DTYWIWMS :: Volume #10

#9: ruin world's prime culprit

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„I become famous young, the 19 year has attained the nomination of Oscar best male supporting actor. This is many person struggle life the goal that is hard to hope to attain.” In Los Angeles Beverly Hills, wears a gray T-shirt and large size sand beach trousers and person character drags, dispirited and greasy middle-aged uncle image Leonardo drunken probably thought aloud. “我年少成名,十九岁就拿到了奥斯卡最佳男配角的提名。这是许多人奋斗一生都难以企及的目标。”在洛杉矶的比弗利山庄内,穿着一件灰色T恤和大号沙滩裤与人字拖,一副颓废而油腻的中年大叔形象的里昂纳多正醉醺醺的好像自言自语。 Actually he did not think aloud, is also including his words in his front small tape recorders. 其实他并不是自言自语,在他的面前还有一个小小的录音机正在收录他的话。 „Later several years, my deductive profession starts gradually steps the peak. I must acknowledge that meets to pat correctly, but also is the most wrong decision that «The Titanic» is I does my entire life.” “之后几年,我的演绎生涯开始一步一步的迈上巅峰。我必须承认接拍《泰坦尼克号》是我一生做的最正确,但是同时也是最错误的决定。” „Said that it correct is because this movie made me be popular in entire world. Even goes to the Brazil rain forest exploration to have the local area indigenous to recognize me. Belch ~ ~ ~” Leonardo spoke of here to hit a liquor belch. “说它正确是因为这部电影让我红遍了全世界。甚至去巴西雨林探险都能有当地土著认出我来。嗝~~~”里昂纳多说到这里打了一个酒嗝。 „It makes me successful, but also cut off me to want that to arrive at the performance profession highest award item the road ahead. Actor who yes, the appraisals of Oscar discriminate against my this commercial big piece. They like looking that these superstar were suffered anything in the movie repeatedly. So long as acts the leading role in a such mainstream business big piece, these stubborn old fogies will remember you for a lifetime, paste on to you 【Idol actor, does not have performing skill】 Label, and opportunity of never to you casting off.” “它让我大红大紫,但是也断绝了我想要那到表演生涯最高奖项的前路。是的,奥斯卡的评审们歧视我这种商业大片的演员。他们就是喜欢看那些大明星们在电影里被反复折磨什么的。而只要主演一部这样的主流商业大片,那些顽固的老家伙就会记住你一辈子,给你贴上【偶像演员,没有演技】的标签,并且永远不给你摘掉的机会。” „Although then I gained was more a lot of money, and was famous. However I am hard that award item that in any event attains me most to want: Oscars!” “然后虽然我赚了很多很多很多钱,并且非常有名。但是我无论如何都难以拿到我最想要的那个奖项:奥斯卡小金人！” „Must know, I have attained the nomination of Oscar best male supporting actor from 1994! That is in 1994! To attain the award item of Oscar best male lead corner/horn, I tried hard to struggle to exceed the 20 year!” Leonardo has filled a Vodka ruthlessly, he seems is drunk was even more fierce. “要知道,我从1994年就拿到过奥斯卡最佳男配角的提名！那是1994年！而为了拿到奥斯卡最佳男主角的奖项,我努力奋斗了超过二十年！”里昂那多狠狠的灌了口伏特加,他看上去醉的越发的厉害了。 „To win this prize, I maltreat oneself unceasingly. Fat was also thin, thin was also fat. When enduring photograph various movies inhuman suffering. Finally, finally! I have attained my long-awaited thing finally, I have spent the 20 year!” Leonardo speaks from the oneself tea table has taken up a shining trophy. “为了拿到这个奖,我不断的虐待自己。胖了又瘦,瘦了又胖。一次次的忍受拍摄各种电影时的非人折磨。终于,终于！我终于拿到了我梦寐以求的东西,我花了二十年啊！”里昂那多说着话从自己的茶几上拿起了一尊金灿灿的奖杯。 This was represents the global movie actor highest honor symbolic — — Oscars, «The Revenant» that Leonardo played makes him attain the award item of best male lead corner/horn finally. 这是代表全球电影演员最高荣誉的象征——奥斯卡小金人,里昂那多出演的《荒野猎人》终于让他拿到了最佳男主角的奖项。 Leonardo drank, he with then held the bosom to cry in the hand the trophy, the flab on belly because of extruding to have formed the Shar-Pei same shape one after another. 里昂那多喝多了,他把奖杯拿在手上然后抱进了怀里失声痛哭,肚皮上的赘肉因为挤压而形成了一圈一圈的沙皮狗一样的形态。 „Wū wū ~ I attained Oscar finally, day! I attained Oscar finally!” Leonardo cries is the same with the tears person, the big big tears have delimited from his greasy face: „I received many pain! But I finally attained!” Was saying these words, Leonardo put the trophy looked at carefully a while at present carefully. Then holds the trophy to start to wail. “呜呜呜~我终于拿到奥斯卡了,天呐！我终于拿到奥斯卡了！”里昂那多哭的和泪人一样,大颗大颗的眼泪从他油腻的脸庞划过:“我受了多少的苦啊！可是我终于拿到了！”说着这些话,里昂那多又把奖杯放到眼前仔细端详了一会儿。接着又抱着奖杯开始嚎啕大哭。 „But I just now attain the trophy shortly after! Why extraterrestrial came, moreover can attack Earth?! I am Oscar film emperor, I just became Oscar film emperor more than one year! Why wants me facing such matter?” Leonardo is a little unable to accept the reality. “可是我才刚拿到奖杯没多久啊！为什么外星人就来了,而且还要攻打地球？！我是奥斯卡影帝啊,我才刚刚当上奥斯卡影帝一年多而已啊！为什么就要我面对这样的事情？”里昂那多有点无法接受现实。 „I have not performed in movie history am more, enough lets the work that my history left a good name. Also, this year the new dense supermodel I have not soaked to several. Can I such die? Wū wū ~” Leonardo cries is very sad. “我还没有在电影史上演出更多的,足够让我青史留名的作品。还有,今年新加入的维密超模我还没有泡到几个。我怎么可以就这么死了？呜呜呜~”里昂那多哭的很伤心。 However as Oscar film emperor, the Leonardo mentality is actually better than the average person. Before the war of Saturn ended, he has adjusted the oneself condition. He went to bathroom washing the face to make oneself calm, and sobered up. 不过作为奥斯卡影帝,里昂那多的心态其实比一般人好很多。在土星之战结束之前,他就已经调整好了自己的状态。他去卫生间洗了把脸让自己冷静了下来,并且醒了醒酒。 He later holds appreciatively the tape recorder that oneself had just recorded, Leonardo continues was reading broken: „, Just that segment words do not write down. Must remember, if extraterrestrial invaded Earth a while. I must bury completely these, leaves the later generation to know. Leonardo is a how outstanding actor.” 他之后把玩了一下自己刚刚录音的录音机,里昂纳多继续的碎碎念着:“唔,刚刚的那段话要记下来。一定要记下来,如果等会儿外星人侵略地球了。我要把这些全部埋起来,留给后人知道。里昂那多是多么出色的一名演员。” Processed the beforehand recording audio frequency, Leonardo returns to the oneself room to look for one appropriate western-style clothing to exchange to oneself. 处理完之前的录音音频,里昂那多回到自己的房间找了一套得体的西装给自己换上。 „Wú, damn. Probably the waist of shirt has been short of one centimeter, I thought that somewhat was stretching my belly.” Difficult putting on shirt. “唔,该死。好像衬衣的腰围少了一厘米,我觉得有些绷着我的肚子了。”艰难的穿上衬衫。 „Hū ~ to be good, the size of pants was good, was the pants crotch is a little tight. A while cannot make an effort, will otherwise operate the crotch.” Also calculates that has worn pants smoothly. “呼~还好,裤子的尺寸还行,就是裤裆有点紧。等会儿不能用力,不然会开裆。”还算顺利的穿上了裤子。 „Can match the leisure western-style clothing fortunately, compared with loose will not make me feel that uncomfortable.” At least the coat is very comfortable. “还好可以配休闲西装,比较宽松一点不会让我觉得那么难受。”至少外套还是很舒服的。 Was giving oneself to make a hairstyle, has wiped a gel, finally was wearing pretty black leather shoes. Greasy middle-aged male personal image instantaneously became charming. 在给自己做了个发型,抹了点发胶,最后在穿上一双漂亮的黑皮鞋。原本油腻的中年男人形象瞬间变得帅气了起来。 „I must take some portrait photos again, then also has the trophy that these pictures I obtain, as well as just that excerpt, on I performed the work to bury in addition splendidly completely underground. Hopes has the successor to excavate, looks like we detected that the Code of Hammurabi is the same. I do not prepare a titanium-gold alloy seal box.” “我要再去拍一些写真照,然后把这些照片还有我获得的奖杯,以及刚刚的那段录音,外加上我出色的演出作品全部都埋进地下。希望有后来人能够发掘出来,就像是我们发觉出汉谟拉比法典一样。唔,我还要去准备一个钛金合金的密封盒子。” In order to let oneself not along with contour invasion, but was ruined together thoroughly, Leonardo thinks through a matter. He one all day east busy busy west, even does not have the cell phone that the time brushes him most to love. Now he only thinks how is can leave a good name to posterity the hundred world the oneself reputation. 为了让自己的身后名不随着外形入侵而一起被彻底毁掉,里昂那多用心良苦。他一整天都在忙东忙西,甚至都没有时间刷他最爱的手机。他现在唯一想的就是如何能把自己的名声流芳百世。 When lives similarly in Los Angeles Tony Stark looks for him( Tony lives in the Los Angeles Malibu seacoast), Leonardo is photographing an end small video, is used to introduce crisis anything that now Earth faces. And has shown before the disaster approaches Earthling final mentality anything. 当同样住在洛杉矶的托尼-史塔克找上他的时候（托尼住在洛杉矶的马里布海岸）,里昂那多正在拍摄一段末日小视频,用来介绍现在地球所面临的危机什么的。并且展现了在大难来临前地球人最后的心态什么的。 It can be said that this performance is the peak of his life, the performance of far ultra Oscars winner average standard. 可以说这一段表演是他人生的巅峰,远超奥斯卡小金人得主平均水准的表演。 „Robert Downey Jr.? You pass through the gate needs to knock on a door to obtain permission of owner, hasn't your father taught your basic politeness?!” Leonardo somewhat is astonished in Tony Stark of oneself regarding appear suddenly, he thinks that the person lives in Downey of oneself next door. “小罗伯特-唐尼？你进门的时候需要敲门获得主人的允许,你的父亲没有教会你基本的礼貌吗？！”里昂那多对于突然出现在自己家的托尼-斯塔克有些讶异,他以为来人是住在自己隔壁的唐尼。 Because Downey has played «Iron Man» has fought a turnaround, when the water rises, the boat does too he can afford the Beverly Hills mansion, and has become the Leonardo neighbor. 因为唐尼出演了《钢铁侠》打了一场翻身仗,水涨船高的他又能买得起比弗利山庄的豪宅了,并且成了里昂那多的邻居。 „I am not Robert Downey Jr.!” Tony Stark helpless shaking the head, because of «Iron Man» screening. Now many people could not distinguish clearly difference between him and Downey. This also needs to give credit to the Hollywood splendid putting on make-up technology. “我不是小罗伯特-唐尼！”托尼-斯塔克无奈的摇头,因为《钢铁侠》的上映。现在不少人分不清他和唐尼之间的差别了。这也需要归功于好莱坞出色的化妆技术。 „I am Tony Stark!” Tony rubbish, he has indicated the status and purpose in coming directly: „Leonardo DiCaprio mister, I the important matters need you to help now.” “我是托尼-斯塔克！”托尼没有废话,他直接表明了身份和来意:“里昂那多-迪卡普里奥先生,我现在有一件重要的事情需要你来帮忙。” „Ha! Downey, your performing skill was even more splendid. Said that you did wallow in Tony this role really cannot walk? Gives up, but opposite party Iron Man of genuine. How he definitely is one group of scientists treats now in the same place is busy calculating can save Earth, saves world. Possibly how to have free time here?” Leonardo said that these simply paid no attention to Tony, he continued to carry on the oneself final performance in front of the lens. “哈！唐尼,你的演技越发的出色了。还是说你真的沉迷于托尼这个角色中走不出来了？放弃吧,对方可是货真价实的钢铁侠。他现在肯定是和一群科学家待在一起忙着计算怎么样才能拯救地球,拯救世界呢。怎么可能有空来我这里？”里昂那多说完这些干脆不理托尼了,他继续在镜头前进行自己最后的表演。 „Hū ~” the Tony strong point the one breath, he patted the watch also saying: „Jarvis, wears armor.” Tony seems like the normal intelligent watch turns into the black liquid to crawl to fill his body instantaneously. Only needs one of the merely second very, black gold nano armor has put on. “呼~”托尼长处了一口气,他拍了拍手表并且说道:“贾维斯,着甲。”托尼看似正常的智能手表瞬间化成黑色的液体爬满他的身体。仅仅只需要十分之一秒钟,黑金纳米战甲已经穿着完毕。 Was shorter than a head Tony Stark after putting on war armor was higher than a head Leonardo Leonardo, he looks at Leonardo to speak of exhaltedly: „Now believed that DiCaprio mister? I truly am Tony Stark, Iron Man oneself.” 原本还比里昂那多矮一个头的托尼-史塔克在穿好战甲后比里昂那多高了一头,他居高临下的看着里昂那多说到:“现在相信了吗,迪卡普里奥先生？我确实是托尼-斯塔克,钢铁侠本人。” Had a scare by appear Iron Man suddenly, Leonardo continued to perform continually has forgotten, his tone had asking of some doubts: „Are you unexpectedly real Tony Stark? Your why appear in my this? Shouldn't you save world?” 被突然出现的钢铁侠吓了一跳,里昂那多连继续表演都忘记了,他语气有一些疑惑的问道:“你居然是真的托尼-斯塔克？你为什么出现在我这？你不是应该去拯救世界吗？” „Yes, I truly am saving world, therefore I came.” Tony nodded. “是啊,我确实是在拯救世界,所以我来了。”托尼点了点头。 Leonardo:??? 里昂那多:？？？ „Because we suspected now, your stature and appearance may be one of the ruin Earth's prime culprits. Therefore follows one me!” Iron Man so said. “因为我们现在怀疑,你的身材和容貌有可能是毁灭地球的元凶之一。所以跟我走一趟吧！”钢铁侠如此说道。 But Leonardo:???!!! 而里昂那多:？？？！！！
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