SYITHW :: Volume #2 有时凌乱

#402 Part 2: Being a mass of cuts and bruises

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, Li Qiu continued saying: „Jing'er, for the master initially after you separated, most starts some time was busy for the master, has no time to care about you, the following each month had the correspondence to communicate, in correspondence that since you mailed, from the beginning your performance was very good, but yourself discovered not to have, your moral character, gradually already and once you were very different, particularly recently, your performance made for the master very disappointed!” 顿了一下,李秋继续道:“景儿,为师当初和你分开后,最开始的一段时间为师忙,无暇顾及你,后续每个月都有书信来往,从你寄来的书信中,一开始你的表现还是很不错的,但你自己发现没有,你的品性,渐渐的已经和曾经的你相去甚远了,尤其是最近,你的表现让为师很失望！” Hears the master such severe words, Yun Jing sets out, kneels down in front of Li Qiu, the probably helpless child visits him saying: „Master, disciple also knows that own disposition had/left some problems, even somewhat is every so often confused, disappointing the master, disciple is extremely guilty, at the present also looks at the master to dispel doubt for disciple” 听到师父这么严厉的话,云景起身,跪倒在李秋面前,像是无助的孩子般看着他说:“师父,徒儿也知道自己的心性出了一些问题,很多时候甚至有些迷茫,让师父失望,徒儿万分愧疚,而今还望师父为徒儿解惑” Has not prevented the Yun Jing action, the Li Qiu severe expression not lax half a point, but looks at present wrong path lamb Yun Jing, the Li Qiu heart somewhat loves dearly, even somewhat is guilty, after all in key several years that Yun Jing grows, when oneself this master cannot teach in his side at times. 并未阻止云景的举动,李秋严厉的表情也不曾松懈半分,但看着眼前迷途羔羊般的云景,李秋心头还是有些心疼的,甚至还有些愧疚,毕竟在云景成长的关键几年,自己这个当师父的没能在他身边时时教导。 Looks at present Yun Jing, Li Qiu said: „Jing'er, you have grown up now, when for the master said that you let I am disappointed, I also think you can not be convinced to contradict for the master, you can be so confident, is very gratified for the master, however your moral character has problems is actually fact” 看着眼前的云景,李秋说:“景儿,你如今已经长大,当为师说你让我失望的时候,原本我还以为你会不服气顶撞为师,你能如此坦然,为师心里很欣慰,然你品性出了问题却是事实” „Now, was master first said that your issue, asked you for the master, whether you study away from home after this year, did the innermost feelings gradually feel confused?” “现在,为师先说说你的问题吧,为师问你,你是否是在今年游学之后,内心才逐渐感到迷茫的？” Thinks carefully, the Yun Jing nod said: „Is the master, before disciple has not gone out of the life the place, does not have the present worry and confusedness” 仔细想了想,云景点头道:“是的师父,徒儿未曾走出生活的地方之前,并没有如今的烦恼和迷茫” „This was right, the issue leaves after you study away from home the experience, our people live in this world, will not stay in a place for a lifetime, must always walk, experiences the different people, the different stories, have seen, experienced, these things, will change themselves little, some people toward good direction change, some people actually toward bad direction change, but you, Jing'er, your change, is increasingly estranged in not the good direction, is lucky you not to lose to take the evil ways thoroughly, now has not calculated that does not have the medicine to rescue.” “这就对了,问题就出在你游学后的经历,我们人活在这世上,不会在一个地方呆一辈子,总是要走出去,经历不同的人,不同的故事,见过了,经历了,那些事情,就会一点点改变自己,有些人是往好的方向改变,有些人却是在往坏的方向改变,而你,景儿,你的改变,却是在往不好的方向渐行渐远,万幸你还没有彻底迷失自己走上邪路,如今还不算无药可救” At this point, Li Qiu one continued saying: „Why then analyzes you to turn into now this for the master little, you will be I look to grow up, I knew about you very much, since you will give in my correspondence, I can see your change” 说到这里,李秋顿了一下继续道:“接下来为师一点点剖析你为何会变成如今这样,你是我看着长大的,我对你很了解,从你给我的书信中,我就能看出你的变化” „You feel for the first time truly confused, is your disposition changes the maximum time, in Red Forest District? At that time your understanding female wandering about destitute brothel” “你第一次真正感到迷茫,也是你心性变化最大的时候,是不是在红林县？那时你一个认识的女子流落青楼” „Is master, at that time disciple was very confused, even is helpless”, the Yun Jing frank said. “是的师父,那时徒儿很迷茫,甚至是不知所措”,云景坦言道。 Nods, Li Qiu said: „After that time, your character became makes for the master disappointed, that time you want to see somebody in danger and do nothing? Behind rescued, but incurable thorough, inner conflicts, thus causes the character to change is very big” 点点头,李秋说:“从那次之后,你的性格就变得让为师失望了,那次你本来是想见死不救的吧？后面又救了,但没救彻底,内心矛盾,从而导致性格变化很大” „Un, Master, that I am very contradictory......” “嗯,师父,那次我内心很矛盾……” Does not need Yun Jing to speak the words, Li Qiu breaks his sinking sound said: „Why will you feel the contradiction? A others pure female, the person who you know, the wandering about destitute travel fatigue, do you baffle should not do utmost to save him to be separated from the fiery pit? Is you do not have the ability to rescue? You feared others do depend on you? How once to teach for the master your, does good hesitant you unexpectedly also? After fearing to rescue , do you become in the mouth the so-called softy? Does good does good, when does good obviously instead thought that lost face? Softies? In your mouth so-called Holy Mother? Big of slippery world checks, after the master had not heard does good instead was ridiculed, the will of the people do the multi- distortions such think? Yes, your behind saved her to be separated from the fiery pit, but you look what matter before then helplessly others did hit the wall indifferently before you are? Turned around and helps others obtain the free body, has not left a good name, you thought that your such was very noble? Feels to blush for you for the masters, cannot believe that simply how to teach your such indecisive good-for-nothing fellow” 不待云景把话说完,李秋打断他沉声道:“你为何会觉得矛盾？人家一个清白女子,还是你认识的人,流落风尘,你难倒不应该竭尽全力救他脱离火坑吗？是你没能力救？还是你怕人家赖上你？为师曾经是如何教导你的,做好事你居然还犹豫？怕救了之后你就成为了自己口中所谓的烂好人？做好事就是做好事,什么时候明明做了好事反而觉得丢脸了？烂好人？你口中所谓的圣母？滑天下之大稽,为师还未听说做了好事之后反而被嘲笑的,人心得多扭曲才会那样认为？是,你后面救了她脱离火坑,可在此之前你眼睁睁看着人家在你面前撞墙无动于衷算什么事儿？转身又让人家获得了自由身,还不留名,你觉得你那样很高尚吗？为师都为你感到脸红,简直不敢相信怎么教出你这么个优柔寡断不成器的家伙” Li Qiu fluctuates speaking of the final chest, was really angry, person, the apprentice endures compared with the son, disciple turns into such, he himself feels to blush. 李秋说到最后胸口起伏,是真的生气了,徒儿徒儿,徒弟堪比儿子啊,徒儿变成那样,他自己都觉得脸红。 Is dumbfounded facing master a series of interrogation Yun Jing, is much more ashamed. 面对师父这一连串的质问云景哑口无言,羞愧得无地自容。 ‚How at that time did oneself is think? Tang Wan sees the person who own this understanding, does not have the face to see the person as the female, then under is ashamed and resentful commits suicide, I had the compassion at that time, but actually thinks that the opposite party kidnaps in the morals, how I such think at that time, behind me helped her, but the feelings of bestowments, how I will actually turn into such, finally also ‚ why must my Yun Jing handled affairs with one to care about others view’ to pass own sugar stopper, right, I realized at that time own human nature is vanishing, but that was only floats in the surface, present master does not analyze such profound...... ’ ‘当时自己是怎么想的？唐婉看到自己这个认识的人,作为女子没脸见人,然后羞愤之下寻短见,我当时有恻隐之心,但却认为对方是在道德绑架,我当时怎么会那样想,我后面是帮了她,但却有一种施舍的感觉,我怎么会变成那样,最后还用一句‘我云景行事何须在意他人看法’就把自己糖塞过去了,对了,我当时意识到自己人性在消失,可那只是浮于表面,没有现在师父剖析的这么深刻……’ The intention twinkle, thinks of these, the Yun Jing forehead cold sweat is billowing. 心念闪烁,想到这些,云景额头冷汗滚滚。 The Li Qiu words have not stopped, continue saying: „You knew perfectly well that others were kidnapped and sold by the slave trader, why not to clutch the solution the slave trader? What doing the matter makes half is? That half of especially making also indecently!” 李秋的话并未停止,继续道:“你明知人家是被人贩子拐卖的,何不将人贩子揪出来解决了呢？做事儿做一半算什么？尤其做的那一半还那么不堪入目！” Yun Jing ashamed lowering the head, does not dare to go to face the vision of master. 云景羞愧的低下了头,不敢去面对师父的目光。 Did not have the face to see the person. 太没脸见人了。 What also owes is the master, closes to educate itself, has lost elsewhere, ‚skeleton in closet’ has not spread. 也亏的是自家师父,关起门来教育自己,丢脸没丢到别处,‘家丑’没有外扬。 If the master does not care about himself truly, how also do best to convince to so educate itself? 如果师父不是真正的在意自己,又怎会如此苦口婆心的教育自己？ Li Qiu sees Yun Jing this time attitude, the innermost feelings nods secretly, the heart said that also calculates to be saved, the drinking tea water, along the tone, continued saying: „One side this matter first puts, then I said again you and things of two imperial prince Xia Tao understanding, he wants to become friends with you, are you guarding against him everywhere? Thinks that what others do have to attempt to you? Yeah, yourself do not think, others what status, do attempt your what? Others thought you are worth becoming friends with will be close to you, if you are the waste, thinks that others will look at your one eyes? Don't you have to guard against the opposite party self-confidently? Cannot self-confident, does the heart let loose? The incompetent person of talent will be guarding against others everywhere, the truly self-confident person, becomes friends with regarding any sincerity fearlessly, with for the master, never intertwines in any to look the person who cross-eye becomes friends with, if disadvantageous to me, is the method deals from some, if cannot open the heart from the beginning, is overcautious and indecisive, how to hand over the true friend? From the beginning feared that what others attempt your, even if attempts, he did attempt? When others truly do have the time choice of chart is not again good?” 李秋见云景此时的态度,内心暗自点头,心说还算有救,喝了口茶水,顺了口气,继续道:“这件事情先放一边,接下来我再说说你和二皇子夏涛认识的事情,他想与你结交,你是否在处处防备着他？以为人家对你有什么企图？哎,你自己也不想想,人家什么身份,图你什么？人家是觉得你这个人值得结交才会接近你,若你是废物,以为人家会多看你一眼？你是多没有自信才会防着对方？就不能自信点,心胸放开点？无能之辈才会处处防着他人,真正自信之人,对于任何真心结交都无所畏惧,就拿为师来说,从不纠结与于任何看对眼的人结交,若要对我不利,自是有的是手段应对,若不能一开始就敞开心扉,瞻前顾后,何以交到真正的朋友？一开始就怕人家企图你什么,纵使有企图,他企图到了吗？待人家真正有所图的时候再抉择不行？” „Then, starts from two imperial prince Xia Tao, anybody who your behind becomes friends with, in fact you cannot let loose the heart thoroughly, not wholehearted to others, you are the mind is to put it bluntly small, I...... teach your such narrow-minded apprentice, really wants to punch your” “然后啊,从二皇子夏涛开始,你后面结交的任何人,实际上你都没能彻底放开心扉,未曾真心实意的对人家,说白了你就是心眼小,我……教出你这么个小心眼的徒弟,真想揍你一顿” „Un, then, about enemy spy that matter......, that matter you do well, uncovered a malignant tumor, I was not many say” “嗯,接下来,关于敌国细作那件事情……,那件事情你干得不错,揪出了一个毒瘤,我就不多说了” ...... …… A Li Qiu each article analyzes the experience that his influence mentalities change to Yun Jing, each experience ripped open the Yun Jing fig leaf directly, carries ‚flogging a corpse’ his shameful mentalities. 李秋一桩桩一件件的给云景剖析他那些影响心态变化的经历,每一次经历都直接撕开了云景的遮羞布,把他那些见不得人的心态拎出来‘鞭尸’。 When Master, Li Qiu very clear Yun Jing, he is not weak, the psychological bearing capacity is not bad, based on this, the Yun Jing character has turned now like this, if under the material, does not continue again, in the future will unable to break off again. 当师父的,李秋很清楚云景,他没有那么软弱,心理承受能力没有那么差,基于这点,如今云景性格已经变成这样了,若不下猛料,再继续下去,将来就再也掰不回来了。 Was saying was saying said Sitong Town here. 说着说着就说道了四通镇这里。 Li Qiu points at the nose of Yun Jing saying: „Jing'er, in Sitong Town there, for the master most disappointed time, facing the enemy army, you had the ability to solve the complete enemy at that time? Do not deny, from your letter/believes, for the master knows you had retained at that time, however wondered for the master, you are capable of solving the enemy obviously, why doesn't try? If you go all-out, at that time will also die so many people? How did you suppress under the heart helplessly to look under the compatriot dying a tragic death enemy blade of? Without the ability is a matter, why is capable of not using? Otherwise what do you make with these abilities? Attractive? Also does not see you to demonstrate that looks to others” 李秋指着云景的鼻子道:“景儿啊,在四通镇那里,才是为师最为失望的时候,面对敌国军队,那时你有能力将全部敌人解决吧？别否认,从你的信中,为师知道你当时有所保留,然而为师就纳了闷了,你明明有能力解决敌人,为什么不尽全力？如果你尽全力的话,当时还会死那么多人吗？你怎么就狠得下心眼睁睁的看着同胞惨死敌人刀下？没能力是一回事,有能力为什么不用？否则你拿那些能力来做什么？好看吗？也不见你展示给别人看啊” „Do not deny that you are selfish, finds the multi- excuses to be again useless to oneself, others wish one could the long eight hands to kill several enemies in the battlefield, but you actually ignominious does not try, do you blush, is ashamed, to me do not say that what does not want to work as the softy, when Holy Mother, that gave a pretext, the softy and Holy Mother these two words were you tell me, your ratio was the master is clearer their meanings, may in the battlefield, be considered these time?” “别否认了,你就是自私,给自己找再多理由都没用,人家在战场上恨不得长八只手多杀几个敌人,而你却可耻的不尽全力,你脸红不脸红,羞愧不羞愧,别给我说什么不想当烂好人当圣母,那都是借口,烂好人和圣母这两个词还是你告诉我的,你比为师更明白他们的含义,可在战场上,是考虑那些的时候吗？” „With this Setting Sun City battlefield, wants able for the master, wishes one could to overrun the person great river to hack to death completely, afterward the opposite party must retaliate is also good to assassinate, what fearing has, but I do not have that ability, can only do everything possible to win this war, looks at the innumerable officers dying a tragic death battlefield, at that time didn't you in Sitong Town, why unshackle? Was too disappointed for the master” “就拿这斜阳城战场来说,为师要有能力,恨不得冲过去把大江的人全部都砍死,事后对方要报复也好暗杀也罢,何惧之有,可我没那个能力啊,只能想方设法打赢这场战争,看着无数将士惨死战场,当时你在四通镇,为什么就不放开手脚呢？为师太失望了” Speaking of finally, Li Qiu looks at Yun Jing to sigh: „Jing'er, said so many for the master, but does wrongly accuse your? But is unjust for the master your? What you have to refute?” 说到最后,李秋看着云景叹息道:“景儿,为师说了这么多,可有一处错怪你的？可有一处是为师冤枉你的？你有什么要反驳的吗？” Ashamed lowering the head, was approved Yun Jing that is a mass of cuts and bruises saying: „Master, disciple had nothing to say in reply” 羞愧的低着头,被批得体无完肤的云景道:“师父,徒儿无言以对” „Now, understands where did own issue leave?” Li Qiu shakes the head to say. “现在,明白自己问题出在什么地方了吗？”李秋摇摇头道。 Raised the head, looks to Li Qiu, Yun Jing said: „Master, disciple understands where probably own issue left, disciple was overcautious and indecisive, indecisive......” 抬头,看向李秋,云景道:“师父,徒儿大概明白自身问题出在什么地方了,徒儿瞻前顾后,优柔寡断……” „No, you have not understood, you are insufficiently self-confident, you are narrow-minded, you are selfish, you......, your problem were too many”, Li Qiu breaks Yun Jing to expect too much to say. “不,你还没有明白,你是不够自信,你是心胸狭隘,你是自私,你……,你身上的毛病太多了”,李秋打断云景恨铁不成钢道。 Finally, he looks straight ahead the Yun Jing eyes, said one word at a time: „Summarizes, on a few words, Jing'er you have not let loose itself, lets loose oneself, lets loose the heart” 最后,他直视云景双眼,一字一顿道:“总结起来,就一句话,景儿你没有放开自己,把自己放开一点,把心放开” „Namely sees all living things, all living things sees you, you how to others, others how to you, when your mind flees the capital, what looks at others is, as everyone knows, in others eyes are you such?” “即见众生,众生见你,你如何对别人,别人就如何对你,当你的心灵蒙尘,看别人是什么样的,殊不知,别人眼中你又何尝不是那样？” ~! 咔嚓~！ Hears master these words, the Yun Jing mind seems to have delimited startling thunderclap, a suddenly seeing the light feeling arises spontaneously. 听到师父这句话,云景脑海仿佛划过一记惊雷,一种豁然开朗之感油然而生。 „Thank the master to dispel doubt for disciple, disciple understood”, the Yun Jing forehead touched the said/tunnel, was moved to tears inexplicably. “感谢师父为徒儿解惑,徒儿明白了”,云景额头触地道,莫名热泪盈眶。 Understood anything, Yun Jing know, oneself heart could not deceive itself. 明白了什么,云景自己知道,自己的心骗不了自己。 If not master bloody rips open own camouflage, Yun Jing does not know oneself also need to walk far on the wrong path, perhaps forever returned to the non- background. 如果不是师父这番血淋淋的话撕开自己的伪装,云景都不知道自己还需要在错误的道路上走多远,或许永远都回不来头了。 Felt Yun Jing change, Li Qiu smiled, incomparably happily smiled, set out, goes forward to support by the arm it, nods saying: „Understands well, before said that heavy words, hopes that do not complain is good for the master . Moreover, wants to understand is a matter, how to do truly is most important” 感受到云景身上的变化,李秋笑了,无比欣慰的笑了,起身,上前将其搀扶起来,点点头道:“明白就好,之前说那么重的话,希望你别埋怨为师才好,而且,想明白了是一回事,真正如何去做才是最重要的” ...... ……
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