HA :: Volume #5

#434: The Door of the Past fourth 3-4 festival best winter

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„Taotao looks is very lovable......” “淘淘长得很可爱……” In early morning breakfast shop, Lingjing and Yahan sat, before was to kiss such as sisters' good friend, but this time really somewhat had mixed feelings. Yahan knows oneself should pursue, however pursued later to say anything, she has thought four years, completely did not have the clue, to afterward, Lingjing first opens the mouth. 清晨的早餐店里,灵静与雅涵坐了下来,以前是亲如姐妹的好朋友,但此时的心情就实在有些复杂。雅涵知道自己应该追出来,然而追出来之后该说些什么,她已经想了四年,却全然没有头绪,到得后来,还是灵静首先开了口。 „I also think you came back recently.” Yahan smiles reluctantly, she just now one runs, the silk stockings on foot had broken, at this time put on high heels, puts out a hand to stroke the place of calf, „Jiaming he...... Jiaming he......” “我本来也想到你是最近回来。”雅涵勉强一笑,她方才一番快跑,脚上的丝袜已经破了,此时穿上了高跟,伸手抚摸着小腿的地方,“家明他……家明他……” She said continuously several times, cannot say, Lingjing nods: „Is Jiaming child?” 她连续说了几次,没能说下去,灵静点了点头:“是家明的孩书？” Yahan silent moment: „That year that you and Shasha leave...... I wanted him to leave my child, at that time what to do I...... did not know should, anything could not do......” 雅涵沉默片刻:“你和沙沙离开的那一年……我要他留给我一个孩书,我当时……不知道该怎么办,什么都做不了……” Celebrated the 29 th birthday, has child, for these years was also maintaining capable woman stance Yahan at the company, when recalls these matters again, in the eye did not control self to flash the tears, these years calmness because of Taotao, did not represent moved in heart to forget. In the time of speech, had been served to stir up trouble earlier, Lingjing lets the own sound diligently normally: „He how......” 过了29岁的生日,已经有了一个孩书,这几年在公司也都保持着女强人姿态的雅涵,再度回忆起那些事时,眼中还是不自禁地闪起了泪光,这几年的心平气和是因为淘淘,并不代表心中的伤感可以被忘记。说话的时间里,早点已经被服务生端了上来,灵静努力让自己的声音正常一点:“他到底怎么了啊……” „Should look at his medical history sheet......” “应该看过他的病历表了吧……” „I do not believe......” Lingjing to purse the lips, „made that is like the soap opera, how...... how possibly to live what brain tumor......” „, but is really the brain tumor......” Yahan said in a soft voice, „I drew him to go to hospitals several times, each place diagnosis was the same. He is not willing to be hospitalized, in final that several months he has been very painful, the pain to the degree that he cannot bear, I looked at...... me to look wished one could dead......” “我不信……”灵静抿了抿嘴,“弄得跟肥皂剧一样,怎么……怎么可能生什么脑瘤……”“但真的是脑瘤啊……”雅涵轻声说道,“我拉他去了好几次的医院,每一次地诊断结果都一样。他不愿意住院,最后的那几个月里他一直很痛,痛到他都受不了的程度,我看了……我看了恨不得死了……” Lingjing sits there, even/including stretch/open several mouths, somewhat could not make the sound: „Sister Yahan you are...... you are visit him......” 灵静坐在那儿,连张了几次嘴,有些发不出声音:“雅涵姐你是……你是看着他……” „It is not...... he in February/two months many times walked.” Yahan puts out a hand to support the forehead, „just celebrated the new year. February 4 the spring beginning, will still be snowing next evening, I do not know when he walked, but front several days had the sign probably, he does not want to make me see...... him is too painful......” “不是……他二月多的时候走了。”雅涵伸手撑住额头,“刚刚过完年。二月 4 号立春,第二天晚上还在下雪,我不知道他什么时候走的,不过前面几天就大概有迹象了,他不想让我看见……他太痛了啊……” „Blade cut in the hand has not felt. Is only the pain, he has wanted to endure to see...... not on the hospital, the pain-killer is also useless, you know that his character...... I even asked the friend to buy the heroin, but he did not want...... to think was unfair to you and Shasha......” “刀砍在手上都没感觉了。就只是痛,他一直想忍着不让人看到……不上医院,止痛药也没有用,你知道他的性格……我甚至托朋友买了海洛因,可他不要……一直觉得对不起你和沙沙……” „I make him at least write to you, said these things to you, but sometimes he could not write...... to crawl in the evening, seeing him to sit in the window writes thing. Wrote several characters to throw, afterward I picked up secretly, the opening told you sorry, but behind to you explained that could not write several words, he felt the standpoint that probably...... has not apologized, thought how probably to apologize again does not have the means to make up for your reason......” “我让他至少写封信给你,跟你说这些事情,可他写不出来……有时候晚上爬起来了,看见他坐在窗户边写东西。写几个字就扔了,后来我偷偷捡起来看,开头都是跟你说对不起,可后面跟你解释都写不了几句话,他大概是觉得……没有道歉的立场,大概觉得再怎么道歉也没办法弥补你地原因……” „But I hope that you can forgive him......” “可我希望你能原谅他……” „How to forgive him......” Lingjing to lower the head dead to support, „where I do not know him, comes to talk clearly the words to me in front of......” “怎么原谅他……”灵静低下头死撑着,“我都不知道他在哪里,到我面前来把话说清楚啊……” Outside front door crowded. In this shop the person is not. But Lingjing and Yahan makings and appearance are extremely outstanding, if carefully looked, can see that not few unintentional the look that shoots a look at toward here. Yahan gripped the palm of Lingjing, has not spoken with enough time, a wear suit, seemed like the man of big company staff member to depend toward here: „Two need to help...... me not have the evil intention......” 大门外人来人往。这间店里人算不上非常多。但灵静和雅涵的气质和容貌都太过出众,如果仔细看,还是能够看到不少有意无意朝这边瞥过来的眼神。雅涵握住了灵静的手掌,还没来得及说话,一个穿着西装,看起来是大公司职员的男人朝这边靠了过来:“两位需要帮忙吗……我没有恶意……” In the Yahan eye the also has tears, lifted the vision to look at this man at this time, said one lightly: „Thanks.” After several seconds of silence, that person is defeated in the Yahan vision. Beckoning with the hand of: „Was sorry that......” drew back hastily. 雅涵地眼中还有泪水,这时抬起了目光望着这个男人,淡淡地说了一句:“谢谢。”几秒钟的沉默后,那人在雅涵的目光中败下阵来。摆了摆手:“抱歉……”连忙退开了。 „Sister Yahan......” “雅涵姐……” „Actually is I have been unfair to you and Shasha. What he most likes is you, most loves dearly you......” “其实是我一直对不起你和沙沙。他最喜欢的是你们,也最心疼你们……” „But he lived Taotao with you.” “可他跟你生了淘淘。” „I asked him. He complied with......” the Yahan silent moment, „his world outlook is very different from the average person, he regards me is a friend, I like him, he complied, he regards as important to his good person, what does not hate to injure...... may he most care is you......” “我求他。他就答应了……”雅涵沉默片刻,“他的世界观跟一般人很不同,他把我当成是朋友,我喜欢他,他就答应了,他看重对他好的人,舍不得伤害……可他最在意的是你们……” „I also know that why I do not know him to be able this appearance, but I know that I in the Vienna four years, want to understand gradually......, but what's the big deal, I was only an ordinary woman......” Lingjing cried, „I only want with him in the same place, no matter when only wants to accompany him, even had the incurable illness I at least still to visit him, I also want to live child to him, rather than anything was kept in the dark to be thrown Vienna to hate his four years, when came back to make him compensate me to finish can only look that his tomb cried...... I not to want. Cries...... to be possible I not to have then strongly......” “我也知道啊,我都不知道他为什么会这样书,可我知道的,我在维也纳地四年,就渐渐想明白了……但那又怎么样,我只是个普通的女人……”灵静哭了起来,“我只想跟他在一起,不管什么时候都只想陪着他,就算是得了绝症我至少也想看着他,我也想给他生孩书,而不是什么都被蒙在鼓里被扔去维也纳恨他四年等到回来要让他补偿我了却只能看着他的坟墓哭……我不想哭……可我没那么强的……” „He is afraid you to see his helpless appearance......” “他害怕你看到他无能为力的样书……” „indeed, he is a coward......” Lingjing wipes to shed tears, sound gentle vast is inaudible, „Sister Yahan, can...... you finally with him at that time matter...... say that listens together to me?” “是啊,他是个懦夫……”灵静揩掉眼泪,声音轻柔渺不可闻,“雅涵姐,可以把……你最后跟他在一起那段时间的事情……说给我听吗？” „Um.” Yahan nods, in the surface shows some smiling faces, „matter actually not many, he looked on the night of November 4 my, by February 5 , 1, just three months...... three months, in villa, altogether had/left seven gates simply, were towed to go to the hospital by me three times, as before, he watches the movie every day, watches the cartoon, occasionally with the computer internet, mainly looks at your news. Delivers you to leave he arranged the person to take care of you, then he can check some materials, you had been made the picture at Vienna something from the beginning......” “嗯。”雅涵点了点头,面上露出些许笑容,“事情其实不多,他十一月 4 号晚上来找我的,到1年二月 5 号,刚刚三个月的时间……简简单单地三个月,在别墅里,一共出了七次门,有三次是被我拖去医院,就像以前一样,他每天看电影,看漫画,偶尔用电脑上网,主要是看你地消息。送你离开的时候他安排了人照顾你,然后他能查到一些资料,你一开始在维也纳的一些事情都被人拍过照片……” Lingjing got hold of the fist, the Yahan racket her hand: „Still remembered your first year on that day of Vienna new year's celebration? You do not go home, some male students make your you not to go, he made one to deliver one bunch of roses to you, you confiscated, place the entrance...... he not to have the means that telephoned to subscribe the flower time, his head is very painful, that night he said that must cook, with the time sudden pain of blade, a blade cut probably, in own pointed on, he has not discovered unexpectedly......” 灵静握紧了拳头,雅涵拍拍她的手:“还记得你第一年在维也纳过年的那天吗？你不回家,有的男生来约你你也没去,他叫人送了一束玫瑰给你,你没收,放在门口了……他没办法啊,打电话订花的时候,他的头已经很痛了,那天晚上他说要煮菜,大概是用刀的时候突然痛起来了,一刀砍在自己手指上,他居然都没有发现……” She is opening mouth, good long time just now to put out the one breath: „His person...... since childhood is very weakly appearance, but the time does not give the person to see truly painful, reading time suddenly knits the brows, or when the body trembles suddenly, can discover a point probably, in November frequently was painful, was more frequent by December, I do not dare saying that has to go all out to draw him to go to the hospital, but the hospital inspection result was the same, he looked at these thing to be angry very much, although on the face smiled, but I could visit...... him not to be hospitalized, how my means he...... has not known reluctantly this/should reluctantly. He, the doctor said hopeless......” 她张着嘴,好半晌方才吐出一口气:“他那个人……从小就是一副很软弱地样书,可是真正痛地时候绝不给人看到,看书的时候突然皱眉啊,或者什么时候身体突然颤一下,才能大概发现一点,十一月就常常痛了,到了十二月就更加频繁,我不敢说,只好拼命拉着他去医院,但医院检查地结果都一样,他看了那些东西就很生气,脸上虽然还是笑,但我看得出来……他不肯住院,我也没办法勉强他……不知道该怎么勉强他,医生说没希望的……” „Sometimes his evening's pain awoke being able to fall asleep, looked that the beforehand picture...... I discovered several times, is pretends to be sleeping, does not know that he detected...... I probably am in early January on the bosom Taotao, checks industriously, mid January time knew, he has also been supporting at that time, new year's celebration time snows, I have not gone home to celebrate the new year, Hē, quarrels with my father for this matter, quarrels very fiercely, who knows less than several days, he left...... him really unable to support, does not want to be seen by others......” “有时候他晚上痛醒了睡不着,就看以前的照片……我发现了好几次,都是装睡,也不知道他有没有察觉……我大概是一月初怀上淘淘的,查得勤,一月中旬的时候就知道了,他那时候还一直撑着,过年的时候下了雪,我没有回家去过年,呵,为这件事跟我爸吵了一架,吵得很厉害,谁知道没过几天,他就离开了……他是真的撑不住了,不想让别人看到……” „I have not gone to look for him, without the means...... I must take care of the baby in good belly, the doctor said that this is the first embryo, I am sick, the body is bad, is easy to miscarry, makes some exercise training bodies, cries not to dare to cry, because will affect the child prenatal care......” only then, the tears dripped from the cheeks of Yahan finally, „like this to 2 years of time, Dongfang Lu looks, said that Jiaming died, gave back to him to construct a grave,...... you have looked outside the city?” “我没有去找他,没有办法……我还要照顾好肚书里的宝宝,医生说这是第一胎,我又有病的,身体差,容易流产,做些运动锻炼身体,连哭都不怎么敢哭,因为会影响到孩书的胎教……”直到此时,眼泪才终于从雅涵的脸颊上淌了下来,“就这样一直到零二年的时候,东方路找过来,说家明死了,还给他建了个墓,就在城外……你去看过了吗？” „I do not believe......” “我不信的……” „I did not believe him to find Jiaming......” Yahan saying that „you knew his, if he wants to leave sincerely, no one could find, so long as he can also come back, will certainly look......” “我也不信他能找到家明……”雅涵说道,“你知道他的,如果他真心想离开了,就谁也找不到,但只要他还能回来,就一定会找回来的……” Yahan shook her hand, she knows that this is in comfort in disguised form. 雅涵握了握她的手,她知道这是在变相的安慰。 „He ?” “等他,好吗？” Lingjing nods: „Sister Yahan...... sorry......” 灵静点点头:“雅涵姐……对不起……” „Is I have been unfair to you and Shasha...... I should regard Younger Sister the same as look you, but this matter......” she shakes the head, „how to turn into this, sorry......” “一直是我对不起你和沙沙……我本来该把你们当成妹妹一样看,可这件事情……”她摇摇头,“怎么会变成这样,对不起……” Two people came are the good friend of sentiment with sisters, in childhood altogether crossed the adversity, afterward had also been experiencing a lot together, although several years of time is dust-laden this sentiment, just now when sees Taotao in the heart also has is moved and sad, but to at this time, these thing had also been diluted gradually. That three months, she looks at Jiaming to withstand such pain, until is unable to endure step by step actually helplessly, until he leaves, can only place these things silently at heart, cries unable to cry, the pain in her heart withstanding, perhaps are not light. 两人本来便是情同姐妹的好朋友,小时候共过患难,后来也在一起经历过很多事情,虽然几年的时光将这段感情尘封起来,方才看见淘淘时心中也有过伤感与悲戚,但到得此时,这些东西也已经被渐渐冲淡了。那三个月的时间里,她看着家明承受着那样的痛楚,一步步直到无法忍受却无能为力,直到他离开,都只能将这些事情默默地放在心里,连哭都不能哭,她心中所承受的痛,或许并不比自己轻。 In some sense, Jiaming, all did not appear not then to be important, the heart tied unties temporarily, two people transferred to other direction the topic, Lingjing for these years in the life of Vienna, for four years laborious, company that as well as joined recently and so on. Perhaps something did not say before the parents, only then in front of Yahan, she can say trivially, chatted that side Yahan probably, the Taotao matter, she already at the matter that in the family company went to work, two people had a breakfast reluctantly, the preparation went out. 某种意义上来说,家明不在了,一切也就显得不那么重要,心结暂时解开,两人将话题转往另外的方向,灵静这几年在维也纳的生活啊,四年来的辛苦啊,以及最近加入的公司之类。有些事情或许在父母面前都不好说,也只有在雅涵面前,她才能够琐琐碎碎地说出一些,大概聊到雅涵那边,淘淘的事情,她已经在家族公司里上班的事情,两人勉强吃了点早餐,准备出门。 „Can I look at Taotao?” “有空的时候我可以去看淘淘吗？” „So long as you deliver her the wave board sugar......” “只要你送她波板糖……” Lingjing smiles, suddenly grasped Yahan: „Sister Yahan, thank you accompanies in that three months side him......” 灵静笑了笑,忽然抱住了雅涵:“雅涵姐,谢谢你在那三个月里陪在他身边……” „I did not look after his...... the Yahan tears to fall for whom”, „ that was my generation of book best three “我不是为了谁而照顾他的……”雅涵的眼泪又掉下来了,“那是我这辈书最好的三个
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