张烨道:“我是不同意的,而且我觉得这种说法十分可笑和幼稚！京城上海等一线城市生活太快？说出这种话的人肯定没在一线城市生活过！”语气一停,张烨猛然一脸气闷地大声道:“还快？我想问问！你们在京城上海坐过车吗？啊？你们在公司办公室下过片吗？啊？快什么啊快！” The people stare, then laughs suddenly! 众人一愣,然后骤然爆笑！ Zhang Ye does not stop, the moment makes everybody rest or sad time does not give, „mentioned that the issue of vehicle, I have thought this morning has looked at CCTV in the morning news, now advocates the green to go on a journey, did everybody look?” 张烨不停顿,一刻让大家休息或沉闷的时间都不给,“提到车子的问题,我想到了今天早上看过的一则央视早间新闻,现在提倡绿色出行,大家都看了吧？” „Looked.” “看了。” „Right.” “对啊。” „This news duplicated for several days.” “这新闻重复好几天了。” The audiences echo to say. 观众们附和道。 A Zhang Ye face has no alternative saying: „In news said unceasingly that others foreigners have bought the vehicle, that does not open, others car(riage)s are putting with the family|home, others foreigners go out go to work are sit the public transportation to take the subway!” He was saying the booth lets go, „good, I believed was not good.” 张烨一脸无可奈何道:“新闻上不断地说,人家老外买了车子啊,那都是不开的,人家的车都是跟家里放着的,人家老外出门上班是坐公交坐地铁的！”他说着摊摊手,“好吧,我信了还不行吗。” „Pū!” “噗！” „yi!” “咿！” „Hahaha!” “哈哈哈！” Zhang Ye this „I believed have not believed”, in stamp smiling of many person! 张烨这句“我信了还不信吗”,戳中了很多人的笑点,！ The ironic significance was too strong, you determined that you said didn't have the issue to feed really? 讽刺意味太浓了啊,你确定你这么说真的没问题吗喂？ Zhang Ye said innocently: „I live simply and frugally economically in everyday spending buy a car(riage) with great difficulty, the television have made me respond the summons green to go on a journey immediately, good, I did not open, finally next day...... The parking fee rose! I think that the vehicle stopped there is too expensive, really stops does not get up, therefore I started to drive, result third day...... The oil price rose! To finally, really could not reckon up by the Mathematics ability of my fine powder, the car(riage) stopped to start to be cheap there small advantage!” 张烨无辜道:“我省吃俭用节衣缩食好不容易买了一辆车,电视立刻让我响应号召绿色出行,好吧,我不开了,结果第二天……停车费就涨了！我一想车子停在那里太贵了啊,实在停不起了啊,于是我又开始开车了,结果第三天……油价涨了！到了最后,以我微末的数学能力实在是算不清楚,车到底是停在那里便宜还是开起来便宜了！” The audience laughter is unceasing, this saying has also aroused everybody's resonance, immediately has given the applause! 观众笑声不断,这话也引起了大家的共鸣,立刻给了掌声！ Zhang Ye sighed angrily said: „Does Beijing have the labor body you to know?” 张烨叹气道:“京城有个工体你们知道吧？” „Knows!” “知道！” „Has heard!” “听说过！” The audiences responded. 观众回应道。 The Zhang Ye expression pain said: „Is a stadium, inside holds the sports match frequently, I am a fan, but since the oil price rises to today's this situation, I again have not gone to the labor body to watch the ball game, um, because actually the parking fee is too expensive or does not have the place to stop, is mainly I drives, that tens of thousands people of stadium in shouting ‚keep it up keep it up keep it up’, Hello, you do not know, my this heart!” He covers the chest to do to suppress gaseity. This piece current event hanging up, moreover two days news! 张烨表情痛苦道:“就是一个体育场,里面经常举办球赛,我是一个球迷啊,可自从油价涨到今天这个地步,我就再也没去工体看过球了,嗯,倒不是因为停车费太贵或者没地方停车啊,主要是我一开车过去,那好几万人的体育场都在喊‘加油加油加油’,哎呦喂,你们是不知道,我这个心啊！”他捂着胸口做憋气状。这个段子又把时事给挂上了,而且还是这两天的新闻！ King Hero claps to exclaim over! 王雄拍手叫绝！ Member Feng Guiqin cannot bear cover the mouth to smile. 一把手冯桂琴也忍不住掩嘴而笑。 The Zhang Ye principle takes care of the western-style clothing, after gasping for breath slightly, said: „Lives is not being easy, daily has the painful event, spoke of watches the ball game, spoke of the soccer, I have thought yesterday has read a news of gambling ball, heard that the soccer world involved to investigate, did everybody also know this matter?” 张烨理了理西装,略微喘了口气后道:“活着不容易啊,天天都有伤心事,说到看球,说到足球,我想到了昨天看过一个赌球的新闻,听说足坛已经介入调查了,大家也都知道这件事吧？” „Ehm!” “嗯啊！” „Heard!” “听说了！” The audiences nod. 观众都点头。 Zhang Ye said: „These years, bet the ball not to ban repeatedly fresh, had the trend of more and more being in flood, not only the rich man bets the ball, the player also started to bet the ball.” Saying, him was saying mystically in a low voice: „Here has an inside information, cannot others tell that um, naturally the television let out I not to have the means.” 张烨说道:“这些年,赌球屡禁不鲜,已经有越来越泛滥的趋势了,不但有钱人赌球,球员也开始赌球了。”说着,他神秘地低声道:“我这里有一个内部消息啊,是不能跟别人说的,嗯,当然电视放出去了我也没办法了。” The people smile! 众人都笑！ Only listens to Zhang Ye saying: „Said the Domestic league tournament to have a team, absurdly to what situation? In the field 11 people play soccer, four people are betting the ball, is a team, has almost the young 50% people to participate to bet the ball, moreover is buys the one's own team to lose, hey, you think that looked what suspense this also does have? Certainly loses, we member four people buy the one's own team to lose, finally finally...... Has not lost!” 只听张烨道:“说国内联赛当中有一支球队,荒唐到什么地步？场上11个人踢球,四个人都在赌球,就是一只队伍,几乎有小一半的人都参与赌球,而且是买自己的队伍输,嘿,你想想看这还有什么悬念啊？一定输的,本方队员四个人买自己球队输,结果最后……还没输掉！” „Ha?” “哈？” „?” “啊？” Everybody looks at Zhang Ye on stage puzzled. 大家不解地看着台上的张烨。 Zhang Ye has pounded the mouth, said: „Because of the opposite party team...... Eight people also bought their one's own to lose!” 张烨砸了砸嘴,道:“因为对方球队……有八个人也买了他们自己输！” As soon as the people listen, laughs boisterously, „Hahahaha!” 众人一听,哄然大笑,“哈哈哈哈！” Several female audiences wipe the eye with the paper napkin, smiled tears to come! 有几个女观众拿餐巾纸擦眼睛,都笑出眼泪来了！ This is Zhou Libo «Mr. Zhou Live Show» piece, but Zhang Ye modified. Zhang Ye summarized: „Therefore the present situation of China soccer, basically can make the following description now: Soccer association flickering club this called the management, club flickering player this to call the operation, player flickering soccer this called the individuality, the soccer association club and player flickering fan then calls the China soccer together!” 这是周立波《壹周立波秀》的段子,不过张烨改动了一些。张烨总结道:“所以现在中国足球的现状,基本上可以做如下描述:足协忽悠俱乐部这叫管理,俱乐部忽悠球员这叫运营,球员忽悠足球这叫个性,足协俱乐部和球员一起忽悠球迷这才叫中国足球！” These words have the connotation very much. 这段话很有内涵。 Some people tasted to understand, immediately feared the hand applauded, „said well!” 有些人回味了一下才懂,立刻怕起手叫好,“说得好！” Held the sound for a long time! 掌声响了好久！ Feng Guiqin at present one bright! 冯桂琴眼前一亮！ Another leader of King Hero and his side is also! 王雄和他身边的另一个领导也是！ They think that Zhang Ye is only some does the joke piece of transition, after has not thought unexpectedly carefully one, can have the so flavorful thing! 他们以为张烨只是一些搞转折的笑话段子,没想到竟然细细一品后,也能有如此有滋有味的东西！ Zhang Ye estimates this chapter of number of words...... It is estimated that time was similar, access road: „Said that recent news, we said the weather again, the day is more and more cold, the annual spring festival transportation should shortly come quickly by the end of the year, believes that undergoes the spring festival transportation to test the comrades to have profound understanding, last year, probably was around new year's celebration the time, some province had an especially big murder case, suspect at-large, the local public security chief accepted the reporter interviewed said firmly ‚our investigation department concluded the suspect could not escape from our province surely’, Several Days Later, the suspect has been caught, a reporter asked that his why these many days had not run away, suspect crack cursed ‚you thought the father not. To run! Father his mother arranged three days of teams not to buy ticket’ only to commemorate these at the train station to snatch the train ticket with this piece in the spring festival transportation Hero...... Naturally, I have not needed to snatch the ticket, person who I such have the status, that is takes plane!” 张烨估计这章字数……估计时间差不多了,便道:“说完了近期的新闻,咱们再来说说天气,天是越来越冷,眼看快到年底了,一年一度的春运又该来了,相信经受过春运考验同志们都应该深有体会,去年吧,大概是过年前后的这段时间,某省发生了一起特大凶杀案,嫌犯在逃,当地公安局长接受记者采访的时候坚定地说‘我们侦查部门料定嫌犯定逃不出我省’,果然,几天后,嫌犯落网了,一个记者问他为什么这么多天了还不逃走,嫌犯不禁破口大骂‘你以为老子不。想跑啊！老子他妈在火车站排了三天的队都没买到票’仅以此段子纪念那些在春运中抢到火车票的英雄们……当然了,我是不需要抢票的,我这么有身份的人,那都是坐飞机的！” „yi!” “咿！” „yi!” “咿！” „Blows!” “吹吧！” The people Ha Ha create a disturbance! 众人哈哈起哄！ Zhang Ye bows slightly, „was good, today's «Zhang Ye's Talkshow» had finished to here, I am your Host Zhang Ye, wishing everybody weekend happy!”( 张烨微微鞠躬,“好了,今天的《张烨脱口秀》就到这里结束了,我是你们的主持人张烨,祝大家周末愉快！”( …… ……