HA :: Volume #2

#128: Small troublesome

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Two days and three days, were four days...... the time with going through many places lost the function in the drug dependence suffering gradually. Lives when that small storage room, weight that is very difficult to be accurate passing of time, drug dependence outbreak, closely tied up, uncomfortable, struggles and moans, to falls into the sleep finally, a sleep/felt wakes up, is unable to feel the day and night change, appears in the view, throughout is that orange yellow light, in addition defends in the person's shadow of sides of the bed. 两天、三天、还是四天……时间在毒瘾的煎熬与辗转渐渐失去了作用。住在那小小的储物间中,很难确切的衡量出外界时间的流逝,毒瘾发作时,被紧紧地绑起来,难受、挣扎、呻吟,到最后陷入睡眠,一觉醒来,无法感受到日夜的更替,出现在眼帘中的,始终是那盏橙黄的灯光,加上守在床沿的人影。 Most of the time naturally is Teacher Yahan, when she is truly uncomfortable wipes the forehead or beads of sweat for her, feeds her to drink water and take a drug, the rope when she must go to bathroom or take a bath will untie. Before the school saw when Teacher Yahan she is always very serious, even also has many schoolmates feared her, but knows now, actually Teacher Yahan was very gentle, in the beforehand life, from no one once such felt better to oneself, felt on, her then as if own mother...... should say that was fantasizes the mother image, because own one's own mother, as if did not have this to treat itself even well. 大多数的时候自然是雅涵老师,在她真正难受时为她擦去额头或是身上的汗珠,喂她喝水、吃药,绳索只有在她要上厕所或是洗澡的时候才会解开。以前在学校里见到雅涵老师时她总是很严肃,甚至还有很多的同学怕她,但现在才知道,其实雅涵老师很温柔,在以前的生命里,从没有人曾经这样的对自己好过,感觉上,她便仿佛自己的母亲……应该说是自己幻想中的母亲形象,因为就算是自己的亲生母亲,似乎也没有这样好好的对待自己。 From infancy to maturity, her every day, as if must clench the teeth, compared with others, actually in the family/home the condition is good, however father gambling, takes drugs, afterward she also took drugs, in such bottomless pit edge, even if today also is the bird nest shark fin, perhaps next morning father will then be betting on the table to lose this daughters went out — —, but he indeed has also done like this. Every day passed in the disturbed worry and anxiety, compared to at this moment the environment, gentle with the attendance that feels, she really felt occasionally: Oneself must really be a baby this/should good...... 从小到大,她的每一天,似乎都得咬紧了牙关过来,比起别人来说,其实家里条件还是不错的,然而父亲赌博、吸毒,后来她也吸了毒,在这样的无底洞边缘,哪怕今天还在是燕窝鱼翅,说不定第二天早上父亲便会将她这个女儿都在赌桌上输了出去——而他也的确这样干过。每一天都在忐忐忑忑的担心和忧虑中度过,相对于此刻所处的环境,感受到的温柔与照顾,她真偶尔觉得:自己要真的还是一名婴儿该多好…… As for Sister Suyan — — she will perhaps not acknowledge oneself to her called around — — adds also only to come the 3-4 time. She is very severe, naturally that in view of oneself, except for the first time, afterward she seemed when Teacher Yahan had no free time came to look. She does not like herself, this point are understands. 至于素言姐——她或许不会承认自己对她的这个称呼——前后加起来也只来了三四次。她很严厉,当然那只是针对自己而言,除了第一次,后来她似乎都是在雅涵老师没空的时候才过来照看一下。她并不喜欢自己,这一点自己是明白的。 „I do not aim at anyone, but I dislike the person who that type is unable to control itself to choose.” “我并不是针对谁,但我讨厌那种无法驾驭自己选择的人。” This is the Sister Suyan original words, in the own cognition, she is very strong and is very dazzling, the person looks attractive, understands many thing, all along is such gracefulness and calm, naturally becomes the center and focus — of — everyone vision naturally present „everyone”, only then oneself. Perhaps she does not know, she has worship how and envies her. Later if can have Sister Suyan 1%, perhaps oneself also satisfied. 这是素言姐的原话,在自己的认知中,她很强、很耀眼,人长得漂亮、懂很多的东西,一贯都是那样的优雅与从容,理所当然成为所有人目光的中心与焦点——当然现在的“所有人”,也只有自己而已。她或许不会知道,自己有多么的崇拜与羡慕她。以后要是能有素言姐的百分之一,自己或许也就满足了。 Naturally, when the Teacher Yahan front, the customs of some Sister Suyan practical joke, will as if also crack a joke frequently, in she comes, often oneself drug dependence outbreak, will then tie up very awkward appearance by her, Teacher Yahan saw, will then often be angry angry, she often joked Teacher Yahan was a fool, seemed like, Teacher Yahan somewhat seemed like her Younger Sister but actually. 当然,在雅涵老师的面前,素言姐似乎也有些恶作剧的习惯,常常会开玩笑,在她过来时,往往自己毒瘾发作,便会被她绑成十分尴尬的模样,雅涵老师看到了,便往往会嗔恼一番,她时常开玩笑说雅涵老师是笨蛋,看起来,雅涵老师倒有些像是她的妹妹。 Was frightened the incontinence of urine the situation, the nature that time that only then starts, afterward several times, she, although was still severe, but oneself not like was such was afraid after all, she had said that must massacre itself, but under oneself clenching the teeth with hardship support each time, did not have to be really put into practice, occasionally saw her to nod, oneself also likely child general thinking, if some of her day praised itself under one, perhaps happily to fainting past. 被吓到小便失禁的情况,自然只有开始的那一次,后来的几次,她虽然仍旧严厉,但自己毕竟不像是那样的害怕了,她说过要杀掉自己,但在自己每次的咬紧牙关苦苦支撑下,也没有真的付诸实践,偶尔见她点头,自己也会像个孩子一般的想,要是她某一天夸奖自己一下,自己说不定会高兴到晕过去。 Tied up in these, in the time of clenching the teeth, oneself drug dependence also in decrease gradually, every time is one uncomfortable the gap as if to have the growth, this is Teacher Yahan when the words that encouraging oneself can speak. 在那些被捆绑好,咬紧了牙关的时间里,自己身上的毒瘾也在渐渐的减退,每一次难受间的间隔似乎都有增长,这是雅涵老师在鼓励自己时会说的话。 The time then passes by when such struggling gradually, drug dependence outbreak the whole body felt cold and shivers as before as if immediately must die, but in any event, whenever at this time, some people will at least tie up, some people will care about her, made the decision for her. 时间便在这样的挣扎之中渐渐过去,毒瘾发作时依旧浑身发冷、颤抖得仿佛马上就要死掉,但无论如何,每当这个时候,至少会有人将自己绑起来,会有人关心她,替她做出决定。 It is not willing to go to think that again outside world, is not willing to go to think the father death again, but she knows that father indeed died, she did not have the family member again, even if bad the family members like father no longer has. The body by the tight imprisonment, is unable to move, with seems only how many ropes that the freedoms is separated with a door, even if gave up the drug dependence, can be redeemed? She does not know. 不愿意再去想外面的世界,不愿意再去想父亲的死,但她知道父亲的确是死掉了,她再也没有了家人,哪怕像父亲那样恶劣的家人都不再有。身体被紧紧的禁锢住,无法动弹,与自由之间间隔的似乎只是几根绳索与一扇门,然而就算戒除掉毒瘾了,就能得到救赎吗？她不知道。 As if struggles with the dark and bright boundary above, regardless of looks to that side, could not see that can make one feel the hope the future outline. She rather such struggling unceasing working, never truly have that day of result, even if tied up forever like this, forever is uncomfortable, forever is unable free still good, at least at this moment, her was being controlled by others, truly has relates her person to control her, how told each to walk. 仿佛挣扎与黑暗与光明的边界之上,然而无论望向那一边,都看不到能令人感受到希望的未来轮廓。她宁愿这样的挣扎不断的进行下去,永远不要有真正产生结果的那一天,就算永远被这样捆绑住,永远难受,永远无法自由也好,至少在此刻,她被别人所支配着,有真正关系她的人在支配着她,告诉她每一步该怎样走。 Good wants to cry, but...... cannot be disliked again, oneself anything does not have...... 好想哭,但是……不能再被人讨厌了,自己已经什么都没有了…… ************************************************************* ************************************************************* After door, the depressing mewl sound passes on vigorously faintly from inside, naturally cannot hide the truth from the Jiaming keen hearing. 经过房门时,极力压抑的低泣声隐隐从里面传出来,自然瞒不过家明敏锐的听力。 As before is the woman image that the re-equipping becomes, shows the whites of the eyes slightly, he goes down the building, in the entire house the traditional Chinese medicine the fragrance of flavor and meal mixes in together, fills the air, Yahan that just got off work is also coming from out of the door, looks at going downstairs Jiaming to show a faint smile: „She many?” 依旧是改装而成的女人形象,微微翻了个白眼,他走下楼去,整间房子里中药的味道与饭菜的香味混合在一起,弥漫开来,刚刚下班的雅涵也正从门外进来,望着下楼的家明微微一笑:“她好些了吗？” „Hē, little, today should not manifest suddenly again, you can rest to be good in the evening to think.” “呵,一点点,今天应该不会再发作,你晚上可以睡个好觉了。” „Um, thank you.” Still when was the work half-length skirt, glasses and wave sends the old maid appearance of matching, Yahan at this moment smiled, some actually uniform/subdue seduction general specialized feelings, because in front of Jiaming, more as before was that pure aesthetic sense, „these days was quite tired, always made you play the role to come...... to remain to eat meal like this?” “嗯,谢谢你了。”仍然是工作时的半身裙,眼镜与波浪发搭配的老处女打扮,此刻的雅涵笑起来时,倒是有些制服诱惑一般的专业感觉,不过因为是在家明面前,更多的依旧是那种纯净的美感,“这几天好累,老是让你扮成这样子过来……留下来吃饭好吗？” „Today......” Jiaming shrugs, „ another day, says to Lingjing today returns to Dojo to eat “今天啊……”家明耸了耸肩,“改天吧,今天跟灵静说了回武馆去吃 Ends must go to the singsong house, moreover...... you meal is also insufficient. ” 完还得去歌厅,而且……你这边饭菜也不够啊。” „Uh? Me?” The Yahan slightly feeling is stunned. “呃？我这边？”雅涵微感错愕。 Jiaming said with a smile: „Arrived in your family to come in any case ahead of time, knows that you get off work quite late, to use the cured meat, mushrooms and carrot these thing your refrigerator to steam one bowl of food today to come out to you, stirred fry small bowl of green vegetables while convenient .” He put out a hand to refer to that side the kitchen, „I know probably your capacity for food, in addition Yiting must eat, slightly many, three people ate the affirmation to be insufficient.” 家明笑道:“反正提前到你家里来了,知道你今天下班比较晚,就用你冰箱里的腊肉、蘑菇、胡萝卜这些东西给你蒸了一碗饭出来,顺便炒了一小碗青菜,喏。”他伸手指了指厨房那边,“我大概知道你的饭量,再加上毅婷要吃的,稍微多一点,三个人吃就肯定不够了。” Looks at the Jiaming smile, Yahan deeply is inspiring: „Quite fragrant......” she was infatuated the moment, just now frowns, says with a smile: „Thanks, smelled that share taste for serveral days daily, I soon collapse.” 望着家明的笑容,雅涵深吸了一口气:“好香啊……”她陶醉了片刻,方才皱起眉头,笑道:“谢谢,这些天天天都闻到那股子药味,我都快要崩溃啦。” „Person on one's own side, why said these.” Received the key of that old and worn-out vehicle from the Yahan hand, goes out two steps, turns head, „right, Xu Yiting this week the drug dependence indeed dropped, but her has the burden at heart, you enlighten her slowly, after without drug dependence, returns to Huang Family to apologize, the life does not have then to be fearful, to be honest, I do not have the time to rub with her slowly......” “自己人,何必说那些。”从雅涵手中接过那老爷车的钥匙,走出两步,又回过头来,“对了,许毅婷这一个星期来毒瘾的确是减退了一些,但她的心里有负担,你慢慢开导一下她,没有毒瘾之后回到黄家道个歉,人生没那么可怕,老实说,我是没工夫跟她慢慢磨……” „Um.” Yahan nods cleverly, „right, the Xu Yiting matter, did you have with Lingjing and Shasha say?” “嗯。”雅涵乖巧地点了点头,“对了,许毅婷的事情,你有跟灵静和沙沙说吗？” „Has, among our three people does not have too many secrets, naturally they have not asked...... Hē, but plays the role of this appearance to be possible not to make them know, so as to avoid being smiled by them.” Out spoke thoughtlessly to reply one with a smile, Jiaming goes out, waves, „bye-bye, goes to eat meal.” “有啊,我们三个人之间没太多的秘密的,当然她们也没多问……呵,不过扮成这副样子可还没让她们知道,免得被她们笑死。”笑着随口回答一句,家明走出门外,挥了挥手,“拜拜,进去吃饭吧。” „Um, the careful point drives.” Stands waves in the entrance, the eye looked at Jiaming to enter in her sedan car, later skilled backing up and advance, the vehicles vanished after the path corner, she closed the door with a smile, moved toward the kitchen happy, the midway also revolved a lithe dance step. She likes among the feeling with Jiaming, delivers the little couple who the companion goes out to be the same probably. “嗯,小心点开车。”站在门口挥了挥手,眼望着家明进了她的那辆小轿车里,随后一个熟练的倒车、前进,车辆消失在道路转角之后,她才笑着关上了房门,心情愉快地走向厨房,中途还旋转了一个轻盈的舞步。她喜欢跟家明之间的这种感觉,就好像送伴侣出门的小夫妻一样。 Wears the glove, puts out that bowl that steams rice from the rice cooker, deeply attracts one, the meat greets the nostrils fragrant, steams rice that large bowl with subconsciously in the hand some little time, felt oneself somewhat let success go to the head, since tidies up the mood hastily, puts out other bowl from the cabinet, starts to make two meal minute...... 戴着手套,从饭锅里拿出蒸饭的那只碗,深吸一口,肉香扑鼻,下意识地将那一大碗蒸饭拿在手中好一会儿,才觉得自己有些得意忘形了,连忙收拾起心情,从橱柜中拿出另外的碗来,开始将饭菜分做两份…… On the other hand, drove the Yahan sedan car to leave villa, Jiaming went to was actually not at this time with the room that Lingjing Shasha lived together, but after was the parents die, leaves his set of house, he must go to there to dress up to change, today is on Saturday, went to Dojo to finish eating the food, must go to Blue Bird Bar to sing with Lingjing and Shasha three people together, since their three people formed small „concept orchestra”, the Lingjing clever talk went to the piano performance work of Nordic Fantasy, at present except for the computer concurrent job of Jiaming, once a week performance is three person biggest pen sources of income. 另一方面,开着雅涵的小轿车离开了别墅,家明去往的却不是此时跟灵静沙沙同居的房间,而是父母死后留给他的那一套房屋,他得去那里将装扮改回来,今天是星期六,去武馆吃完了饭,与灵静、沙沙三人还得一块去蓝鸟酒吧唱歌,自从他们三人组建起小小的“概念乐队”以来,灵静便辞去了北欧幻想的钢琴演奏工作,目前除了家明的电脑兼职,每周一次的表演便是三人最大的一笔经济来源。 It is not willing to let the chaotic 7-8 bad matter interferes with three people live together to live normally are too many, therefore puts on make-up the woman such matter, Jiaming has not mentioned before two young girls, what kind of angle regardless of after all from regards, this matter is not the bridge section that in the normal life should present. 不愿意让乱七八糟的事情干涉三人的正常同居生活太多,因此化妆成女人这样的事情,家明并没有在两名少女面前提起,毕竟无论从怎样的角度看待,这种事情都不是正常人生中应该出现的桥段。 The time is around 6 : 00 pm, the weather faded out gradually, to that side driving distance generally probably is about 20 minutes, but at this time happen to was the stream of vehicles peak of getting off work, had/left Shao Hua qu, after entering obsolete old City District, above the path the vehicles then crowded, the red light shone, the car stopped, Jiaming looked at the weather, indication that as if some soon rained. 时间是傍晚 6 点多,天色渐渐暗了下来,去往那边的车程一般大概是二十分钟左右,不过这时正好是下班的车流高峰期,出了韶华区,进入陈旧的老城区之后,道路之上车辆便拥挤起来,红灯亮起,小车停了下来,家明望了望天色,似乎有些快要下雨的征兆。 When the vision has swept the rear view mirror, the form that several can be the acquaintance mapped the view. 目光扫过后视镜时,几个算得上熟人的身影映入了眼帘。 In the sidewalk of roadside, the Jiaming current three classmates dash about wildly to come from behind, seemed being pursued by anyone generally, what is the head is always sporty is also Dongfang Wan of king of courting disaster, what follows behind in her was two usually with the female schoolmate who she compared to compatible, several people were always the travel Society nuclei. Stopped the moment pantingly, starts to run desperately forward. 路边的行人道上,家明目前的三名同班同学从后面狂奔而来,似乎正被什么人追逐着一般,为首的是一向活力十足也是惹祸之王的东方婉,跟在她身后的是两名平素与她比较合得来的女同学,几人一向是旅行社团的中坚力量。气喘吁吁地停了片刻,又开始拼命地向前跑。 Does not know that this fellows annoyed anything...... 不知道这帮家伙又惹了什么事…… Somewhat curls the lip funnily, the green light also happen to shone, he starts the automobile, crossed intersection slowly, Dongfang Wan ran over toward this car(riage) unexpectedly fast, because in front of being able to catch up, is whipping the back row glass desperately: „Teacher Yahan! Wait! Teacher Yahan!” 有些好笑地撇了撇嘴,绿灯也正好亮了起来,他开动汽车,才慢慢地过了十字路口,东方婉竟然飞快地朝着这辆车跑了过来,由于赶不上前面,拼命地拍打着后排的车窗:“雅涵老师！等等！雅涵老师！” Also came...... 又来了…… This old car glass is quite dim, weather that in addition soon rains, outside could not see clearly on the driver seat the appearance of person is also normal, sized up the crevices between front two car(riage)s, determined after accelerating to pass another vehicle a little difficulty, Jiaming stopped reluctantly aside, put down the glass, showed a perfect female smile. 这辆年代久远的小车车窗比较黯淡,再加上快要下雨的天气,外面看不清驾驶座上人的样子也是正常,打量了前方两辆车之间的空隙,确定加速超车会有点难度之后,家明无奈地靠边停了下来,放下车窗,露出一个完美的女性笑容。 „Teacher Yahan......? This...... is the Teacher Yahan car(riage)......” “雅涵老师……耶？这个……是雅涵老师的车啊……” How severe Teacher, always is more genial regarding the outstanding student, seems like Yahan in the school to Dongfang Wan but actually also good, sizes up the ornaments in car(riage), on the face of Dongfang Wan is showing the facial expression of doubts. Female on the driver seat said with a smile elegantly simple: „Are you Yahan student?” 无论怎样严厉的老师,对于表现出色的学生总是要和善许多,看起来雅涵在学校里对东方婉倒也不错,打量着车内的摆设,东方婉的脸上露出疑惑的神情。驾驶座上的女子淡雅地笑道:“你是雅涵的学生吗？” „Um Um, are you Teacher Yahan friend?” “嗯嗯,你是雅涵老师的朋友？” „Hē, indeed, I just arrived at shortly after here, uses taking advantage of the Yahan car(riage), what matter do you ask her to have?” “呵,是啊,我刚到这边不久,借雅涵的车用一下,你们找她有什么事吗？” „Is all right and is all right.” Then looks at behind, Dongfang Wan said, „some people pursue us in behind, can make us enter in the car(riage) to hide slightly, if there is a matter, we get down immediately, Ok?” “没事、没事。”回头望了望后面,东方婉说道,“有人在后面追我们,可以让我们进车里稍微躲一下吗,如果有事,我们马上就下来,可以吗？” Looks at the rear view mirror lightly, the female on vehicle nods: „...... Comes up.” 淡淡地望了望后视镜,车上的女子点了点头:“……上来吧。” „Good, thank you.” Opens the vehicle door, Dongfang Wan sits to the copilot place, other two females got up the back row seat: „I called Dongfang Wan, hello/you good.” “太好了,谢谢你。”拉开车门,东方婉坐到副驾驶座上,其余两名女子则上了后排的座位:“我叫东方婉,你好。” „Jian Suyan.” In gentle voice, two people first meeting. “简素言。”柔和的嗓音中,两人初次见面了。
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