To the post and forum, can always see all kinds of funny posts, no matter is really false, can Botswanan people smile after all. Stayed in this place for a long time, every day had the different pleasure. 到在贴吧和论坛,总能看到各种各样的搞笑帖子,不管是真是假,总归能博人一笑。在这种地方待久了,每天都有不同的乐子。 Finished the draft, taught the following person to polish the revision, Wang Zijin depends in the office chair is in a daze, now the aspect falls into the boundary of deadlock, she must look for a turning point to collapse. 写完稿子,教给下面的人润色修改,王子衿又靠在办公椅发呆,如今局面陷入僵持之境,她要找个契机破局。 But this matter, does not set up the flag to carve out holding, Wang Zijin also has no experience, so long as is the enemy is extremely powerful, allied force salted fish, Sister Zijin is very extremely passive. 可这种事,不是插旗争地盘,王子衿也没什么经验,只要是敌人太过强大,友军太过咸鱼,子衿姐很被动。 The cell phone ring tone resounds, is Qin Ze and Qin Baobao chorus 《Because of Love》. 手机铃声响起,是秦泽和秦宝宝合唱的《因为爱情》。 It looks like the name of electricity person, is Zhao Biao Iron Pillar Zhao. 一看来电人的名字,是赵彪赵铁柱。 Wang Zijin connection telephone. 王子衿接通电话。 „Zijin, my Hu Hansan came back.” Iron Pillar Zhao fool big laughter. “子衿,我胡汉三又回来了。”赵铁柱傻逼似的大笑声。 „You come Shanghai to do.” Wang Zijin sends slightly to never have the tone to this. “你又来沪市干嘛。”王子衿对这个发小从来没好语气。 „Does, naturally is dry.” Iron Pillar Zhao hehe said: „Otherwise did I eat to the full supported am coming Shanghai from afar?” “干,当然干。”赵铁柱嘿嘿道:“不然我吃饱了撑着千里迢迢来沪市？” „Do you court death?” Wang Zijin vertical eyebrow. “你找死？”王子衿竖眉。 She cannot understand the connotation word stupid, white, and sweet, on the contrary, the vocabulary has endured to compare old driver. 她可不是听不懂内涵词的傻白甜,相反,词汇量已经堪比老司机。 „Do not misunderstand, my previous time comes Shanghai, fished a respectable family, that chest that butt, zé zé, making me forget to return, this time initiative requests to travel on official business, comes to fight the 300 round with her, just delivered her several province contracted notations.” Zhao Biao. “别误会,我上次来沪市,钓了个良家,那胸脯那屁股,啧啧,让我流连忘返,这次主动要求出差,过来跟她大战三百回合,刚送了她几行省略号。”赵彪嘿嘿嘿。 „Goes away dead far, a man not good thing.” Wang Zijin scolded, „your Great Childe Zhao was floating in the Capital City colored flag, came Shanghai for this matter far away? Is tired you.” “滚开死远,男人没一个好东西。”王子衿骂道,“你赵大公子在京城彩旗飘飘,大老远来沪市就为这事儿？累不累你。” „Does not understand, this is called the appeal.” Iron Pillar Zhao said: „Nowadays, what/anything is easy greasily, the young fellow likes acting recklessly, our elderly man, pursue is not the appeal. You think that my running over far away, has the politeness also to bring the special product, then hits several rounds of Italian Artillery, because after dawn „ business is encumbered” has to leave, zé zé, has the appeal, you have not seen that daughter tearful eyes not to give up my expression tearfully, who called the brother my time depth. ” “不懂了吧,这叫做情趣。”赵铁柱道:“这年头啊,什么都容易腻,小伙子才喜欢蛮干,咱这种老人家,追求的可不就是情趣吗。你想啊,我大老远的跑过来,又带礼貌又带特产,然后打几发意大利炮,天亮后又因为“事务缠身”不得不离开,啧啧,多有情趣,你是没看见那小娘子泪眼汪汪舍不得我的表情,谁叫老哥我功夫深呢。” „Was all right I to make the telephone call, the worrying matter were many, does not want with your bì bì.” “没事我挂电话了,烦心事多,不想跟你哔哔。” „No, in the evening comes out to eat meal, my tomorrow morning flight.” “别,晚上出来吃个饭吧,我明天早上的航班。” „Ok.” “行吧。” 7 : 00 pm, rooftop Roast meat shop. 晚上 7 点,一家天台烤肉店。 Bone-chilling, but on table charcoal fire flaming, the barbecue on iron stand „cī” to make noise, hot wheting the appetite borsch. 寒风凛冽,但桌上炭火熊熊,铁架子上的烤肉“呲呲”作响,还有热腾腾的开胃罗宋汤。 Wang Zijin outstanding one leg on the other, the mouth is nipping the straw, the side head, the night scene of bored looking into the distance distant place. 王子衿翘二郎腿,嘴里咬着吸管,侧头,无聊的眺望远方的夜景。 Iron Pillar Zhao sits opposite of her, cuts to pieces entire streaky pork with the knife, booth on iron stand, after the moment, the meat overflows fragrant. 赵铁柱坐在她对面,拿小刀把一整块五花肉切碎,摊在铁架子上,片刻后,肉香四溢。 „Our so many annual friendship, did not want you to wipe away tears to leave, at least to the smiling face.” Iron Pillar Zhao curls up the barbecue with lettuce, places in the Wang Zijin tray: „Had not looked that you bring Qin Ze to come, what's wrong, quarrelled?” “咱们这么多年的交情了,不要你挥泪离别,至少给个笑脸吧。”赵铁柱用生菜卷起烤肉,放在王子衿盘子里:“没看你带秦泽来,怎么,吵架了？” Wang Zijin does not respond him, is fermenting this strategy at heart. 王子衿不搭理他,在心里酝酿这计策。 The Iron Pillar Zhao vision in all around roaming drag, the nearby has is especially charming, name brand suit Iron Pillar Zhao that an ordinary white collar class that mature attractive big elder sister smiles can not hold a candle, throws charming eyes toward attractive big elder sister, the vision sinister mature woman returns throws one, Iron Pillar Zhao understands, asking the service person must come the short note, inscribes own cell phone number, forces in service person 200 silver yuan while convenient, making him hand over to the opposite party. 赵铁柱目光在四周游曳,附近有个成熟漂亮的大姐姐笑的格外妩媚,一身普通白领阶层望尘莫及的名牌西装的赵铁柱,朝漂亮大姐姐抛一个媚眼,眼光毒辣的成熟女人回抛一个,赵铁柱心领神会,问服务员要来便签,写上自己的手机号码,顺便塞进服务员两百大洋,让他给对方递过去。 „Before tonight walks, I can also send out several province contracted notations again.” Iron Pillar Zhao thought aloud. “今晚走之前,我还能再送出几行省略号。”赵铁柱自言自语。 „Stud horse essence, you one day die on the woman belly sooner or later.” Expression that Wang Zijin expects too much. “种马精,你迟早有一天死在女人肚皮上。”王子衿恨铁不成钢的语气。 „Dies early dies late must die, comfortable that might as well die.” Iron Pillar Zhao skin is coarse, meat is thick, the facial skin is thicker: „I, the ancestors did good deeds, this whole life threw the good embryo, had a good father. Since the ancestors do good deeds, this whole life should enjoy. Also must clench teeth to support again painstakingly again tired painstakingly, that is the phoenix male dry/does matter. Now does not enjoy happiness, old waist was not good, wants to enjoy happiness unable to enjoy.” “早死晚死都得死,不如死的舒舒服服。”赵铁柱皮糙肉厚,脸皮更厚:“我呢,上辈子积德,这辈子投了好胎,有个好老子。既然上辈子积了德,这辈子就该享受。再苦再累还要咬牙苦撑,那是凤凰男干的事。现在不享福,老了腰不行了,想享福都享不了。” Wang Zijin: „” 王子衿:“” Good that this stud horse essence said is reasonable, had nothing to say in reply. 这种马精说的好有道理,无言以对。 „Had what unhappy matter to say to Elder Brother, do not hide at heart.” In the Iron Pillar Zhao point cigarette, deeply attracts one, spits again, the smog was blown off by the cold wind instantaneously, he narrows the eyes to focus, the complexion was more serious: „Sentimental matter, the woman suffers a loss inborn, the brother I am a waste, this did not deny, the landscape was easy to change the leopard doesn't change his spots, changing cannot change. Your sister-in-law not necessarily does not know that I at outside everything in disorder matter, she is a good woman, so long as this whole life she does not divorce me, I will cross with her. But I still have the shame in the final analysis in her, I also still am a waste. Although Zijin you hit slightly clever, but the association/will runs into the man who likes, if ten years ago, I come an experience and skill resentment without delay, dares to have the idea of my family Dame Queen, who managing him is, must die.” “有什么不开心的事就跟哥说,别藏在心里。”赵铁柱点上一根烟,深吸一口,再吐出来,烟雾瞬间被冷风吹散,他眯着眼,脸色严肃了许多:“感情这种事,女人天生吃亏,老哥我是人渣,这点不否认,江山易改本性难移,改是改不过来了。你嫂子未必不知道我在外面的乱七八糟事,她是个好女人,这辈子只要她不跟我离婚,我就会跟她过下去。可归根结底我依然有愧于她,我也依然是个人渣。虽然子衿你打小伶俐,但总会遇到喜欢的男人,如果是十年前,我二话不说来一顿老拳怼过去,敢打我家女王大人的主意,管他是谁,都得死。” „The present words, I only hope that do not meet like me the waste.” Iron Pillar Zhao earnest say/way. “现在的话,我只希望你别遇到像我这样的人渣。”赵铁柱认真道。 „He is not a waste, was much better compared with you.” Wang Zijin shows the whites of the eyes: „He is too gruff.” “他不是人渣,比你好多了。”王子衿翻了个白眼:“他就是太倔。” „Listens to your tone, will not be will run into the love rival.” In the Iron Pillar Zhao eye flashes through the gossip ray: „Resentment person matter, I to you felt relieved very much, do not instigate, torments to death her, which woman dares to keep off the Sister Zijin road, tramples flat entirely grinds, the bang kills the dregs.” “听你这语气,不会是遇到情敌了吧。”赵铁柱眼睛里闪过八卦的光芒:“怼人这件事,我对你是很放心的,别怂,整死她,哪个女人敢挡子衿姐的路,通通踏平碾碎,轰杀成渣。” Wang Zijin sighed faintly: „Was the enemy is too powerful.” 王子衿幽幽叹口气:“是敌人太强大了。” Once thought family's beautiful slut, but is paper tiger, was not worth mentioning. Now discovers oneself made the serious having a low opinion of the enemy mistake. Su Yu this any cat or dog, a hand tidied up. In the family/home that Great God, is her number one mortal enemy. 曾经以为家里的妖艳jian货,不过是纸老虎,不值一提。现在才发现自己犯了严重的轻敌错误。苏钰这种阿猫阿狗,一只手就收拾了。家里那尊大神,才是她的头号死敌。 elder sister is sick can also rescue. 姐姐有病还能抢救。 younger brother is also sick, felt that Senzu Bean of cat immortal could not rescue. 弟弟也有病,感觉猫仙人的仙豆都救不回来了。 „Is willing to work for queen,” the Iron Pillar Zhao racket strikes one's chest: „Needs me to go into action?” “愿意为女王效劳,”赵铁柱拍拍胸脯:“需要我出马吗？” Wang Zijin shoots a look at his one eyes: „Iron Pillar, is not the elder sister looks down upon you, although you are seemingly tall and sturdy, but felt that a Qin Ze finger pinched you.” 王子衿瞥他一眼:“铁柱啊,不是姐看不起你哦,虽然你看起来人高马大,但感觉秦泽一根指头就捏死你了。” Iron Pillar Zhao remembers Qin Ze to rip the scene of drinking glass, instigated at heart, the strong brace said: „Even this, I can still go through fire or water not to refuse under any circumstances for Sister Zijin.” 赵铁柱想起秦泽手撕玻璃杯的情景,心里一怂,强撑道:“就算是这样,我也可以为子衿姐赴汤蹈火在所不辞。” Wang Zijin pulls out the cell phone immediately: „You fight one with him, I have wanted to punch him.” 王子衿当即掏手机:“那你跟他打一架,我早就想揍他了。” „No Sister Zijin.” Iron Pillar Zhao was hurried: „I spoke thoughtlessly a saying, if I sat in the wheelchair other day Capital City, you not good to confess to your sister-in-law.” “别啊子衿姐。”赵铁柱慌了:“我就随口一说,我要是坐在轮椅上回京城,你也不好向你嫂子交代。” „Instigates the type.” Wang Zijin charming small supercilious look. “怂样。”王子衿娇媚的小白眼。 „Bids good-bye to consider as finished simply, the men is a bum, loses treasuring that understands.” Iron Pillar Zhao has the evil idea. “干脆分手算了,男人都是贱骨头,失去才懂的珍惜的。”赵铁柱出歪主意。 Ding! 叮！ Your IQ recharges successfully. 您的智商充值成功。 In the afternoon Wang Zijin eyes shined, she remembers that post that the post sees, the man who must break faith saw near that own wife and others' man walks, sends on the jealousy immediately greatly, decided that does not leave own wife. 王子衿眼睛一亮,她想起下午贴吧看到的那帖子,一个要变心的男人看到自己老婆和别人的男人走的近,立刻就醋意大发,决定不离开自己的老婆。 Wang Zijin felt oneself can cheat Qin Ze, teaches her military tactics strength in the grandfather, this move of named: The mixture of truth and deceit, confuses falsehood with the truth. 王子衿觉得自己可以诈一诈秦泽,在爷爷教她的兵法力,这招叫做:虚虚实实,以假乱真。 small rascal, do not blame elder sister to play the plans to you. 小赤佬,别怪姐姐对你耍心机了。 Wang Zijin opens the cell phone photograph function, shoots the table barbecue that the fragrance overflows, Iron Pillar Zhao head one low, the domineering enters the mirror, „can make the picture to expose to the sun the friend circle? How could to be short of my handsome face.” 王子衿打开手机拍照功能,把香气四溢的餐桌烤肉拍进去,赵铁柱脑袋一低,强势入镜,“要拍照片晒朋友圈吗？岂能少了我英俊的脸。” „You roll, do not appear.” Wang Zijin pats, „, leaves depart such far, comes out the hand reveal.” “你滚好吗,别露头。”王子衿重新拍,“诶,别离这么远,把手露出来。” The face of Iron Pillar Zhao cannot appear in the lens, Wang Zijin has not learned Photoshop, he appears, could not deceive small rascal. 赵铁柱的脸不能出现在镜头里,王子衿还没学会ps,他一露头,就骗不了小赤佬。 After making the picture, Wang Zijin uploads the friend circle decisively: Today's dinner eats is very happy, satisfactory dá. 【Shy】 拍好照片后,王子衿果断上传朋友圈:今天的晚餐吃的很开心,美美哒。【害羞】 Then, Wang Zijin eats the barbecue, while watches the sound that the friend encircles. 接下来,王子衿一边吃烤肉,一边看朋友圈的动静。 Quick. 很快。 Auntie Qin give a like! 秦阿姨点赞了！ Qin Uncle give a like! 秦叔叔点赞了！ Uh, they should not think that I and their family/home small rascal eats meal. 呃,他们该不会以为我和他们家小赤佬吃饭吧。 Then. 然后。 Qin Baobao: 【Applauds】 【Applauds】 【Applauds】 秦宝宝:【鼓掌】【鼓掌】【鼓掌】 Snort! The lowly person was very definitely happy, my Room-entering Wolf fishes the triumphant child finally. 哼！小贱人肯定很开心了,我这个入室狼终于钓凯子。 Su Yu: Where you eat, I must come. 苏钰:你们在哪里吃,我也要来。 piss off, has not seen such bold woman. 滚犊子吧,没见过这么没脸没皮的女人。 Su Yu: Well, this is not Qin Ze's hand. 苏钰:咦,这不是秦泽的手。 fuck me, this woman and small rascal what relates, even points at is so familiar? 卧槽,这女人和小赤佬什么关系,连手指都这么熟悉？ In the Wang Zijin peach blossom pupil jumps projects killing qi. 王子衿桃花眸里迸射出杀气。 Opposite Iron Pillar Zhao stares, several years later, Sister Zijin revealed her fierce fang, one such as she at the back of the Little Red Book package, sat on the cement flagstone of courtyard corner in the past, when to below one crowd of flunky direction landscape, look that killing qi revealed completely. 对面的赵铁柱一愣,时隔多年,子衿姐又露出她狰狞的獠牙了,一如她当年背着小红书包,坐在院子角落的水泥石板上,对着下方一群马仔指点江山时,杀气毕露的眼神。 The delightful female voice resounds, is Wang Zijin's cell phone, she pulls out to look, immediately smiles to narrow the sexy look. 悦耳的女声响起,是王子衿的手机,她掏出来一看,顿时笑眯桃花眼。 āi yōu, is the small rascal telephone. 哎呦,是小赤佬的电话。 Impatient, angry, startled, frightened. 心急了吧,愤怒了吧,惊慌了吧,恐惧了吧。 Wang Zijin hangs up the cell phone, thought, is drying in the sun you, does not answer your telephone. 王子衿把手机挂断,心想,就是晾着你,就是不接你电话。 Is dry, small rascal! 燥起来吧,小赤佬！ small rascal was really dry, telephoning, the Wang Zijin corners of the mouth turned upwards continuously, she closed down. 小赤佬果然燥起来了,连续不停的打电话,王子衿嘴角翘起,她关机了。 „Finished eating? Finished eating walks.” Iron Pillar Zhao said. “吃完了吗？吃完就走吧。”赵铁柱说。 Because he noticed that mature attractive big elder sister had left, before walking, throws charming eyes toward him, Iron Pillar Zhao understands, prepares to hurry Wang Zijin to send back, tomorrow before leaving Shanghai, he can transport a number of ellipses. 因为他看到成熟漂亮的大姐姐已经离开了,走之前还朝他抛媚眼,赵铁柱心领神会,准备赶紧把王子衿送回去,明天离开沪市前,他可以输送一批省略号。 „Does not worry.” Wang Zijin smiles saying: „You said the men and women who in the evening the appointment eats meal, after finishing eating, must open hour room what/anything.” “不着急。”王子衿笑眯眯道:“你说晚上约会吃饭的男女,吃完之后,是不是还要开个钟点房什么的。” Iron Pillar Zhao: (°Д°) 赵铁柱:(°Д°) Shook the essence. 震精了。 Sister Zijin this saying anything meaning, this ponders and ambiguous smiling face 子衿姐这话啥意思,这又玩味又暧昧的笑容 Iron Pillar Zhao hesitant, worried say/way: „Zijin, when you are my elementary school girlfriend, but so many years passed by after all, I have gotten married and begun a career. Even you regret now, was still little too late. Yeah, this sentiment may wait to recall, was is only frustrated at that time.” 赵铁柱犹豫了一下,苦恼道:“子衿啊,虽然你是我小学时的女朋友,但毕竟这么多年过去了,我都已经成家立业了。就算你现在后悔,也有点晚了呀。哎,此情可待成追忆,只是当时已惘然。” Wang Zijin stares, sneers saying: „Seeking of thou other mother perishes!” 王子衿一愣,冷笑道:“汝彼母之寻亡乎！” Iron Pillar Zhao: „Even you are attractive and outstanding, but the elder brother is you cannot obtain the man for a lifetime.” 赵铁柱:“就算你又漂亮又优秀,但哥是你一辈子都得不到男人。” Wang Zijin sneers again: „Excrement cannot because of nobody will ask to be noble.” 王子衿再冷笑:“屎不会因为无人问津而高贵。” Even the charcoal fire is agitated, the cold wind is too bone-chilling cold, Wang Zijin and Iron Pillar Zhao pay to leave, she is lying down toward the driving position, shakes down the seat: „I narrow a while, ten o'clock time transmits me to go home. The address I sent on your cell phone.” 即便炭火汹汹,寒风还是太凛冽,王子衿和赵铁柱买单离开,她在往驾驶位一躺,摇下座椅:“我眯一会儿,十点钟的时候出发送我回家。地址我发你手机上了。” Iron Pillar Zhao „”, read him to have mature big elder sister that very big probability begins at heart tonight, ten points, delivers her to go back on a half hour of distance, the big evening's road does not stop up, starts quickly, two ten points arrived, he also has greatly time makes love the matter that does, at the worst flight changing. 赵铁柱“哦”了一声,心里念着他今晚有很大几率上手的成熟大姐姐,十点出发,送她回去就半小时的路程,大晚上的路不堵,开快一点,二十分就到了,他还有大把的时间做爱做的事,大不了航班改签嘛。 Grumble to 10 : 00 pm, Iron Pillar Zhao hurricane catches up toward Subdistrict Qin Ze. This does not know was patted many overspeed, but this is not the matter of Childe Zhao care. 磨叽到晚上 10 点,赵铁柱可谓一路狂飙的朝秦泽赶。这一路不知道被拍了多少超速,但这不是赵公子关心的事儿。 twenty minutes, arrives at the community entrance, he pushes to awake Wang Zijin. 二十分钟不到,到小区门口,他推醒王子衿。 „Later the glass shook down a seam to be good.” Wang Zijin patted own cheek, said one bewilderedly. “待会车窗摇下一条缝就好了。”王子衿拍了拍自己的脸蛋,莫名其妙的说了一句。 „You do what make trouble out of nothing.” Iron Pillar Zhao is bewildered. “你搞什么幺蛾子。”赵铁柱一脸茫然。 „Rubbish, complies on the line.” Wang Zijin got out, the cold wind blows to come, the whole body hit to tremble. “别废话,照做就行。”王子衿下车了,寒冷的风拂面而来,浑身打了个哆嗦。 According to her knew about Qin Ze's, small rascal definitely visits her in some darkness of community entrance now. 依她对秦泽的了解,小赤佬现在肯定在小区门口的某个黑暗处看着她。 Wang Zijin deeply inspires, on the face raises the happy smiling face. 王子衿深吸一口气,脸上扬起甜蜜的笑容。 She circles to the driving window near, smiling face happy waving: „Bye!” 她绕到驾驶窗边,笑容甜蜜的挥挥手:“再见！” Iron Pillar Zhao hit to tremble, the accelerator stepped on, swaggers away. 赵铁柱打了个哆嗦,油门一踩,扬长而去。 Wang Zijin just entered the community, hearing the darkness to broadcast the faint sound: „Sister Zijin you come back!” 王子衿刚走进小区,听见黑暗处传来幽幽的声音:“子衿姐你回来啦！” Even has the preparation, she has a scare, turns head to look, Qin Ze both hands insert the pocket to stand there, is raising the head, „forgives my unconventional love freedom” bearing. 就算有心理准备,她还是吓一跳,扭头看去,秦泽双手插兜站在那里,昂着脑袋,“原谅我放荡不羁爱自由”的站姿。 Does not go home to Wang Zijin's pleasantly surprised. 对王子衿的回家一点都不惊喜。 „A'Ze you how here.” Sister Zijin „surprised” tone. “阿泽你怎么在这儿。”子衿姐“惊讶”的语气。 „Under me arrives at reception room Meng eldest master there to take express.” “我下来到传达室孟大爷那里拿快递。” „Express?” “快递呢？” „Express has not arrived!” Qin Ze faintly said: „Received one hit 999 separates spatial suddenly/violently to strike.” “快递没到！”秦泽幽幽道:“收到了一刀999的隔空暴击。” Wang Zijin corner of the mouth raised. 王子衿嘴角一挑。