MLSIAI :: Volume #6

#511: Cannot forget, but must give up

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After journey Xiaoyu does not go to the school, on play about his rumor not only has not subsided, instead are getting more and more, but now is not lopsided was black, has white black, various views have. But whatever, without a doubt, journey Xiaoyu has become the play most to have the topical legendary character. 程晓羽不去学校之后,上戏关于他的传言不但未曾平息,反而越来越多,只是现在已经不是一面倒的黑了,有黑有白,各种说法都有。但无论怎么样,毫无疑问,程晓羽已经成为了上戏最具有话题性的传奇人物。 Actually also some countless people regretted that in secret initially had not maintained the relations with journey Xiaoyu, regarding study the student of music, can enter „on river” work is also very good choice. 其实也有无数人暗中懊悔当初没有和程晓羽搞好关系,对于学音乐的学生来说,能进入“上河”工作也是非常不错的选择。 Since Pei Yanchen clarifies in the cafeteria told others, after I liked journey Xiao the feather, her popularity fell much, many people think that Pei Yanchen has settled on journey Xiao the feather family/home to be authorized richly, therefore spared no effort showed good will to journey Xiaoyu repeatedly. 自从裴砚晨在食堂摆明的告诉别人,我就是喜欢程晓羽之后,她的人气又滑落了不少,好多人认为裴砚晨早就看中了程晓羽家里有权有钱,所以才不遗余力的一再向程晓羽示好的。 Pei Yanchen the income is now good, for oneself works, the roommate who also trims one's sails to these less seen the better, oneself went out to rent a room, like this she also facilitated to raise the stone. 裴砚晨现在收入不错,为了方便自己工作,也对那些见风使舵的室友眼不见为净,自己出去租了个房间,这样她也方便养着石头。 She had also looked that these slandered pale, without the popularity is just right for her intention, she can some indifferent harassment, Pei Yanchen few days ago continuously in hesitant, must go to „Germany Hanover Institute” to make the exchange to live, once made the exchange to live is only she flees the method of this unfortunate life, however now as if not once such intense hope and necessity. 她也早就看淡了这些污蔑,没人气正合她的心意,她可以少一些无所谓的骚扰,裴砚晨前些日子一直在犹豫,到底要不要去“德国汉诺威学院”做交换生,曾经做交换生只是她逃离这不幸生活的手段,然而如今似乎并没有曾经那样强烈的渴望和必要了。 Because there is journey Xiaoyu an indemnity, family's bookkeeping also paid off, but also changed the house, because is rich, the life of her mother and younger brother was also better, the stepfather does not have to continue to touch the porcelain, and cries to pledge to her since then will not go out to gamble, certainly for a lifetime will be good to her mother and younger brother. 因为有了程晓羽的赔款,家里的账务也还清了,还换了房子,因为有钱,她妈妈和弟弟的生活也好了很多,继父也没有在继续出去碰瓷,并且哭着对她发了誓,从此在也不会出去赌博,一定会一辈子对她妈妈和弟弟好。 Pei Yanchen still remembers after her body good, the stepfather and mother kneel before her, asking her do not say the scene of truth, is also holding her leg until her intelligence not tall younger brother, she felt like a knife twisting in the heart unable to comply with the police station to say the truth. 裴砚晨还记得她身体好了之后,继父和妈妈跪在她面前,求她不要说出真相的景象,直到她的智力不高的弟弟也抱着她的腿,她才心如刀绞答应不去警察局说出真相。 Pushes her matter regarding the stepfather, she does not care now has no intention or intends, she only hopes the happiness that mother and younger brother will live in the future is good. 对于继父推她的事情,她现在也不在意到底是无意还是有意,她只希望妈妈和弟弟将来生活的幸福就好。 Where as for obtained how much money from journey Xiao feather, his stepfather only told her a number, said that majority also gambling debt, purchases homes has been not much left with the car(riage), but must sees a doctor for her younger brother and mother, really did not have the means to give back to others. 至于从程晓羽家哪里得到了多少钱,他继父只告诉她了一个数字,说大部分都还了赌帐,买了房子和车已经所剩无几,还要替她弟弟和妈妈看病,实在没办法还给人家。 Pei Yanchen is helpless, can only rich including the medical service, remembers one after another very clearly, even the interest she presses the bank considers as finished, although does not know when will wait, but Pei Yanchen will certainly give back to him completely, her 10 cents are not willing to owe him. 裴砚晨无奈,只能将所有钱包括医疗费,一笔一笔都记得很清楚,甚至连利息她都按银行的算了进去,虽然不知道会等到什么时候,但裴砚晨一定会全部还给他,她一毛钱都不愿意欠他的。 Now she has a big fame internally, got up the spring to be late, obviously at this time went abroad is not a very good choice, her economical company urged her, the abroad study can go sooner or later, red how many years but can you be red? 如今她在国内已经有了不小的名气,又上了春晚,显然这个时候出国并不是一个很好的选择,她的经济公司都劝她,留学迟早能去,但你红能红几年？ Previous spring also has the effectiveness late, was inferior first to make money for these years, the consolidated reputation, the popularity slid when the time comes, is going out to study away from home, was most appropriate. 上春晚也是有时效性的,不如这几年先赚够了钱,巩固名声,到时候人气下滑的时候,在出去游学,才是最合适的。 Regarding this proposed that Pei Yanchen is very excited, because of some of her also anticipations, but she is not summer Shamo, she cannot put down oneself pride, or feels inferior. 对于这个提议裴砚晨原本是很心动的,因为她心里还有期待,可她不是夏纱沫,她放不下自己的骄傲,或者说是自卑。 journey Xiaoyu in reality makes her not be fully correct and unable to feel, said that world blurred, she has lost herself for him in such as the smoke world sea, but the smoke and fire that this world winds around always chokes her indeed not by the breath. 现实中的程晓羽让她猜不透、摸不着,都说世相迷离,她已经为他在如烟世海中丢失过了自己,而凡尘缭绕的烟火又总是呛得她不敢自由呼吸。 journey Xiaoyu is the other shore that she cannot arrive at forever, therefore she can only trade a direction to march forward, the sea of life is so vast, she thinks that see him next time, can be calm. 程晓羽是她永远到不了的彼岸,所以她只能换一个方向行进,人生的海洋如此辽阔,她想自己下一次见到他,能够平心静气。 For business developed her to lose too has studied and practiced the time of violin, this way, her music achievement also stopped. But Pei Yanchen does not want like this, she unable to be vanished before him by oneself however in the people, she must tell him, without you, my same line. 而且为了商演她已经失去了太多学习和练习小提琴的时间,这样下去,她的音乐成就也不过到此为止了。可裴砚晨并不想这样,她不能让自己在他面前泯然于众人,她也要告诉他,没有你,我一样行。 Pei Yanchen made the decision naturally not to hesitate, she wrote the requisition, decided that finished class „lives application to give the instructor exchange”. 裴砚晨做了决定自然就不会犹豫,她写好了申请书,决定下课就把“交换生申请”交给辅导员。 Pei Yanchen leaves the classroom time as before noticeable, looks Pei Yanchen is dispersing on the play symbolic walks like the waterfall long hair on the long and narrow corridor, on the play students mentality varies. 裴砚晨走出教室的时候依旧引人瞩目,看着裴砚晨散着上戏标志性的如瀑般的长发走在狭长的过道上,上戏学生们心态不一。 Although Pei Yanchen becomes famous, the last semester actually cannot obtain the scholarship, because the specialized result makes a mistake, only arranged at the grade fifth, this let want to do to exchange the fresh several study tyrants similarly as if to see bit of dawn, in the school flower of play name will follow reality to this was actually no longer hard to pursue the back that to feel weak attractively. 裴砚晨虽然出了名,上学期却没能获得奖学金,专业成绩因为失误,只排在了年级第五,这让同样想做交换生的几个学霸仿佛看到一丝曙光,不再对这个上戏实至名归的校花漂亮却难以追赶的背影感到无力。 Even these result arrange at Pei Yan early morning the front person, feels again diligently, in addition the luck, has possibly with her shoulder to shoulder. 甚至这些成绩排在裴砚晨前面的人,都觉得再努力,加上运气,不是没可能与她并肩。 But the innumerable female students ridiculed secretly she surrenders to journey Xiao the feather on own initiative, as if journey Xiaoyu had not appreciated kindness rendered. They forgot once satirized journey Xiaoyu to pursue Pei Yanchen is the toad wants to eat a day of goosemeat is also they, now they are also satirizing Pei Yanchen to be the green tea prostitute of rich and powerful family dream wholeheartedly. 而无数的女生则暗地里嘲笑她对程晓羽主动投怀送抱,似乎程晓羽并没有领情。她们忘记了曾经讽刺程晓羽追裴砚晨是癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉的也是她们,现在她们又在讽刺裴砚晨是一心做着豪门梦的绿茶婊。 These unrequited love for a long time male students mostly to beat the breast and stamp the feet to Pei Yanchen secretly, in the school of sweetheart for the dream spends the Sir to defend against injustice, feels journey Xiaoyu, even if has money to have the background, cannot be joined to the pride of play. 那些对裴砚晨暗恋已久的男生们大多偷偷捶胸顿足,替梦中情人的校花大人打抱不平,觉得程晓羽就算有钱有背景,也配不上上戏的骄傲。 Because Pei Yanchen from calling upon the gods standard, almost all big two classes and grades are noisy, but the male student who in the class that tastes the first taste finally wishes one could to run up to in front of the play only two-time champion school flower immediately, dispatched him to hide had two years of love letter. Although he also knows own talent and background cannot compare journey Xiaoyu, but he thought that oneself at least to Pei Yanchen is the sincerity, moreover he long is also charming, synthesizes, oneself fall short of the best to be better than the worst, after the result surpasses Pei Yan early morning, at least has the qualifications to horizontally view rather than looks up at this perfectly to the school flower that letting the person feels inferior, as for overlooking, he has not thought that he was extremely arrogant does not dare to lose this self-knowledge. 因为裴砚晨的自降神格,几乎所有大二的班级都沸沸扬扬,而班上那名终于尝到第一名滋味的男生恨不得立即就跑到上戏唯一两连冠的校花面前,递出他藏了有两年时间的情书。虽然他也知道自己才华、背景比不上程晓羽,但是他觉得自己至少对裴砚晨是真心的,而且他长也还算帅气,综合起来,自己比上不足比下有余,在成绩超过裴砚晨之后,起码有资格平视而不是仰视她这个完美到让人自惭形秽的校花,至于俯视,他从没想过,他再狂妄也不敢丢了这份自知之明。 He attended class absent-minded, is listening to flattering of diehards and enjoys the worship line of sight of surrounding female student, the thought is starting to inflate, starts to indulge in fantasy, perhaps oneself when Pei Yan early morning is most vulnerable can seize the opportunity to sneak in? 他上课的时候心不在焉,听着死党的吹捧和享受着周围女生的崇拜视线,思想开始膨胀,开始想入非非,说不定自己在裴砚晨最脆弱的时候就能乘虚而入呢？ A buddy instigated saying that in addition again you to the school flower did not vindicate at this time treated, he thought that was very reasonable, was eager to try, just saw that Pei Yanchen following instructor entered the office, his mind heat, with, waited for gains without pains on the corridor immediately, at this moment, he overlooked downstairs, self-confident, only thought that can look disdainfully all. 再加上一哥们怂恿说你此时不对校花表白更待何时,他觉得很有道理,跃跃欲试,刚好看到裴砚晨跟着辅导员走进办公室,他头脑一热,立即跟了出去,在走廊上守株待兔,这一刻,他俯瞰楼下,自信满满,只觉得可以睥睨一切。 In the office, teacher in charge Hu Chengjun considers Pei Yanchen mood, feared that she has the psychological burden, first pulled some superficial topics very much tactfully, after all Pei Yanchen and journey Xiaoyu take the topic character now, incessantly was the student, teachers in secret also conference theory. 在办公室,班主任胡成军照顾到裴砚晨的心情,怕她有心理负担,先是很有技巧地扯了一些不痛不痒的话题,毕竟裴砚晨和程晓羽如今做为话题人物,不止是学生,就连老师们私底下也会议论。 Received the exchange that Pei Yanchen handed over to live the requisition, Hu Chengjun frowns, after all at this moment was Pei Yan early morning the right red time, at this time happen to brushed the reputation, in the future graduated did not guarantee that the research, kept after school or goes to the big symphony orchestra more advantageous. Therefore went abroad to Pei Yanchen at this time is the unwisest choice. 接过裴砚晨递过来的交换生申请书,胡成军皱起了眉头,毕竟此刻算是裴砚晨正当红的时候,这个时候正好刷名声,将来毕业了不管保研、留校或者去大的交响乐团都更加有利。因此对裴砚晨来说这个时候出国是最不明智的选择。 Hu Chengjun thought it is necessary to do the ideological work with Pei Yanchen, after all she now was also on the signboard of play. He as far as possible sounds by oneself tone sincere. 胡成军觉得有必要跟裴砚晨做下思想工作,毕竟她现在也算是上戏的招牌了。他尽量让自己语气听上去诚恳一些。 Hu Chengjun is the typical still sea man, graduates on play work, in the past was also Yushu faces the wind the character of school grass rank on play, but the person the middle age has put on weight gradually, the stomach intestinal fat broke out day after day, the child also had reached adulthood, in Pei Yan early morning front, except for the female teacher, most men will maintain the most meticulous stance, appearance and dressing up like him strongly, obviously this school flower influence was easily accomplished. 胡成军是典型的尚海男人,毕业就在上戏工作,当年在上戏也是玉树临风般校草级别的人物,只是人过中年渐渐发福,肚腩日渐突起,孩子也老大不小,不过在裴砚晨面前,除了女性教师,大多数男人都像他一样会竭力维持最一丝不苟的姿态、容貌和装扮,可见这位校花的影响力是何等摧枯拉朽。 Hu Chengjun brings serious saying as far as possible: „Inkstone early morning, you applied to make the exchange to live, in qualifications does not have any issue, but you must consider to be clear, your went is more than one year, according to your present fame, actually you do not go abroad, development good many!” 胡成军尽量带着一丝严肃的说道:“砚晨,你申请做交换生,资历上没有任何问题,只是你得考虑清楚了,你这一去就是一年多,按你如今的名气,其实你不出国,发展会好的多啊！” Pei Yan early morning had pondered of this issue was too long, she felt, only then this can escape oneself more and more beyond control missing, she dangles to say slightly: „Teacher reckless, I thought that my result slid, was because cannot concentrate on the practice of violin, to make great strides forward to a higher level, I must sacrifice something, my present condition is a little impetuous, I think that I should cool itself appropriately.” 裴砚晨对于这个问题已经思考了太久了,她觉得只有这样才能逃开自己愈来愈无法控制的思念,她稍稍垂下头说道:“胡老师,我想好了,我这次成绩下滑,也是因为不能专注于小提琴的练习,为了向更高的水平迈进,我必须得牺牲一些东西,我现在的状态有点浮躁,我想我应该适当的冷却一下自己。” Hu Chengjun thought that this miss too idealized, consoles saying: „Occasionally a time has not displayed well is the routine matter, you do not need to castigate itself excessively, after all you want the last spring to be late, so many performances must go, diverting attention is also normal, the requisition I first accept, before the terminal examinations, you can take, oneself must consider carefully the clear success and failure, is making the decision.” 胡成军觉得这姑娘太理想化了,劝解道:“偶尔一次没有发挥好是常事,你不必过份的苛责自己,毕竟你又要上春晚,还有那么多演出要去,分心了也是正常,申请书我先收下,在期末考试之前,你都能拿回去,自己一定要仔细考虑清楚得失了,在做决定。” Pei Yanchen is on the rise, firm saying: „Teacher reckless, did not need to consider, I hope that you accept now, you also know, I in school was not very happy, I want to go abroad am best to choose to me, had if possible, my also area-wide student examination ‚Hanover Institute’ graduate student. As for came back is very difficult saying that also did not care about that reputation to anything that I brought, after all I had the pursue to the music boundary.” Actually what she thinks, these reputations are also journey Xiaoyu give, she does not need. 裴砚晨抬起头来,坚定的说道:“胡老师,不用考虑了,我希望您现在就收下,您也知道,我在学校里过的也不算很愉快,我想出国对我来说是最好的选择了,有可能的话,我也会考‘汉诺威学院’的研究生的。至于什么时候回来都很难说,也不在乎那点名声能给我带来的什么了,毕竟对音乐境界上我还是有追求的。”其实她心里想的是,那些名声也是程晓羽给的,她不需要。 Hu Chengjun sighed, does not know that should say the words that anything comforted were good, he had also understood the school flower situation, but saw Pei Yan early morning so in the situation so firm must go abroad , can only help her, he took in the requisition the drawer, said: „Good! The requisition I will submit to the school, your terminal examinations must refuel! The result and next semester result of this semester will become Hanover Institute to appraise you whether has the basis of application qualifications, in addition has German to take a test to want, this you also seriously treat.” 胡成军叹了口气,也不知道该说什么安慰的话语才好,对于校花的处境他也有所了解,但见裴砚晨这般情况下都如此坚决的要出国,也只能成全她,他将申请书收进抽屉里,说道:“那好吧！申请书我会递交给学院的,你期末考试就必须加油了！这学期的成绩和下学期的成绩将成为汉诺威学院评价你们是否有申请资格的依据,另外还有德文考试要过,这个你也得认真对待。” Pei Yanchen thinks of German, surges up at heart, journey Xiaoyu her, but is the cool color in the winter in dream, although recalls now, even that white icy cold day, that every day as if has sunlight that fills with the sea feel, in that zither | Jean room has sparkled each note is the moving luminous spot, that is hard to obliterate the trace cross lunar new year's eve, is the time entangles the chaotic mind, the drift swirls. But she knows that the person cannot live by the recollection, she had lost twice dignity, cannot lose again the third time, Pei Yanchen nods, does not bring saying of mood: „Teacher reckless, you could rest assured that the terminal examinations, I take certainly first.” 裴砚晨想到德文,又是心里波澜起伏,程晓羽于她而言,不过是冷色冬季里的一场梦,虽然现在回忆起来,即使是那白色的冰凉日子,那每一天似乎都有充满海洋气息的阳光,那琴房里闪耀过的每一个音符都是动人的光点,那难以磨灭痕迹的跨年夜,更是时刻萦乱脑海,漂流潆洄。但她知道人不能靠回忆而活,她已经输掉了两次尊严,不能再输第三次,裴砚晨点头,不带一丝情绪的说道:“胡老师,您放心,期末考试,我一定拿第一。” It is not able to meet, the train of thought that this worries about even more is strong, Pei Yanchen always cannot bear turn out that journey Xiaoyu has written the love letter, savors time and time again that sweet and astringent coffee recollection, something did not say that wants to forget can forget, just like the coffee, enters the throat to be possible the faint trace that bitterly and astringently dopes makes people unable not to love happily. 愈是无法见面,这牵挂的思绪就愈加浓烈,裴砚晨总忍不住翻出那程晓羽写过的情书,一次一次地品味那甜而涩的咖啡般地回忆,有些东西不是说想忘记就能忘记,正如咖啡,入喉苦涩可其中掺杂的丝丝甜蜜又让人无法不爱。 Pei Yanchen does not plan to forget, but she plans to give up. 裴砚晨不打算忘记,但她打算放弃。
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