„I called Sun Yi, nickname Loser Sun, did has licked the dog, when crossed the spare tire, although a life darkness, but the Heaven never seals off all exits, an accidental chance I joined the International Criminal Police department dutifully, becomes an honorable civilian personnel, grasped the thigh of country.” “我叫孙义,绰号孙屌丝,做过舔狗,当过备胎,虽然人生一片黑暗,但天无绝人之路,一次偶然的机会我义无反顾的加入了国际刑警部门,成为了一位光荣的文职人员,抱住了国家的大腿。” „The work that usually in does sounds very on big, for the national excavation talent, in fact procures, in the procuress with beforehand brothel has no distinction.” “平日里所做的工作听上去很高大上,为国家挖掘人才,实际上就是拉皮条,和以前青楼里的老鸨没什么分别。” „But my loser also has what is good to complain, I still take this as the honor, the talent of success excavation in my work personal history are not freely many, un, in addition should nearly three.” “但我一介屌丝又有什么好抱怨的呢,我依然以此为荣,尽管在我的工作履历上成功挖掘的人才不多,嗯,加起来应该快三个了吧。” „However now, I in matchmaking, quick 30 I have not been marrying to the present, the words this way I must consider that looked for a boyfriend.” “而现在,我正在相亲,已经快三十的我到现在还没有结婚,再这样下去的话我就要考虑一下找个男朋友了。” In a restaurant. 一间餐厅里。 A wear obsolete suit, appearance is clean, but poorly and pedantically the man sincere narrows the eyes looks at this youth to be possible at present matchmaking target of person. 一个穿着老旧西装,打扮的还算干净,但一副穷酸相的男子正色眯眯的看着眼前这个青春可人的相亲对象。 Is the opposite his thirty th matchmaking target? 对面是他第三十几个相亲对象？ Has forgotten, but are not related, this is a new start. 已经忘记了,不过没关系,这是一个新的开始。 „Jiajia, your name is really of pleasant to hear, later can I call you like this?” Sun Yi smiles to narrow the eyes to focus, with very gentle language gas channel/angrily said. “佳佳,你的名字真好听,以后我可以一直这样叫你么？”孙义笑眯着眼,用十分温柔的语气道。 Opposite that female named Jiajia is roughly 24 or 25-year-old, the appearance is beautiful, to somewhat beauty. 对面那个叫佳佳的女子约莫二十四五岁,打扮美艳,到有几分姿色。 Is gorgeous, making one suspect the work of this woman. 只是过于艳丽,让人不禁怀疑这个女人的工作。 „Not, only then my future husband can call me like this.” Hu Jiajia opens the mouth to say. “不可以,只有我未来的老公才能这样叫我。”胡佳佳开口道。 „Doesn't matter, if you don't mind, I am your husband, how you do look?” “没关系,如果不介意的话,我做你老公,你看怎么样？” Sun Yi very sincere saying: „Although I have no very big skill, but you believe me, I will certainly be good to you.” 孙义十分真诚的说道:“虽然我没什么很大的本事,但你相信我,我一定会对你好的。” „Met says this, was is not quite a little good?” Hu Jiajia said ; „We chat other, what for example you make?” “一见面就说这个,是不是有点不太好？”胡佳佳道;“我们还是聊聊别的吧,比如你是做什么的？” Sun Yi said: „Sorry, my work has very high secrecy, cannot say certainly, but I can divulge, the work that I do is not absolutely simple, to save the entire human race contributes a own strength, not only has boundless prospects, but also is very meaningful, later our child Sun Kang will certainly take me as the honor.” 孙义道:“抱歉,我的工作有很高的保密性,绝度不能说出去,但我可以透漏一点,我做的工作绝对不简单,是为了拯救全人类而贡献自己的一份力,不但前途无量,而且还很有意义,以后我们的孩子孙康一定会以我为荣的。” „Our children?” Hu Jiajia revealed the doubts. “我们的孩子？”胡佳佳露出了疑惑。 „Yes, if we married on October 1, all smooth next year will have the little darling, the boy called Sun Kang, wanting him to be healthy, the girl called Sun Li, like a jasmine, was beautiful.” Sun Yi said. “是啊,如果我们十月 1 号结婚的话,一切顺利明年就会有小宝宝了,男孩子叫孙康,希望他健健康康,女孩子就叫孙莉,像一朵茉莉花一样,多美啊。”孙义说道。 „......” Hu Jiajia looked that the mental illness same looks at this Sun Yi. “......”胡佳佳看神经病一样看着这个孙义。 This person is not the brain has the issue. 这这人不是脑子有问题吧。 Sun Yi also said: „You could rest assured that the child I will certainly educate, later makes him an honest and honorable policeman.” 孙义又道:“不过你放心,孩子我一定会教育好的,以后让他成为一位正直而又光荣的警察。” „Can that disclose you one year of income?” Hu Jiajia suppresses to ask disgustingly. “那能透露一下你一年的收入么？”胡佳佳强忍住恶心问道。 „Home background also has the security, but you can feel relieved, supports you, two children are not a problem absolutely, have me, as soon as stuttered, absolutely not hungry to you.” Sun Yi self-confident say/way. “家庭情况也是有保密的,不过你可以放心,养活你,还有两个孩子绝对不成问题,有我一口吃的,就绝对不饿到你们。”孙义自信满满道。 Hu Jiajia also said: „Right, you came before time is to drive?” 胡佳佳又道:“对了,你之前过来的时候是开什么车来的？” „ Drives? That is not good, I am the personnel of observing law and discipline, generally the car(riage) of unit, therefore I am ride the bicycle to come, said the unit, I think now, recently can the business run, goes to Dachang City, Jiajia you must go? I lead you to go to the Dachang City traveling, hears there “开车？那不行,我是遵纪守法的人员,一般不开单位的车,所以我是骑单车过来的,说道单位,我现在想起来了,最近有一笔业务要跑,去大昌市一趟,佳佳你也要去么？我带你去大昌市旅游,听说那里 The spicy hotpot is good, is low-cost, the flavor is also good, is I have not eaten, but my schoolmate of former elementary school has eaten. ” 的麻辣烫不错,价格便宜,味道又好,就是我没吃过,但我以前小学的同学吃过。” Then, Sun Yi somewhat swallowed the saliva. 说完,孙义又有些咽口水了。 Hears here, Hu Jiajia felt that the time was also up, she also said: „Sorry, I received a message a moment ago, now a little matter must leave, or did I first walk? Next time did we chat again?” 听到这里,胡佳佳感觉时间也差不多了,她又道:“对不起,我刚才收到了一条短信,现在有点事要离开一趟,要不我先走了？下次我们再聊？” „Eh? Jiajia you must walk, goes? Anxiously, or do I take the car(riage) to deliver you? My car(riage) stops outside.” Sun Yi is pointing at outside the shop a sharing single way. “额？佳佳你要走了,去哪？很急么,要不我拿车送你？我的车就停在外面。”孙义指着店外一辆共享单车道。 „No, does not use, I thought that you are not quite convenient.” “不,不用了,我看你不太方便。” Hu Jiajia takes up the package, immediately sets out, impatient wants to leave. 胡佳佳拿起包,立刻起身,迫不及待的想要离开。 Sun Yi also said: „Jiajia you are really intelligent, your reminded me to think, I came on the matchmaking road to drink half bottle of beer, was yesterday remains, later the liquor harnessed is not good, if were blocked certainly to be revoked the driver's license by the traffic police, my driver's license I hit one month of labor to make money to buy initially, cancelled was really a pity.” 孙义又道:“佳佳你真聪明,你这一提醒我才想起来了,我来相亲的路上喝了半瓶啤酒,是昨天剩的,待会儿酒驾就不好了,要是被交警拦下来了肯定是要被吊销驾照的,我驾照可是当初我打了一个月的工赚钱买的,吊销了实在是太可惜了。” „I hired a taxi to you, quick.” “我还是给你叫个出租车吧,很快的。” „Does not use, I will hire the taxi.” Hu Jiajia escapes hastily left, does not want many exchanges with this brain not normal person, the duty was also accomplished in any case. “不用了,我自己会叫出租车。”胡佳佳连忙逃似的离开了,不想和这个脑子不正常的人有过多的交流,反正任务也完成了。 Sun Yi saw that king Jiajia walked, somewhat sighs with emotion: „A girl of multi- sympathizing, makes the words of my girlfriend I certainly to make her feel the happiness.” 孙义见到王佳佳走了,有些感慨道:“多体贴的一个女孩子啊,做我女朋友的话我一定会让她感到幸福的。” Suddenly. 忽的。 The entire time, he felt that in the pants crotch trembles. 整个时候,他感到裤裆里一阵哆嗦。 Pulled out pulling out toward the crotch. 往胯下掏了掏。 He fished out a heavy/thick satellite positioning cell phone. 他摸出了一个厚重的卫星定位手机。 „Hey, is what I .....? Now goes to Dachang City, is not will go tomorrow, I am also on leave now, cancelled the leave? How this cancels is on leave the line, I take vacation of this day to come out specially matchmaking, now is eating meal, is not good, is not good, is not absolutely good, this is the principled issue, I can leave tomorrow.” “喂,是我.....什么？现在就去大昌市,不是明天才去么,我现在还在休假呢,取消休假了？这取消休假怎么行,我可是特意拿这一天的假期出来相亲的,现在正在吃饭,不行,不行,绝对不行,这是原则性的问题,我明天才能动身。” „? Next time introduced a Switchboard Operator younger sister to me? That was good, I drive to hurry to Dachang City now, but also please feel relieved, I guaranteed certainly completes the task.” “啊？下次给我介绍一个接线员妹子？那太好了,我现在就开车赶去大昌市,还请放心,我一定保证完成任务。” After Sun Yi hangs the power failure words, immediately the hurried preparation leaves. 孙义挂掉电话之后当即急急忙忙的准备离开。 „Mister, haven't you paid up?” A service person said. “先生,你还没有结账呢？”一个服务员道。 „How much money.” Sun Yi said. “多少钱。”孙义道。 „Altogether is 38,000.” The service people said. “一共是三万八。”服务员道。 Sun Yi opened the eye immediately, looks at one bottle of red wines on table, several plates of fruits: „This, how is this expensive/noble?” 孙义顿时睁大了眼睛,看着桌子上的一瓶红酒,几碟水果:“这,这怎么贵？” „In menu is such price, no mistake, the organic green superluxurious bright color fruit hors d'oeuvre is 8000, 82 years of imperial family that this bottle of foreign countries import supplies Larkey red wine especially is 30,000, altogether 38,000, this is not the service fee, but the viewer person the first time is, service fee boss avoiding.” “菜单上是这样的价格,没有错,有机绿色超豪华亮彩水果拼盘是八千,这瓶外国进口的八二年皇室特供拉基红酒是三万,一共三万八,这还不算服务费,不过看客人是第一次来,服务费老板给免除了。” The service people said. 服务员道。 Sun Yi swallows the saliva, touches the pocket. 孙义吞了吞口水,摸了摸口袋。 Several five hair , then 34 ten, completely wrinkled. 几张五毛,一块的,然后还有三四张十块的,全部都皱巴巴的。 Last takes, found one finally 100. 最后一把拿出来,总算是找到了一张一百的。 „Prepayment downpayment? Other mortgages slowly.” Sun Yi said. “先付个首付可以么？其他的按揭慢慢还可以么。”孙义道。 The service people said: „This does not permit, but here can provide several very high-quality network loans, be only a handling charge can receive a lot of money with ease, naturally, interest anything is also very cost-effective.” 服务员道:“这个是不允许的,不过我们这里可以提供几种非常优质的网络贷款,只有一点手续费就可以轻松的拿到不少的钱,当然,利息什么的也是非常划算的。” „You said like this I felt relieved, that hurries to handle for me.” Sun Yi said. “你这样说我就放心吧,那赶紧替我办理吧。”孙义道。 „This needs mister to operate, our shop only provides some directors.” The service people said. “这个需要先生自己操作,我们店只提供一些指导。”服务员道。 Sun Yi said ; „Does not have the issue.” 孙义道;“没问题。” When the service person directs Sun Yi downloads some software preparation net loans, the result is applying for time actually directly by system blacklisted, above demonstration credit is too low, is unable to apply. 当服务员指点孙义下载一些软件准备网罗贷款的时候,结果正在申请的时候却直接被系统拉黑了,上面显示信用过低,无法申请。 „Well, how can like this? Were you to loan before.” “咦,怎么会这样？你以前是不是贷款过。” „You said that this software, I use frequently, from the beginning is quite the convenience, will borrow to money, was not afterward good, will frequently call to scold me, I of air/Qi erased this.” Sun Yi said. “你说这个软件啊,我经常用啊,一开始是比较方便,一借就会给钱,后来就不行了,经常打电话骂我,气的我就把这删掉了。”孙义道。 „Such words that was extremely sorry, the mister also please collect the fund to pay up as soon as possible, if in the poor hand is not quite first convenient, can call the family member, the friend and so on, making them help borrow a money.” The service people said. “那样的话那就非常抱歉了,先生还请尽快凑齐资金结账,如果先生手中不太方便的话,可以打电话给家人,朋友之类的,让他们帮忙借点钱。”服务员道。 Sun Yi said ; „My telephone does not have the calling card, cannot telephone.” 孙义道;“我电话没有电话卡,打不了电话。” „Isn't your a cell phone?” The service people said. “你这不是手机么？”服务员道。 Sun Yi shakes the head saying: „This is not good, this is the satellite positioning cell phone, is the peculiar circumstance can use.” 孙义摇头道:“这不行,这是卫星定位手机,是特殊情况才能用的。” „Such words did not have the means that if the mister did not pay up, did not allow to leave.” The service people said. “那样的话就没办法了,如果先生不结账的话,是不允许离开的。”服务员道。 But at this time his satellite positioning cell phone actually loud. 可是这个时候他的卫星定位手机却又响了。 „Sun Yi, in the localization showed that you didn't have the sound in the hotel? Listened to be clear, within a half hour I must see you to go to the assigned location set, some people will send you to Dachang City, half double-hour could not see that the person you prepared to be punished.” “孙义,定位上显示你怎么还在饭店里没有动静？听清楚了,半个小时之内我要看见你在前往指定地点集合,会有人送你去大昌市的,半个时辰见不到人你准备受处分吧。” That side the telephone broadcast the Zhao Jianguo angry sound. 电话那边传来了赵建国的愤怒声音。 „Does eldest child, wait/etc, you have money? My this finished eating the board, you can first tie an account taking advantage of me, I will send wages also you next time.” “老大,等等,你有钱么？我这吃完饭钱不过,你可以借我先结个账么,我下次发了工资就还你。” „How many wants?” Zhao Jianguo presses is getting angry the quirk “要多少？”赵建国压着怒火道 „38,000.” Sun Yi said. “三万八。”孙义道。 Zhao Jianguo said: „Did you have food to eat 38,000? You did not say a moment ago you also in matchmaking, matchmaking one ate 38,000, you were deceived.” 赵建国道:“你吃一顿饭吃了三万八？刚才你不是说你还在相亲么,相亲一顿吃三万八,你是被骗了吧。” „No , Jiajia is not a good woman, will not deceive my.” “不,不会的,佳佳是个好女人,不会骗我的。” „I make the local police officer investigate, if no cheating, I will reimburse for you.” Zhao Jianguo felt that the own heart is quite tired. “我让当地警员调查,如果不存在诈骗,我会替你报销。”赵建国感觉自己的心好累。 Completely is some issue children. 全部都是一些问题儿童。 But these people have the average man the terrifying power that is inconceivable. 可是偏偏这些人却拥有常人难以想象的恐怖力量。