On May 12, today is the days of little four son engagements. 五月12日,今天是小肆儿订婚的日子。 Has such custom in the Yangping district, among the men and women first becomes engaged, crosses the bridegroom's gift to bride's family, then marries, but is now simpler than before, so long as now both parents pass through discuss the agreement, can bridegroom's gift to bride's family two and makes one step to walk the engagement. 在阳平县就有这样的风俗,男女间先订婚,过彩礼,再结婚,不过现在比以前简单一些了,现在只要双方父母经过商量同意,就可以将定亲和过彩礼两步并作一步走。 Generally the groom's family parents' meeting looked for a divining according to the diagrams mister, selected the auspicious day auspicious time to want the bridegroom's gift to bride's family, male Fang Family prepared the content of bridegroom's gift to bride's family to include: 一般男方家长会找了个算卦的先生,择了个吉日吉时要过彩礼,男方家里准备过彩礼的内容有: Two «Engagement Books», «Engagement Book» on writes plainly the engagement person, the chief witness at a wedding ceremony, the guardian name of male bride's side, the birthday of both parties, the birthday double-hour, the guardians of both parties signed, the date of engagement, like this, left behind one in bride's side of that day engagement, the groom's family left behind one, this asked both parties to hold one respectively. 两份《订婚书》,《订婚书》上写明订婚人,证婚人,男女方的家长姓名,男女双方的出生年月,生日时辰,男女双方的家长签名,订婚的日期等,这样,在订婚的那天女方留下一份,男方留下一份,这就叫男女双方各执一份。 The goods include: Two red jujubes, two chestnuts, intent Yu Zaoli child, ten red lines, red string two put on a needle respectively, one package of yeast introduction, one package of table salt, intent explained perfect and meaning of A single thread draws those fated to marry together across a thousand li, both parties bestowed a waistband, intent explain the band. 物品有:两颗红枣,两个栗子,意喻早立子,十圈红线,红线两头各穿一个针,一包发面引子,一包食盐,意喻十全十美和千里姻缘一线牵的意思,男女双方赠送一条腰带,意喻带子。 Most important is money that the groom's family prepares to the bride's side, as for the quantity of money must look that the economic strength of groom's family decides, the economic strength strong words may give much, the economic strength not strong words, can little give. 最重要的就是男方准备的钱给女方,至于钱的数量要看男方的经济实力而定,经济实力强的话可多给点,经济实力不强的话,可以少给点。 Naturally this must look at the bride's side parents' opinion, some bride's side parents were unreasonable, asking an outrageous price was also is. 当然这也要看女方父母的意见,有些女方父母不讲道理,漫天要价的也是笔笔皆是。 As a result of betrothal gift of money many issue, both parties guardians quarrelled was also not infrequent, many men and women because of this betrothal gift of money many, could not tie the couple not in many. 由于聘金多少的问题,男女双方家长吵架的也是不在少数,很多男女也因为这个聘金多少,结不了夫妻的也不在不少的。 As for the bride's side, the thing of groom's family in receiving is sent after the matchmaker, first «Engagement Book» will fill, again these courtesy of A single thread draws those fated to marry together across a thousand li the groom's family will send, will arrange one to make a return gift again to the groom's family. 至于女方,在收到由媒人送来的男方的东西后,首先将《订婚书》填写好,再就是将男方送来的千里姻缘一线牵的那些礼数,再筹备一份如数回赠给男方。 Regarding money that the groom's family sends, wants the making a return gift certain amount to go back, makes a return gift many to look that the situation of bride's side decides, some make a return gift 10,000, some make a return gift 8000, some make a return gift 6000, naturally one point does not want, makes a return gift completely to the groom's family, keeps the groom's family to purchase homes marriage and other uses, this depends on the bride's side guardian. 对于男方送来的钱呢,一定要回赠一定数量回去,回赠多少要看女方的情况而定,有的回赠一万,有的回赠八千,有的回赠六千,当然也有的一分不要,全部回赠给男方,留作男方买房子结婚等用途,这个取决于女方家长的。 Does not know in other place leaf glory, in the hometown of leaf glory, this betrothal gift of money does not make a return gift is incorrect, even if you make a return gift several hundred, but will be gossipped, if one point does not make a return gift, the groom's family guardians will not agree, this marriage will also subscribe inadequately. 在别的地方叶荣耀不知道,在叶荣耀的家乡,这个聘金不回赠是不行的,哪怕你是回赠几百也可以的,只是会被人说闲话的,要是一分都不回赠的话,男方家长是不会同意的,这个婚也就会订不成的。 The engagement feast is the two sides holds the banquet, the bride's side must hold several banquets, invited the bridegroom and matchmaker, simultaneously will give the matchmaker a big red packet, was his laborious fee/spent. 订婚宴是两边摆酒席的,女方也要摆几桌酒席,请新姑爷和媒人,同时会给媒人一个大红包,算是他的辛苦费。 After all before both parties have not managed the marriage banquet, both parties guardians communicate through the guardian of matchmaker and opposite party, having anything is unsatisfied, has anything to request, transmits through the matchmaker, both parties guardians are rarely the direct communications. 毕竟在男女双方还没有办结婚酒席前,男女双方家长都是通过媒人和对方的家长沟通的,有什么不满意的,有什么要求的,都是通过媒人来传达的,男女双方家长是很少直接沟通的。 Therefore is important in the rural matchmakers, having a child that generally the matchmaker to a wedding, must follow to arrive at the female who the groom's family marries was finished, before then, the matchmaker must coordinate the issue of both parties. 所以说在农村媒人非常重要的,一般媒人对一桩婚事,要跟到男方娶的女的生孩子才算结束,在这之前,媒人还是要协调男女双方的问题的。 Naturally this is only at the ceremony of bride's side family/home, male Fang Family must hold the ceremony, but male Fang Family holds this engagement ceremony, behind ceremony that must place the bride's side. 当然这只是在女方家的仪式,男方家也要办仪式的,不过男方家办这个订婚仪式,要放在女方的仪式后面。 Generally is the bride's side prepares a banquet at noon, the groom's family prepares a banquet in the evening. 一般都是女方中午办酒席,男方晚上办酒席。 The engagement ceremony of male Fang Family is quite simple, without so many, then the numerous and diverse ceremonies, manage several tables of liquor, invited some relatives and friends and schoolmate groom's family drinks was OK, naturally this matchmaker point must invite, the groom's family must to the big red packet to the matchmaker, express gratitude. 男方家的订婚仪式比较简单,没有那么多,那么繁杂的仪式,就是办几桌酒,请男方的一些亲戚和朋友、同学喝酒就可以了,当然这个媒人一点还是要请的,男方也是要给个大红包给媒人的,表示感谢的。 The after engagement liquor of groom's family drinks up, expressed that the engagement ceremony completed, later this both parties are the couples, can have scruples not stay together, after generally engagement, the bride's side will live in male Fang Family, is the wife of male Fang Family. 男方的订婚酒喝完后,就表示订婚仪式完成了,以后这个男女双方已经是夫妻了,可以没有顾忌地住在一起了,一般订婚后,女方就会住在男方家里了,已经算是男方家的媳妇了。 In the rural person eyes, the engagement ceremony compared with arriving at authority lead(er) „red notebook” has the symbolic significance, you have not managed the engagement and marriage banquet, you got „red notebook”, rests on behalf of both parties in the same place is legitimate, the people in rural area will not acknowledge that both parties couples' relations, the baseless rumor in rural area will also be many. 在农村人眼里,订婚仪式比到政府部门领“红本本”更有象征意义,你没有办订婚、结婚酒席,你就是领了“红本本”,代表男女双方睡在一起是合法,农村里的人都不会承认男女双方夫妻的关系的,农村里的风言风语也会很多的。 Yesterday the little four son's mother looked for the leaf glory, wants to ask the leaf glory to accompany the little four sons to go to bride's side there the bridegroom's gift to bride's family, this continues the beforehand old tradition, before both parties engagement, the groom's family needed some people select the burden/shoulder pole, in the burden/shoulder pole thought is the thing of engagement. 昨天小肆儿的母亲找叶荣耀,想请叶荣耀陪小肆儿去女方那里过彩礼,这是延续以前的老传统,以前男女双方订婚的时候,男方必须要有人挑着担子,担子里装着都是订婚的物件。 The person of this shoulder pole, is engagement the peer of young fellow, generally is the brothers, cousins, father's cousin's sons and bright brothers( is better very much, grows up together friend) to come the shoulder pole. 这挑担子的人,都是订婚的小伙子的同辈人,一般都是兄弟、表兄弟、堂兄弟、明兄弟(就是很要好的,从小一起长大的朋友)来挑担的。 Before the rural area was poor, people also had no private car, the person of this shoulder pole was very laborious, from the male Fang Family shoulder pole to the bride's side family/home. 以前农村穷,人们也没有什么私家车,这挑担的人可是很辛苦的,一路从男方家挑担到女方家。 However the economy is now developed, many people had the private car, arrived at bride's side main house gate the car(riage) directly, then on shoulder pole to the bride's side family/home, few roads, but can also attain two big red packages, many people are willing to do. 不过现在经济发达了,很多人都有私家车了,直接把车开到女方家门口,然后就挑担到女方家里,没有几步路,还能拿到两个大红包,很多人还是很愿意做的。 The little four son family/home brothers are very many, not the too small four son parents equal, asked the leaf glory to be the person of this shoulder pole, is mainly the leaf glory now in the nearby nearby areas, but celebrity, very prestigious. 小肆儿家兄弟挺多的,不过小肆儿父母一合计,就请叶荣耀做这个挑担的人,主要是叶荣耀现在在附近十里八乡可是名人,很有威望的。 Is accompanied the little four sons to go to the bride's side home by leaf Rongyao, has the face, the living scene that can also press, making the bride's side family/home not dare to despise itself. 由叶荣耀陪着小肆儿去女方家,有面子,也能压的住场面,让女方家不敢小看自己这边。 In the morning 9 o'clock, the leaf glory opens Audi q7 to go to the little four son homes, today is to open Audi q7 to go to the bride's side home to deliver the bridegroom's gift to bride's family. 早上九点钟,叶荣耀开着奥迪q7来到小肆儿家,今天就是要开奥迪q7去女方家送彩礼的。 In the Yangping district, others, no matter becomes engaged, is the marriage, attaches importance to face, you drive a better car(riage) to go to the bride's side home, the bride's side family member thought that more has the face. 在阳平县,人家不管是订婚,还是结婚,都好面子,你开越好的车去女方家,女方家里人觉得越有面子。 The bride's side family/home did not fear that male Fang Family shows off, feared that male Fang Family does not show off. 女方家不怕男方家显摆,就怕男方家不显摆。 As for this car(riage) is the groom's family own, the bride's side to did not mind very much, since agreed to become engaged, that accepts the home background of groom's family. 至于这车是不是男方自己的,女方到不是很介意,既然都同意订婚了,那就是接受男方的家庭情况了。 „Glory, is laborious today you.” “荣耀啊,今天辛苦你了。” leaf Rongyao just from the vehicle, the little four son's mother came to say with the leaf glory. 叶荣耀刚从车上下来,小肆儿的母亲就过来跟叶荣耀说道。 „Aunt, you were too polite, the little four sons become engaged today, this is the good matter, you made me accompany the little four sons in the past, I had the big red packet to take, I must thank you.” “婶,你太客气了,小肆儿今天订婚,这是好事情,你让我陪小肆儿过去,我可是有大红包拿的,我还要谢你呢。” leaf Rongyao smiles said. 叶荣耀笑笑地说道。 „, The aunt child must certainly give you to wrap a big red packet.” “等回来,婶子肯定也要给你包一个大红包的。” The little four son mothers smile to say with a smile. 小肆儿母亲笑笑道。 „Glorious elder brother, you come.” “荣耀哥,你来的。” Hears the leaf glory the sound, the little four sons come out from the room, said to the leaf glory. 听到叶荣耀的声音,小肆儿从屋里出来,对叶荣耀说道。 „Good that little four sons put on today, is very charming.” “小肆儿今天穿的不错,很帅气啊。” leaf Rongyao looked waited eagerly for the little four sons of black suit to say. This is the first time that the leaf glory saw the little four sons to wear the suit, feels good, is very charming. 叶荣耀看了一眼穿着黑色西装的小肆儿说道。这还是叶荣耀第一次见小肆儿穿西装,觉得挺好,挺帅气。 „Really, I always think that some are not familiar with.” “真的,我总是觉得有些不习惯。” The little four sons said. Usually , the little four sons basically do not wear the western-style clothes, this time wears the western-style clothes, some how always thinks are not right. 小肆儿说道。平日里,小肆儿基本上都不穿西服,这一时间穿上西服,怎么地总觉的有些不对劲。 „Slowly on be used to it, I just married the time, just like you, how wears the western-style clothes is not familiar with, now was much better.” “慢慢就习惯了,我刚结婚的时候,跟你一样,穿西服怎么地都不习惯,现在好多了。” leaf Rongyao said. Before the marriage, the leaf glory never wears the western-style clothes, but after the marriage, the custom wore the western-style clothes slowly. 叶荣耀说道。在没有结婚前,叶荣耀是从来不穿西服的,不过结婚后,就慢慢地习惯穿西服了。 „Glory came, today is laborious you.” “荣耀来了,今天辛苦你了。” The little four son's father also came out from the room at this time, said to the leaf glory. 小肆儿的父亲这时候也从屋里出来,对叶荣耀说道。 „Uncle, should not be polite with me, when can?” “叔,你们就不要跟我客气了,什么时候可以出发啊？” leaf Rongyao asked. After all now nine points, this engagement must go to the bride's side home earlier, after all many bride's side family/home relatives have not seen this bridegroom, definitely has must ask. 叶荣耀问道。毕竟现在都九点了,这订婚要早点去女方家,毕竟很多女方家亲戚都没有见过这位新姑爷,肯定有很多要问的。 „Now almost can walk.” The little four son's mother said. “现在差不多就可以走了。”小肆儿的母亲说道。 Several people together, quick the Audi q7 trunk that in all bridegroom's gifts to bride's family move, naturally part could not have put down, places on the back seat. 几个人一起,很快就把所有的彩礼都搬上的奥迪q7的后备箱里,当然还有一部分放不下的,就放在后座上。 „Glory, you help under the aunt attention, on wicker basket the birthday noodles of that attire red bag, color tip in inside red packet.” “荣耀,你帮婶婶注意下,箩筐上那个装红袋子的寿面,彩礼钱都在里面的红包里。” Waits for the thing to move the car(riage), the little four son's mother draws the leaf glory to secretly confesses to say at the same time low voice. After all 70,000-80,000 color tips in inside, do not feel relieved. 等东西都搬上车,小肆儿的母亲把叶荣耀偷偷地拉到一边小声交代道。毕竟70,000-80,000的彩礼钱都在里面啊,不放心啊。 „Good, I will pay attention.” leaf Rongyao nods to say. “好的,我会注意的。”叶荣耀点点头说道。 The color tip of this engagement, basically gave on the same day of engagement, is brought the bridegroom's first visiting time by the matchmaker gives, placed in the birthday noodles to use the red bag to think. 这订婚的彩礼钱,基本上都是在订婚的当天给的,是由媒婆带着新姑爷第一次上门的时候给的,放在寿面里用红色的袋子装着。 Area min state this people in words that give a present, always likes taking the birthday noodles, because the birthday noodles are very long, is indicating the long-time meaning in people opinion. 在玟州这一带人们送礼的话,总喜欢带上寿面,因为寿面很长,在人们看来寓意着长长久久的意思。 This celebrates a birthday delivers the birthday noodles, means the long life, this engagement delivers the birthday noodles, means that the future marriage will be long-time. 这过寿送寿面,意味着长命百岁,这订婚送寿面,意味着将来的婚姻长长久久。 „Aunt, you could rest assured that I knew.” “婶,你放心,我晓得。” leaf Rongyao said. After all the matter of this money really must be careful, elderly man laborious half a lifetime deposits these money, is not really easy, even some borrow from others. 叶荣耀说道。毕竟这钱的事情真的是要小心点,老人家辛辛苦苦半辈子存这些钱,真的不容易,甚至有些还是向别人借的。 „Has you to accompany, I felt relieved.” “有你陪着,我就放心。” The little four son's mother said. Before who can think that this leaf glory by the village person being looked down upon, now became in the village to be possible the character of number. 小肆儿的母亲说道。以前谁又能想到这个被村子人瞧不起的叶荣耀,现在成了村里可数的人物呢。 The family/home of bride's side is located the northwest corner of small town, drives to take the dozen minutes probably, after all drives on the provincial road, this speed is fast, quickly. 女方的家位于小镇的西北角,开车过去大概要十几分钟,毕竟是在省道上开车,这速度想快,也快不起来。 „You called the leaf the glory, was this car(riage) your?” “你叫叶荣耀,这车是你的？” Sits in matchmaker Aunt king of back seat looks curiously the leaf glory asked. In famous the matchmaker as the town/subdues, Aunt king may have what experience old woman, understanding that the expensive car looks. 坐在后座的媒婆王大娘好奇地看着叶荣耀问道。作为镇里有名气的媒婆,王大娘可不是没有什么见识的老妇女,豪车还是看的懂的。 Aunt king knows, in county, is such expensive expensive car that few big bosses can open. 王大娘可是知道,就是在县城里,也是没有几位大老板能开的起这么昂贵的豪车的。 It looks like in matchmaker Aunt king, this glory absolutely is the powerful stock, is worth under oneself understanding the material. 在媒婆王大娘看来,这叶荣耀绝对是个强力股,值得自己多了解下资料。 Must know that in so many peers, why oneself do best, is in the entire town/subdues the most famous matchmaker, the usual effort, goes to these nubile young male bride's families to sit in the final analysis frequently, under the care their weddings, under the understanding their demands, are assigning the right being on intimate terms object. 要知道在那么多同行里,自己为什么做的最好,是整个镇上最出名的媒婆,说到底还是自己平时的努力,经常去那些适婚的年轻男女家坐坐,关心下他们的婚事,了解下他们的需求,在指定合适的相亲对象。 Was more than ten years of matchmaker, Aunt king is clear, bride's sides basically want to marry the rich groom's family, old, has perhaps divorced, if the family is very well-off , many girls are willing to marry. 做了十几年媒婆,王大娘非常清楚,基本上的女方都想嫁给有钱的男方,年龄大一点,或许离过婚的,如果家境很好的话,也是有很多女孩子愿意嫁的。 More importantly, this wealthy families, so long as this marriage did successfully, this red packet will not be definitely small, therefore was the matchmaker, most liked acting as a matchmaker to the wealthy families. 更重要的,这有钱人家,只要这亲事做成功了,这红包肯定不会小的,所以做媒人,最喜欢就是给有钱人家做媒。