„Wa! Why to burn me with the flame?” “哇！干吗用火焰来烧我？” „Do you shave clean the beard to do what? Do you know that you were short of a beard character not to have?” “你把胡子剃光干什么？你知不知道你少了胡子一点性格都没有了？” „Right?” “是吗？” „Oh, the article is not good, the military is not good, you are not the mountain thief, you want to make foremost person in the field Ah?” “唉,文也不行,武也不行,你不做山贼,你想做状元啊？” „I have thought......” “我有想过……” „Saves the province you! Changes what image, makes your mountain thief very promising occupation to go well!” “省省吧你！改变什么形象,好好地做你山贼这份很有前途的职业去吧！” „......” “……” In the movie theater resounds Stephen Chow and dialog of Karen Mok that classics, afterward west when the boast the roaming was all the rage the trim mainland, recalls, perhaps is very difficult to imagine 95 years of this movie just in the inland screened scene, simple character: Cold. 电影院里响起周星驰与莫文蔚那经典的对白,后来大话西游风靡整片大陆时,回想起来,恐怕很难想象九五年这部电影刚刚在内地上映时的情景,简单一个字:冷。 It is not able the understood joke, often became the cold joke, the movie can shoot like this? Journey to the West can change like this? Therefore in the entire movie theater some people of stunned, some people ridicule, some people dumbfounded dumbfounded. Perhaps only then many some people of departing from the classics and betraying principle like Shasha, will laugh while goes all out to hammer on the shoulder of Jiaming. 无法被人理解的笑话,往往就成了冷笑话,电影是可以这样拍的吗？西游记是可以这样改的吗？于是整个电影院里有人愕然,有人笑骂,也有人目瞪口呆哑口无言。或许只有像沙沙这样多少有些离经叛道的人,才会一边大笑一边在家明的肩膀上拼命锤。 „no way, is he Sun Wukong? How he is Sun Wukong...... he can be Sun Wukong...... Ha Ha, hits you, to hit you......” “不是吧,他就是孙悟空吗？他是孙悟空吗……他怎么会是孙悟空呢……哈哈,打你、打你……” „Āiyā, Shasha do not smile, you favor many people to look that you......” Lingjing smile in the one side lowly, Shasha has to happily extreme wields the custom of fighting with the fists person, the nature, coming under attack often is Jiaming. West the spoof in roaming regarding the boast, Jiaming naturally must understand, but also accompanies is ridiculing several, in the heart thought that the Shasha brain a little show teased, after Cao Family fathers' and sons' that event, she more and more becomes the show to tease. “哎呀,沙沙你别笑了,你看好多人都在看着你呢……”灵静在一旁低笑,沙沙有开心到极处就挥拳打人的习惯,自然,挨打的往往是家明。对于大话西游里的恶搞,家明自然不会不理解,不过也只是陪着讪笑几声,心中觉得沙沙脑子有点秀逗了,从曹家父子的那次事件之后,她就变得越来越秀逗。 In fact, Shasha also felt oneself somewhat were recently strange, in the lumber processing factory rear area woods is Jiaming licks the mouth blood that kisses often reappears in her mind, every day in wants many sight Jiaming, Jiaming when side her, she thought that is safe and comfortable, sometimes also rare blushing heartbeat. 事实上,沙沙也觉得自己最近有些奇怪,木料加工厂后方树林里为家明舔去嘴边血液的那一吻时常重现在她的脑海里,每天里想要更多的见到家明,家明在她身边的时候,她就觉得安全、舒服,有时候还会罕见的脸红心跳。 According to looking the love story judged, she perhaps likes on Jiaming. 按照看过的言情小说来判断,她恐怕是喜欢上家明了。 But that Jiaming is the own good friend, is the boy who another good friend Lingjing likes, the boy who Lingjing likes, properly speaking oneself should not like, but does not like, what kind of attitude should that be? 可是那怎么可以呢,家明是自己的好朋友,是自己另一个好朋友灵静喜欢的男孩子,灵静喜欢的男孩子,按理说自己就不该喜欢了吧,可是不喜欢,那又该是一种怎样的态度？ Three people play the big, behavior since childhood, actually has long gone what barrier, creates a disturbance the collision of limbs is only the minor matter, because of farcical incidents, Jiaming has seen they two bodies several times, they have also seen Jiaming some privacy somewhat. However, if should not like on this boy, what kind of distance should maintains? could it be compared with, when friend can become estranged? Such doubts, making the Shasha recent behavior somewhat unusual. 三个人从小玩到大,彼此之间的行为,其实早就没存在什么隔阂,打打闹闹间肢体的碰撞只是小事,因为几次的乌龙事件,家明看到过她们两个的身体,她们也多多少少见到过家明的一些隐私。然而,假如不该喜欢上这个男孩子,应该是保持怎样的距离呢？难道比当朋友时要更加疏远吗？这样的疑惑,使得沙沙最近的行为有些反常。 Too near, will think of Lingjing, meets the blushing heartbeat, was far, will feel oneself must be repelled beyond the range of friend by them simply, such feeling, is Shasha is absolutely unsupportable. Causes the Shasha's behavior in a dilemma from time to time the violence from time to time the virtuous young woman, such feeling, continued the following entire 96 years. 太近了,会想到灵静,会脸红心跳,远了,会觉得自己简直要被他们两个人排斥出朋友的范围之外,这样的感觉,是沙沙绝对不能忍受的。进退失据使得沙沙的行为时而暴力时而淑女,那样的感觉,持续了接下来的整个九六年。 Naturally, if stands in the angle of observer analyzes, Shasha should be earlier than one step to begin to be interested in the opposite sex Lingjing, the favorable impression of Lingjing to Jiaming, was very previously fuzzy, but also simply has not been separated from the category of child, she can share Jiaming with Shasha carelessly, can look that two good friends roll fall on cheer on the arena, but, love matter actually is anything, who can talk clearly. 当然,假如站在旁观者的角度来分析,沙沙应该是比灵静更早一步的情窦初开了,先前灵静对家明的好感,或许还很模糊,还根本没有脱离小孩子的范畴,她可以毫不在乎地与沙沙分享家明,可以看着两个好朋友滚倒在擂台上而呐喊助威,不过,爱情这种事情倒底是什么,谁又说得清楚。 After that not long, the time strides in 96 years of the beginning of the year. The school put the winter vacation, this means that three people had more time to mix up, this time Jiaming and Lingjing about 15 years old, Shasha after the birthday of September, will then have been among 16-year-old flower season young girl, has the joyful and ignorant shy love of canning be found everywhere, two will mature little girl the mature young boy have been persevering their small little world with a psychology gradually as before, when this stretch of the world will be attacked, no one knows, no one thinks. 此后不多时,时间跨入九六年的年初。学校放了寒假,这意味着三人有了更多的时间混在一起,此时的家明与灵静将近十五岁,沙沙在过了九月的生日之后,便会跨入16岁的花季少女行列,带着俯拾皆是的快乐与懵懂青涩的爱情,两个心志渐渐成熟的小女孩与一个心理已经成熟的小男孩依旧坚守着他们的小小天地,这片天地何时会受到冲击,没有人知道,没有人去想。 Regarding Jiaming, two girls' psychology have also grown up, before being together not like, then is boring, they are the lilies, oneself and their such being together will also not become strange, when them as own shield, oneself can also become their shield, such three people will combine, simply will be perfect. He had not experienced the normal childhood before, by the present this time, feels, is not only relaxed and enjoyable, that simply is the happiness. 对于家明来说,两个女孩的心理也已经长大,相处起来不像以前那么无聊,她们是百合,自己与她们这样的相处也就不会变得奇怪,将她们作为自己的挡箭牌时,自己也可以成为她们两人的挡箭牌,这样的三人组合,简直是完美。他以前没有经历过正常的童年,到现在这个时候,所感受到的,不仅仅是轻松与写意,那简直就是幸福。 After the end of the year, several days, Jianghai City was covered by the snow white white snow, three people wear the down clothing, wears the glove to batter in Jianghai City main street and small alley, the computer game, ice-skates and goes to the park to drive the Pèng Pèng car(riage), to hit *, two young girl cheeks crimsons, are high-spirited, after the new year's celebration, fourth day, they pick a cage kitten, just lived soon to be thrown by the master in out of the door, five cats have frozen to death four, only then a wonderful ugly incomparable white cat was hatched in the bosom by Lingjing handful of exactly. 年关之后几天,江海市被皑皑白雪覆盖,三人穿着羽绒服,戴着手套在江海市的大街小巷横冲直撞,电子游戏、溜冰、去公园开碰碰车、打*,两个少女脸颊彤红,兴致高昂,过年后第四天,他们捡到一笼小猫,刚生出来不久被主人扔在门外,五只小猫已经冻死了四只,只有一只奇丑无比的白猫被灵静捧在怀里孵活了过来。 Three people bring back to it the family/home, Shasha named to be called A’Chou to it, Lingjing said it seemed like just fresh small lamb, suggested to call it, Jiaming thinks this ugly cat barely escaped, proposed that called celebrate Yunian 。 Finally Shasha wins, the kitten in the name of A’Chou, becomes young blood in three people of the world. 三人将它带回家里,沙沙给它取名叫做阿丑,灵静说它像是刚生出来的小羊羔,建议叫它咩咩,家明则认为这只丑猫险死还生,提议叫庆余年。最终沙沙获胜,小猫以阿丑为名,成为三人世界中的新成员。 The time passes by the tranquil and warm atmosphere, Jiaming investigates United States that side situation through some secret information websites occasionally, knows Saliere Aristocratic Family and Gambino Aristocratic Family that Marilyn is are indistinct are the dark cloud surge, has not actually regarded a matter, after all the wars between these two families were not one time twice, Little Heidi when last year Christmas participated in New York one time to sing the competition, finished first of children group, this time network was not developed, Jiaming also can only see the writing material, was impossible to find to record or record. 时间在平静而又温馨的气氛之中过去,家明偶尔通过一些秘密的情报网站调查美国那边的情况,知道玛丽莲所在的萨利埃世家与甘比诺世家隐约间又是暗云涌动,却也没当成一回事,毕竟这两个家族之间的战争也不是一次两次了,小海蒂在去年圣诞的时候参加纽约的一次唱歌比赛,获得少儿组的第一名,不过此时的网络不发达,家明也只能看到文字资料,不可能找到录像或者录音。 During April bloomy spring, letter paper appears through the channel of secret on the table of Room Jiaming, the general idea/careless was Tename Seihō and Tsukichi Kaoru conducts the engagement ceremony, Jiaming looked at one, later burnt down, thought that this closed/pass my anything matter. 四月间春暖花开,一封信笺通过秘密的渠道出现在家明的桌子上,大意是天雨正则与月池薰进行了订婚仪式,家明看了一眼,随后烧掉,心想这关我什么事。 Usually in mixes up with two young young girls, occasionally naturally also sees the big chest to like pretending to be mature beauty Teacher Zhang Yahan unavoidably, how many sexually harasses, sometimes can also think, two lily Young Lady had no chance, everyone such was ripe, in the future may marry this woman? Afterward felt own brain is remnant. 平日里与两个小少女混在一起,偶尔自然也免不了见见大胸脯喜欢装成熟的美女老师张雅涵,调戏几句,某些时候也会想,两个百合小姑娘自己是没希望了,大家这么熟了,将来或许可以跟这个女人结婚？随后觉得自己脑残。 A day of evening between June, Jiaming and Lingjing and Shasha return to shortly after Ye Dojo, Zhang Yahan visits suddenly, these time actually and was different in the past, this beauty Teacher splendid attire appearance, on bridge of the nose unprecedented has not put up on that ugly eye, the wave form curly hair also flared-out, like water waterfall general hanging loose, her side with six as the husky fellow of bodyguard, seemed like simply compared with that Papa Ye must be able to hit. 六月间的一天傍晚,家明与灵静、沙沙才回到叶氏武馆不久,张雅涵突然上了门,这一次却与往常不同,这位美女老师盛装打扮,鼻梁上破天荒的没有架上那难看的眼睛,波浪式的卷发也拉直了,如同水瀑一般的披散而下,她的身边跟了六个作为保镖的彪形大汉,看起来简直比叶爸爸还要能打的那种。 „Um, Elder Sister several days later is the 22nd birthday, moreover must become engaged Oh, these invitations send to you, remembers that can Oh, Hehe Hehe...... also has these two give the master on time teacher's wife, master teacher's wife?” “嗯,姐姐过几天就是22岁生日,而且还要订婚了哦,这几张请柬是送来给你们的,记得要准时到哦,呵呵呵呵……还有这两张给师父师母,师父师母呢？” At this time Papa Ye Mama Ye is preparing the dinner, Zhang Yahan smiles somewhat charmingly, moreover is somewhat exaggerating, two young young girls only know suddenly happily, what actually without seeing comes, Jiaming looked at the surrounding six bodyguards, in the heart understands faintly Zhang Yahan did not want mostly, however was in Big Family, what was the own wish considered as? The marriage candidate was short of one, he curls the lip lightly. 此时叶爸爸叶妈妈正在准备晚饭,张雅涵笑得有些妩媚,而且有些夸张,两个小少女一时间只知道高兴,倒没看出什么来,家明看了看周围六个保镖,心中隐隐明白张雅涵多半不愿意,然而身在大家族,自己的意愿又算得了什么？结婚人选又少了一个,他淡淡地撇了撇嘴。 In the mouth said several congratulations, stands while six bodyguards in behind has not paid attention, Zhang Yahan winks to him, grotesque, Jiaming looks funnily, but lets go reluctantly. 口中说几声恭喜恭喜,趁着六个保镖站在后面没注意,张雅涵冲着他挤眉弄眼,怪模怪样,家明看得好笑,只是无奈地一摊手。 Passes the moment, Jiaming goes to urinate to the restroom, had not finished, the voices of several people resound in out of the door, in the heart just thinks that Young Lady Yahan you are not such do, the gate had been shoved open, later bang closed. 过得片刻,家明去到厕所里小解,还没结束,几个人的声音响起在门外,心中正想雅涵MM你不是这么做得出来吧,门已经被推开,随后砰的一声关上了。 Jiaming is thrown into confusion draws the zipper, Zhang Yahan was actually turns a blind eye to clash to his lower part of the body situation, covered his mouth, in the mouth „Shh— — Shh— —” talks mindlessly. 家明手忙脚乱地拉拉链,张雅涵却是对他下身情况视若无睹地冲了上来,一把捂住他的嘴,口中“嘘——嘘——”地乱吹。 „Excuse me, I am breathing out, the young lady you clash like this, will have the adverse effect on my latter half of one's life, matter relates to man most important the kidney and prostate gland......” crosses well long time, Jiaming lowered the sound to protest. “拜托,我是在嘘嘘,小姐你这样子冲进来,会对我后半生造成不良影响的,事情关系到对男人最重要的肾和前列腺啊……”过得好半晌,家明才压低了声音抗议起来。 „The latter half of life does not have the woman, I look to you, university student also tens of thousands......” Zhang Yahan pays no attention to him, takes up the water pipe to start to turn on the water, makes „Zizi who” urinates sound, later turns head, „are we friends, is the best friend, you said!” “下半辈子没有女人,我给你找,大学生也不过几万块一个……”张雅涵不理他,拿起水管开始放水,做出撒尿的“兹兹”声,随后才回过头来,“我们是不是朋友,是不是最好的朋友,你说！” „beauty, you were that muscle did not make contact with, asking you to see clearly the own status! Thinks the escaping marriage? Didn't you have to marry the consciousness of person did not like early?” “美女,你又是那根筋搭不上了,拜托你看清楚自己的身份！想逃婚？你不是老早就有嫁给一个不喜欢的人的觉悟了吗？” „You know that I think the escaping marriage also pretends not to see my look intentionally! Do you believe me to massacre you in the restroom!” Zhang Yahan makes threatening gestures, „has the consciousness is cracking a joke time words that spoke! I do not want to sacrifice my happiness for a lifetime for the family! You must help me, only then you can help me.” “你知道我想逃婚还故意装作没看到我的眼神！你信不信我在厕所里杀掉你！”张雅涵张牙舞爪,“有觉悟是开玩笑的时候说的话！我才不想为了家族牺牲我一辈子的幸福呢！你非帮我不可,只有你可以帮我了。” „no way, Elder Sister Yahan, your head show teases, I am a child, didn't you have a better candidate?” “不是吧,雅涵姐姐,你脑袋秀逗啦,我还是个孩子,你就没有更好的人选了吗？” „Why if there are me also to look for you?” “如果有我干嘛还来找你？” „Now I believed that you cultivate the behavior are really failed......” Jiaming to cover the forehead, the big girl and young boy squat in the restroom are dumbfounded. “现在我相信了,你做人真失败……”家明捂住额头,大女孩与小男孩蹲在厕所里大眼瞪小眼。 „In any case I, no matter, only then you can help me.” Zhang Yahan stands up, drew in the skirt swayed directly, has drawn to the sexy thigh entire reveal will come out, can see the degree of underpants, later sees only she pulls open the right leg leg with the yellowish pink silk stockings edge, extracts a paper from the thigh. “反正我不管,只有你可以帮我了。”张雅涵站起身来,直接拉上了裙摆,一直拉到将性感的大腿全露出来,可以看到内裤的程度,随后只见她拉开右腿腿跟的肉色丝袜沿,从大腿内侧抽出一张纸条。 „On the day of engagement comes, you must prepare these thing to me, I know that this is very difficult, but...... asked you, you went out to sell the blood to be good, I must give that fellows to be attractive at the scene!” “订婚那天过来,你要给我准备好这些东西,我知道这很困难,但是……拜托你啦,你出去卖血都好,我一定要当场给那帮家伙好看！” „I depend.” Jiaming looked at thing on paper, „you do not need to display to result in such to be intense, is only the engagement, I also think after you want to kill people, flees Thailand......” “我靠。”家明望了一眼纸条上的东西,“你不用表现得这么激烈吧,只是订婚而已,我还以为你想杀人之后潜逃去泰国呢……” „Che!” on Zhang Yahan face one red, „you do not know that their customs, the engagement is the engagement, but must sleep with that fellow that night, Liú Family that helped the Old Gu board say that China has not become engaged this set, previously was says marries immediately, I said the engagement like mad for a long time, but wanted the nuptial chamber...... this is not same, I rather gave the chalk for the first time......” “切！”张雅涵脸上一红,“你不知道他们的规矩,订婚是订婚,但是当天晚上就得跟那家伙睡一觉,刘家的那帮老古板说中国没有订婚这一套,先前是说马上结婚,我拼死拼活好久才说订婚,但是要洞房……这不是一样吗,我宁愿把第一次送给粉笔……” „Originally Yahan your first time? Does not want in any case, might as well give to me here. Wú, good fragrant......” Jiaming to take that paper to smell, later Yahan bent two fingers to knock fiercely, „, no way, were you attitude of asking others for help? Believes me to yell immediately!” “原来雅涵你还是第一次吗？反正不要了,不如在这里送给我吧。唔,好香……”家明拿着那纸条闻了闻,随后雅涵屈起两指猛地敲了下来,“呀,不是吧,你这是求人的态度吗？信不信我马上大叫！” „Ok, your young sexual harasser do not make.” The Yahan cheeks are crimson, Jiaming naturally also knows that heard a moment ago the movement of that paper embarrassed her, has not thought how was good to speak, a Yahan drawing he passed, his head according to the own chest, „such good, remembers that must all get so far as thing, my life-long happy grasped in your hand!” “好了,你这小色狼别闹了。”雅涵脸颊绯红,家明自然也知道刚才闻那张纸条的动作令她很尴尬,还没想好怎么说话,雅涵一把拉了他过去,将他的头按在自己的胸脯上,“这样好了吧,记得要把东西全弄到啊,我的终生幸福就握在你手上了！” She spoke hurriedly the words, is blushing to run from the entrance, Jiaming looked at that paper in the restroom, later shakes the head, tears into shreds, crashes in the toilet. 她匆匆忙忙把话说完,红着脸从门口跑出去,家明在厕所里将那纸条看了一遍,随后摇了摇头,撕碎,冲进马桶。 ******************************** ******************************** Asked the ticket! Asked the ticket! 求票！求票！