«Salt fish Grand ceremony» first arranges in order Chapter 1 first: 《咸鱼大典》第一列第一章第一条: „Person, must understand that satisfies.” “人,要懂得满足。” As encouraging man who must be the salt fish king, 作为一个励志要做咸鱼王的男人, Boss Zhou after brandishing several own „new claw” seemed like a child to attain the new toy to chuckle one, 周老板在挥舞了几下自己的“新爪子”像是一个小孩拿到了新玩具窃喜了一阵之后, No a while receives the claw, goes into downstairs to take a bath, then hugged the maid to sleep white/in vain. 没一会儿就把爪子收回去,跑到楼下重新洗了个澡,然后搂着女仆白睡大觉去了。 This type „embezzling” the behavior, is very dangerous, especially that consciousness in within the body also had the repugnance even to start the resistance, was good because of being suppressed finally by Zhou Ze. 这种“监守自盗”的行为,真的很危险,尤其体内的那个意识也对此产生了反感甚至开始了反抗,好在最后被周泽镇压回去了。 But from another perspective, this feeling, but also is really exciting. 但从另一个角度来说,这种感觉,还真刺激。 Boss Zhou seemed like „steals chicken” to succeed was the same, 周老板像是“偷鸡”成功了一样, Is holding in any case already has gained the mentality, 抱着反正已经赚了的心态, This sleep/felt rests especially fragrantly. 这一觉睡得格外香甜。 Perhaps was last night consumes too many reasons, Zhou Ze awoke to afternoon, after getting out of bed, discovered that own body high and low many place in sore, looked like one not the person of movement to be usually prompted by a sudden impulse to shout loudly suddenly a time loses weight the slogan clenching teeth movement consequence. 兴许是昨晚消耗了太多的原因,周泽一直到下午才睡醒,起床后发现自己的身体上下很多地方都在酸疼,就像是一个平时不怎么运动的人忽然心血来潮高呼减肥地口号咬牙运动了一次的后果。 As once doctor, Zhou Ze was certainly clear that this is the lactic acid secretes many reasons all of a sudden, has not been serious, is as usual leisurely washing, then sat in first floor. 作为曾经的医生,周泽当然清楚这是乳酸一下子分泌过多的原因,也没当一回事儿,照旧悠哉悠哉下来洗漱,然后在一楼坐了下来。 Bai Yingying delivers the tea and today's newspaper immediately, 白莺莺马上送上来茶水和今天的报纸, The newspaper is Bai Yingying specially beforehand the ironing. 报纸是白莺莺特意事先熨烫过的。 A long time, before the aristocrat reads the newspaper, servant beforehand newspaper ironing, this is because before the print technology was not good, when a ironing newspaper can avoid glancing through the finger moistens to the printing ink dirt, now actually does not have this issue, but Bai Yingying likes this ceremony feeling. 很长一段时间里,贵族看报纸前仆人会事先把报纸熨烫一下,这是因为以前印刷技术不行,熨烫一下报纸可以避免翻阅时手指沾到油墨污渍,现在其实没这个问题了,但白莺莺喜欢这种仪式感。 Zhou Ze also lets matters drift. 周泽也就听之任之。 Nowadays, Boss Zhou when the meticulous attendance of Bai Yingying, seems like Ching Dynasty every morning raises the bannerman master who the birdcage is going out strolls accompanied by pet bird. 现如今,周老板在白莺莺的无微不至照顾之下,很像是前清时每天早上就提着鸟笼出门遛鸟的旗人老爷。 old daoist is reading the news, sits by the bar, the monkey sits his arms, he reads the news while catches the louse to the monkey. 老道在看着新闻,坐在吧台旁边,猴子坐他怀里,他一边看新闻一边给猴子抓虱子。 Actually the monkey pounds loves very much cleanly, oneself also understood that cleans up the hair, but old daoist was familiar with this type to feel in any case, catching the louse was indifferent, monkey hair soft, the feel really good, rubbing to pinch also to be very comfortable. 其实猴砸很爱干净,自己也懂得去清理毛发,但老道反正习惯这种感觉了,抓不抓到虱子无所谓,猴毛软乎乎的,手感真不错,揉揉捏捏也舒服得很。 The monkey pounds also enjoys very much, small head by old daoist chest position, a face satisfied. 猴砸也很享受,小脑袋靠在老道胸膛位置,一脸地惬意。 A person of monkey idle condition, in that compared with ordinary people mouth drinks tea to read the newspaper every day dispiritedly the mechanism/organization office lazy. 一人一猴无所事事的状态,比市井小民口中的那种每天喝茶看报纸的机关办公室更加得颓废慵懒。 „Yo, Boss, this star committed suicide.” “哟,老板,这位明星自杀了啊。” old daoist referred to the television screen shouting to Zhou Ze. 老道指了指电视屏幕对周泽喊道。 „Who?” “谁啊？” Zhou Ze has not lifted, he is not interested in the news of entertainment world. 周泽头也没抬,他对娱乐圈的新闻并不感兴趣。 „Is sings «» that male singer.” “就是唱《》的那位男歌手啊。” „oh.” “哦。” The song knows, the person does not know. 歌知道,人不知道。 „ He before dawn from exploding goes off track in the micro blog, but also from exploding oneself attracted D, moreover from exploding oneself is the homosexuality, oh, this motherfucker was the achieving Buddhahood sudden enlightenment. “他凌晨在微博上自爆出轨,还自爆了自己吸d,另外自爆了自己是同性恋,哇塞,这他娘的是成佛顿悟了吧。 Oneself online shook clean the black history, then jumped from an upper story to commit suicide from the hotel building, tsk tsk, his several song this poor Daoist liked very much. ” 自己把自己黑历史在网上抖了个一干二净,然后从酒店楼上跳楼自杀了,啧啧,他的几首歌贫道还是很喜欢的。” Was saying to be saying, old daoist also put out a hand to grasp to rub monkey wool, 说着说着,老道还伸手抓了撸了一把猴毛, „Monkey pounds also likes very much, frequently cuts this song with oneself cell phone.” “猴砸也很喜欢,经常用自己手机切这歌。” „oh.” “哦。” Boss Zhou continues to enjoy newspaper properly to the comfortable experience feeling that he brings, he truly has no interest in this aspect news. 周老板还是继续享受熨贴的报纸给他带来的舒适体验感,他确实对这方面新闻没什么兴趣。 Deceased people, 死人, He saw. 他见多了。 Male, female, high, short, each attractive in their own right, outwardly refined and inwardly intelligent, the dregs male good husband and others to wait, 男的,女的,高的,矮的,环肥燕瘦,秀外慧中,渣男好老公等等等, Almost was quick the Nanjing salty duck in assembly line in Zhou the measure, 在周老板眼里几乎快成了流水线上的南京盐水鸭, Comes stark naked, the repertoire pack, then transmits to the underworld receive. 赤条条地过来,套路性地打包,然后发送给地狱接收。 It is said that has the medical examiner to like in the place that oneself work sleeping, because such can make him feel that some people are accompanying oneself warmth, possibly was really not the person psychology had problems, the person after all was a custom ability very strong animal. 据说有法医喜欢在自己工作的地方睡觉,因为那样可以让他觉得有人在陪伴自己的温暖感,可能真不是人心理出问题了,人毕竟是一个习惯能力很强的动物。 „Well, waits.” “咦,等下。” old daoist puts out the cell phone to flip, the pleasant surprise said: 老道拿出手机又翻了翻,惊喜道: „Boss, this singer had the business to develop in Tongcheng yesterday, he jumps in the Tongcheng hotel attic.” “老板,这歌星昨天在通城有商演,他就是在通城大饭店顶楼跳下去的。” „oh.” “哦。” The Tongcheng hotel a long time, is the landmark building in Tongcheng people heart, more than ten years ago when the Tongcheng person boasted liked blowing yesterday to go to the Tongcheng hotel to eat meal and so on. 通城大饭店在很长一段时间里,是通城人民心中的地标性建筑物,十多年前通城人吹牛时喜欢吹自己昨儿个去通城大饭店吃饭了云云。 old daoist is getting more and more excited, neglected being perfunctory of oneself boss radically , to continue saying: 老道越来越激动,根本忽视了自家老板的敷衍,继续道: „ Boss, you said that he can come to our bookstore tonight? “老板,你说他今晚会不会来咱书店？ I must prepare the good tears, if he comes, perhaps we can also listen to his original sound to sing a song. ” 我得准备好牛眼泪啊,如果他来的话,我们兴许还能听他原声唱一首歌。” Zhou Ze raised the head, shot a look at old daoist, 周泽抬起头,瞥了一眼老道, „It is not all deceased people will come to our bookstore.” “不是所有死人都会来我们书店的。” The Zhou Ze reminder said. 周泽提醒道。 If the deceased people must come to the bookstore, gdp of that bookstore was very terrifying, Boss Zhou must be busy at to drinking the time of coffee not to have continually, it is estimated that caught up with the chief of police to surpass inspects is not the dream. 如果死人都得来书店,那书店的gdp真的很恐怖了,周老板得忙到连喝咖啡的时间都没有,估计赶捕头超巡检都不是梦了。 But under fact overwhelming majority ghosts are meet underworld, only then minority a few not obedient ghost babies will feed in underworld to go through bookstore channel. 但实际上绝大部分的亡魂是自己会下地狱的,只有少数中的少数不听话的亡魂宝宝会通过书店这个渠道被送进地狱去。 „Boss, I thought that he has the wrongful treatment very much, you look, before he at the point of death, from exploding oneself all black history, then committed suicide, this inside has the huge feeling of being wronged!” “老板,我觉得他很有冤屈啊,你看,他临死前自爆了自己一切黑历史,然后再自杀,这里面有天大的冤情啊！” „Therefore?” “所以？” „Therefore he likely really arrives in the bookstore tonight!” “所以他很可能今晚就真的到书店里来啊！” old daoist full pursuing star character feeling. 老道满满的追星范儿感觉。 Said, 讲真, old daoist this pursuing star way can be said as exploded famously „a rainbow bridge elder sister” to a certain extent, 老道这种追星方式在一定程度上可以说是完爆了有名的“虹桥一姐”, You block the airport entrance, I block the underworld entrance. 你堵机场门口,我堵地狱门口。 „To pursue star? I know actually a place Fang Mingxing are many, opens the star who glory Meifang this kind of I also like very much.” “想追星？我倒是知道一个地方明星很多,还有张荣梅芳这类我也很喜欢的明星在。” „Really?” old daoist pleasantly surprised say/way. “真的？”老道惊喜道。 „Un, hurries to ask string to hang, I am responsible for feeding in underworld your soul, perhaps can also catch up with their underground concerts.” “嗯,赶紧找根绳子自己吊上去,我负责把你灵魂送进地狱,说不定还能赶上他们的地下演唱会。” „............” old daoist. “…………”老道。 In the evening, Xu Qinglang prepared table of feasts for the first time, Boss Zhou put out the other shore flower sign fruit juice that oneself collected seriously, drank a small mouth cautiously, then only thought that the appetite opened greatly, really ate! 晚上,许清朗又准备了一桌大餐,周老板第一次郑重其事地拿出了自己珍藏的彼岸花牌果汁,小心翼翼地喝了一小口,接下来只觉得胃口大开,真的是饱餐了一顿！ On the table others looked that the feeling of Boss Zhou with the day before yesterday looked when that Bridge of Helplessness old grandma wolfs down almost. 桌上其他人看周老板的感觉跟前天看那个奈何桥老阿婆狼吞虎咽时差不多。 Really, 果然, The underworld living condition is bad, 地狱的生活条件差, Looked that is hungry these ghosts. 看把这些鬼饿得。 The food finishes, 饭毕, Some braces Boss Zhou moved a chair to sit in the bookstore entrance simply, overflowed the aftertaste that taking advantage of the other shore thrum vigor, Zhou Ze received the fruit dry fruit that Bai Yingying carried to continue to eat. 有些撑到的周老板干脆搬着一把椅子在书店门口坐了下来,借着彼岸花药劲儿没过的余韵,周泽接过白莺莺端来的果子蜜饯继续吃着。 Dines happily, 幸福地进餐, Enjoys the wonderful feeling of food, 享受食物的美妙感觉, This happiness, 这种久违的幸福, If not Boss Zhou deliberately endures to suppress, may cry on the dining table. 如果不是周老板刻意忍着憋着,可能在饭桌上都会哭出来。 Xu Qinglang gets to the shop entrance, lit cigarette, the expression somewhat lost. 许清朗走到店门口,点了一根烟,表情有些失落。 The meal of today, symbolizes that Xu Qinglang’s uses pickled plum juice soon to withdraw from the market as the principal series juice drinks. 今天的这一餐,标志着许清朗的以酸梅汁为主打的系列汁水饮品即将退出市场。 Without the speech, without the exchange, after smoking, Xu Qinglang returns to the bookstore to be busy at work own matter. 没说话,没交流,抽完烟后许清朗就回书店忙活自己的事情去了。 Boss Zhou is enjoying the evening South Avenue final noise very much easily and comfortably, 周老板很是安逸地享受着傍晚南大街最后的喧嚣, Simultaneously is also calculating tonight at heart is being the spend some time practices to be first ripe the sickle claw that yesterday came out starts to continue to steal chicken? 同时心里也在盘算着今晚是花点时间把昨天出来的镰刀爪子练练先熟一下手呢还是继续偷鸡一把？ Latter impulsive was suppressed quickly by Zhou Ze, ok, bites off more than one can chew, takes your time. 后一种冲动很快被周泽抑制住了,算了,贪多嚼不烂,慢慢来吧。 A sedan car stopped in the bookstore entrance, the glass lags behind, in Zhou Ze sees to sit one is wearing the blue skirt...... man! 一辆小轿车在书店门口停了下来,车窗拉下,周泽看见里面坐着一个身穿着蓝色裙子的……男人！ The dry fruit in throat choked all of a sudden, Zhou Ze coughed. 喉咙里的蜜饯一下子噎到了,周泽咳嗽起来。 The opposite party have leaned the face, looked at Zhou Ze, in the expression had little was unsatisfied, but has not said anything. 对方侧过脸,看了看周泽,表情上有一点点的不满意,但也没说什么。 Puts out the cell phone, probably is same in the localization, finally, he looked toward Zhou Ze, this opens the vehicle door, gets out. 拿出手机,像是在重新定位一样,最后,他又往周泽这边看了看,这才推开车门,下了车。 When the opposite party gets out, Zhou Ze then discovered before oneself, possibly misread, the opposite party wears black fine small western-style clothes, before possibly the skirt of woman threw over on the vehicle on own body was driving. 等到对方下车时,周泽这才发现自己之前可能是看错了,对方穿着一件黑色精致的小西服,之前在车上可能是把女人的裙子披在了自己的身上在开车。 The people have not approached, that share fragrance has filled the air, is the perfume flavor, irritates the nose very much, is very rich. 人还没走近,那一股子香味就已经弥漫了过来,是香水的味道,很刺鼻,很浓郁。 Under those images and scenes, Zhou Ze wants to shout the gesture gesture Xu Qinglang. 此情此景之下,周泽很想把许清朗喊出来比划比划。 You ran into the opponent! 你遇到对手了！ However, quick Zhou Ze discovered the different, old perhaps straight male, that aspect function and interest have no issue, his leaning woman appearance is inborn, but at present this, is filling with an affected aura, moreover as a senior surgeon, Zhou Ze can look that on the face of opposite party should use many knives, this is renovates the flavor of woman to come oneself forcefully. 不过,很快周泽就发现了不同,老许是直男,那方面功能和兴趣都没啥问题,他的偏女人容颜是天生的,而眼前这位,则是充满着一种矫揉造作的气息,而且作为一名资深外科医生,周泽能看出来对方的脸上应该动过了不少刀子,这是硬生生地把自己整修出女人的味道来的。 „Arrives at the expensive/noble place, greeted, my name was Liu Chuyu, new promote ghost messenger, Changzhou, must take into custody a ghost to go back tonight.” “来到贵地,打个招呼,我叫刘楚宇,新晋鬼差,常州来的,今晚要羁押一名亡魂回去。” The opposite party put out a hand to Zhou Ze, plans to shake hand, but the opposite party is putting together the handkerchief on the palm beforehand, the meaning was very obvious, he shuts out Zhou Ze’s hand to be dirty. 对方对周泽伸出手,打算握手,但对方事先在手掌上放着一道手绢,意思很明显了,他嫌弃周泽的手脏。 Boss Zhou have the cleanliness/mysophobia, saw that this smiles, is disinclined to shake hand with this goods, asked directly: 周老板自己还有洁癖呢,看到这一幕笑了笑,也懒得跟这货握手,直接问道: „Forest may say with me has crossing the border Changzhou ghost messenger to here come, how, walks from my belt/bring ghost, steals away of business?” “林可和我说了有个越界的常州鬼差要到这里来,怎么,从我这里带鬼走,抢生意？” „I can compensate you in other aspects, this ghost is very to me important, I need to see off to him personally . Moreover the midway may have some accidents/surprises.” “我可以在其他方面对你进行补偿,这个亡魂对我来说很重要,我需要亲自给他送行,而且中途可能会出现一些意外。” The opposite party bend the waist, looks at Zhou Ze: 对方弯下腰,看着周泽: „ If my attitude and stance make you feel very uncomfortable, I first give you to apologize here, I do not want to stir up trouble here. “如果我的态度和姿态让你觉得很不舒服,那我在这里先给你道歉,我不想在这里惹事。 I am not arrogant, is not aloof from worldly affairs, 我不是孤傲,也不是清高, But because the inertia of this body is extremely powerful, 而是因为这具身体的惯性太过强大, My present many behavior detail was being driven by this body beforehand custom, has not fully adapted, excuse me. ” 我现在的很多行为细节都被这具身体以前的习惯带动着,还没完全适应过来,不好意思。” „The inertia of body?” “身体的惯性？” „oh, in brief, this body instinct repel man, repugnant man, but he is a man.” “哦,简而言之,这具身体本能地排斥男人,讨厌男人,但偏偏他自己又是一个男人。” A Liu Chuyu grief expression, 刘楚宇一副哀莫大于心死的表情, „Falls into on this host body, I also very despair.” “落入这个寄主身体身上,我也很绝望啊。” Saying, Liu Chuyu also carefully looked at Zhou Ze, smiles, said: 说着,刘楚宇还仔细看了看周泽,笑了笑,道: „Brother, your body elects well, but also is very graceful, I envy you.” “老兄,你这身体选得不错,还挺帅的,我真是羡慕你啊。” „Hehe.” “呵呵。” Zhou Ze wants saying that with the opposite party falls to killing on own personal enemy is not worth the envied matter, 周泽本想和对方说说落到杀死自己的仇人身上也不是什么值得被羡慕的事儿, But has a look at front again, 但再看看面前的这位, He thought suddenly Xu Le has the place of his lovable. 8) 他忽然觉得徐乐还是有他的可爱之处的。八)