LISIL :: Volume #4 野火

#394: Yuan Bao'er, Yuan Jin'er.

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, Returned to that snowy night suddenly.[ This article came from 恍然间,回到那个雪夜了。[本文来自 ] ] The cold air of whole body, the wind roars one after another, the goose feathers big snowflake, to was coldly extreme, the body will be instead hot, she pushed in the firewood pile does not agree comes out, seeing the empress to walk, wailed crying loudly: „Why is my Ah? why is not Elder Sister? Why is my Ah?” 周身的寒气一波一波的,风吼过来,鹅毛大的雪花,冷到极处了,身体反而会热起来,她挤在柴堆里不肯出来,看见娘娘走过来了,嚎啕大哭:“为什么是我啊？为什么不是姐姐？为什么是我啊？” That year her was five years old, but that issue, truly is she should ask. 那一年她五岁,但那个问题,确实是她该问的。 She long near the Jiangnan small fisherman village, actually does not hit the fishing to live, home has Elder Sister, below has Younger Brother, she is Elder Sister Younger Sister, Younger Brother Elder Sister, second. But why does not know, the place crop is good, the father the helper in the wealthy person Old Master workshop, home was getting more and more poor, only had five -year-old her by no means to understand these at that time. That person serrated edge second time the time of arriving at home, is that big snowy night, she ran, hides does not dare to go home in house Chaiduo, comes to her look until the empress. 她长在江南的小渔村边,却并非打渔为生,家里有个姐姐,下面有个弟弟,她是姐姐的妹妹,弟弟的姐姐,排行第二。但不知道为什么,地的收成还好,爹爹还在财主老爷的作坊里帮工,家里却越来越穷了,只有五岁的她当时并不明白这些。只是那个人牙子第二次来到家里的时候,便是那个大雪夜,她跑了出去,躲在房子外面的柴垛里不敢回家,直到娘娘过来要将她找回去。 „Why is my Ah?” “为什么是我啊？” She cries to ask, the home person had not said that but she knows anything. How does not know in the future, but oneself...... must be delivered. Although the home lots do not have, is very poor, but she knows, stays in home is best, is better than outside. 她哭着问,家里人没有说,可她就是知道一些什么。不知道未来会怎样,但自己……要被送出去。虽然家里很多东西都没有,很穷,可她还是知道,只有呆在家里是最好的,比外面都好。 She knows delivers will not be Younger Brother, but she does not understand why will not be Elder Sister, although her also by no means thinks that Elder Sister will leave...... the empress to hug her to cry saying: „Because you are intelligent, you are more intelligent than Elder Sister, you were intelligent, went out, had the means of livelihood compared with Elder Sister. Do not blame your father, you blame mother......” 她知道送的不会是弟弟,可她不明白为什么不是姐姐,虽然她也并不想姐姐离开……娘娘抱着她哭着说:“因为你聪明,你比姐姐聪明,你聪明,出去了,比姐姐有活路。你别怪你爹爹,你怪娘……” She has remembered mother that she who cried to say is quite intelligent. She sold out, hand over several times, sells in the brothel, trains and beats and scolds, full hunger, has an empty stomach. After several years, she was long a strip, the appearance was delicate, because was also intelligent, was raised delicious tastily, Teacher also has taught them the deportment education, taught them to study, four arts. 她一直记得母亲哭着说的那句她比较聪明。她被卖掉了,几次转手,卖到青楼里,训练、打骂,饱一顿饥一顿,饿肚子。过了几年,她长开了身条,样貌清秀,也因为聪明,被好吃好喝地养起来了,还有老师来教她们仪态教养,教她们念书,琴棋书画。 She has remembered when the father and empress, remember that heavy snow night. That you are quite intelligent, has the means of livelihood compared with Elder Sister. She understood truly these times, does not know that must hate the father and empress, at age 13, she made an appearance to entertain a guest as the clear keeper of the emperor's carriage quickly for the first time in the brothel. Quickly at age 15. The copper coin and broken money that her nearby accumulates, changed into a big silver silver piece finally, can looking straight at brothel mother treat finally, gives her time one opportunity that goes back to visit parents. 她一直记得爹爹和娘娘,记得那个大雪时的夜晚。那句你比较聪明,比姐姐有活路。她真正理解这些的时候,不知道是不是要恨爹爹和娘娘,快到13岁的时候,她在青楼中第一次作为清倌人露面待客。快到15岁时。她身边攒下的铜钱和碎银子,终于换成了一个大大的银元宝,也终于能够得到妓院妈妈的正眼相待,给她一次回去省亲的机会。 She remembers when then Aunt Yang to she said this matter the face on, only then looked disdainfully and satire expression, regarding the trivial female, Aunt Yang was always indifferent, in her heart also was afraid nothing more. Cannot understand the meaning in opposite party that eyes. In her both hands grasps, holds that silver piece, even asked the Goldwind House turtle slave uncle to rent a small carriage for her, went back, at that time she has not thought how actually faced the father and empress. Is hates them to forgive them, she is thinking the place she can want to understand, she can with that time mood, scold them to turn around to leave also no longer pays attention to them for a lifetime. Also or leaves behind Yuan Bao'er, turns around to leave. Henceforth does not pay attention to them for a lifetime. A silver piece, 52 money, sufficing the whole family used to be very long. 她记得当时的杨妈妈对她说这件事时脸上只有睥睨和讽刺的表情,对于没有价值的女子,杨妈妈一向是冷漠的,她心中也只有害怕而已。不能明白对方那一眼中的含义。她双手里握着、捧着那个元宝,甚至拜托金风楼的龟奴叔叔替她租了一辆小马车,一路回去,那时候她没有想好到底怎么面对爹爹和娘娘。是恨他们还是原谅他们,她想着到了地方她就能想明白,她可以凭着那时候的心情,骂完他们掉头离开一辈子也不再理会他们。又或者是将元宝儿留下,掉头离开。从此一辈子也不理会他们。一只元宝,五十两银子,够一家人用很久了。 But she cannot the opportunity of hatred or understanding. 可她没能得到憎恨或是谅解的机会。 The father went to chop firewood to the mountain on, plunged to death, Younger Brother had. the sickness, lends money with wealthy person Old Master, gets sick still had not actually cured, after Younger Brother died, the empress also died She remembered the empress saying that you were intelligent, perhaps had means of livelihood. 爹爹去到山上砍柴,摔死了,弟弟生了场病,跟财主老爷家借了钱,病却仍旧没有治好,弟弟死后,娘娘也死了。她想起娘娘说的,你聪明,也许有一条活路。 However Elder Sister married the son of wealthy person Old Master to become the concubine, now is also living. 不过姐姐嫁给了财主老爷家的儿子当小妾,如今也还活着。 Therefore she changed the clothes of from head to toe rural population, in the past looked for Elder Sister, she to Elder Sister had not said that she handled the matter of prostitute, in the backyard of wealthy person Old Master, Elder Sister had not asked some of her such years the experience, has said that is how she to struggle for favor with several other concubines now, watches the opposite party not pleasing to the eyes matter, mistreatment that she received, read the husbands of some books also the joyhouse in town/subdues to spend all day, this kind of that class matter. She has not stayed to noon walked, because the wealthy person Old Master son comes back, saw her, then the look somewhat changed, later Elder Sister looks at some own look also changes, starts to hesitate and guard. 于是她换了一身村人的衣裳,过去找姐姐,她没有跟姐姐说她做了妓女的事情,财主老爷家的后院里,姐姐没有问她这么些年来的经历,一直说的,是她如今跟其它几个小妾如何争宠,看对方不顺眼的事情,她受的欺负,读了些书的丈夫还整天在镇里的窑子花钱,这类那类的事情。她没有呆到中午就走了,因为财主老爷的儿子回来,看见了她,然后眼神就有些变了,之后姐姐看自己的眼神也有些变化,开始迟疑和提防起来。 She can become Queen of Flowers in Goldwind House afterward, the Elder Sister appearance is not bad, however for ten years the education became the difference, although she puts on dozen of patches the clothes, comes compared with Elder Sister, was too conspicuous, Elder Sister...... even somewhat feared that oneself remains to struggle for favor with her. She holds that only Yuan Bao'er, follows the group of turtle slave uncles to return to Goldwind House together, that small fisherman village, has not gone from then on again. 她后来能够在金风楼里成为花魁,姐姐的样貌也不差的,但是十年来的教养成了差异,她虽然穿着打补丁的衣服,比起姐姐来,也太惹眼了,姐姐……甚至有些怕自己留下来跟她争宠。她捧着那只元宝儿,跟随行的龟奴叔叔一道回金风楼,那个小渔村,从那以后就再也没有去过。 She is a smart person, can have means of livelihood. From then on she knows what oneself wants is anything, she must walk happily along this means of livelihood, oneself...... at least compared with father with empress crossed for a lifetime is much better, she no longer thinks, was happy, perhaps later will have fiercely is very very fierce, the family background good great talent married to go home oneself, became a concubine, joyfully for a lifetime. 她是聪明人,能有一条活路。从那以后她就知道自己想要的是什么,她要沿着这条活路开开心心地走下去,自己……至少比爹爹跟娘娘的一辈子过得好多了,她不再多想,开心起来,也许以后还会有个很厉害很厉害,家世又好的大才子把自己娶回家去,当个小妾,快快乐乐地过一辈子。 Naturally , something, are some of her continuously expectation. 当然,也有些东西,是她一直都有些憧憬的。 That Young Lady elder sister named Yunzhu, when her following teacher studies saw, the temperament is good, is willing to help the person, heard before her, is Young Lady of government authorities, perhaps on her brings, is the government authorities Young Lady makings, she does not have such makings, but thought that...... somewhat envies. 那个叫云竹的小姐姐,在她跟着老师念书时就见到了,脾气好,也肯帮助人,听说她以前是官家的小姐,也许她身上带着的,就是官家小姐的气质吧,她没有那样的气质,只是觉得……有些羡慕。 Naturally, each other also without too many happening together, afterward in Goldwind House, when settles the keeper of the emperor's carriage, mutually is also only the nodding acquaintance. Jin'er thought that oneself somewhat looked forward to her, that expectation is hard to talk clearly. Naturally, in Goldwind House by no means is everyone can get used to seeing the Nie Yunzhu conduct, some girls are hostile to her very much, cannot get used to seeing her family background, cannot get used to seeing her aloof from worldly affairs conduct, cannot get used to seeing her does not agree happy appearance, not being able to get used to seeing her such is unhappy can be on par the reddest Queen of Flowers fame, mother Yang Xiuhong, seem to Nie Yunzhu is unsatisfied, occasionally scolded her. 当然,彼此并没有太多的交集,后来都在金风楼中当了清倌人,互相也只是点头之交。锦儿觉得自己对她是有些憧憬,那种憧憬难以说得清楚。当然,金风楼中并不是所有人都看得惯聂云竹的做派,有的姑娘很敌视她,看不惯她的出身,看不惯她清高的做派,看不惯她不肯开心的样子,看不惯她那样不开心就能有比肩最红花魁的名气,就连妈妈杨秀红,看起来对聂云竹都是不满意的,偶尔骂她一顿。 Unties the heart knot, to see clearly Yuan Jin'er of road ahead to cross very joyfully, nearby soon had many many Yuan Bao'er, she looks at all these, emits the in the heart little corner to look forward to that woman named Nie Yunzhu, then maintains the indifferent nodding acquaintance with her. Afterward Nie Yunzhu really left Goldwind House, Aunt Yang is beyond the person of cold internal heat, her benevolence naturally not casual uncombed hair, but these had the female of ability to care to the building. She had said that in such environment, if oneself has not made every effort to succeed, is not patching, if is really long not attractively, that is the God does not give the food to eat. such world, complained about not. 解开心结、看清前路的元锦儿过得很快乐,身边很快就有了更多更多的元宝儿,她只是看着这一切,放出心中一点点角落来憧憬那个叫聂云竹的女人,然后与她保持淡然的点头之交。后来聂云竹果然离开金风楼了,杨妈妈是个外冷内热的人,她的善心当然不会随便乱发,但对楼中这些有本领的女子是关心的。她曾经说过,在那样的环境里,如果自己还不争气,是不配活着的,而假如长得实在不漂亮,那也是老天爷不给饭吃。这样的世间,莫怨莫尤了。 She such scolded, wants to make Elder Sister Yunzhu clearly recognize the reality, choosing an easy road to walk, but has not succeeded finally, even so, she gave Yunzhu to come to the building to teach the opportunity of zither | Jean. 她那样骂来骂去,是想让云竹姐姐认清现实,选条容易的路走,可最后还是没有成功,即便如此,她还是给了云竹来楼里教琴的机会。 However, oneself will not take that road, although grows up gradually. Can clearly recognize that at heart expectation actually is anything, but that is unnecessary improper ambition. oneself is very intelligent, has walked from this means of livelihood, saying oneself was a profit-centered person is also good. Sometimes felt, the father delivers oneself with the empress, wants to make oneself live, when lived well on...... to see that Nie Yunzhu crossed embarrassed, cannot bear want to deliver some money to go...... 不过,自己是不会走那条路的,虽然渐渐长大。能够认清楚心里憧憬的到底是些什么,但那都是不必要的非分之想。自己很聪明,会一直从这条活路上走下去,或者,说自己是个功利的人也好。有时候觉得,爹爹跟娘娘将自己送出来,就是想让自己活着,活着就好了……只是看见那聂云竹过得窘迫时,又忍不住想要送些钱去…… oneself is the person of utility, she convinced oneself like this, may arrive finally. The smart people cannot bear think. Comes out from Goldwind House, Aunt Yang that sharp-tongued is actually happy or disappointed? Possibly both all have. How to think in the above the skies father and empress? Thought that oneself did right, will think that oneself did give up the means of livelihood? She does not know. 自己是功利之人,她这样说服自己,可到得最后。聪明人还是忍不住多想。从金风楼里出来,杨妈妈那个刀子嘴到底是高兴还是失望呢？可能两者皆有吧。在天上的爹爹和娘娘是怎样想的呢？觉得自己做对了,还是会觉得自己放弃了活路？她不知道。 But she crosses very happily. Person who can come out from that environment together, is very easy to turn into the close sisters. Helps one another in difficult time, she regarded most own person Sister Yunzhu henceforth. After that also has that will present the strange man who or will vanish suddenly, becomes barrier between her and Sister Yunzhu. however also led her to see before , has not thought scenery. 但她过得很开心。能够从那个环境里一道出来的人,很容易变成亲密的姐妹。相濡以沫,她从此将云竹姐当成了最亲的人。此后,还有那个会忽然出现或者消失的古古怪怪的男人,成为了她与云竹姐之间的隔阂。可是也带她看到了以前从未曾想过的风景。 Gradually...... 渐渐的…… Likes bickering with him. Visited him to say the appearance of joke. Not proper appearance. Likes looking that his because of oneself occupied Sister Yunzhu, but helpless facial expression. Likes looking his because of oneself after did not pay attention to take the Sister Yunzhu advantage, self-satisfied appearance. He does know naturally oneself intentionally? 喜欢跟他斗嘴。看他说笑话的样子。没有正经的样子。喜欢看他因为自己占据了云竹姐而无奈的神情。喜欢看他因为自己的不注意占了云竹姐便宜后得意的样子。他知不知道那是自己故意的呢？ Likes looking at him calm the appearance in front of oneself and Sister Yunzhu. Calm appearance before others. Likes hearing his news, listening to the person to praise his. When liking him is earnest appearance. Likes him protecting oneself and Sister Yunzhu appearance before the Su Family person. When likes does not like him dyeing the blood appearance. Can he know that oneself likes his so many...... 喜欢看他在自己和云竹姐面前从容的样子。在别人面前从容的样子。喜欢听人说起他的新闻,听人夸奖他的。喜欢他认真时的样子。喜欢他在苏家人面前保护自己和云竹姐的样子。喜欢又不喜欢他染着血时的样子。他会不会知道自己喜欢他这么多…… Also because of him and Sister Yunzhu. She sees gradually, originally in oneself at heart, in that wind and snow is standing that little girl, she holds her Yuan Bao'er, has been crying, she in own at heart, oneself perhaps is very painful. What a pity, this little girl oneself could not see, this pain oneself cannot feel. Until the present, can see her gradually, is because saw her, she felt, already was no longer painful. 也是因为他和云竹姐。她渐渐地看见,原来在自己心里,在那片风雪中站着的那个小女孩,她捧着她的元宝儿,一直在哭,她在自己的心里,自己也许是很痛的。可惜,这小女孩自己看不到,这痛楚自己也感受不到。直到如今,才能够渐渐地看见她,也是因为看见了她,她觉得,已经不再痛了。 *************** *************** „...... It‘s nothing issue, is the sickness is not the sickness. The mood is depressed, the vitality was a little chaotic, has the concern, suppressed cannot be coming out at heart, some these days sleep and diet probably influences, but looked that the physical condition was good, the time was not long. Opens casually instills, before drinking is deceives her...... , the character should be quite lively?” “……没什么问题,是病也不是病。心情郁结,气血有点乱,有心事了,憋在心里出不来,这几天睡眠和饮食大概都有些影响,但看身体状况还好,时间也不怎么久。随便开点药,喝了就是骗一骗她……之前性格应该是比较活泼吧？” Under the eaves, the golden light sprinkles, is saying at the back of middle-aged Doctor of medicine kit, the Ning Yi hear, turn head looks to the room, soon after nods: „Is Um, quite lively...... really all right?” 屋檐下,金光洒下来,背着药箱的中年大夫如此说着,宁毅听完,回头望向房间里,随后点了点头:“嗯,比较活泼……真没事？” „such worry, said big, not really big, but must say is small, some actually also big, some females live in the mansions of wealthy families, the mood was depressed, cannot solve, got down for a long time, was ten years eight years of life.” Middle-aged Doctor gossipped, soon after shook the head with a smile, „I thought this miss, should not have this matter, you found the crux, enlightened, the food to be popular, rests soundly good...... the formula I later to send on the nature, first said goodbye.” “这样的心病,说大不大,不过要说小,有些其实也不小的,有的女子住在深宅大院的,心情郁结,解不了,长久下去,也就是十年八年的命。”中年大夫八卦了一下,随后笑着摇头,“不过我看这位姑娘,应该没这种事,你找到症结,开导一下,饭吃得香,睡得香也就自然好了……药方我待会让人送来,先告辞了。” „This was the doctor's fee...... thanks. Walks slowly.” Ning Yi puts out money from the sleeves, soon after gazes after that Doctor to go far away submissively, he stands under that eaves is looking in the room on the bed also in the lethargic sleep female, in a minute, gains ground, inhales a breath of air, long shouted again, took a step to walk toward inside. “这是诊金……谢了。慢走。”宁毅从衣袖里拿出银子,随后拱手目送那大夫远去,他站在那屋檐下望着房间里床上还在昏睡的女子,片刻,抬了抬头,吸了一口气,再长长地呼出来,举步朝里面走去。 „Really is......” “真是的……” *************** *************** Waking up time, realized that oneself had that long dream. Opens the eye, the bright sunlight according to the entrance, the powder of light is circling in the air, another side window also started, the wind blows, cool and bright feeling, swaying books and paper, crash-bang light sound. 醒来的时候,意识到自己做了那个长长的梦。睁开眼睛,明朗的日光照在门口,光的粉末在空气里打着旋儿,另一边的窗户也开了,风吹进来,凉爽而明亮的感觉,拂动书本和纸张,哗啦啦的轻响。 Then she responded, oneself rested, was on the bed of Ning Yi here room, on the forehead as if also covered a wet towel, the slightly cool feeling, was very comfortable, the place that but hit before perhaps, the also has some pain, had a package as before. 然后她才反应过来,自己睡的,是宁毅这边房间的床上,额头上似乎还盖了一块湿毛巾,微凉的感觉,很舒服,不过之前撞到的地方,依旧还有些痛感,恐怕起了个包了。 inclined the head over, Ning Yi is sitting in the table reorganizes his draft. Jin'er recalled that oneself messes up the opposite party manuscript the matter, is a little afraid, therefore she does not dare to move heedlessly, closes the eye quietly, pretends oneself not to wake up. 偏过头去,宁毅正坐在桌边整理他的稿子。锦儿回想起自己弄乱对方书稿的事情,有点心虚,于是她不敢乱动,悄悄地闭上眼睛,装作自己没有醒来。 Also impure because of the matter of draft thought is unable to face him, since this, first gripped in earth to pretend under the heavens well peacefully...... 也不纯是因为稿子的事情而觉得无法面对他,既然这样,先把头扎到土里装作天下太平就好了…… in her heart is thinking. 她心中想着。 ************ ************ The recent title is more appropriate, a title of character antecedents considered the high and low termination...... 新标题更贴切,之前情之一字的标题就当是上下完结了……
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