**************************************************************************************** **************************************************************************************** „You were needless to say again, your goal was the spider forest, I said right.” Throws out the chest to take big strides, both hands hug horizontally, I to look through all sharp looks and great physique, is looking out the sewer intriguingly that just like intersection of labyrinth. “你不用再说了,你的目标是蜘蛛森林,我说的对吧。”挺胸阔步,双手横抱,我以看破一切的锐利眼神和伟岸身姿,瞭望着下水道那错综复杂宛若迷宫的十字路口。 „Is this right.” The spider young lady's voice is somewhat sad,...... made an inevitable foolish matter that feeling probably? “是这样没错。”蜘蛛小姐的声音有些沉闷,就好像……做了一件不可避免的傻事那种感觉？ „You to explained that since knows that must go to the spider forest, why will go to this stinking place!” Small female dragon holds one's nose, is clutching my collar single-handedly, sways fiercely. “那你到是解释解释,既然知道要去蜘蛛森林,为什么会来到这种臭熏熏的地方！”小母龙一手捏着鼻子,一手揪着我的衣领,剧烈摇晃。 „You do not understand.” The melancholy look, has caressed the wall slowly motley that incomplete, black black hair green wall: „Here, remains the youth that I am elapsing.” “你不懂的。”忧郁的眼神,缓缓抚过墙壁那斑驳残缺,乌黑发绿的墙壁:“这里,残留着我逝去的青春。” „Said! People! Words!” “说！人！话！” „Simply speaking was the brain understood, the hand has not understood, minor mistake that the frequency of consciousness and physical body is unable the resonance to create.” “简单来说就是脑子懂了,手还没懂,意识和肉体的频率无法共鸣所造成的小小失误。” „Is this poor sense of direction latest quibbling excuse?” “这是路痴界的最新狡辩说辞么？” „Shut up, what did you understand poor sense of direction? Some sage had said like this, in this world this does not have poor sense of direction, looked the person who scenery were many, then became poor sense of direction!” “闭嘴,你又懂路痴什么了？某位贤者就曾经这样说过,这世上本没有路痴,看风景的人多了,也便成了路痴！” The spider young lady coughs lightly two: „Two, whether to go out to quarrel from here again?” 蜘蛛小姐轻咳两声:“二位,是不是能从这里出去再吵？” „Walks quickly walks quickly!” Small female dragon impatient urging. “快走快走！”小母龙不耐烦的催促。 „Favored, this time absolutely does not have the issue, leading you to take off!” Single-handedly is pulling Evil Dragon, an index finger middle finger gathers, presses in the volume heart place, Teleport! “看好了,这次绝对没有问题,带你们起飞！”一手牵着恶龙蕾娜,一手食指中指并拢,摁在额心处,瞬移！ The gloomy bloody palace, the projection of we and model worker a corner met the love. 阴森血腥的宫殿,我们和劳模的投影来了个转角遇到爱。 Quick-witted such as I, immediately changes into a serious expression: „Favored, he/she Ms. Lian, I lead you to come to here, then must make you see, the present big fellow, is we biggest enemy!” 机智如我,立刻换成一副严肃表情:“看好了,伊丽安女士,我带你来这里,便是要让你看到,眼前的大家伙,是我们最大的敌人！” „Invited, I thought that I should understand Mephisto compared with you, had about its all exposed information outside, I understood clearly in chest/heart.” “谢邀,吾觉得吾应该比你更了解墨菲斯托,有关于它的一切暴露在外的信息,吾都了然于胸。” „You said, its name altogether how many radicals?” I thought that today's simply are small smart, such difficult problem...... “那你说说,它的名字一共有多少笔画？”我觉得今天的自己简直就是个小机灵,这样的难题都…… „44 pictures.” The spider young lady second answered. “四十四画。”蜘蛛小姐秒答。 „......” “……” Lost below. 是在下输了。 „he/she Ms. Lian, congratulates you, you had adopted my test successfully, now, lets the place that I lead you to go to should go.” Does not wait for small female dragon to complain the output, I hold hands again, press the volume heart, Teleport, continual Teleport, this time can certainly be good! “伊丽安女士,恭喜你,你已经成功通过了我的考验,现在,就让我带领你去该去的地方。”不等小母龙吐槽输出,我再次牵手,摁住额心,瞬移,连续瞬移,这次一定能行！ Un, is here...... the Huangpu River underwater luxurious villa? 嗯,这里是……黄浦江水下豪华别墅？ In the line of sight, one flock of frightened fish are spitting the froth, fast since the side passed over gently and swiftly, I emitted the new question, is deliberately considering the new explanation. 视线中,一群受惊的鱼儿吐着泡泡,飞快从身边掠过,我冒出了新的疑问,寻思着新的解释。 The head silent surfaces, saw the familiar face unexpectedly. 脑袋无声浮出水面,竟然又看到了熟悉的面孔。 „Meow, is the cousin, I also think that is what water monster braved, what in your running water made meow?” “喵,是表哥啊,我还以为是什么水怪冒出来来了,你跑水里去做什么喵？” „Should be I asked that you are right, didn't you return to the bar to go? Ouna?” “应该是我问你才对,你不是回酒吧去了么？碧丝欧娜呢？” „Meow, they first went back, the halfway happen to ran into the teacher, wants to consult one with the teacher meow.” poor|Fei referred to standing opposite of her, is leaning on strange staff, wore the outlandish clothes, the bald tattoo, was half black, the fellow of doubtful A San clergy. “喵,她们先回去了,半路正好遇到了老师,想跟老师请教一番喵。”菲妮指了指站在她对面,一个拄着古怪法杖,穿着奇装异服,光头纹身,半黑不黑,疑似阿三僧侣的家伙。 Diablo world funny artist founder Aumas. 正是暗黑世界搞笑艺人界的祖师爷奥玛斯。 „Cousin also comes to study together, becomes the top funny artist diligently meow.” poor|Fei sends out the party invitation. “表哥也来一起学习,努力成为顶级的搞笑艺人喵。”菲妮发出组队邀请。 „Not.” “不了不了不了。” It is fortunate that Aumas is here head, many must to him several points of face, otherwise I must give everyone to perform a cousin swallow alive flame spiked club unique skill at the scene. 得亏奥玛斯是这里的负责人,多少要给他几分面子,不然我当场就要给大家表演一个表妹生吞火焰狼牙棒的绝活。 „Teacher Oslund, I and cousins wants to become stronger meow!” “奥斯玛老师,我和表哥都想变得更强喵！” „Listened, wanted to become the top funny artist, was not that simple matter, your road ahead covered entirely the thorn!” “听好了菲妮,想要成为顶级的搞笑艺人,可不是那么简单的事情,你的前路布满荆棘！” „......” “……” This master and disciple disregarded my opinion, started arbitrarily. 这师徒俩无视了我的意见,擅自就开始了。 „, Has completed the determination that has not succeeded then dies for a righteous cause meow.” poor|Fei gets hold of the fist, in the look is burning the fighting spirit, making me want to play the suona to refuel for her air-blowing in the one side. “菲妮,已经做好了不成功便成仁的决心喵。”菲妮握紧拳头,眼神里燃烧着斗志,让我都不禁想在一旁吹着唢呐为她鼓气加油。 You think to look, if were defeated, I do not need to trade the musical instrument, can continue to give her to blow not? 你想想看,万一失败了,我连乐器都不用换,可以继续给她吹下去不是么？ „Very good, is this imposing manner, teaches you for the master today move of new move of —— unexpectedly, is simply speaking before the brain of audience responded ejects smiles, to achieve the best program effect, what then this move of most appropriate smiling point is? A character, contrast.” “很好,就是这股气势,为师今天就教你一招新招——出其不意,简单来说就是要在观众的大脑反应过来之前抛出笑点,以达到最佳的节目效果,那么这招最合适的笑点是什么呢？一个字,反差。” poor|Fei un un nod, while takes the note crazily, I was also shocked, this guidance unexpectedly accidental/surprised propriety. 菲妮一边嗯嗯点头,一边狂做笔记,我也惊呆了,这教导竟然意外的正经。 „At present has a best example.”, Oslund's staff aimed at also in water us suddenly. “眼前就有一个最好的例子。”冷不丁的,奥斯玛的法杖指向了还在水中的我们。 „Suddenly braves from the water, has fully conformed to the unexpected essential factor, so long as we simple increases the beautification of some language and expression, can make the good progress, for example, is the sacred ceremony of summon big dragon, aiyaya, unexpectedly from magic array another side water, emerging the two potato was greatly bald!” “忽然从水里冒出来,已经完全符合出其不意的要素,我们只要简单的增加一些语言和表情的修饰,就能取得不错的效果,比如说,本来是召唤巨龙的神圣仪式,哎呀呀,竟然是从魔法阵另外一边的水里,浮出了两个土豆大光头！” I: „......” 我:“……” : „......” 蕾奥娜:“……” „Meow hahahaha!!! The ceremony of summon big dragon bald came out unexpectedly meow haha to summon the potato!!!” poor|Fei bursts out laughing, smiled being unable to restrain oneself. “喵哈哈哈哈哈！！！召唤巨龙的仪式竟然是把土豆光头给召唤出来了喵哈哈！！！”菲妮捧腹,笑的不能自已。 Funny? I feel same. 好笑么？我觉得一般般吧。 The most important thing is, I want to know now very much, can seem like so brave today, how many minute/share of merit Aumas did you occupy? 最重要的是,我现在想很知道,菲妮之所以能像今天那么勇,奥玛斯你到底占据了几分功劳？ „Lifts a chestnut to you again, the thing on my hand, you guess that what it is?” Aumas held appreciatively his person of high strange staff. “再给你举个栗子,我手上的这玩意,你猜猜它是什么？”奥玛斯又把玩起了他那一人多高的奇异法杖。 „Is teacher your staff of meow.” poor|Fei simple and honest honest one batch. “是老师你的法杖喵。”菲妮憨厚老实的一批。 „Yes, at first sight it is my staff, but actually, it is...... angry eye opens the eyes unexpectedly”, Aumas holds up staff high, then falls gently, on the stick sharp water chestnut blew gently several on the smooth head. “是的,乍一看它是我的法杖,但其实,它竟然是……”怒眼一睁,奥玛斯将法杖高高举起,而后轻轻落下,杖头上的尖菱在光滑的脑袋上轻轻刮了几下。 „It unexpectedly is a comb!” “它竟然是一把梳子！” „Meow the hahaha comb...... meow ha...... is actually comb Teacher haha...... however Aumas...... ha...... you do not have the hair meow.” poor|Fei smiles out of breath. “喵哈哈哈梳子……喵哈……竟然是梳子哈哈哈……但是奥玛斯老师……哈……你没有头发呀喵。”菲妮笑的上气不接下气。 „Good that this issue asked that therefore it was not an ordinary comb, but was one comb that had the mysterious ability.” “这个问题问的好,所以它并不是一把普通的梳子,而是一把具备了神奇能力的梳子。” „What mysterious ability meow?” “什么神奇的能力喵？” „It can, when you comb the hair, helped you shaving the hair while convenient.” Aumas show package of continuations of fiddle with several on the head with staff, a tone of television advertisement host. “它可以在你梳头的时候,顺便帮你把头发给剃了。”奥玛斯骚包的继续用法杖在脑袋上捣鼓几下,一副电视广告主持人的口吻。 „So long as has used this comb, can get it over and done, has it, you no longer needed any other combs, from the birth to the death, it even can help you save shampoo for a lifetime!” “只要用过这把梳子,就能一劳永逸,有了它,你不再需要其他任何梳子,从出生到死亡,它甚至能帮你节约一辈子的洗发水！” „Day, then unexpectedly mysterious meow.” “天呐,竟然那么神奇喵。” „But, God does not allow the so perfect appliance to appear, therefore it was cursed.” Aumas's look suddenly gloomy low-spirited. “但是,上帝是绝不允许如此完美的器具出现的,所以它被诅咒了。”奥玛斯的眼神忽然阴郁黯然。 „Is anything curses, I am just also thinking sells to the cousin meow!” “到底是什么诅咒,我刚刚还想着向表哥推销喵！” poor|Fei calls out in alarm, making me clench teeth in secret, your dying false mother, looks forward to me to increase baldly, goes back to give the master to crawl! 菲妮一声惊呼,让我暗中咬牙,你这死伪娘,巴不得我变大光头是吧,回去给爷爬！ „This curse is......” Oslund is silent, gave everyone silent the answer. “这个诅咒就是……”奥斯玛沉默下来,沉默给了大家答案。 His bald head, „comb” had blown a moment ago the place, spurts intermittent blood fog. 他的光头脑袋,“梳子”刚才刮过的地方,喷起一阵阵血雾。 „Too was difficult to use, naturally, if you can proficiently grasp it like me, can fall to ignore the might of curse, like the present.” Aumas's calm pulling out handkerchief, dries the blood splash of whole face, said. “就是太难用了,当然,如果你能像我这样熟练掌握它,就能把诅咒的威力降到忽略不计,就像现在。”奥玛斯淡定的掏出手帕,擦干满脸的血花,说道。 That with fearing not to blow for the first time jellied bean curd, is your comb this tonsuring or surpassing? 那第一次用怕不是得把豆腐花刮出来嗷,你梳子这到底是在剃度还是超度？ „That side doesn't adventurer, really come one?” Aumas squatting lower part of the body, handed over toward me wand suddenly, in side excited excited, the fist brandishes to keep, wishing one could to displace. “那边的冒险者哟,真的不来一根吗？”奥玛斯冷不丁蹲下身,将手杖朝我递了过来,菲妮在旁一脸兴奋激动,拳头挥舞个不停,恨不得能取而代之。 „Cousin cousin, had it, you can become the true funny artist meow!” “表哥表哥,有了它,你就能成为真正的搞笑艺人了喵！” I looked at a Aumas of face anticipation, looked at look excited, looks at each other one with gradually Evil Dragon who the look loses the gloss again. 我看了看一脸期待的奥玛斯,看了看神色激动的菲妮,再和眼神渐渐失去光泽的恶龙蕾娜对视一眼。 Did not say a word, the two potato head sank from the water surface. 一言不发的,两个土豆脑袋自水面沉了回去。 This account, we go back to calculate again. 这笔账,咱回去再算。 Teleport, walks...... pū! 瞬移,走……噗喔！ In the water, a small female dragon hook, center the lower abdomen, hit I entire bend ruthlessly. 水中,小母龙狠狠一记勾拳,正中小腹,打的我整个弓起。 However Teleport has started. 然而瞬移已经发动了。 Then ended, must to the strange place by teleportation! 这下完了,要被传送到奇怪的地方去了！ At present a flower, I and three pairs of green and glossy compound eyes, many stared few eyes. 眼前一花,我和三对绿油油的复眼,多眼瞪起了少眼。 The flowered green spider of this calf size, how many steps withdraws, offers the half animal corpse under leg, seems is inviting me to have the dinner together? 这只牛犊大小的花绿蜘蛛,退后几步,献出腿下的半截动物尸体,好似在邀请我一起共进晚餐？ Here, is not convenient, or...... did I ask under you Hell to eat? 这里啊,不方便吧,要不……还是我请你下地狱去吃？ At this moment, the spider young lady drilled from the shadow, reveals expression that is survivor of disaster: „Very good, finally to destination.” 就在这时,蜘蛛小姐从影子里钻了出来,露出劫后余生的表情:“很好,总算到了目的地。” With its appearance, present flowered green spider, as well as all around every large or small spider, even perhaps is the spider of entire region, lies to bend down all in the place, what is ruler, what is the ostentation, this and that's the end. 随着它的现身,眼前的花绿蜘蛛,以及四周大大小小的蜘蛛,甚至或许是整个区域的蜘蛛,尽数趴伏在地,什么叫王者,什么叫排场,这就是了。 „Destination?” “目的地？” I and small female dragon Mangran looked at all around one, the cover forest, should still in Curras, a front not far Cave entrance, a giant spider drill half head from the place probably, opens dense mouth apparatus Swallow all fearsome appearances. 我和小母龙茫然看了四周一眼,茂密森林,应该还在库拉斯特,前方不远的一处洞窟入口,像是一匹巨型蜘蛛从地底下钻出半个脑袋,张开森然口器吞噬一切的可怖模样。 Reminds dead forest ruler that to fall the SAN value crazily the thing. 一眼就让人联想到死林统治者那个狂掉SAN值的玩意。 Does not need to guess, here is the spider forest, and entrance of spider cavern, the spider young lady's goal is this, to be honest is not as we expected. 不用猜,这里就是蜘蛛森林,以及蜘蛛洞穴的入口,蜘蛛小姐的目标是这样,老实说并不出乎我们的意料。 ...... 只是…… „Startled!” I and Evil Dragon also change colors. “惊了！”我和恶龙蕾娜同时失色。 „What startled are you startled?” I responded am quicker, the vicious dog first bit. “你惊什么惊？”我反应更快,恶狗先咬人。 „You walked right the place unexpectedly, what startled you were startled, is it possible that actually knows were oneself poor sense of direction?” Worthily is the small female dragon, had not led by the nose by me, this strikes very fatally, I must the combustion microcosm be able to hoodwink. “你竟然走对了地方,那你又惊什么惊,莫非其实知道自己是路痴？”不愧是小母龙,并没有被我牵着鼻子走,这一击很致命,我得燃烧小宇宙才能蒙混过去。 An eyeball revolution, sees the hand also to hold hands, I had the idea. 眼珠子一转,瞅见手还牵着手,我有了主意。 The palm grasps lifts, lifts to little mother Longtouding, having her turning circle circle of face ignorant circle, the old age square dance to walk, at the same time sang. 手心一握一抬,举到小母龙头顶,带着一脸懵圈的她转起了圈圈,老年广场舞走起,一边唱道。 „Salutes to shake hand, you are my good friend.” “敬了礼来握握手,你是我的好朋友。” Gave a perfect score for own quick-witted, I looked at the surroundings, can appreciate to the wisdom and song god strength of Savior simultaneously, you are this ten years of luckiest one generation. 为自己的机智打了个满分,我看了看周围,能同时欣赏到救世主的智慧以及久违的歌神实力,你们是这个十年最幸运的一代。 Well, the spider young lady you were, a moment ago was style model/pattern Er who ruler arrived, how to be taken bad like ten years of cerebral thrombus patient suddenly? 咦,蜘蛛小姐你这是咋了,刚才还是一副王者降临的气派范儿,怎么忽然就像十年脑血栓患者发病？ My curious in she shakes the hand at present, the spider young lady one startled one for the first time suddenly has gotten back one's composure, the big mouth gasps for breath, if I expect right, after this might is the cerebral thrombus patient sickness will send together , the medical circles miracle of success self-recovery. 我好奇的在她眼前晃了晃手,蜘蛛小姐一惊一乍的忽然回过神,大口喘气,如果我所料没错,这很有可能将会是一起脑血栓病人病发后成功自愈的医学界奇迹。 „Has the flash, I think that I am dying.” She has a lingering fear to say. “有一瞬间,吾以为吾要死了。”她心有余悸说道。 „I also thought so.” The cerebral thrombus was really fearful, the Prime Evil rank powerhouses could not even block unexpectedly. “我也这么觉得。”脑血栓真是太可怕了,竟然连魔神级强者都挡不住。 Doesn't believe? Super Saiyan can also die of the heart disease! 不信？超级赛亚人还能死于心脏病呢！ „I died 145 times in the world, this thinks that has experienced to cross all causes of death, has not thought that really almost also had the different experience.” “吾在人间死了一百四十五次,本以为已经见识过了所有的死法,未曾想到竟然差点又有了全新的体验。” „That may really be too regrettable.” I blurted a saying, immediately thinks this was not the incantation person dies, therefore changed a statement: „That may really be good.” Also thought that is inappropriate, how saying that is wrong, gives the heck to close one's eyes simply a to praise always right: „You very brave oh, in the future will be certainly more splendid.” “那可真是太遗憾了。”我脱口一说,随即想到这不是咒人去死么,于是改口:“那可真是太棒了。”又觉得还是不合适,怎么说都是错,干脆不管三七二十一闭眼点个赞总没错:“那你很勇噢,未来一定会更加精彩。” „Paced back and forth on the rope of death unceasingly, unexpectedly was this type of taste, frightening and love.” The spider young lady narrows the eyes to glance, seemed is savoring the cerebral thrombus? “不断在死亡的绳索上面徘徊,竟然是这种滋味,叫人恐惧而又迷恋。”蜘蛛小姐眯上眼,好似在品味着刚才的脑血栓？ Is many years of cerebral thrombus patient, the thought can always jumps worthily on the cerebellum and brain stem repeatedly horizontally. 不愧是多年脑血栓患者,思维总是能在小脑和脑干上面反复横跳。 „Wu Fan your excellency.” “吴凡阁下。” „Un?” “嗯？” „I have my presumptuous request.” “吾有一个不情之请。” „Said that looks.” “说说看。” „Whether to sing for me again one time...... not, was sings many several times, when I was well prepared.” “能否再为吾唱一次……不,是唱多几次,在吾做好充分准备的时候。” The words just became quiet, the spider young lady discovered that her pair of small hand, was closely wrapped by a pair of crude good-natured palm. 话刚落音,蜘蛛小姐发现自己的一双小手,被一双粗糙温厚的掌心给紧紧包裹起来。 „Wu Fan your excellency?” Its puzzled looked that to becomes a face to be solemn and respectful at present suddenly, the look shines brightly the person. “吴凡阁下？”它不解的看向眼前忽然变得一脸肃穆,眼神炯炯发亮之人。 „Do not call me Wu Fan your excellency.” I shake the head, raise up the index finger, compared with a keeping silent hand signal, grasped grasping that another hand made an effort, after high and low swayed several times, was firmly fixed. “别叫我吴凡阁下。”我摇摇头,竖起食指,比了一个噤声的手势,另外一只手更加用力的握了握,上下摆晃数次后,牢牢固定。 „Later please call my Comrade Wu Fan.” “以后请叫我吴凡同志。” „With your dead head/number of people with!” “同你个死人头啊同！” ... 。。。